Really Feeling the Baby "Itch"

I feel compelled to answer since you seemed to get replies saying kids close in age isn't great. First, it seems like there are 2 issues - should you ever get pregnant again and then if so, when? I can't help with the "ever" question. That's up to your doctor. In terms of the close in age, they wouldn't even be that close. My 2 girls are 15.5 mos apart and I am SO glad now. While the beginning was super hard, now that the youngest is 3, I think it's much easier and more fun than if they were further apart in age. It's been like this since the youngest was a little over 2. And I don't feel like I didn't focus on each one enough. But as other people said, money is an issue. If you can afford to stay home when pregnant and then hire help after (or have good family help), then again back to what your doctor says. If you can't, then it's going to be a huge strain and I'd wait. With help the first 2 years will still be hard. Without help, they'll overwhelming a lot of the time.

I have two 22 months apart, and I have to think a lot of how having closely spaced kids works out depends on the family and on the personalities or any issues with the kids.

My kids are now almost 3 and 1, and it still feels like the older sibling is adjusting to having his baby brother around. I think it might be easier to deal with a second child when the kids are in daycare or at least if there is some help available. As a SAHM, there is only one of me, and my two year old didn't stop needing tons of my attention when the baby arrived. A two year old can't be counted on to be nice to a baby (even for an instant). A two year old may require lots of attention and discipline, which may require letting a little baby cry more than you would like. An easy pregnancy with a toddler to care for can be hard enough, since there is no longer the option of just resting when you are tired, and if you are caring for two once the baby arrives, napping when the baby naps might not be an option.

My husband is bothered that he has little interaction with the one year old in part because our older child really wants his attention when he is home. The days of having just one baby seem romantic in retrospect because my husband and I were doing so much together as opposed to each of us focusing on a different kid (and as SAHM, my breaks these days mostly consist of having only one child to deal with at a time, not with having time truly by myself.)

That said, it is getting easier, and I am hopeful that my two will enjoy many years of playing together and enjoying many of the same types of activities. We didn't seriously consider child spacing issues because I was already over the hill (40 when I had my second), and I don't regret having them fairly close together. I can't imagine having them closer, but I know many families do. I think it might have been easier to deal with my oldest (a personable but sometimes difficult kid) if had been an only child for another year, but I like that, even now, he doesn't remember life before his brother arrived.

Now, how am I going to get through today? :)

J.,

Because its possible you could make the baby you have motherless! How about adoption?

Blessings...

oh to be so young again....you have plenty of time for another baby. enjoy the one you have now. when he is older, lets say at least four, then revisit the baby idea. time goes so quickly and he will be little for only so long then off to school...who will watch him if you get pregnant now and end up on your back for months or in the hospital? i like the suggestion of adoption, another pregnancy for you sounds soooo dangerous. what if you should die? i know that sounds morbid, but it is a reality. there are plenty of children that need a family, what about foster parenting? think long and hard about what could happen if things go wrong if you get pregnant. you've been blessed with a son and daughter and wonderful husband, is having a baby worth losing all that and possibly your life? when your son is four or five think about fostering or adopting. your family needs you.

My boys are 23 months apart. I thought having two close together would guarantee them to be playmates! Boy have I been WRONG so far! My oldest is 3 1/2. I feel like he is still adjusting to having a little brother and wonder if he will ever grow to "love" his brother or if he will pick on his little brother forever.

My oldest has been very energetic and active from a young age. It makes me sad to think that he too was so little when his brother was born and I didn't fully get to enjoy his toddlerhood and felt "rushed" with him growing into a preschooler. My baby was horribly colicky for the first 4 months of his life which took a tremendous toll on us. No amount of preparation could of ever prepared me for that kind of stress. I ended up enrolling my 2 year old into a preschool 2 days a week just so he could get out of the house and get stimulation because I was too sleep deprived to entertain him all day.It's already hard enough to adjust going from 1 to 2 but to throw the 1 in 5 chance of getting a colicky baby in there made everything SO much harder.

So with that said. Despite having one colicky baby I still want to try once more and it would be great to have a little girl BUT I am waiting until my youngest is 3 and will be in preschool on a regular basis.

Ummm... other than your kidneys shutting down on you again, being on bed rest more than likely, the loss of the income that you're used to (especially with so many people tapping in to the non-existent sources of income from the state so you'll probably get even less this time), the dirty diapers that will be in doubles now, the loss of sleep again, having a baby who has to be born pre-mature with all of those possible issues... I'd get a hobby instead.

My first thought is money. Is there enough of it with everything that is going on in this economy.
My second though goes along with this story. My daughter is 20 months old and the love of my life (along with my husband). My husband and I had been trying since Jan 08 for our second child. I wanted our kids really close together in age. Last October I found out I was pregnant and a week later I found out I was miscarrying. I was very sad about the miscarriage and most of the emotions that went along with it. It actually got harder as time passed. If I would have had that baby he/she would have been born pretty much on my daughters 2nd birthday. Well, since the miscarriage I just watch my daughter play and develop and be a toddler. There is so much to love been 12 and 24 months. There's a part of me that wishes I was 20ish week pregnant right now, but there's also a large part of me that is happy I get this time with my daughter. My friends kids are 17 months apart and I sometimes feel sad for her because she missed out on this special time with her first born.
Just my experience!
C.