Re: Our Budget Needs Help - Husband So Stubborn

Updated on August 14, 2012
L.J. asks from Minneapolis, MN
7 answers

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies! I'm sorry I'm just getting back to all of you. I do have a follow-up question to this. Does anyone follow Dave Ramsey's program with the zero-balanced budget (meaning every $$ is assigned to a certain category)? I don't think we could do the cash in the envelopes, and would somehow need to do this with our credit/debit card.

The big dilemma is that he wants to have his say in our spending/financial decisions - but when we end up in the red, it's always where "I've overspent", not where he has. I would love to have him more involved in our budget planning - but the excuse is always he doesn't have time. Would this be a possible answer to our situation?

Thanks again!

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So What Happened?

Well I think I have my work cut out for me. I have to convince my hubby to be apart of a zero-balanced budget and also to consider using an online resource to track our expenses regularly. Hopefully in time, I can report we are out of the red and staying out of it regularly.
Thanks everyone : )

More Answers

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Do the cash. You "feel" it when you spend real money.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, read the book if you want or just use the principles that Dave gives and get the Mint app on your phone. This is the ONLY thing that has worked for us. It takes about 30 min to set up from your computer, you input all of your bank info, cc company info and your monthly budget (which comes with highly specific categories that can be as general or specialized as you want). Then, every time you swipe any one of your cards, withdraw money, deposit money or anything, it automatically shows on your mint budget and withdraws from that category, telling you how much you have left for that specific category. Many things auto categorize (such as grocery stores and restaurants automatically go into your "grocery" or "restaurant" category/budget) but if you want to place it in a different category (say, your husband or your "blow" money, work supplies, etc etc) you simply tap the transaction and select a different category and it updates it on your mint. The app will also give you alerts if you want it to, in the form of texts for categories that are over budget, large purchases, large deposits, bills due etc. It is an awesome app! PM me if you have any other questions :)

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D.S.

answers from Kansas City on

The zero-balanced budget is great! And really, the cash envelopes keep you from overspending. If you want to spend $20 at target and have a debit card, you can spend over that, even if it is just a smidge. If you only have $20 with you, you can't spend more! It's like tough-love budgeting. But it works! We've done it for a few years now. Got out of $38K in debt, have only the mortgage left, have an emergency fund and STILL watch every penny - literally, they are in the envelopes!

Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I have only heard great things about Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University program. It has been offered at our church several times. People love it and there have been so many successes stories that have been told by using these strategies. If you can get your husband on board with you, this is the program to do to help your financial planning/budgeting.
HTH,
A.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

open a savings account just in your name as a reserve-dont tell hubby-sounds pretty selfish if you ask me.put every xtra penny in this account-that way you always have something to fall back on and he cant touch-and if you do decide to leave-youve got a nest egg.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My opinion is that as long as it is you trying to budget and then get your husband's input, it's going to be a conflict. The good part of an educational program is that it is a neutral person helping you to set a budget, which gets rid of any husband/wife baggage that would otherwise get in the way. If you don't think that, from a practical point of view, Dave Ramsey's program will work for you, don't give up on having an objective program help you.

I took a financial planning course with my husband through the local community college and it was so helpful. It didn't involve a cash-only aspect, but it did talk a lot about budget planning and setting priorities. And, for example, if taking a trip to visit your family is important to you, then it should be part of the monthly budget - then it isn't a surprise and you won't run in the red when it happens.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

We do a zero-balance budget. If all the money is assigned to a category, there are no surprises.

We don't do cash-only, because that is not practical for us.

Do you and your husband make time for each other? Like date night? Plan a date night, get some takeout, and do the budgeting. Not traditionally romantic, but might save a lot of stress in in your relationship in the long term.

If he simply refuses to be involved, it means he is intentionally taking no responsibility and keeping you in a position to be blamed. That is not okay, and it shows a problem that goes beyond money issues.

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