Thanks

I don't agree... I like a man to be interested but not an aggressor. And in matters of a physical relationship I think it should be 50-50. I don't want to have to wait for a man to initiate and I don't want to initiate all the time either.

Communication is the key to a happy relationship, in my opinion.

It's individualistic. It should be 50/50. I wouldn't be able to stand a guy if he was telling me where we were going on a date all the time.

Guys initiate the first date and meeting, in my opinion, but a constant relationship of initiating everything would get on my nerves. Sexuality should be 50/50 too or more or less. Guys shouldn't have to do all the initiating. There shouldn't be an all the time on either end, give and take on everything :)

I agree with Manda F about the typical guy guy. I hate when guys do all the "alpha male" stereotypical guy stuff.
I also agree that it is cute for a guy to "chase" aka initiate meeting a woman, but if she says no he needs to leave it alone... the old meaning that you bug a girl until she says yes for a date is really really annoying.

I usually initiate, BUT yes I do love to feel feminine and cute and girly. I guess for me it's half and half :)

Why are you having this conversation with your son? Creepy.

I don't agree. Everyone is different. Everyone wants something different. I don't know all the woman in the world, so my opinion doens't count for anything.

What you are talking about... is "initiative."
That Men, need to take initiative.... and not be a bump-on-a-log and not be a dead-beat dude.

Nope, who wants that?
Not any woman I know of.

NOW... I would really correct your son... if he believes that the word "aggressor" is the way to be with a girl.
It is a bad stereotype, to be.
He should be, a Gentleman. With class.
A man like that, CAN have total initiative.... to seek and do and attain... what they want in life. Be it a woman or a career.
THAT.... is attractive, in a Man.

I am. :-D I like the man to dominate. Of course only when it comes to stuff that you have mentioned. And I feel as though men like to take on that role because, well it's just in their nature. :-)
So YES...my vote is on your side. :-D

I am a traditionalist with most things....When it comes to asking out on a date, I like the man to do the asking. When it comes to the first, second date...I don't like sex to be the main subject. To me that's tacky. When it comes to becoming serious in a bf/gf relationship, I like the man to do the initiating. When it comes to marriage, the man does the asking. :-)

Of course now a days, I have noticed that some gals are the aggressor. Especially teens in this day and age. I don't agree with it though. But things do change. lol

NO!! What happens when we want it, and it's not on our man's mind at the moment? I think that it is great when the man pursues you, but sometimes it's just the other way around, and that is OK. Men need to know they are wanted and needed too!!

i agree as far as myself goes. but i would not go so far as to say 100%. maybe 70. there are so many women out there now who want to be the dominate one. or who are the uber feminist type.

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I'm all about the old fashioned roles, well, only in terms of the male pursuing the female. I love that. I would not be very interested in a guy if he wanted me to pursue him. In fact, I've never gone after a guy myself. I like knowing that they are interested...and when they pursue, you know they are interested. I think it's romantic for the guy to take that role and pursue. It's something I love about my hubby.

I haven't read the comments, but I know that some women feel differently. I definitely think the VAST majority feel similarly though. Almost every girl friend I have was pursued by her guy/husband. Seems to be a pretty common feeling among women and men too.

ADDED: I've read through most of the comments, and I don't think she was meaning that women can't some times pursue. I think she even said that in her question. I think she just means that overall, we like the men to pursue us...we like to be chased.

Now that I'm married, I definitely pursue my hubby when I'm interested, but he's the "alpha male", not me, and I LOVE that. It doesn't mean he controls or dominates me or that I'm submissive and do whatever he wants. We are equals...he's just more manly about it all...and it's so attractive.

Disagree.
I asked my husband out first, I knew what I wanted and went after it.
But I am also an unusual female. I'm not girly . Sure when I was a teen I wanted to be asked out. I got tired of waiting so when I met my hubby I stepped up and asked him out. It worked out well!

how old is your son? And I've been generally the "guy" in all of my relationships, including with my husband. All girls are different.

100% is absolutely wrong. And I agree that the word "aggressor" sends the wrong message to your son.

Relationships are much more varied, individualized and subtle than that. While it is great to encourage him to initiate a conversation or a pursue date with a girl he's interested in, he needs to read signals, too. There's a lot of give and take.

And I've been the initiator as well as the pursued in my past relationships. Both have their joys.

I agree in general. In my personal preference, males should more often pursue sexually and females should reciprocate and keep up their end of things equally past the initiation point. MANY women I know HATE it when the guy wants the woman to always take charge and initiate things-or even to be even steven about it. It does make them feel extremely frustrated, unloved, and like their men are wimps. Feeling pursued, desired and seduced is an extreme turn on for lots of women.

Id prefer the word initiate,,not agressor.
Im not too sure about which way it goes. Some guys are always trying,, and when we decide to let them, they get some.
What is that phrase I used to hear.."Girls chase the guys until the guys catch them" or was it "the guys chase the girls until the girls catch them".

I'm happier when the male is the primary persuer. :) You win that vote IMO mom. How old is your son??

Everyone likes to be pursued. Why? Because it says You are worth the effort!

Three women started our relationship being the aggressor. I was WOWed!! and pursued them then.

Good luck to you and yours

I don't like that word. It doesn't even apply. But I know what you are trying to say. It's just that sex and aggression don't mix.

Yes, I want to be pursued and wood.

Agreed! But I like to be the agressor every so often.

Seems to me the girls that I knew that liked to be the agressor were trying to fill a void in their lives. And had some emotional issues. That doesn't mean that is the case for everyone, but just seems to be the case with the ones that I knew.

I like him to be the aggressor, and take on the manly things without being asked. In life and in bed.

but yeah 100% of anything is pushing it, so i guess u lose on a technicality

No. It varies from person to person, couple to couple.

Yes. Women need to be chased!

Agree! (But then, you've met my husband. If he weren't the Alpha, he wouldn't know what to do ;)

I definitely disagree with your statement. My friends and I value warmth and compassion as well as having an interest in us as individuals. The result is a mutual interest in romance.

It is different for everyone, and the situations.
I am pretty traditional or old fashioned a little I guess. I like my hubby to do most the initiating but I like to too sometimes, and he doesnt like always having to be the one so it works both ways.
He is my husband and the father of my son, he is the head of the household. We discuss everything and anything done such as bills, our son, and what not. And his opinion matters very much to me just as mine does to him.

It works for us, and it comes natural. It keeps things simple.

Agree with you. I like to be chased...I spent too many years as the chaser ;-)

I disagree with your first statement. It reminds me of 50 years ago and the girl waiting by the phone for the guy to call.

I think you would be safe saying the majority of women prefer to have male be the primary aggressor/pursuer most of the time.

I think AGGRESSOR is the wrong word...I like it when my husband INITIATES things there is a HUGE difference between AGGRESSOR and INITIATOR.

I don't know how old your son is - but he needs to be taught respect - no means no, stop means stop and while women like to be "chased" more like to be respected than just 'chased'...

although there are many parents that aren't actively involved in their children's lives so they aren't getting it about respect and dating - they are learning it via youtube, television and movies...which is VERY sad.

Can't speak for anyone else...

But for me I love and ADORE when men are the aggressor (if and only if they are also respectful / aka no means no, and being turned down isn't my being coy). I love being met/matched/surpassed. Love alpha males.

My husband is neither the aggressor in the relationship/bedroom, nor an alpha male. In fact, he was completely out of my "type" as far as men I dated / fell for. I'm a femme tomboy. I'm gungho/ have at/ really physical/ competitive. There's 3 certain types of men who reeeally dig that.

- The alpha who like a challenge (not to dominate, but to have someone to play with) / an equal partner

- The beta who wants the woman to be in charge

- The man who want a mommy instead of a wife

My personal "type"/ what is fun & relaxing is the first. I married the third. With the tantrums to match. Whoops.

i agree with you....my husband feels otherwise..hehehehe

I agree with you whole heartedly!

Yeah, I like the man to do the most initiating... but mostly because when I was dating I was used to that- I never asked out one person and had several dates. I feel like I'm worth a little work. I'd assume the man wasn't into me that much if they didn't try to the extent I think they should. As a relationship progresses, I think things should even out a little more. BUT in the beginning I'd even still expect the man to pay for the date (mostly because it would have been him asking- cause I'm not gonna do it! LOL!) I also appreciate the gentlemanly things such as opening doors for me, being respectful...

Separately, or not so separately, I like to feel that a man can take charge when needed to, and protect me- even if we are on a first date. If he didn't have the courage to approach me and start the courting I'd fear he would be unfit in a situation where I might need him.

Now that I've been with my husband for 10 years... it is totally equal and has been for quite a while. Actually, I was really interested in him from the get-go... I was not silent in my desire for him. lol.

No. I completely disagree with you and would never have found my soul mate if I subscribed to these types of 1950s gender roles. It takes two to tango and femininity has nothing to do whatsoever with how or if my husband was the aggressor. I feel feminine because I am a woman and because my husband loves and respects me for precisely who I am. I think it's weird to tell your son something like that.

To be completely honest (this HAS been a topic of discussion lately around my house,) I like a man who is steadfast but not an a**, meaning he will stand up for what he believes in with an open mind...not aggressive per se, but IS himself (I hope that makes sense.) However, in the bedroom, I and most of the females I have discussed this matter with prefer the man to be more aggressive.

'In the bedroom' is probably not what you were referring to when talking to your son, though, lol!

I prefer the persuer. I've had bad luck/no luck when I did the persuing. I can then make a decision on whether the guy is worthy. ALTHOUGH...most of the guys that 'persued' me were usually the undesirables. :( I ended up getting set up a few times by friends.

I think a generation ago you would have been right, but things are changing. I am one of the few that are left that like my men to be men, and for them to allow me to act like a lady, but that way of thinking is considered old fashion these days :)