Questions About Staying at Home with Kids

I decided to stay at home after my second child was born. I joined my local MOMS Club so the kids get to be with other kids but I also get to be with other moms. You can just google MOMS Club and it should bring you to the national web site. I have my older child at preschool to so he is learning things and gets to be with more kids.

My first day home after we decided I would be a SAHM was sooooo weird!! I dropped my son off at school and then just came home. I had never done that. It took me about a month or so to not want to go tback to work and every fun school day brought back the "I must be there" feelings. (I used to teach).
When my little one got old enough I started enrolling her into dance and gymnastics, swimming classes. Now, after two more babies I can't imagine going back to work fulltime.
My kids have never been unhappy to have me home. I had them enrolled in a preschool to play with others by the time they were 2, just a couple days a week. As they got older we went more days, until by 4/5 they were in 5 days a week.
When my youngest went to kindergarten we got a puppy, so I still ahd a "job" to do.

I think you are absolutely right that it won't make sense for you to work full-time anymore. If you are only bringing home $200 for all your trouble (which is probably going to go toward filling up your gas tank to get to work!), it doesn't make sense.

I have three kids, but I never quit working completely. I have worked part-time, without putting my kids in daycare, for 11 years now. You have to be resourceful, but it can be a lot of fun as well. And frankly, after being home with the kids all day, it can be very refreshing to go to work for a few hours and be with some grown-ups! Your "work" will actually be the quietest, most relaxing time of the day!

If you check around your town, you can probably come up with something you can do when your husband gets home from work. I used to be a teacher, so now I tutor during evenings and weekends. Use the skills that you already have and put them to work.

And your kids will probably really enjoy being home with you. Make sure that you get out and do lots of fun activities. Join a mommies group. Plan lots of playdates. After all, they have the rest of their lives to be away from you. Hang on to this precious time when you can keep them close!

http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids.php

1. Ask your daycare if they would give you a multiple child discount since it wouldn't financially make sense to keep them in there. I think they would prefer to give you a discount rather than lose 3 kids.
If you do decided to be a SAHM make a routine. Kids play time outside till whenever, go to library on wed, play day two times a week, ect. That will start becoming your "job" and get you on that scheduled out work week that you are used to. Make activities fun for at home. Like sweeping. I have minitures of all of our gardening/home tools for the kids to help our/pretend with. Make a garden for you and a small plot for the kids to plant what they want there. If you live in an apt building, use planters instead.

THere is so much to do when you are a stay at home mom that it is really up to you how much you go and do. Joining a moms group is a great way to meet other adults, find out all the cool fun things out there to do with the little ones. Moms groups are always in the know especially things that are cheap or free. The last group i was in, they were always posting bargains that they had heard about. Plus you'll have all the get togethers with the group. And there is storytime at the library where you meet moms and dads, play time at the mall, park play time, some gymnastics places have open gym, etc. You can do as much or as little as you'd like.

It helps to be organized and come up with a schedule. We do music class on Mondays, open gym on Tuesday or Wednesday, and storytime at the library then go over to our community rec center after for free playtime on Fridays. If we get to all of it in a week great, if we miss something no biggie.

I started selling childrens books at home parties (Usborne Books) - it gets me out of the house and my kids get tons of free books to try out. Feel free to check them out at my website www.katiebooklady.com I come home feeling productive and reenergized for my family because I love the product and I get to socialize with other moms while I make money. It's almost entirely online training, but there are also supervisors and consultants all throughout the nation who love to share their passion.

I personally have found that it is far easier to work outside of the home than to be a SAHP (easier to let someone else "deal with" the children and all that that entails) but I didn't have children so that someone else could raise them the majority of their waking hours (nothing wrong with that, it just isn't for us). You can put your 3 year old in part time preschool so he still gets some social interaction and join a play group or go to story time at the local library for social interaction for your oldest and middle child (and baby after a few short months!). There are days when I want to be someplace else away from my girls and with adults but most days I am thankful that I have the opportunity to stay home. And, yes, it is an adjustment but being willing is half the battle.

As for making money...are you crafty? Can you make and sell things on Etsy or Ebay? Can you clean houses when your husband is home? Having an in-home daycare is also a popular choice.

Good luck!

Yes, it's very tough. You will miss adult interaction. It can be difficult to stay on task, and can be draining and exhausting!

But, if you create a daily routine and stick to it, and try to have fun... it helps.

For example, twice a week at a specific time we go to the library. On another day, we go to a playgroup. A few times a week we get lunch and go to the park, or go shopping and in the mall play area, or go to a local bounce house. I also go to a gym twice a week and the kids get watched there for two hours. Also, try to do a little craft or play games with the kids. Maybe get some preschool workbooks and go over letters and such. If you can afford to put your oldest in a mother's day out program at a local church 2-3 times a week, that can help.

So, just try to stay active and in a routine. Take a shower and get dressed every morning! I know that sounds absurd now, but when you are at home all day, every day, it wont :)

As for income, I sell my handmade crafts and jewelry online and blog. Also, I make balloons in restaurants on the weekends, and sometimes do balloons and face painting at birthday parties. I went through here, they will provide training: http://www.balloondistractions.com

I can see why you are anxious about this transition because it is a BIG change to YOUR lifestyle. Although it would also be a change for your children, I think they would choose you over any daycare environment. YOU are MOM! :)

I went from working full time to being a SAHM (who works very limited part time) with my first....not quite your situation. I also worked with children (and still do...I tutor privately).

My advice is to go for it! It sooooooo worth it. I get to cuddle my kids anytime I want to and they get to cuddle their mom anytime they want to. I answer the questions they ask with my values and our lifestyle in perspective, not someone else (even as great as they are).

Logistics:
* You already know how to work with kids and plan activities...great. Just don't over plan or over do things. Kids need some down time.
* Look into community education courses or Early Childhood/Family Education programs (Here we have ECFE classes....1.5 hours a week per child)
* Locate other SAHM's in the area and plan playdates and meet up at the park, go to museums, etc. with them. It may take a little while to find other mom's with similar parenting styles, but it is a GREAT way to make friends of your own while your kids play. You can look on this site, google your area for a mom's group, or create one yourself.

As far as making extra money....what can you do as a service for someone else? You mentioned you worked with kids....can you provide before or after school care for some local kids? Tutor? Provide short term babysitting for other moms who have some errands to run?
Are you able to pet sit? Do someone's laundry? Assist a homebound person with errands? Try www.care.com to find or advertise these types of services.

What a great opportunity for you! And yes, there are days when I wonder if I can do it, like today. I have two sick kids and am still in my PJ's. I'm squeezing in my computer time with my lunch while the sickest sleeps. I wouldn't want it any other way. I get to spend quality time with my kids.

Oh....and you'll want to schedule a night out with friends on a regular basis. That will help give you adult conversation and help you appreciate your kids all over again.

Good luck with your decision!

Updated

This is a very personal decision for your family, of course, but there are more financial benefits to continuing to work than just the $200 a month. When you take years out of the workforce, you are not building your Social Security or retirement fund. Your chances of being re-employed after taking years off may be damaged. And divorces do happen. Here is one women's take on her decision years later:

http://www.startribune.com/opinion/115981484.html

is there any way to work the opposite schedule as hubby? like he work days you work nights or even part time ifyour day care doesn not charge you for a whole week and just the days your kids are there

Hello, I just wanted to let you know it will be a transition for you, but I bet you'll love it! I worked after my son was born but now after kid #2 I am a SAHM. Pretty much every morning we get out and do something - we have a schedule. We are around other kids daily! Mondays we go to the local environmental center (they have a toddler/preschooler time that is GREAT. There is a craft and an outside activity/hike). Tuesdays we go to family yoga (yoga for kids and moms - it is very cute). Wednesdays we go have a playdate at our friend's house or she and her kids come here (we do a running exchange and take turns watching the kids). Thursdays we go to Music and Movement at our local library and there is story time afterwards. Fridays we go to open swim at the pool (several other moms meet us there). It's a full week and I get plenty of adult interaction. Then we come home, eat lunch, and have nap time. The afternoons we just hang at home. We'll have free play or go for a walk to a nearby park. Just some ideas for you!

Get organized. I'm not super-organized, but when I stopped working FT to go freelance (I now work PT from home), I took it as my job to keep DD socialized. She was previously in a daycare and I didn't want to take the benefits from her.

We go to story time, we joined a Meet Up group for kids her age, we regularly attend nature center programs, kid programs throughout the county, get together with other stay at/work at home parents and their kids, etc. Having other parents to get together with also gives ME an outlet for adult interaction. Even if it's just an hour while our kids run around the playground, it's nice to talk with someone over the age of 3. Also, many of the programs expect age-appropriate listening, following directions and cooperation, which I think she needs.

I also try to get us out of the house (in general) once a day and out of the house (farther) once or twice a week for a couple of hours. Park. Store (many malls have play areas). Library. Nature Center. Kid museum. Zoo. Etc.

I don't think DD is unhappy with me at home. We still go out and hire a sitter sometimes so she gets that experience, too.

If you think your oldest would benefit from a day or two a week of childcare/preschool and you can afford it, it might be a middle ground to consider.

For you - get a shower and put on real clothes. I found it helps my day. :)

I've been a SAHM for almost 4 years now (when my 3rd was born). I wouldn't change it for the world! It's not easy, but so worth it. I get to raise my children with our values and not wonder what they're learning from our daycare provider. We loved our providers that my girls went to when I was working, so it wasn't too big of an issue, but I still wanted to be the one to raise my kids...that's why we had children! It was a big transition for my older two (ages 4 & 2) and I at first, but after we got settled in to our routine (having a preemie on a set schedule helped with that) things started going better. Now that my oldest two are in school, it's nice to be home when they get off the bus and not have to worry about missing work or trying to find someone who can watch them when they're sick (just had each of them home for a few days the last couple weeks).
You will need to make it a priority to get involved in mom's groups, Bible studies, play groups, etc. Your children will need interaction with other children and you'll need some interaction with other adults/moms.

You can be a sahm it takes work it isn't going to be perfect that would be unrealisitc thinking.You can plan to go on outings with your kids depending on what your area has to offer find thigns that are free of charge or pay for them.I have been a sahm since I was 6 weeks prego with my first baby my boyfriend now husband at the time didn't mind me quiting my job he knew that any wife he brings home to mama & has his babies he was going to be the sole provider & he has manned up to everything to do the best he can & above.I couldn't ask for a better husband/father..Since I was 23 at the time I didn't have a party life or much of a social life I had friends here & there but mainly at work is where the adult interaction was.I do miss the adult conversations but not the drama that some women bring.There are times where I feel that I can loose it at any time but then I look at them with their precious looking back big grins on their faces theyare happy & so am I.There is noway that I would work for a paycheck then bring it home to pay the sitter for watching my kids that is something that I can do.If I do ever decide it is time to go back to work my husband would be paying for daycare.The reason for that is he needs to see how much he would be putting out & how much we are saving by me not working & me being the sole care taker for our kids.There are many women who can't be sahm's & would love to.
If I were you I would plan to be a sahm for a while see if you like it if not you'll need a back up.

So, if you factor in gas, lunches out and dry-cleaning, I'd venture to guess that you'll be breaking even if not losing money by working. I'd also look into the tax implications of continuing to work (and pay for childcare). You may end up paying more on both incomes if you are in a higher tax bracket,

As a SAHM you can still socialize your kids--they'll love being in school when they are in school. As a SAHM, I am rarely actually *home*. We have playdates with friends at the park, go to the children's museum, story times, music classes, art classes. We meet dad for lunch at work and have a great time.

I love this time and wouldn't give it up for anything.

I used to have to work and when my husband got a better job I got to quit mine to SAH! I love it. My kids are 8 5 and 11 months. I started staying at home when my oldest was in 1st grad he is now in 3rd. I am always available for them. I never have to call off if they are sick I don't have to rush to get ready to go..Your kids will love being with you all day and won't miss daycare I bet. You will find your groove and your kids won't be crazy all the time. Depending on how your husband works you could always get a part time job in the evenings to help out with money. Good luck

I used to teach elementary for 13 years, but knew I wanted to stay home when my son and daughter came along. I love it and it is easy to fill up our time. We have a zoo membership and belong to a play date group. We have done Gymboree, Baby Maestro (music class) and a swimming class together. I also belong go to a women's bible group and MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) at my church. It gives me some adult time and my kids love playing with the other kids in the childcare rooms. My kids also go to a Mom's Day Out class one morning a week for some social interaction, but also learning skills they would need for school such as sitting in a group quietly, walking in line, following directions, art, music, story time, ect.
I don't know if you live in a small town or close to a good size city, but you can usually find plenty of kid friendly activities that are inexpensive or even free. Good luck with your decision. It is the best one I ever made!
A.

I stayed at home for 7 years and am glad I did. Yes, my retirement account is not as full as it would have been if i stayed working and I may have missed out on a few fabulous vacations, but being with them, raising them, and building a strong relationship with them is worth more than either of those things. I was a teacher and to earn a little extra money I tutored in the evenings. It was wonderful as I spent my days with the kids and got a little break from them in the evening. I recently went back to work part-time since now my kids are in school during the day. Finding any job in this economy is not easy, but remember, it's a cycle and the job market should improve in a few years.
As far as planning activities, there is so much to do. Join playgroups, MOMS club, groups at local churches/temples, schedule playdates, visit museums, libraries, theaters, etc. There's so much to do that you won't get bored.
One more thought: I did daycare for a few months. I have never wanted to work in or run a daycare, but a friend needed some help so I watched her son for 5 months. If you just take care of 1 child you can easily earn an extra $800-$1000 a month, much more money than you'd be earning if you sent your kids to daycare.

Another option might be daycare assistance from the County. My husband and I have three kids (two in daycare and one in school) and we couldn't do it without the assistance. I work 39 hours at my main job and 5 hours at my part-time job, my husband works 35 hours at his main job and 6 hours at his part-time job and we still don't make enough to be able to afford daycare (or health insurance for that matter). But we both have to work to save our sanity and we feel it is important for the kids to have social interaction. I did work three days a week for awhile so I could have a career and kids, but that got to be too much. So, we applied and qualified for assistance. We hate to see people take advantage of the system, but we're working 4 jobs and have three kids and we still don't make enough, but, we feel it's okay to use the assistance because we are out working, not just sitting at home taking advantage of the system...know what I mean? So for us it works, maybe for you it doesn't, but it is certainly another route for you to think about.