Question on D and C and Coping Afterwards

Hi L.,
Although you don't say it, I'm guessing this D&C was due to a failed pregnancy If tha's the case, give yourself time-- I'm a therapist, and the first thing tell an client who's coming in because of grief is: 'The stages you can expect to go trough are Denial, Anger, Brgaining (whi ch is not 'If I do X maybe Y ill happen' but more looking back to see what you could have done differently in the past), Deression, Accepance. You won't ht them all in that order, necessarily but can expect that most will crop up. Be paient with yourself-- the loss of a pregnancy is a big, private, loss. You may also want to confide i a close frend-- about 10% of pregnancies fail, and I was surprised how many women I knew ho'd had one (I had three, and two pefectly healthy babies),
To lift your spirits, try getting exercise, getting out in the sun, eating healthy.
Best of luck!

I had a D and C when I was 23,1st pregnancy, am 35 now. I was devastated for a long time. I don't know your situation, if you have any kids,but I am proud to say I now have 2 beatiful kids, 2yr-girl 6mo-boy. My husband & I have been married for 11 years & after 5 miscarriages, excepted that we were never gonna have kids. Then comes our miracle baby #1 & 2 years later, in between, 2 more miscarriages, then baby #2. We never used any fertility treatments, just let nature take it's course, & God blessed us.I hope this brings hope to you if you don't have kids yet.If you do then God Bless!

Hi L., first off....IM SO SORRY about your loss. My heart goes out to you during this time. The first time i ever got pregnant was 4 montsh after I got married. I never thought I could get pregnant (lots of health issues and thyroid stuff) So getting pregnant so fast put me over the moon. At my first appt the Dr was just very quiet during my ultrasound. Then he told me the fetus stopped growing at 5 weeks and I should have been at 9 weeks. I fell apart. My husband was great helping me through this. However, I just always thought I did something, the stress at work, my health. I had to have a D&C the day before my bday and then renew my drivers lic on my bday. UGH!!!! 2 weeks later I came down with shingles which is super paintful and is sometimes caused by stress. In addtion I had just changed jobs and started work 2 weeks before I found out I lost the pregnancy. But there is a bright side to this story. I had my follow up appt 3 weeks later and the Dr asked me if I was going to try again? I decided to enjoy being married and summer was coming and maybe the following year we would try. 35 days later after the D&C I got pregnant by total surprise. I didn't even believe the pregnancy tests and there were a lot of them. I was so worried that getting pregnanat so soon after the D&C was not a good thing either so I was freaked out till my first appt to find out the baby was 9 weeks at my appt with a strong heart. PHEW!!!!Today I have a super active healthy little boy 3yrs old and when we decided to have another baby it took only 3 months and I also have a 7 month old baby boy full of smiles and bubbles. Both pregnancies were normal and easy. Believe me I still think about the first pregnancy wondering what the sex was and how the baby would look. My dr told me that early miscarriages are mostly caused by early birth defect extra chrom. So I try to tell myself Im blessed and things happen for a reason.

Take care of yourself and don't beat yourself. There was nothing you did. I wish you all the best.

SAHM/zombie 40yrs 2 beautiful bright boys and a very supportive husband that has to travel for work a lot. I love the outdoors and being on the water.

I went through this many times before our son was finally born. Time helped. Talking helped. After I got the okay from my doctor, love making helped. Anything that gives you a little joy a comfort will help, from a lollipop to a getaway weekend. Give yourself whatever makes you feel even a tiny bit better. Ultimately, getting pregnant again helped me, especially when that new baby was laid in my arms.

L....I didn't have a D and C...but had a miscarriage...well many....it takes time, lots of time...and remember you are not the only woman that feels this way..it's kind of like a mourning everytime....all I can say is....take the time to cry, take the time to just chill out by yourself, but also keep yourself busy....too much time alone can slide you into depression....Also, let your hubby know that you love him.....he probably thinks that he cannot make you happy....let him know you'll get through this, it just takes time.

L.,

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I understand. The way that I helped myself move on was to create a memory book for my child that passed away. No matter what stage you were in your pregnancy, it is a huge loss. So you should acknowledge that. I named my baby,and had a private ceremony for him. I also didn't rush into having another one right away. It took me at least 8 months to grieve and I am still not done-but I have at least found acceptance with it. So it may take a while for you-- just let your feelings come as they do and don't judge yourself. Be kind to yourself and take care in doing what you love. You will get through it-

Molly

Hi L.,
I'm so sorry to hear about your d&c. I wish I had words of wisdom to help you move on, but having had 2 (my last one was the week before Christmas), it really is just a matter of time. It's so painful (I'm assuming you had a miscarriage) because of the loss, then the physical pain of the d&c, plus your hormones are completely messed up. It took me about 3 weeks to get to a point that I didn't cry any more and to feel human again. Maybe you could plan something really fun for yourself so you have something to look forward to. Best of luck, and please know you're not alone!

Hello L.,
I'm so sorry for you loss. I had a miscarriage last October and I understand what you're saying. I was fine with the whole thing at first and knew it was natures way of us not having an unhealthy baby. However, as the days past I started feeling really sad about it. I still have sad feelings when I see a new born or a pregnant person. I would like to give you advice, but I don't really have any. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and since this happened this time it's less likely to happen again.
Take care,
C.

Your body still has pregnancy hormones flying around - if you take a pregnancy test it will probably be +.
It takes at least one normal period to get you back in balance. Drink Rasperry Leaf Tea - tastes gross so I put it in with my favorite flavor tea to cover the taste.
I've been through 4 miscarriages and it took me 6 weeks to just stop bleeding.
Hang in there - D & C is traumatic - like a root canal. You can't expect to be back to normal right away.

i guess that all depends on the medical reson for the d & c, some of these resons can be very trying emotional ordeals that in some women and instances one never fully recovers from emotionally and can affect psychosomatic pain which though no real physical reason for the pain exists any longer, the discomfort is very real. if your medical reason for this procedure applies to the aforementioned, i would recommend seeing a therapist, or seeking out a support group, or if you are so inclined and find comfort in a church ar synagouge, they have people you could speak with as well. all of these options may help you in dealing with the psychological and emotional effects, which are very real, very debilitating, and very managable in time with outside help and support.
wish you well,
aline

You just suffered a loss. Like any loss it takes time to feel okay. Give yourself some time to grieve. I had a miscarriage six years ago. It took a while for me to come to terms with my loss. The best advice I got was to grieve my loss. I wish you the best!

Hello,
I feel for you. I have had two of these procedures in my life - one by choice as a young woman and one after a missed miscarriage. I would echo the same sentiment as the other posters. It affects each woman differently, but for me there was deffenately a mourning and grief period. After my first procedure I felt so guilty, and after the sencond one I felt so cheated because of the miscarriage. I had a therapist offer me the advice of finding a plant or some seeds and planting them as a symbol of returning the life energy that was once inside your body to the earth. Might sound hokey, but I still have my plant. Maybe it will work for you too.

I have had 3 d and c's from miscarriages. It is very emotional. Talking with a friend helps. Just remind yourself that things happen for a reason and that maybe the fetus was not healthy. You will have your baby. After several miscarriages, I made an appointment for a fertility consult and before I could make the appointment I ended up pregnant. This one I was able to carry full term. Don't give up, it will happen. I think I kept miscarrying was because of stress, so I quit online college and several months later I was pregnant.
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