Question for Parents Who Were Held Back for Kindergarden

My brother actually repeated Kindergarten. He really did not know the difference and since he "fit in" better with learning and maturity wise he excelled much more then he would have in his "original" class group. Looking back my brother was thankful for being held back and he was always a good kid, no rebelling.

To everyone I talked to I have never seen a bad long term effect on hold a child back when in preschool - 2nd even 3rd grade. They are still young enough that it really does not matter/effect them negatively. Holding them back after 4th grade I think will create more of an issue since being held back could seen by other kid as a negative thing and they already had a few years making friends in that class group. So holding back sooner rather then later is better.

My daughter's b-day is Aug 16th and when kindergarten comes I will be faced with the same decision but right now I think I will put her in when she just turns 5. She has actually already spent a week in preschool (even though she is only 2.5 years old) while I was painting a backdrop for the school's play. She was already leading and teaching the 3-4 year olds so she is seems very ready for school, but once kindergarten gets closer I will make that decision. Things might change.

Every child will be different so evaluate your child as best as you can, talk to his teacher(s) ask what they think and do not make a big deal about it when you tell your son (if you decide to hold him back). More then likely he will just think he is in another preschool class or different class. If you do not hold him back but at the end of kindergarten you think he might need to be held back that is still a good time to repeat kindergarten.

Best wishes in making your decision, whatever decision you make stand by it because then your child will see that this was done in his best interests (whether he is held back or going forward as is).

I didn't start "late" myself but my son (age 7) started school at age 4. He was in Montessori so there was not a big issue (mixed age and able to interact with younger children) but when he started traditional school, there were all kinds of problems and it was not academic. We also removed him from second grade to homeschool and will likely be sending him to private school, which recommended that he begin there in second grade rather than third. I believe this is more of a trend these days, particularly with boys. I mention all of this to say that I do wish we had known then what we now know. I believe he will be better off in 2nd grade at age 8. Also the Headmaster of the private school that recommended this asked us "when he's in high school would you rather have him be the oldest in a group or the youngest-particularly in social settings?" This spoke to us, our son is not a leader and is more impressionable. That really did it. A side note-my husband skipped 2nd grade (birthday in december so he was a little younger much not an entire year) and he said it was hard being the youngest and everything that goes along with that. We want to set our kids up to succeed! So I am a proponent of beginning later.

My birthday is August 20th I went to school at age6. I was always the oldest, no problems...

My daughter's birthday is August 29th. I sent her at age5 and still regret it to this day. Sure she was mature, social, with adults, she had 2 years of preschool but it didn't cut it. She was the youngest,shortest,most immature. She was constantly trying to catch up, fit in, etc. Was like this on sports teams too. My daughter is extrememly bright there wasn't a huge academic problem but there was maturity. It got worse every year. Finally in the middle of 2nd grade I said enough is enough... I switched her to a private school and put her back to first where she really belonged. She's only repeating half of first grade if you think about it. But I've already noticed so many wonderful changes. She fits in so much better, can be the leader she is, isn't always one step behind everybody anymore, she's more confident etc.

PLEASE donot send your child to kindergarten at age5 with a August birthday.

I wasn't held back but I started school when I was just 4 (with a late-September birthday). I did fine academically but looking back, I think I might have been better off waiting a year. I was always the youngest and felt pressured to "grow up" -- to like the same things, have the same interests as my classmates. I think an extra year would have leveled the playing field for me, so to speak.

I have a daughter whose birthday is in mid-October and we held her back a year. She will turn 11 at the beginning of her 5th grade year and I'm glad she's one of the oldest ones. I think it has helped her both academically and socially. As another post here said, I also feel it was the right decision when I look forward to her high school years and dealing with peer pressure and such. One year can make a big difference for a child.

Good luck making the best decision for your child. HTH!

I repeated Kindergarden because we moved in the middle of the year. I didn't have any problems growing up, most people didn't even know that I was a year older then they were. I had a lot of friends and didn't have any problems with being wild.
In this day and age with so many schools that have pre K I don't think being younger or old then your classmate is really a problem. I don't think if a child is going to rebel in his/her teens, they'll do it no matter when they started Kindergarden.

My brother has an August birthday and because he had some fine motor delays, speech delays and he missed a lot of K because of an eye operation, my parents had him repeat K. He was fine with it, never rebeled, was always a leader in his class (including student council). He was never bored and actually continued to really have to work hard to keep up. He would have been a mess if they had advanced him. He is a successful business man, currently working in Hong Kong for a major consulting firm.

My son has an August birthday and has some fine motor delays and some social difficulties but he is wicked smart so we decided to put him in K this past fall after his 5th birthday. He needed a lot of home support the first quarter but overall he is thriving. He is middle of the pack for writing and reading and in the top math group. He loves his friends, has made huge social strides, and loves going to school.

Every child is so different and only the parents know best. Once you make the decision, the most important part to their success is parental support. Observe your child at school, get to know the teacher by volunteering regularly. Learn how the teacher presents things and reinforce that at home. Finding the right environment is helpful too. For my son, a year round schedule has been fantastic. He gets shorter breaks spread throughout the school year. He is also in a class with 5 other summer birthday 5 year olds so he doesn't seem the smallest and the youngest.

Hi Cheri -

Love the question :) My birthday is September 6th, and my screening was the determining factor of whether or not I would go to school that year. The screener decided I was too shy (I guess I didn't answer any of the questions until my mom came back in the room :) and I was held back a year. Not only was I very shy, I was very small. I would've had a difficult time with peers in gradeschool (and maybe beyond) if I went to school right away. I was a rebel in high school, but I don't think it had much to do with that earlier decision :) My mom has told the kindergarten screening story a few times, but I think it's cute (since I'm pretty sure I turned out okay) and I don't resent anyone for that decision (September birthdays aren't even in question today, and my son is a September brithday too. I think he'll be better off for having the extra year to mature more socially and then later have a greater chance to be more successful). Good luck!

Cheri

I didnt read the responses so I apologize if I repeat something that was already said.
I teach 8th grade, and typically we find (expecially w/boys) that if they started Kindergarden young, they are sometimes less likely to be mature enough for the kids they are with in middle school.

There have been many times where we've brought up the fact that the child is just too young for their grade, but we have never had a problem w/the opposite (someone being older than the others). I definitely see more reasons to wait than to start him.

The only main problem would be if he were to be held back a grade after starting K later, that would make him almost 2 years older than his peers. But, it is rare for a student to be held back...

You already have some great responses and I think holding him back would be just fine. My brother has a july b-day and went to k twice as well (my parents sent him to public then private, knowing he would go twice from the get go). he is now a teacher himself and was talking about some studies in other countries where boys are starting school later than girls because they are just not developmentally ready as soon as girls are. He has no resentment and actually told my parents he is glad they held him back.

I have an October birthday and my parents back then had the option to start me in kindegarden before I was 5 or not. They chose to wait. They now beleive as I do that it was a big mistake for me. School came waaaaay to easy for me and wasn't a challenge at all.

I had friends that were a year younger and they weren't teased at all. I think it depends on the child and the school environment.

I think later is better in the long run. When I was in school my best friend was one of the oldest in our class. She was smart and to me--at the time lucky. She got her drivers license before anyone--which everyone was jealous. May soud stupid at the moment but when your that age it is a huge deal.

My husband has an early august bday and so he was always one of the youngest and he hated it everyone always made fun of hime and picked on him He didn't do as well as he could have or should have because he was constantly picked on.

My daughter was held back in kindergarten and it was the best thing we ever did she is in the top percentile of her class now in the 4th grade and it is much better to do it now than in th efuture when kids know the difference and will make fun of them I remember a kid in grade school 6th I think he was held back and never heard the end of it ended up changing schools to start fresh. If you have even a little question as to if they are ready hold them back it will be better in the long run we have lots of experience. She has tons of friends and confidence because she is the oldest and doing awesome