My son just turned 3, and we're still putting him to bed with a small bottle, and I hate that. I know at this point, it's more of a "safety" or "routine" thing for him than anything else. We got him pretty much weaned off it when he was 2, but then we spent most of the summer traveling and visiting family, and the only way to keep him quiet during bedtime and through the night was to give him the bottle. I know it was the "easy" way out at the time, but we just couldn't have him screaming all hours of the night with 5-10 other people in the house. We would sometimes just try to let him cry himself to sleep, hoping he'd wear himself out and then sleep better, but Gma. would give in and go get his bottle...
Then this fall, we had family come stay with us for a couple weeks, so we were in the same dilemma - can't have him screaming all hours of the night with them just in the next room. So we were up with him at least 1-2 times every night because he wakes up and wants more to drink, and will scream for literally hours until someone goes in there. Just this week, we've put him to bed with a bottle, and then not gone back in his room if he wakes up during the night - just let him cry it out. I haven't kept track of how long he cries, because I usually fall back asleep before that point. He'll go from, "I want more!" to "I need to go to potty" to "I need to get down!" and so on... We've been potty training him, but he still wears a nighttime diaper to bed, and even when we've gotten up with him to take him to the bathroom, he never does anything. He just wants someone to come get him, for whatever reason.
I'm so tired of this!!! We're awake with him (either getting up with him, or listening to him scream) EVERY SINGLE night. We have a pretty good bedtime routine, including brushing teeth, getting pj's on, reading a story, singing a song, etc., and he has his favorite Thomas toys he brings to bed with him (instead of a teddy/doll) but he HAS to have that bottle, or he throws a fit, jumps in his bed, and screams until he passes out hours later, or we give him the bottle. Does anyone have any suggestions?? Is the only option left just to let him cry/scream it out every night, until he gets used to it??
(Oh, and it doesn't matter what's in the bottle - milk, juice, water, whatever - he just wants it. And right now, he's still in a crib because we're afraid to put him in a "real" bed when he's waking up on his own every night. We'd love to be able to get him a "big boy" bed asap, if we can get this night-time thing down! haha)
In response to Sandy L. - Yes, but I don't necessarily want him to keep drinking water throughout the night (he always wants more when his small bottle runs out), or have a bottle that can leak into his bed (like a sports bottle can). I'd like to be able to send him to bed without any drinks at all, ultimately. That would make nighttime potty training a whole lot easier, I'm thinking. haha
Thank you all for the advice. However, I don't understand the use of sports bottles or cups w/ lids and straws - wouldn't that just leak all over the place? And yes, he's still in a crib, as I mentioned, because of this problem of him waking up. I just don't see how moving him to a real bed would help with him waking up during the night. And WE don't wake him up to take him potty! LOL! That's one thing he screams about when he wakes up at night, but he's never actually done anything in the toilet if/when we get up with him. I've started ignoring that he he's screaming it... Also, I don't think he quite gets the concept of days/weeks and how long that is exactly. He just turned 3. But I see what you mean about setting a deadline. I think he'd understand "tomorrow" or '"tonight," but not necessarily "5 days from now." My older son, now 6, didn't have any problems with bedtime/sleep habits, but we did have an awful time potty training him, so I know what to look forward to regarding that. He was almost 4 1/2. LOL!
But I do like the idea of having a special "bedtime" sippy cup with milk for him to drink right before bed (as we're getting dressed, reading stories, etc.), and then just try to lay him down without the bottle... We'll see. :)
Only water in it for a few weeks then switch it to a spill proof sip/sports bottle the SAME day you PITCH every bottle in the house'
No caving!
No moving backwards!
Getting rid of bottles is NOT for sissies! Lol
Good luck!
It's a hard habit to break so you are gonna just have to bear it and let him cry. Sorry if it sounds harsh but if you keep giving it too him it's only going to get harder the older he gets. Go in there and rub his back and talk to him softly, no picking him up at all and don't cave in to the bottle either. It will get easier as the week goes on, promise!!
S.
He screams, because he knows you'll eventually give in.
Take t away, and never let it be an option. He will have some rough nights. for sure. However, you created this situation, so you have to deal with it. Sorry.
Well - it isn't going to be easy. :) But you already know the answer, you listed it in your question above. You have to go cold turkey and just say no. Is he going to scream? Yes. Is he going to wake up in the middle of the night and scream again? Yes. Will you give in? No.
Do you have to be mean? No. Can you find a way to make it easier? Sure - people use the "pacifier" fairy all the time and the pacifiers go in the mailbox (or where ever) for the fairy to come and take to give to babies. Bottles are for little kids, it's time for the bottle fairy to come and take them. Maybe she'll leave him a big boy toy in place of them? That might make the initial part of the process a bit easier.
I agree - tackle this get it over with before switching to another bed. See if you can introduce something else (a blanket, a lovey, or a favorite toy) but it probably won't "take" right away. Just keep offering.
Find a time (preferably sooner - not during the holidays) and just do it.
You will all survive. See if your husband can help you out, make it a long weekend if you can so you can all rest and not have to go to work.
Good luck!
Oh, my goodness. This won't be hard to stop if you want it stopped but you will have some nights of crying and fit throwing because he's in charge now. You will have to tell him he's 3 now and no more bottles and that he can have a drink before bedtime and that's it. If you give him anything in bed ( sippy cup or sports cup or whatever ) you will be up filling it when it runs out. I know from experience. So stop it now, and be firm and it will take maybe a few nights to a week and then done. You need sleep and he needs sleep. I would ask your doctor about the passing out but it's a form of controlling you. It needs stopped. When he passes out he will not stay out but check with your doctor on how to handle it in his opinion. Be firm and no giving in. If you do you're farther behind when you start up again.
My 2 grandchildren took a sippy cup of water to bed with them until they were 5 or so. Even after they stopped drinking from it to go to sleep they would find it during the night and drink without waking up. They gradually, on their own, stopped needing/wanting it.
I sometimes keep a glass of water by my bed. I don't see having a sippy cup is any different from this.
A sippy cup of water at night should be fine, right?
Well, first of all, milk or juice is going to rot his teeth. No more of that, whatever you do. And bottles at this age are just not necessary - ever. So if you must give him something, give him a sippy cup with water.
I really think that this is all about using something as an excuse to be up. He cannot soothe himself and wants you to do it for him. He uses the bottle as a crutch. He makes you come to him because you allow it.
If you really want to stop this, then tell him that what is in the sippy cup has to last all night. Nothing more. Tell him that if he wakes up, sip a little on the cup and go back to sleep. Tell him NO potty.
You have to break the cycle. You've allowed the cycle by being inconsistent with the crying. First you let him cry, and then you cave in and go into him. This will NEVER teach him to self-soothe.
So, take a chair into his room and set it in the middle of the room. Turn it toward the door. If he starts his crying, go in and tell him no more water, go to sleep. Say no to potty. Sit down in the chair and don't talk. Don't look at him, don't move. Ignore him. No matter WHAT he does. He will finally get bored/tired and will calm down and finally go to sleep. When he does, go back to bed. Do it every night until he is much easier about his crying and isn't screaming for more water. Once you reach that part, start putting less water in the cup at the outset. Over the weeks, get down to just an ounce or so in the cup. At some point, he will stop waking for that little bit of water.
Don't try to night train until he's around 4. While he's drinking in the middle of the night, you can't night train him anyway. He needs to actually be waking up in the morning with dry diapers once in a while for you to even begin night training.
You must be 100% consistent with not giving into him. If you have an easy chair that's comfortable, I'd put it in the room and come in with your pillow. That will help the first week when he's being over-the-moon awful. If you do this just like I'm describing, in a few weeks there will be no more water in the sippy, no more screaming and crying, and after that, no more sippy and no more waking. If you cave in AT ALL and give him more water, let him out of the crib to the toilet, ANYTHING, you will just teach him that more of this will manipulate and control YOU.
Be the parent. That means not allowing him to dictate to you - it's the other way around, J..
Sending you strength and perserverence.
Dawn
We had a similar problem with our first born. If yours takes water then great. Mine only wanted milk and she was almost 3. In the end what we decided is that her screams and cries for more milk did not compare to the screams and cries and despair we would hear if:
1. we stunted her growth or made her anemic with too much milk (a very real potential after age 2)
or
2. we had to taker her to the dentist to get shots and cavities filled from tooth rot.
We reasoned with her and tapered her dose by one or two ounces per week until we just plain took it away. I measured her screams and cries against her imagined screams and cries in the dentist chair or as a 5'-1" sixteen year old. Yes she complained, yes it was hard. But not compared to very real worst case scenarios.
Is he in a bed or crib? If he's still in a crib move him to a bed. If he's in a bed then consider teaching him to take himself to the bathroom. He can come wake you up, but he has to get out of bed and not scream for attention.
I don't see anything wrong with giving him water before bed...but not a baby bottle. Have him pick out a sports type bottle and keep it in his room. Both my kids do this b/c sometimes they really do get thirsty...plus it puts a stop to the stalling before bed of I'm thirsty!
I pretty much do think you're only option left is a horrible tantrum. I would talk to him about it and set a date for like a week or so. Tell him that on that day you're going to take away the bottle and stop coming in. In the meantime let him pick out a new water bottle from the store that will be his special replacement night time bottle. I only let my kids use theirs for bedroom use. Each day leading up to the big day remind him that he only has X number of days left.
The hardest part is going to be to actually do what you say you're going to do! For all of your sakes you're going to have to be consistent and true to your word. Good luck!
So give him water in a bottle (Try a sports type water bottle) My son always wants a water bottle next to him at night.
Don't despair. It will work out. Trust me.
I was was in the same boat. Take a deep breath.
My son did not suck his thumb, he was attached to his bottle.
It was a form of comfort.
So what we did was tell him we couldn't find his bottles (we kept them in a
box in the cabinet away from his eyes), told him it would be okay though
because he would have his milk in a sippy cup. The first night was the
worst. He cried like we gave away his pet or best friend. He was
mourning it (totally normal). We gave him milk in a sippy cup or cup w/
a straw (the kind like they give you at a restaurant for the kid's meals).
It worked. The first night was the hardest because he actually mourned
the loss of his bottle.
The next night was a bit easier. And the next.
Never give the bottle for him to have in his crib or bed in case he falls
alseep w/it in his mouth.
Let him have milk before bed. We even tried having a little bit of chocolate milk (milk w/a tiny bit of choc syrup added).
It took a few days but it does work.
We let him have milk in his cup before bed for a long time.
We made sure to brush his teeth afterwards.
You can give him juice (w/a teeny bit of water added to dilute) in these
same cups. We kept water by his bed in a sippy cup in case he got
thirsty at night.
We have my son pee before going to bed. Sometimes he would be cranky & tired but we'd try to get him to pee in the toilet. Then we would put him in a nighttime diaper.
Boys mature slower than girls hence girls are ready before boys.
Make sure he eats something close to bedtime to curb hunger pains.
Then get him to brush his teeth best as you can.
Hang in there. it gets easier. When he cries at night, go into him & soothe him. Tell him there isn't any milk in a bottle because the fairy took it because he's such a big boy. He gets big boy things like toys at Christmas etc.
Again, make sure he isn't going to bed hungry. He could be crying because the milk bottle before bed curbed his hunger. he could be hungry.
Don't forget the night time diapers for overnight and I wouldn't wake him up at night to pee. I just dealt w/a a bit of an accident the next morning.
pm me if you have any other questions. Hang in there. You're on the home stretch. :)
My first child (my son) also really really loved his bottle. The best thing to do is to go cold turkey. We talked to our son a lot before hand telling him how now he is getting too big for bottles at bedtime (or bottles in general!) and that it was almost time to give all the bottles to a baby. When the day came he helped me gather them up and we drove to a friend's house with a baby and gave them all away. We had no bottle in the house so I could not give in. He was very proud that day and was fine with it and then of course that night he was a wreck. It took him a few days to a week of being pretty unhappy and having a hard time sleeping and then he was just fine. You just have to brace yourself and do it. Be strong! You can do it. :)
Here's the thing. Milk is milk is milk. It does NOT matter what it comes out of. And if you're putting water in it then I don't see any real issues. If he needs to suck then he's going to suck something, I'd rather it be a bottle instead of a thumb or finger.
I understand your dilemma. Our grandson stayed on the bottle at bedtime until he was around 2 1/2. he handed it to me one day and asked for a tippy cup. So the bottles went in the cabinet just in case. No issues no crying no fighting.
I don't think it's a huge deal if he's still taking a bottle and you should just do the best you can. If you want him off then you have to deal with the consequences of that choice. That is the hours of screaming and crying. Start bedtime at 6pm so that he will have cried himself to sleep by at least a decent hour...lol.
As for the night time waking up, he is still going to do that. Plus he's probably really uncomfortable in a bed that was made to only hold an infant. Baby beds are not for pre-school aged children. He is big enough to climb out if he really wants out so move him to a full size kid bed, he's too old and too big for a toddler bed too, those are for toddlers that are aged 12 months up to age 2 years. He's way to old for one now.
As for potty training, kids are not supposed to wake up to go pee during the night. They are supposed to go to bed and sleep all night, wake up in the morning and go pee, like normal adults. They are not supposed to wake up.
When he's awake he's holding his urine, when he's asleep his urine is constantly coming out. Once he wakes up he stops it because he feels the pee. His brain has not turned on the chemical that gets sent from the brain to the kidneys to turn off urine production. Until that chemical gets sent at night there is literally nothing you can do to make him stay dry. He is not in control of this, his brain has not turned on the chemical needed to stop this action. So put him in overnight pull ups and let it go. Don't even limit drinks because this has NOTHING to do with his urine production. If he's fuller and feels the urine from drinking fluids in the evening then he might wake up and actually go to the bathroom.
I am in the same boat! Mine is 3.5 and still gets a bottle of milk. He's my 3rd so I've been lazy about dealing with it but I know he needs to stop. With my DD when she was 3 she was super addicted to her pacis. We did the paci fairy and it worked like a charm! I have been talking to my 3 year old about the milky fairy that comes and take the bottles and gives them to all the babies. He is big now and does not need them anymore. The milky fairy will leave a present though. He said "But no, then I might be sad" in this super cute sad voice. Ahhh I'm a sucker for my last baby.
I am going to use the milky fairy though. We will just keep talking about it. I have never done the hard way with any of the issues and it's worked really well. No cry it out etc...
I don't see anything wrong with giving him a sippy cup of water. Get him one that he can open and close on his own by flipping up the straw. I'd let him know though, that when he drinks it all that's all there is, and I wouldn't fill it all the way up. A few sips is all he should really need to get through the night.
I would not be giving him milk or juice! I had a little gils in my daycare that was giving a bottle o milk a night for too long and she had root rot. She needed all kinds of dental work... it was sad to me because it was entirely preventable.
I would break him of the habit of needing someone to come in and I would do that quickly unless you want your 7 year old coming in every night wanting to cuddle.
And lastly, don't worry about the night time pottying. That comes with age and physical maturity. He'll night train when he's ready and although some kids do it as early as 3, most don't. Keep him in his night time diaper til he gets a little older, and starts waking up dry.
Good luck~
Have you considered talking with him about being a big boy now? You can make a big deal about it and even take him shopping for a big boy bed. Explain that big boys get cool sheets and pillows and don't sleep in cribs. He will even get a big boy cup of water next to his bed in case he gets thirsty. Open cups take longer to drink from and most little ones don't drink all of it quickly. Don't forget to let him know that babies drink from bottles. He could even "pay" for his new bed or special stuffed animal at the store with a bag of his bottles. I know several people who have done this with bottles and pacifiers. The cashiers catch on quickly and have been happy to help. If you make both changes at once it will be less changes overall. Also, if you don't have bottles in the house can't give in.
