If you are a public school teacher...what are your thoughts on those parents who communicate with you via e-mail.
I have a kindergartener who has busy active personality, who can tend to get angry if things don't go his way. We have him in counseling, and she wants to see how he can learn before she thinks he is ADD or ADHD. Some of it she said is he is a boy who is very active. The highest spectrum of a typical boy, who does not need a diagnosis.
I have been very nervous about him going to school. My pediatrician said to let him go to school, and not feed the teacher with any clues to watch for. He very may be the perfect child with the school environment.
So my question is it irritating to hear from parents? How often do you care to hear from the parents??
Thanks for your input. Kind of helped me gage where I need to be with emails. I have shared my concern with him, and wanted to have the door open for communication. Today i told her about his after school schedule until the after school program is in place. She said she would help remind the bus driver. They had misplaced a kindergartener yesterday. He was roaming the halls. So no buses could leave, making us worry when the buses came home so late. So I wanted to make sure they knew. She replied with gratitude.
Don't prejudice the teacher. Many kids in my k class did fine.
I would not mind weekly, unless it is petty and ridiculous stuff like "He wanted to be line leader and you picked someone else."
As a previous elementary teacher my thoughts are this:
1. Only tell me things that work for your child if it really matters at the beginning of the school year. (ex: My child learns best when eye contact is made. OR My child may need more than one cue often. OR My child has an IEP for speech. OR My child has hearing difficulties and needs you to speak loudly.)
2. Email is awesome (in my opinion). Email as often as YOU think is necessary. If it is urgent, let me know immediately. If you need to call or catch me in the classroom, know that I can only talk for a split second and may need time to process what you are saying if a solution is needed. At the beginning and end of school each day, I have a ton of things going on and have children coming and going in all directions that I have to keep secure and safe. That is not the best time to talk to me. Writing a note for the top of the morning and handing it to me with a comment, "This is important and when you get a chance, please read it." will help both of us.
After I've had your kiddo for several weeks (5-6) approach me about your concerns about ADD/ADHD by scheduling time to sit down via email. Let me know what you'd like to discuss beforehand so I can really think about it.
I'd rather hear from every parent every day than no one all year. Yes, it is a lot, but that is the job.
Best of luck with your little wild man. :)
Updated
Only thing I have to add is no one but a medical doctor can 'diagnose' any child with ADD/ADHD. She should not really even discuss the possibilities of it with you, unless YOU asked her opinion. Even then, she should say she's not in a position to be handing out medical dxs.
Please have him evaluated by a developmental ped or a child psychologist if you have concerns. You can ask your reg ped for a referral.
Meanwhile, let him show up at school with no preconceived opinions, and see how it goes.
:)
Just my opinion as a parent...
I would not offer any upfront information to the teacher unless there is some type of safety concern. You'll find that your child's behavior in school can be very different than his behavior at home.
Teachers do like to hear from parents. Altough, not all, many do like the form of e-mail because they can easily fit it into their hetic schedules.
I would also recommend setting up a conference shortly after the 2nd week of school.
I taught for 13 years and email was my preferred form of communication honestly. I only had certain times of the day to get to a phone whereas with the computer right in the classroom I could shoot off an email quickly and quietly. It did not bother me at all if a parent contacted me often this way. I always encouraged parents to stay involved on a consistent basis because a good relationship between parent, teacher and student is likely to form. That is the key to a student's ultimate success in school. Good luck and try not to worry too much about this. Teachers see a lot of ADD and ADHD behaviors in the classroom these days and have tools and resources to help aid these students to help them as much as possible. Hope this helps!
A.
I had a parent come in a tell us her child's horrible past and issues with teachers, etc etc etc
He was a perfect student..."yes, ma'am...no ma'am"...I would have had NO idea he had any issues.
Last year my son's teacher in kinder wanted a full description of any issues our child had...I wrote an essay on problems he had in pre-school. at the first teacher conference she told me she didn't have any idea about what I was writing about...he never showed any of those behaviors to her. He went on to have perfect behavior all year.
I'm no teacher but experience over the last 20 years of having children in school is that teachers want communication and would rather hear too much than not enough. Email is great for teachers.
No, you do not want to tell the teacher anything. Let her find out on her own IF there's any problems. You don't want a bias opinion and have your son judged before he has a chance to prove himself. I have a son age 24 who is/was ADHD and ODD (oppositional difiance disorder). I have a son who is 16 and is mild ADD. I have a son who is 6 about to turn 7 in October who is diagnosed with ADHD and not yet fully diagnosed for other aspects going on, and we know there are. We were always told by doctors through the years not to disclose to the teacher anything and to let them see what they see with a clear picture on their own. If they call and tell you there's been problems, then disclose. We made the mistake a couple times disclosing before hand, or they found out before hand, and it made matters worse. Last year my son's kindergarten teacher was upset with me for not disclosing to her ahead of time and couldn't believe that a doctor would suggest holding that information back. I told her I'd been at this for many years and with 3 of my 5 children and this is the best way. She was not happy. And after she found out, she treated him different even though she said if she knew in advance she could have helped him earlier. Nope. She made matters worse by labeling him. He suddenly was the bad boy and it was not fair. The things she described were things that he just needed a couple weeks to adjust coming into a new school in the middle of the school year. Sure enough, after a couple weeks he leveled out and was fine. Didn't have anymore behavior problems with him after that, but still assume before things would come up that she'd have problems with Jacob, like a field trip. Never did and I'd ask her specifically and she'd tell me he was fine and then I'd remind her that he just needed those first couple weeks to adjust.
Anyway, don't worry about school. Usually kids will act better at school than they will at home. Different atmosphere and they know they can push Mom and will still be loved. KWIM? Don't disclose to the teacher until you have to. If there is a behavior problem work together to come up with solutions. The teacher/parent/student triangle is very important when they all work together. If one link breaks then there will be problems. Keep in touch and expect the same from the teacher. You can't help her with his behavior in the classroom if you don't know what's going on. If things have been going on for weeks and you haven't been notified until things get really bad be sure to throw a fit and call in the school counselor for help on a better plan to get your child on track. Again, this is IF a problem arises. Give him a couple weeks to adjust to the new changes and talk to him positively about school and rules and what not. Go over the classroom rules when they're brought home and explain what each means by giving examples. Don't just assume he knows what each thing means.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
I love communicating through email. It's easy for me...I can do it in my own time without making appointments. Last year I emailed one of my parents on a daily basis to discuss behavior issues with her son. It all depends on the teacher. I would just ask your son's teacher about it to see if she's comfortable with it. Good luck with your son! BTW...it's not a bad idea to feed your teacher's brain with all these "negative" things about your son's behavior, but at the same time....don't act like you don't know anything if your teacher asks. Just be supportive of your teacher in what she needs from you and your family. :)
Email is easy and quick. Not all teachers have access to a phone all day, but the computer is right there in their room.
Do not bombard her with emails. Give your son & his new teacher time to adjust.
I teach middle school, so contact from parents is different. Unless you sense things have gone terribly horrible, I'd say touching base every few days would be good. She will let you know if there is a major problem.
I'm a parent of a kindergartener. His teachers and I communicate by email as well as face to face and via his school diary. I think they like it, and it's quick and convenient.
Email is by far the easiest way for me to communicate. I can respond to a parent quickly, where by phone I don't always have the time to call a parent back. I know that sounds bad, but I have 2.5 year old twins and a newborn, so I get to work later than most and have to leave right away so my husband can get to work on time. But, with email I can easily answer any parent concerns. About once a week is fine in my book, unless major issues arise. Most parents, though, only email once every couple of weeks, if that. Do what's best for your child and you can't go wrong!
