I keep getting an error message when I try to leave my comment, so I decided to throw it to the forum. It will be interesting to hear what other mamas have to say, particularly those that live in larger cities or in busy areas of smaller cities.
Patricia was talking about how much her kids love the freedom they have in camp and also remembering how much more freedom she and her husband had as kids. It's a lovely article with lots of great things to think about, so if you haven't had a chance to read it yet, click on today's digest & read it when you can. Hopefully whatever is preventing the system from allowing comments will be cleared up soon. Anyway, here's my response, which includes a question & I'd love to hear others' thoughts:
I wish sleep-away camp was more affordable! Or, maybe I should wish I had more money. But then I'd have to work more hours & I'm so used to doing without in exchange for being a SAHM who works ____@____.com the real issue, for me, is independence and how to foster that in a busy city? I was just starting to ease up and get ready to allow some roaming freedom, based on my child's age and height (safer for crossing streets). I have to admit the recent tragic events involving children we've been hearing about give me pause. There are lots of practical things we can teach our kids in case of unexpected dangers, but then we have to have the faith that they'll really act wisely.
I do of course realize that the only way to get good at something is to do it. We just happen live terribly close to some VERY large streets which present a myriad of dangerous possibilities. I need to do some more thinking about this. I'm curious to know what age other city mamas feel is appropriate for free-roaming on the streets.
You should look into summer camp scholarship programs. Years ago, my niece went to a sleep-away camp through our local Y and it was quite inexpensive due to my brother's lack of income at the time.
Depends on the child and their maturity. I grew up in queens, NY, and took the subway by myself at 11 y.o. We were allowed to go to the local park, and walked to school by ourselves at 8 or 9. You see less of that now adays. I do see groups of kids on bikes unescorted, and jr. high school aged kids on the subway and out and about.
I too live off of a busy street so I always worrry. But, really we just started letting our 10 year old daughter (11 in Jan) go to friends houses that are in the neighborhood, nothing far and only 2 of the 3 local kids require crossing the street. It's been since about March-April since we've allowed this. I still freak out and she is only allowed to go from point a to point b and MUST call me when she arrives. She has ridden or walked up to the local DQ, Hamburger joint, corner store, etc with friend and either her older sibling (16) or her friends.
I like the article also. Growing up, we had a lot of freedom but it was still handed out, not just lavished upon us. We were, afterall, pretty close to a big city with big city problems (Houston)....but the suburbs were fun. I remember in the summertime we'd leave the house on bikes, ride to gather up other friends, play in vacant lots, ride the neighborhood, play at the park, swim allllll day long at the neighborhood pool (you had to take a swim competency test, and there were lifeguards), ride to the school track to play on the playground there and run "a quick mile", roam around in the undeveloped bits of land that we called the woods, and ride our bikes up and down the bayou slope. We had a great time. Funnily enough, our houses were always locked. It took some work to figure out where to go to the bathroom......looking back on it now, we figured out we were all locked out during Young & the Restless (and I'm sure the moms were trying to keep us from coming in and out with Houston heat and humidity. I went to a few sleep away camps: with the church a couple times, and once for a week long softball camp at TX A&M. They were awesome!!! I loved it so much. You're right about the freedom! Do I want to go ride horses, canoe, or sit in the woods to draw this morning? Shall I read a book or try my hand at archery or pottery this afternoon? Wow! And then there were the pranks we learned to pull on each other, the interesting people we've never met before (though I didn't really stay in touch with people, I did enjoy them while we were there), and the lessons taught at the camps during assembly times. But would I put my sons in it? Hmm. Yes.......when they're old enough for me to know they could handle themselves. I moved away from the DFW Metroplex that Patricia mentioned 10 months ago (and yes, I remember the Amber Alert being put into effect, and why)...and am all for it! I miss the metroplex and all the OPTIONS it had for us! SO MANY OPTIONS. Kind of mind blowing, now that I've seen what "normal" life is like outside of DFW. But yeah.....I loved my youth and the fun and freedom. But I also want to protect my children from harm or people who could pose as "good guys" and not be. Now, the struggle is to find balance. I don't want to be the neighbors across the street that let their 3 year old play in the front yard unchaperoned (because that 3 year old walks into the street to go see something that catches his eye, chases a ball without looking for cars first (I know, I've been the car that had to come to a screeching stop on more than one occasion), and no, he does not stay in his yard). But I don't want my sons to miss out on discovery and adventure! There IS a difference between how children relate to each other now at playgrounds vs how they met and quickly became friends to play "back in the day" when sandlot baseball games and pick up games of "whatever" were the norm. Now it seems children need to be introduced and ease into some game because everything is coached (baseball LEAGUE now, not in the vacant lot....divided by age groups, not the big 10 year olds keeping an eye on--and making concessions for--the little 5 year old siblings, etc). When my son is 10, I'd love for him to go to a sleep away camp if he finds one that interests him. I'll do loads of research and all that (volunteer so that I can know the employees, at least the first year???) but after that, go for it big guy! And mission trips: YES, I wouldn't have a problem with that at all, if with the right group. I want my guys to be able to explore, figure out what they want to do that day, and experience some freedom. Life shouldn't be all structure. And that comes from quite a structured mom. :)
I couldn't leave a comment on it either - it was a timely article for me b/c one of my 9YO's is going to sleep-away camp for the first time this Sunday!
I'm a bit at a loss as to how to foster independence in a busy city- we moved to a quieter suburb before our kids started K so I'm curious what others will have to say about this topic.
