Preparing for Preschool

Try play groups. Maybe make a friend, go to their house and visit and vica versa. Once comfortable, try leaving him with the other parent for a few hours and then you return the favor and watch her child for her. Or you can try a mom's day out program. Usually offered by a local church and it's usually about 3 hours once a week. Once he is in preschool, I found the best method is to just drop them off at the car line. What a world of difference than when you walk them to class. It's so much harder on them and you! I think it's easier because they are touching you. The teacher opens the door and takes them out. You can always call the school and check on him to make you feel better. It will be a difficult transition for both of you regardless, but with in the 1st month all should be well. Good luck!!!

My son used to be the same way, and he still is hesitant with who I leave him with. In a way though, I am kind of glad about that because I don't want him to just go with anyone. I started him in preschool at age 3 as well, and before he went we went to the park a lot and I tried not to interact with him as much as I was used to and tried to tell him to play with other kids and let him go a little bit. We also went to his preschool about a month before he started at least once a week to visit with me staying there. I started off just dropping him off half a day and then went to all day. My son just needed a gradual introduction and I think he needed to knokw that I trusted them as well. So he's been in preschool about a month and a half now and he is doing sooo awesome.
Don't get me wrong...he did cry EVERY morning the first 2 or so weeks, but it's so worth it when I see how great he is doing!

I think exposure is the key. My son is an only child, almost 2, and has been going to Gymboree since he was about 18 mos. He does "play" and "art" 2 days/wk @ 1 hr each, and sometimes "open play," which is unstructured with no teacher. I wish I had started sooner. He has really blossomed socially. He was not as shy, perhaps as you have described your son, but definitely reticent. There is a ~2 yr old boy in his play group, however that is as you described your son, maybe worse. He would cry throughout nearly every class. His grandmother brought him and she was very kind and gentle, never pushy with him. He is like a different kid now. I still wouldn't describe him as overly gregarious, but he is enjoying his classess, happy, and playing like majority of the other kids. This is just a guess, but I think a MAJOR factor may have been the fact that his grandmother was very friendly and talkative with the other moms and caregivers. I am sure he picked up on her calm and over time just realized this was his normal routine and not only safe and OK, but fun.

So at the risk of reading too much into your post, I wouldn't underestimate the power of any emotions you may be projecting. Does a little voice crop up around strangers that says "Uh oh, he's going to freak out I better get him out of here"? Do his reactions cause any anxiety or self consciousness on your part?. We all want our kids to be happy functioning people so it can be a little embarrassing, if we let it. Only the problem is, he will pick up on emotions like these, and it will make the situation worse.

I am inherently shy so I know it can be tough, but I would encourage you to put yourself out there, align yourself with other moms, and model the behaviour you would like to see in your son (being relaxed, talkative, joking around, etc.) With routine, and exposure to other children and their (understanding) mothers, he should come around. He may never become OVERLY friendly, but at the very least he should be comfortable in the situation.

Also, although I don't necessarily advocate Gymboree specifically, this or something similar, might be a good prep for him...a "pre pre-school"! They introduce structure and routine, have teachers, and are fun, interactive, and low-key, expectation-wise....Unfortunately, they cost money ;)
A play group would be very good as well. It may not have the same level of structure, but it would get him into a routine and get him exposed to other kids.

I think you will be surprised the difference a year can make. Best of luck to you and your little boy!

K.

PS...It's entirely possible I have misread your situation. You may be the life of the party for all I know!..LOL..
I do apologize if so.

Hi J.,

There is nothing wrong with your son being shy around strangers. He is vulnerable to them. You are the only protection he has known and we all want to feel safe.(I have friends whose kids are overly friendly and the parents are terrified they will get in a car with a stranger.)

Once you are satisfied with who you want to care for him, go with him. Stay with him. If you trust this to be a safe place, let him see that. Introduce him and don't leave him until you and he are comfortable. This is perfectly natural and I think safe.

Remember, if you are uncomfortable, he will be too!

Regards,

M.

My youngest is 5 now, but I was a very active member of a MOPS group up in NJ and then again down here in Florida when we moved. MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. They are great group of moms who get together and socialize amongst themselves and bond and create friendships, while the children are cared for in another room. What is nice about this is that moms get some time for themselves while not being far from their little ones. Nursing moms can nurse and bring the baby back. The children start to gradually learn how to wean away from mommy, all the while knowing mommy is right there in the next room. You can look up MOPS online and search for one near you. It could turn out to be lots of fun for both of you. God bless.

Check out the Mommy and Me group that meets at Family Fundamentals on Lakeland Hills Boulevard - in the LVIM building - right on the corner with Memorial Blvd.

I brought my daughter there from she was young, and she and I made firm and fast friends - I highly recommend it as a socialization opportunity, for you and your son.

ETA - this will only make sense if you're in the Lakeland area - I've not used this site in a long time and wrongly assumed I was in local, Lakeland pages :)

To help with the stranger anxiety, try joining a local playgroup, or start one for your neighborhood...:) Yahoo! Groups and meetup.com are both good places to take a look...

Since you have a year, he may come out of his shell, and do great with preK...and if you find in a year that its still going to be hard on him, you can start off slow...maybe only a few hours, or just a day or two and work up from there...you may be able to stay for a little bit in the morning, so that he knows your there and that this is a safe place to be...or you may want to try the drop off, tell them you love them and will be back, and then leave...most kids will cry until they see you go, and then they are fine...

In alot of cases,not all, its harder on us than it is on them...