Pregnant Mom of Two Needs Help in Management

Hey S.. Check out www.flylady.net. It's put together by a lady named Marla Cilley. You might also check out her book, entitled "Sink Reflections". It lays out a plan to organize your life so you have more time for life! The book is a quick read and it is easy to understand. I personally feel like the website makes more sense if you've looked at the book first, but if you can't get the book, it is all on the website.

You can do it!

M. G

Email me at ____@____.com and we can go over some management issues. I have a 4 year old a 2 year old and a 10 month old so I know what you are talking about. I was working at the Kansas Juvenile Corrections Complex as a Juvenile Corrections Officer but I am about to go to law school so I know how busy things can get. The palm pilot is the best thing that you could have gotten for yourself. The most important thing you can do is schedule individual time with your children and stick to it. Put them all on schedules to fit around your schedule and things should not get so caotic. For the new baby that is coming, it is crucial that you put them on a feeding schedule so that you won't have to worry about when the baby will eat and sleep. Things can still work clock work for you but it is up to you to manage it. I will help you. I would consider cutting back on some hours though for the health of you and your new one coming. Just until you have the baby so that you will not have any complications. Discuss this with your doctor. Good Luck

I can't say I really have my hands wrapped around this myself but I wanted to share something that a local college did and thought perhaps it would help you...maybe post a sign or something or approach the Dean/professor.

Anyway, they had offered (mainly to girls) the opportunity for a homecooked meal in exchange for the ability for them to do their laundry in your home. It gave them the opportunity to see how another family functions, give them some companionship while they are away from home, and further insight of what being a parent is REALLY like. From what I heard from other moms, it often turned into a very lucrative deal for them as the girls were willing to babysit or even help pick up around the house...just something to consider.

My sister-n-law has a 4yr old and a 2 yr old as well and she uses mothers day out at a local church once or twice a week so that she can get other things done. They usually arent as expensive as daycare I hear but it will let them have a chance to play while you can get things done you feel you need to do..plus you can get some much needed mommy time as well. God bless.

Hi,S.!!I know what you are going through.I am a married mom of 7[6 girls,1 little boy..22-3]and a grandma of 3!!I struggle with all of what you do and the thing that always gets me through is a lot of prayer and learning to just breathe!By that i mean,take 5-10 minutes out of everyday for just you.I know it is hard because i used to stress about anything and all things, but i found that just taking a few minutes to myself[whether it is when the kids are napping]or just driving to work,i just sit for a few minutes and just take deep breaths and for me i pray but you could just get a pop,snack..whatever you like and don't feel guilty doing so!!You've earned it.My husband used to work 3 jobs a few years ago and i was left with ALL 7 to take care of by myself and thats what i had to learn to do was me time!!I felt so guilty by taking the time away from the kids but if you don't it makes for one grouchy,tired mom and thats worse for the kids!!I hope this helps you.I still struggle with it at times because we have a 6 yr old with many heart problems and that can be very demanding,but i find that just those few minutes to myself helps me deal with the kids.Good luck with the new one and God Bless..L. S

What about on the house work front picking certian days that you only work on that, whether it be laundry or clean the bathroom. Have the 4yr old help out, make it their job to pick up the toys. make a game out of it, the 2 yr old could probably help too. I also try to make sure the dishwasher, is ready to run before I go to bed then it's done and ready for me to unload ( more my 12yr old) while breakfast is cooking. Good Luck. I'm not if my advice is helpful or not, both my kids are older and can do their part in helping, it's so nice.

I decided to write you what I do and I will tell you that by doing the things below I feel like I spend a ton more time just being mom and wife. Basically its simple I just do most of the cleaning while my kids are doing something else. When I cook dinner my kids each have jobs and feel like they are really helping to prepare the meal. I clean up right after dinner and then spend the rest of my evening with my kids and my husband. Good luck and remember no mother ever heard her kids complain about a mess before they complained about there time with them.

Kitchen:
if you have a dishwasher load it and run it at night that way when you wake up in the morning they are already done, then while the kids are eating you can empty it and start refilling it with the days dishes, sweep up and if you don't have a swiffer wet or wet jet invest in one that is the best thing I own for cleaning! wipe down the counters and table and your kitchen is cleaned before the kids are done it takes me about 10 minutes

Living room:

If your kids keep toys in the living room have them pick them up and put them away while you are vacuuming or tidying up. Make sock puppets for each of them and have them use their " dust eaters to dust lower things for you. 5-10 minutes

Bathroom:

while the kids are in the tub, tell them a story while you are sweeping or wiping down the sink and cleaning the toilet. Get the mr clean shower cleaner and you will never have to clean your tub( that is a dreadful job anyways! ) 5 minutes

Bedrooms:

the kids'room make a game out of it, whoever can get the most toys in the toy box first wins and gets a sticker have them help with the beds and run the vacuum once or twice a week 10 minutes tops

Laundry: laundry is my enemy I loathe laundry but sadly I have not figured out how I can get out of it just yet. I used to spend an entire day doing laundry but now I do one load every other day. I leave the lid up on the washer and everyone just puts their dirty clothes in there instead of a hamper and when it is full I add the soap and turn it on I never realized how much of my time was devoted to laundry until I started doing this.

Hi S.,

I totally understand how you are feeling. I have 4 kids. My husband works a job I hardly see him. And I do work but from home. I sell Athome America. You might consider a home based business to give you more time with your family. Here is my website www.athome.com/M. you can get more info on here but it is start for FREE which is very different from other companies. If you know someone else who may be interested tell them about it and if they join and qualify I will give you a $25 Gift Certificate. Have a great day and if you ever need to talk you can email me.

I am a working mother of 3 and know exactly how you feel. My kids are 12, 11 and 7 and you are right there is not enough time in the day. What I have learned over the years is this.......Housework will be there years from now, if you do not have the cleanest house on the block so be it, but if your kids grow up and have spent quality time with you that will last a life time. They will not remember years from now that there was a pile of laundry in the laundry room or there was dust on the furniture. These are not things that matter in the end. I don't know how old your kids are but at any age they are old enough to do some chores, the younger they are the simpler the chores but any little thing helps. If you want some suggestions let me know my kids have a chore system set up that I would be happy to share with you.

S.

I realize that money is probably tight, or else you wouldn't be carrying such a heavy work load. However, you might want to consider hiring a cleaning lady for a few months. It sounds very extravagant, but really when you look at how much your time and sanity is worth, it really evens itself out. I'm not sure what the rates are in this area, but I'd bet for about $100 a month, you could have an individual come in and clean every other week. That might be just what you need to breath a sigh of relief. I used to clean houses part time and realized that it's not the "rich" people that hire cleaning ladies. It's everyday moms that have a lot going on and don't want to stress about the house. If you hire a cleaning lady, I would stick with an individual rather than a cleaning company. The companies have a lot of overhead and the individual will tend to give you more personal service and be more flexible. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to email me.
God Bless.
S.

If your husband doesn't complain about the housework I wouldn't worry about that. Your children are most important. And remember to include your children in household chores.
Sounds like you have a full plate and that can be very hard on a family. Do you see an end in sight? Will it always be this way? if you are working to get out of debt, there are alternative ways to bring in income and there are debt help programs that really can help. You also might consider working at home part-time. You can make great money at home if you apply the same principles you would apply at a job.
Time is more valuable than money to me. Evaluate why you are working, where the end will be and then live through this phase if it is a phase. If there is no end in sight--seek help NOW. Don't wait until your children are grown and have regrets!
Hope that helps

i know what your talking about, i have a 4 yo, 2 yo and an 8 mo and i work part time 2 days a week. i feel the same way as you do some times. but i always try to remember that the dishes, the house the laundry, etc can exist with out me, but my babies can not and i have done my job if they feel comforted and loved. it's so hard though, i'm a bit of a perfectionist/OCD and have a hard time relaxing until everything is in place. my only advice to is to make notes/lists of things you need/want to get done and mark them off. it is a positive feeling when you see you list getting smaller. i always give myself several days to finish it though, with the baby there's always something coming up that gets me side tracked. oh well such is life as a mom. congrats and good luck

One thing I would like to add to the other great suggestions relates to laundry. We have 6 & 9 year old girls both of us work full time and we have a farm and animals to maintain. I have started doing the sheets, towels, socks, underwear, jammies and things that don't have to be folded right away, as my last load in the evening. That way if I'm not awake when the dryer is done it's ok to sit until the next evening when I can fold and put everything away. I try to do the items that need to be folded or hung up immediately on the weekend or if I get home earlier than ususal. A couple of years ago I finally broke down and started paying for ironing. It is just one of those things I had trouble getting done and our work dress clothes were suffering. This decreased my stress and I look at it as an expense of working outside the home. You may not need this service but do shop around because prices vary widely.
Hang in there, it does get easier.
J.

Hi S.,
I figure it a couple ways when it comes to laundry, house cleaning those type of things what I don't get done today will be here for me tomorrow. That being said that doesn't mean I don't keep my house clean or like it to be cleaned up. So heres what I do....

In the morning while the kids are eating breakfast I gather up the dishes from the night before (cups we used the night before and things like this) I get started on these after I get the kids sitting down and eating (we don't have a dishwasher). When they are done I have them empty their bowls in the trash or put their paper plates in the trash (whichever). I do this at breakfast and lunch.
For dinner since I am home I try to cook the meat that I'm gonna have that evening early such as chicken in the oven, meatloaf or even get part of it made such as making hamburger patties or whatever the case may be. I usually start dinner at 5 or 5:30 pm, as I use things to cook the meal I wash them and as I'm having the kids help set the table, (my 6 yr old puts the forks out, my 3 yr old puts the plates out, they both put out whatever condiments we need ketchup, bbq sauce etc.)I dry and put a couple things away that way when we are done I only have the things to wash that we've used eating. This helps alot. My oldest son or husband clears the table while I start on the dishes in the sink and we have it cleaned up in no time at all.
After dinner the kids get their baths we do it every other night unless they've played outside and then its everynight. But when we do one of will wash the kids and the other will get them ready for bed. My 6 year old will go first he will get out of the tub I will have his pajamas ready and I will help him if he needs it and then we go back and brush his teeth. When my daughter gets out I will comb her hair and get her pajamas on her and then go brush her teeth while they are getting in bed I go get their "bedtime drink" and their dad is cleaning up the bathroom from their baths by the time he is done I am done and then he goes and reads their "bedtime story" to them while I go and straighten up the living room, do whatever dishes might be in the sink and put the the ones from dinner away.
Laundry, I HATE LAUNDRY!! It's a never ending battle but I have figured out to do laundry every other day for us it's about 2 or 3 loads that day. It's easier to stay up on and put away.
I get up at 6 am try to do atleast one thing before the daycare kids get here in the morning like swiffer or something like this. Also I get more accomplished when my kids are in bed falling asleep rather then trying to do it while they are up. Also it allows my husband and I a little bit of alone time each night.
I do know this I am here everyday with my kids and some days I feel like I didn't see them at all. But I try to make sure that in the evening before bedtime we spend some time together. I hope this helps you in some way. Goodluck W. mom of 4