Pregnant and Needing to Wean 8 Month Old

As a lactation advocate - I'll give you the other side argument. **Replies to uneducated Moms responding to me below***

1) Babies got thru multiple phases where Moms assume they are self weaning, when in fact they are so busy learning to do active motions and mind is moving so fast assimilating new information - that it seems they are uninterested with breastfeeding. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Human babies do not self wean until AFTER 2 years old. The bottle is instant gratification without any of the effort. Breastfeeding takes emotional time, physical time (suckling takes more jaw strength and suction) and time spent away from being an energizer bunny.

2) Momma's Milk will change a bit during pregnancy, and may dwindle - but you will not dry up. As for the pre-term labor and breastfeeding - contact a IBCLC, not your OB or a regular CLC. Even a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) would know more about it than your OB. Yes, I'm being very serious.

3) I'd advise you continue breastfeeding during those times of calmness (like the early morning, before and after naptime and bedtime) and allow for supplementation with the bottle or pureed foods ONLY when nursing isn't working or satisfying to your son. Unless otherwise counseled by a IBCLC or CPM, I'd continue breastfeeding as long as possible. Tandem nursing also helps with siblings bonding too... kellymom.com is a great site for many things breastfeeding and tandem nursing.

4) Just because your 'formula fed' baby is healthy, happy, etc - that is known as the exception. ALL STUDIES DONE show breastfed babies are healthier overall, better adjusted and socially adept. I'm a Nursing student with the intention of going all the way to ARNP, and the addition of CPM. I don't say things lightly, nor without knowledge. Most formula fed babies get food allergies, irritable bowels, horrible gas, diarrhea and GERD. Formula is cow protein which is larger and much harder to digest for babies. Cow protein also introduces foreign bacteria into an immature and sterile gastric system. Breastfeed is neither foreign material nor hard to synthesis and keeps the gut of the baby in good shape.

5) OBs do not practice normal births. They are specialty SURGEONS. They see disease and problems where there are none. She requires an OB due to her previous fertility treatments and possible pre-term labor. Most OBs are not trained, nor research breastfeeding in any capacity. That is why a CPM or IBCLC who is CROSS TRAINED with actual graduate level medical research and knowledge is the best person to ask.

6) Mammals are breastfeeding creatures. Humans are one of the longest breastfed developmentally speaking of all the mammals. Only a few breastfeed longer. I understand Moms WANT to assume nursing strikes are actual weaning... but that is on you. I am giving factual information while others are giving completely personal opinions.

Here are my two cents :)

I've been pregnant each time (but the last) when I weaned. By babies were older, but I was ready to wean them by about 15-20 weeks pregnant.

If your baby takes a bottle, I'd nurse him at the times of day that it's working for you, then give bottles after nursing the rest of the time. My milk diminished by about 20 weeks to nearly nothing, and at that point for me it was really uncomfortable to nurse, so maybe that could be your weaning goal? That gives you another full 12 weeks of nursing, that would put your baby at nearly a year. As your baby gets closer to a year, he'll be eating more solids and won't need as much volume of breast milk to keep him filled up.

As you add solids, you can slowly cut back to the point that you are just nursing once a day by the time you are 20 weeks pregnant. Then you can decide how much longer to do that last nursing. You technically could nurse him right up to delivery, as long as it's working for you.

My first two babies were 20 months apart, they are best of friends. My brother and I are 13 months apart and are very close. Your baby and new baby will do well, you are clearly a concerned and attentive parent.

Good for you for doing what is right for you and your family.

jessica

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! We are actually in the same boat. I have an 8 month old and am 9 weeks pregnant (and my husband works 70 hours a week so I know how hard it is to be taking care of a baby while pregnant w/o a lot of help). It osunds like you could cut out the 9:00am feeding w/o too much trouble so I would start there. My daughter nurses 4-5 times a day and one of those is usually a pretty brief nursing before she falls asleep for her afternoon nap. She is eating 3 solid meals a day so maybe try some solids in the am instead of the 9:00 am nursing?

Please don't let anyone make you feel bad about having them so close together or weaning if that is what you need to do. A baby is wonderful no matter when he or she comes. Please feel free to pm me! Good luck! Somehow it always works out.

Babies do self wean before 2 years old. I had to force my son (with many ideas from my LLL leader) to nurse until 14 months. He was NOT interested, and he even tandemed nurse with his big sister who I nursed all through his pregnancy. Babies are totally different. My daughter DID NOT want to wean while I was pregnant so I didn't make her. It was hard, and I felt like I had no personal space, but it was such a great reward to tandem nurse them together. They are so close, play well and share well together. But please don't make blanket statements like human babies don't self wean before 2, because it just isn't true.

I would just try a bottle for the feedings that are difficult for you. At his age the antsiness could be that your breastmilk has changed some because of the pregnancy coupled with the age of your child (motor skills blooming). I thought my daughter was self-weaning at 9 months and I worried myself silly about it and got all stressed out. I was convinced she was not gaining enough weight. In hindsight I should have just tried a bottle of formula or try to pump more to give her a bottle of pumped milk instead of fighting with a 9month old the way I did. In the end she regained her interest in nursing again and didn't wean until 16 months old. From 12 mths to 16 mths I just replaced the harder feedings at mid-morning and afternoon with a bottle or cup of whole milk. I kept the wake up and go to sleep feed and I felt so much calmer and less stressed.

As for the debate between some of the moms and the lactation advocate- sure in pre-modern times babies did not have much of a choice --nurse or there was little else for nourishment. We live in modern times --I think it is extreme to say we should act as if we are not and try to stop our children from drinking from cups and bottles at all costs because they may wean earlier than the age of 2. I'd like to see the studies that state MOST formula fed babies develop all these conditions at a statistically significant higher rate than BFers.
This mom has concerns about pre-term labor as well so to insinuate she should try to tandem nurse them where the health of the second child could be comprimised and she is obviously having trouble getting him to breastfeed is only going to up her stress level! My advice--RELAX and certainly don't think you child is going to be emotionally or physically harmed by weaning now

Updated

I would just try a bottle for the feedings that are difficult for you. At his age the antsiness could be that your breastmilk has changed some because of the pregnancy coupled with the age of your child (motor skills blooming). I thought my daughter was self-weaning at 9 months and I worried myself silly about it and got all stressed out. I was convinced she was not gaining enough weight. In hindsight I should have just tried a bottle of formula or try to pump more to give her a bottle of pumped milk instead of fighting with a 9month old the way I did. In the end she regained her interest in nursing again and didn't wean until 16 months old. From 12 mths to 16 mths I just replaced the harder feedings at mid-morning and afternoon with a bottle or cup of whole milk. I kept the wake up and go to sleep feed and I felt so much calmer and less stressed.

As for the debate between some of the moms and the lactation advocate- sure in pre-modern times babies did not have much of a choice --nurse or there was little else for nourishment. We live in modern times --I think it is extreme to say we should act as if we are not and try to stop our children from drinking from cups and bottles at all costs because they may wean earlier than the age of 2. I'd like to see the studies that state MOST formula fed babies develop all these conditions at a statistically significant higher rate than BFers.
This mom has concerns about pre-term labor as well so to insinuate she should try to tandem nurse them where the health of the second child could be comprimised and she is obviously having trouble getting him to breastfeed is only going to up her stress level! My advice--RELAX and certainly don't think you child is going to be emotionally or physically harmed by weaning now

Congrats on the new baby!! I weaned my son at 8.5 months after he bit me so bad I couldn't even imagine putting my breast back in his mouth...I went cold turkey and was engorged and had to pump to ease it a bit. I don't remember it being too bad...when he was hungry he just got a bottle and I pumped a bit then let my supply dry up.

My daughter BF until 12 months and then we gradually moved to cows milk.

Of the 2 kids my son is healthier than my daughter by far...no ear infections not many colds...my daughter was the queen of the ear infection and she was exclusively BF for a year wouldn't even take a bottle. So don't worry about baby's immune system.

You just keep doing what you are doing and slowly loose the feedings he is not interested in and supplement him more and more...he and you will do great.

And to Miss Lactation Consultant...are you going to be there for her when she has pre-term labor and feels super guilty for BFing past her OB's orders and ends up with a preemie or loses the baby?? I didn't think so...so just answer her actual question and keep your breastfeeding propaganda to yourself. That is NOT the question she is asking.

Sweet A....you and your 8.5 month old will be just fine and think how close he and his new sibling will be...they will have a lot of things to play together being so close in age. Sending you a hug!!

I went through infertility treatments to get pregnant too and after we have our little baby in march 2011 we are not going to use any protection either. If it happens it happens. I am verry happy for you. Dont worry about weaning your little one. each baby is different and decides when he or she is ready. He will be just fine.I worked in peds for over 7 years and have seen lots of babies that were only breast fed a couple of months and they were happy, healthy little babies. Having two kids that close together may be a challange for you in the begaining but will be worth it in the end. They can help each other when they get older and even be playmate in a few years.

No negative commments here. As someone who has been through infertility treatments, my main comment is CONGRATULATIONS! Enjoy every minute and forget the mommy guilt :)

When my son decided to wean himself at about the same age, I dropped one feeding each week until we were both done. He never seemed to feel neglected and at age 8 he is a very snuggly child with a strong immune system.

Take care of yourself and best of luck! --S.

CONGRATULATIONS! My son loved the bottle so much he weaned himself at 6 months. He loved that he could hold it himself and be in control! (he had good motor skills) Every few days I replaced another feeding with bottle. Let your body be the guide - if your breast are painfully full you're going too fast if you're comfortable you're weaning at a good pace. My son was very healthy and happy during weaning and I still found times to hold and cuddle him so I didnt feel too bad. (my daughter -completely different, was difficult to wean at one year!) I read somewhere that your milk changes when you get pregnant because your body is getting ready for a newborn. this is probably why he is disinterested, your milk is not the same as he's used to and may not be what he needs. Isnt it better to have him weaned before the new baby comes so he doesn't feel he was displaced by this new baby? good luck

It sounds like he's almost weaned. Have you tried just giving him a bottle at one of his feedings, and no breast?
By the way, who cares if you're pregnant so soon? It's nobody's business but yours. Be happy! Good luck!

Congratulations!!! Your youngest will have a best friend for life! My two boys were close together, I was hard at first but now they never want to be apart. Yes, they fight sometimes, they are brothers! They actually asked me if they were twins and every one thinks they are.
About the nursing. When I got pregnant while nursing my milk changed. My son was unhappy and hungry for a bottle. I realised my milk tasted bad, it was kind of salty or something. After that realization, I was happy to wean him. He was fine and healthy and all my children know they are loved immensly! I have six. You are a good mother and doing a great job!
Dont feel guilty about anything!!!!! It took me a long time to learn to go with my gut instinct and not let other people try to change my ideas to fit their plans. Good luck and enjoy your babies!

I had 6 kids in 71/2 years-far be it from me to issue a negative comment! Nature is helping you along-the baby is self weaning-you need all the fortification you can get-and an 8 month old is fine to be fed three meals a day and bottle fed 4 or so ounces of formula afterwards. My grandson just turned 9 months-so this is recent advice, as well as past experience. My youngest son, now 19, self weaned at 6 months-formula was just fine for him-he is 6'3'! Take care of yourself-God bless you and your darling children-born and unborn-and your husband for his service to our country!

My daughter is 7.5 mo old and took to the bottle really easily as well, so I was blessed that I didn't have any problems with her wanting to nurse when I started drying up....I think it's fine to stop now because she needs Vitamin D at 6 mo any way, which is in formula, and my mom stopped nursing me when I was 6 mo old and i have a GREAT immune system - I never did and still don't get sick very often. I started giving her some formula mixed in with her oatmeal cereal when she was 4.5 months old, then let her finish the couple ounces in the bottle after she was done eating...then I just nursed her at home and gave her formula when I went out (I have limited nursing shirts!)....it was convenient for both of us...so it ended up that I would give her 1 -2 bottles a day and the other feedings were at home, nursing....I did this for a while and my milk started drying up (if I felt full, I would nurse her on that side, but it was gradual, so I didn't have many problems with that - hot showers work well too) and then worked my way down to one nursing in the morning and then bottles the rest of the day....she never even wants to nurse now unless it is first thing in the morning, but just within the past week she has stopped that altogether...I am kind of sad that we are probably done now (I may try one more time tomorrow...ugh can't let go! haha), but I bond with her in so many other ways now, it's fine...
Good luck!!!

Hello, I am happy for you, it sounds as if you really want this family and you are now bless. Oh your little baby can still have his coddling time, you will work it out. Good luck