Pregnant After Vasectomy... How Do I Tell My Husband?

A faint positive is still a positive. I think you should get him a funny card, like one with a cowboy on it and write inside, "Guess who ISN'T shooting blanks?" and enclose the test, or another with a darker response.

My friend's daughter came to be even after 2 forms of birth control. Friend shrugged and said, "I guess she REALLY wanted to be here!"

"Remember the doctor saying that there was a 0.5% chance that we could get pregnant after the vascectomy? Eh well lets go buy some lottery tickets tonight, honey, because we are beating the odds on getting pregnant. Maybe we can beat the odds on the lottery too."

This hasn't happened to me but it sounds like my husband's worst nightmare. He always says that when we're done (we might have one more), he'll get snipped, I'll get tied AND we'll use a condom. lol. I'm glad it's not the end of the world for you. I would wait until he's had a GREAT fun day with the kids and then sit him down after the kids are in bed, tell him how much you love him and break the news to him gently. Be prepared for any type of reaction ranging from great to ok to bad and just know that even if he's not thrilled right now, he'll have 10 months to get used to the idea nad he'll love that child to pieces once s/he is born. Good luck!

How do you tell him? Let his doctor tell him. Get an appointment, walk in with your husband and ask the doctor to explain how it is that you are pregnant.

I would make this the doctor's job. I really would.

Dawn

Before you say or do anything, see your OB. Have a blood test to be sure that you are in fact preggers.

Then once you get the confirmation tell hubby "surprise"!

I would just sit him down and tell him as tenderly as I could. That would be surprising enough.

Congratulations.

I would gather up all the little children around me and him and start tickling and having fun, and laughing and cooing....and then say something like this...

"Hon, you know that the effectiveness of vasectomies is only __%? (someone mentioned 95, but I don't know) Well, aren't we the the luckiest 5% of parents that fall into the uber fertile category. Some how one of your sperms found a way around it all!!!....When should we tell the family were expecting again???

Many, many blessings to you all!

See if you can find a shirt small enough to fit the 3 mo old that says "Big Sister/Brother". Take a picture of the baby wearing it, put in on the cover of a Valentines photo card that you make online and write on the inside something like, "Your present will be arriving on or around <insert EST due date>, Happy Valentine's Day!" Let him open it and see how long it takes for him to figure it out! Congrats!

Would you consider taking another test? I had problems with a faint positive once. I was over the moon and then crushed when I checked again, and couldn't get a positive. The levels of pregnancy hormone (hCG) are in the highest concentration in your urine when you first wake up - maybe try again tomorrow morning? Even have him wait with you for the results - saying you think you may be pregnant? Sorry, this isn't the sort of response you were hoping to get, but I wish I had had reason to be more cautious after my faint positive.

Good luck to you and way to be flexible about this big, big surprise.

Well, if you had a "faint" positive test I would suggest waiting a week or two and get the pregancy confirmed by your doctor. Who knows, but maybe the test was defective (it can happen!) and me personally I would want to know for SURE before I would drop something like this on my husband.

Also, I don't know your husband obviously, but I would think that the fact that you are pregnant is probably enough of a surprise for him. I think in a situation like this an adult conversation is more appropriate than a cutesy surprise. If you are planning something out and he does not react positive at first (as most men in this situation certainly would not - after all he had done his part to be DONE) you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt feelings.
Good luck!

"Gently surprise him?"

I'm thinking that he will be concerned about how you got pregnant when he's shooting blanks.

I think if it were me, I'd call his doctor that did the procedure and ask him how this makes any sense. Perhaps call your gynecologist too. Certainly, get a professional test from your gynecologist. Get something to help you explain how he's shooting blanks, you are breastfeeding, and you haven't had much sex, yet you are pregnant.

I think your husband will appreciate that you were concerned about why it didn't work and find out if these procedures are only 95% guaranteed or what. Maybe you or he has some unusual condition that allowed this to happen. I sense that you may be happy about this so tread lightly in case he will, naturally I think, have some lesser positive feelings about whether or not you were faithful.

Also, its just me, but I would never assume that you know your partner's deepest feelings on a subject like this. They can change and we don't always share our changed thoughts with our spouses as there is thought to be no need to.

WOW I just finished the responses and I thought the question was how to tell him in a fun way? Did I get that wrong?
I would make a meal of Baby spinsh, baby corn, ect and ask him do you get the theme?
For our 2nd I put a T-shirt on my oldest that said soon to be big sister (my daughter was 13) for our 3rd I put a T-shirt on my 2nd that said big sister. I sent a T-shirt to my mom that had all the grandchildren in birth order on it then a cartoon baby at the end with a question mark.

This happens all the time. His doctor should have told him to be careful for a couple of months after the surgery. I have heard of men who have healed years after getting a vasectomy, poop happens. I would be honest with him and also have your OB do a test at the office just to be sure since it was a faint positive.

I would just tell your husband ASAP and not worry about being creative. Although your husband loves your 3 kids, such news of another one on the way so soon might not elicit the joyous reaction that pregnancy news has in the past. Because your test was only faint positive, it is possible that is a false positive. Hcg levels usually fall to "negative" status (<5 mg/dl) by 4-6 weeks after delivery but there are always exceptions to every rule. Although it is not impossible for you to get pregnant so soon after delivery and with your husband's recent vasectomy, I'd want to have a Dr/Midwife double check with a blood test. My experience has taught me that it is possible for a woman to have residual hcg still in her body from the prior delivery. Pregnancy symptoms can sometimes be confused with hormone fluctuations and PMS too. Be sure and retest in 24-48 hours at home (if it's darker in 2 days, you are probably pregnant) or see a Dr for a more accurate result. Best wishes! Nurse Midwife Mom

Tell him you're gonna write a letter.

Write a letter to that imcompetent doctor!

Maybe turn him into the medical board!

We outta get a lawyer!!!!

To update our wills - we're pregnant! :)

My girlfriend has a very beautiful "light of daddy's eye" 4th daughter because they... um... celebrated their anniversary before the "six week" grace period.

Vasectomy is not 100% and the doctors are really clear on that. My husband is having the procedure done this summer. Those tests have a margin of error. Although not a huge margin, all it takes is one strong little swimmer!

I would buy him a bottle of his favorite drink and tie two ribbons to it, one pink/one blue and give it to him with a note saying "Do not open until ____". We did this wiht my parents when we found out we were having our first child/ their first grandchild and it took about 10 seconds to figure it out, but the reaction was great! Plus... there's something to celebrate with when the time comes.

Congratulations!

This happened to a girlfriend of mine. She has 3 children and really didn't want anymore. Her husband handled it better than she did. He went back to the doctor that performed the vasectomy and he had the nerve to imply that maybe the child was not his! Then he went on to say that in some rare cases the procedure is not successful. Needless to say my friend will be getting her tubes tied after this pregnancy.

Yep, I agree w/another poster. Forget about creativity. This is an emergency.
Tell him and then go find out for sure. You better hope he doesn't think you have been seeing the postman, just kidding.

PS...Congratulations!!

It is my understanding that vasectomies are not effective immediately so although he is now "shooting blanks", he must not have been at the time of conception. But wow...what a surprise it will be to him (as I am sure it was to you).

You could hand him a card with "Ooops....we did it again! Baby #4 arriving late 2012!"

I'm really surprised your husband was only tested once....and that you both trusted it. I work for a testing lab and this is one of the tests we perform. Many of the physicians I work with will send the patient for testing after a minimum of 50 ejaculations and they will go back several times after different intervals (instead of a time frame hoping they die). Some men get tested every year.

Just tell him...and go for a blood test yourself.

Set the table for 6, with a big plate and 'baby' plate at your spot.

I just wanted to say congratulations! Wow! It sounds like this baby is REALLY meant to be! :) Best wishes!

My neighbor got pregnant with her 6th THREE YEARS after her husband's vasectomy!! Do yourself a favor and get your tubes tied after the delivery.

Also - I agree w/ the poster who spoke about the military experience. I'm sure the paperwork says that this can happen... but no one thinks it will be them! You know your husband best re: if you should lead w/ being willing to take a paternity test, or if he'll just roll with it. Good luck!!

How about leaving the "Baby Naming Book" or a list of possible baby names out on the dress, bed, counter, or somewhere he is sure to see it. Then when he asks you can say....Suprise!

Congratulations! There are some wonderful, cute ideas on here! Too bad for those people who think your husband will be angry or suspicious. I had a bit of pregnancy "scare" a few weeks ago and our youngest is just a baby. We have 3. While we aren't planning to have a 4th, I know, without a doubt, that if we had a 4th, my husband would be elated. Tired, but elated. And maybe a little proud that his swimmers are super. What a wonderful relationship you have, and what a blessing to have an "extra" kid. I know many who would love to have your "problem". Good Luck!

OH I think you Have to go with the Cowboy theme as suggested by AV
have fun and congratulations!!!