Pregnancy Loss

Updated on March 15, 2007
I.M. asks from Palm Bay, FL
21 answers

I recently lost my pregnancy at 23 weeks. We are having services for our baby this saturday. I haven't really given much thought to it because it's such a sad time right now, but I would like suggestions for remembering my baby or something small I could place with the remians. I want this to be memorable and not forgotten because she was my child. We are planning on getting pregnant again soon and I don't want my baby forgotten in the future.

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So What Happened?

Now that it has been a while since it all went down, I want to thank you all for your suggestions. I could only use a couple of them. My baby was diagnosed with Bilateral Cystic Dysplastic Kidneys. Her kidneys did not function, no amniotic fluid was produced. Even if I had made it to full term, she would have not lived. I never got pictures taken while I was pregnant. Dr.'s could and would not give me an ultrasound picture. And I was so busy taking care of my two kids and husband, and working full time, I never kept a chart of my pregnancy. We had her cremated and buried with my grandmother. I still haven't brought myself to make a picture or scrapbook because I have nothing. I hadn't even gotten to pick out something special for her before the diagnosis. But I just wanted to say that our preacher said something really great I wanted all of you to know.

He said this:

"I believe that in heaven, God has a rocking chair. And he holds our babies and sings to them in the rocking chair."

This is one of the most beautiful words I have heard in a long time.

Thanks for all your support.
I.

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T.N.

answers from Lakeland on

Go to Angel Babies Forever Loved... there are lots of helps/hints and people who can talk and give you suggestions...

http://www.angels4ever.com

~ T.

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M.

answers from Miami on

I.,

It is always a devastating thing to loose a child, no matter when or how.

You could get some sort of an angel, and put her name on it, if you had picked a name out yet.

Also, Hallmark has an angel ornament this year. It is titled "Always Remembered" and says "I am with you because you remember me". You can hang it on your tree every year, or just hang it somewhere all year around. It will keep her alive in your heart because she is your little angel. My son was kidnapped by his father almost a year ago and I am still fighting to get him back. When I saw the ornament I knew I had to have it and I am going to hang it in his room, because he is my angel and I need reminded that a part of him is always with me. I got the last one at my local store, so if you want it, don't wait.

May you and your family be blessed and find a way to ease your pain.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.N.

answers from Knoxville on

I....I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I, myself, have suffered 4 miscarriages...the longest I had carried was my first one, and that was for 4.5 months. I made a website for her, named her, and I take time to remember her every year. I now have been blessed with twins, a boy and a girl. They are 2.5 years old. I include them in on the memorial as well.

If you ever need to just talk, I'm here for you. my email is ____@____.com

Take care.

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M.C.

answers from Melbourne on

Hi I.,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I know what is to lose a baby at that stage, I went through the samething 2 years ago. What I did to keep the memories aliva is...

1. I wrote a poem to my baby which also describes my pain
2. I framed all of his ultrasound pictures in a "never forgotten" frame that I made especially for him.

I know that this might not be what you are looking for right at this moment but I can asure you that anything that you do with your heart to remember this child it will be worth it. I., I will keep you in my prayers.

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R.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I am so sorry for your loose. I would like to recommend a book that has helped a few of my friends deal with the struggles of loosing a child: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg. I will pray for you.

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E.

answers from Miami on

my friend lost her son and the funeral home offered a fingerprint of the child done in sterling silver she wears as a necklace.
for the something to go in the child. how about a picture.
Its just a body now, However her spirit lives on with the Lord in Eternity. You will see her again one day in heaven.

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E.B.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I'm really sorry for your loss first of all. My aunt lost her baby too and she had him cremated. She keeps him in a special spot in the house along with a cross and a bible. Every year she lets a balloon in the air in his rememberance with the immediate family. That is her way of keeping his memory alive every year. Hope it helps a little.
Liza

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V.

answers from Orlando on

You can put a blanket you bought with the remains, or some small item that you bought when learned you were first pregnant. To help remind you, you can create a small scrapbook of pictures, sonograms, that you kept as a memento to always look back at. Just make sure you use acid free paper so that the pictures will remain the same throughout the years. My prayers go to your family in this time of loss.

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C.M.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. My friend lost her baby and has her footprints framed in her bedroom. I thought this was a good idea.

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D.E.

answers from Daytona Beach on

I am so sorry for your loss. My sister just went through the same thing. An idea would be for you to wear a locket with her footprint in it. Best Wishes

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K.N.

answers from Tallahassee on

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

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K.B.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I would place a blanket or something with the remains or like the others said soemthing you got when you first learnt you were pregnant . I am sorry for your loss

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T.R.

answers from Miami on

First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby at 2 months and I still wonder what he or she would have been like. I dont know if you are religious but if you are or not God knows your pain and will help you to get over this. I dont know about you but if I was haveing a service for a baby I would probly go to a funneral home and buy one of those tiny necklace viles that people put ashes in and I would put a small amount of the babies ashes or if you are burring the baby then I would take a couple of the peddles from one of the flowers on the casket and put them in the necklase. If you want to leave something for the baby then I would suggest letting your other kids make a picture and maybe a lock of your hair or a picture of the family to be burried with the baby. I have lost my dad when I was 12 and my baby 5 years ago and I just lost my mom last Jan. I know how you feel and if you ever need someone to talk to let me know. I send my prayers with you and your family today.

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R.P.

answers from Miami on

Hello I., my heart goes out to you...although I have never experienced the loss of a child I want to be supportive. If you have any pictures of yourself pregnant maybe you can frame it and get a special frame with a prayer. Although material memories could always make us feel better, our mental memories are really the things that hold it. You really don't need a token it's in your heart sweety...and that will never be forgotten or taken away. You are in my prayers.

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S.C.

answers from Melbourne on

I am so sorry for you and your families loss. I hope the service was nice. She is with God and that is what would give me comfort.

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B.F.

answers from Orlando on

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.God Bless you always

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M.R.

answers from Lakeland on

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I just lost my second pregancy at 12 weeks just 2 weeks ago. The funeral home we worked with recommended going to Things Remembered and getting a small box engraved versus a small urn( we only needed a very small box anyway for one so young).
Also we did not know the sex of the child- but we had a nickname from the beginning so this is what we had engraved on the box. If you did not know the sex either- or use a nickname you oculd always use something like " Our Little Angel", Our Special Child" etc. I hope that helps- and I know that we will both be blessed with other children- God knows our heart's desires. Take care.

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J.E.

answers from Lakeland on

First of all im sorry about the lost of your little angel i can share your fillings because i lost a little angel to i was 35 weeks when he past althought it has been 7 years of that its still hurts and i still remember him like it was yesterday. I think the footprints idea i a very good one in my case it will be very hard to have something that i see and remainde me of my little angel. If you need somebody to talk or just a friend i am here i am sincerely sorry.

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R.C.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I am so sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and your family. My dear friend also suffered a loss similar to yours, she was i believe 32 weeks. What they did for there daughter was had a necklace made with her name, they were able to get a pic as well(not sure what pic they used)
You can also write your little angel a letter to keep with her/him.
Your baby will never be replaced or forgotten!
my prayers are with you and your family

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J.C.

answers from Orlando on

I., I'm so sorry for your loss. My friend went through a similar situation and she named the baby girl Faith. She carries some of Faith's ashes in a tiny urn charm around her neck. I think she bought it through the funeral home. Also, Faith has a Christmas stocking that we all buy little inspirational keepsakes to put in it every year. I hope this helps you find a special way to remember your baby. I can't think of anything worse in the world than losing a child, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

J.

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P.B.

answers from Orlando on

There is no word to send my deepest sympathy what you are going this moment, but I pray to the Lord to give you the streight needed in this moment. In regard of the memorial make a beautiful album with all the card pictures the name you was going to give day and hours of every event. If you have picture of the pregnancy of the baby. This will bring a beautiful memory and a pretty verse or dedication. In the future you can show your kids that there is a little angel in heaven that is was the baby brother or sister. God Bless you and best wishes in your future pregnancy.

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