PottyTraining Tips

Updated on October 05, 2006
M.G. asks from Oakville, CT
9 answers

Hello

I need help. I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter named Natalia and she absolutely refuses to be potty trained. I got her own potty and even tried bribing her to go on it but that doesn't work. I don't know what else to do. She knows what the potty is for because I take her into the bathroom with me & talk to her about it all the time but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. Does anyone have any advice? It would be greatly appreciated
thanks M.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Hi there, I had a hard time when my daughter was 2 1/2 as well. I bought a dvd called Potty Power. It was really helpful! She loved it and she's been potty trained for about 6 months now (she's 3 1/2). She doesn't even wear pull ups at night and hasn't since she started using the potty. :)
Give it a try! Good luck.

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T.L.

answers from New York on

My daughter was a little over 2 when I started potty training her. I also brought her in to the bathroom with me when I went to the bathroom. I brought her a potty too, but that didn�t seem to work, but I found two things that worked for me. I brought her panties and taught her not to get them wet, because she was a big girl (this worked at home, when we went out she wore pull ups). I also brought her a seat; the one that fits over the toilet. I found that she saw that I used the toilet and not a potty, and then she was able to be a big girl like mommy.

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J.M.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi M.,
I might have some suggestions for you, I have a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old. When my firs girl was about 2 I started by putting her potty in the living room (our bathroom was upstairs) and she would just sit on it like a chair, so I gave her books to look at while she sat, she would also go into the bathroom with me and hand out while I didi my thing, and ask alot of quesions about what I was doing and I would tell her that because I'am a big girl I go potty on the toilet. also I had prizes for the potty, dollar store stuff,they don't mind, for going pee-pee on the potty, and for doing the big poo-pee, we got prizes that were a little bigger (travel magna-doodle, coloring book w/ crayons), but you have to limit the amount of toys or prizes they get.only like about a dozen between the two kinds of prizes or they will think they will forever get prizes for the potty. Alot of yeahs and you are such a big girl for going on the potty, even if they don't actually go, they will associate that as doing a good thing,when they have accidents, let them know that it is ok, but next time you have to really try harder to get to the potty. I also tried just putting undies on her or letting her run in the buff, then you can watch for her q's when she might have to go, my daughter used to go to an end of a table and squat down when she had to poop, I knew then I had to scurry her to the potty, and let her choose a prize if she did it in the potty. It is alot of work to potty train, some get it quick and some just don't want to let go of the diaper for a while, my daughter was 3 when she finally got it, don't get dicouraged, it will happen, for your son it will be easier when he starts because he is going to learn alot from sissy, talking,walking potty time alot of stuff, my 2 yr old started sitting on the potty when she was a little over a year, she is not trained yet,but I suspect she will be soon, simply because she observes, and wants to do everything her sissy does.But putting her potty where it will be most accessible to her would probably work the best for now until she gets comfy with it, usually in a room she is in most often will do. good luck!!

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M.K.

answers from Buffalo on

I have two daughters ages 3 & 4. I'm also a stay-at-home mom. Your putting too much pressure on yourself. It will happen when she's ready.

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K.M.

answers from Providence on

I have two 3 and a half year old girls. When they were almost 3 I took the diapers away completely. We had gone over the potty chair and I let the girls sit on the chair, but still they refused to go potty. We had pull ups, and one of my girls would go on her own, but she wanted to stay in pull ups. Once they understood the concept, I bought "big girl" panties, and training pants and took the diapers and pullups and threw them out. After wetting their pants a few times they started to go on the potty, instead of having to stop playing and get washed up and changed. There were still a few accidents, but I found that eliminating diapers completely made all the difference. Good Luck!

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A.S.

answers from Glens Falls on

don't be discouraged. I have a little brother who is 3 years old, and he's not potty-trained yet either. My mother has talked to his pediatrician, and she said not to push it because if he's not ready then he'll "rebel" and it'll only prolong the process. She said to just be patient, and look for signs, such as staying dry after a nap, asking about going potty, etc. Also, try some potty training books and videos. Have you let her be in the bathroom with you while you are going? that too can spark interest in her, let her flush the toilet and wash her hands with you. That too may help.

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H.

answers from New York on

M.:

I can relate to your situation. My daughter is a little over 2 and she too refused to use the potty. Like you I tried: to get her own little potty, bribe her, showed her "big girl underwear", heck she has been coming into the bathroom with me since birth (try pulling up your pants with a infant in your arm, not so easy) anyway you name it I tried it with Jasmine. And it wasn't until she decided that it was time did she start to use it. Basically, once I gave up. The good news is that once she began we hardly had any accidents. The bad news is that we are still struggling with her to use the potty for bowl movements. She will sit to urine then she will pull her underwear back up and stand in her spot to bowl. I have even tried to take her underwear off in progress but it do well. So I have decided that when she is ready for this part, she will do it. It's true what they say, I guess, that it is a power struggle and at this age they are the ones that will win it. My recommendation, which I received from her pediatrician, is to stop pushing and talking about it. It may spark her intest to bring it up.

Good luck

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T.D.

answers from Providence on

I feel your pain!! My daughter is 3 will be 4 in dec. I started teaching my daughter at about 18 months, not pushing her or anything, just getting her used to it. I really started putting her on the potty more by the tiem she was 2 1/2. See... I had to have her fully trained by this summer (she was going to a pre-school camp, and they require the kids to be fully trained.) She was doing pretty well, then all of a sudden 3 weeks into camp she started to have accidents... constantly. This was a problem because if she continued to have accidents they were going to put her back in childcare with the younger kids. It was extremely hard for me to get her back on track, because she NEVER had accidents at home with me!! I knew what her problem was though... she didn't want to stop playing or doing whatever activity she was doing to go. I would have to take her home and explain to her why it was so important that she went to the potty. I did bribe her for a while, she got a dollar every day she didnt have an accident, and for everyday that she did have one, she had to give me a dollar back. She liked the idea of getting money, and would come home proud that she didn't have an accident! After a a few weeks the accidents were slim to none. She's in pre-school now which is nerve wracking because if the kids have more than 3 accidents, they are not allowed to go to pre-school anymore. Anyways... you basically have to wait untill she is comfortable enough. One thing I did with my daughter when she was younger and first starting out was I had a calendar with fairly large squares, I bought little stickers (small enough were she could put mutliple stickers each day) and every time she went to the potty she got to put a sticker on the day. This was another "pride" thing for my daughter. Good luck!!

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

http://www.learn2potty.com ~ Excellent tips! :-)

www.amazon.com has a ton of low price, cheap DVDs and VHS's. Currently, I am watching one right now called Potty Training 101.

When It�s Time for Potty Training

There are many wonderful ways to help our kids think for themselves and help them become wiser. The following is a story about Harry, who learned, along with his family, that potty training can be fun, for both parent and child.

Little Harry lives in a house that has two bathrooms � one upstairs and one downstairs. One morning, his father said, �Hey, Harry! You want to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?�
�Upstairs! Upstairs potty! Harry said.
A Love and Logic parent, his father smiled and said, �You want to have fun while we�re doing this, or not have fun?�
The great thing about choices with little kids is that they love making them � even when the options we give seem a bit silly to us. The decisions they make on their own make them feel important, leave them with a sense of control, and give them lots of chances to exercise their brains.
Harry looked at his dad as if he were crazy and giggled, �Fun! I want to have fun!�
�Great,� said his dad. �Do you want to bring a drink in with you, or do you want to wait until you�re done?�
�Wait till I�m done!�
�Do you want to bring Clarence, your stuffed sea otter, with us, or do you want to leave him?�
�Bring him!� Harry says, as he goes to retrieve his favorite stuffed playmate.
Now, Harry�s dad moves to the next step � modeling. Although some parents might find it a little embarrassing, modeling is the best way to teach your kids just about anything. Harry�s dad thinks it�s great.
�Hey! I really have to use the bathroom!� he says enthusiastically to his son. �Why don�t you come in with me? Let�s go. Let me show you how it�s done!�
He shows his son how he uses the bathroom. �This is so much fun! he laughs. �Someday when you�re big enough, I bet you�ll be able to use the potty like me! Then you can have fun, too! Boy! I love using the potty! I can even wipe myself! Check this out!� He flushes the toilet and waves, �Bye-bye!� as they look into the toilet.

The logic here is clear. Kids want to be like their parents. Whatever parents do, kids naturally want to be able to do, too. And if parents think it�s fun, kids will, too. So, parents have some choices when it comes to potty training:
� We can allow ourselves to become embarrassed and refuse to model this skill.
� We can fight with our kids over the issue and try to force them to be ready before they actually are.
� We can decide to have some fun, take the pain out of the process, and build strong relationships with our kids. How? Use lots of choices � and model, model, model!

When Parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.

When Accidents Happen

If you know how to ride a bike, you probably remember falling a few times before finding the right balance. When we�re learning something new, accidents are bound to happen. So it is with out children when they are not potty-training age.
Successful parents dole out empathy and say, �Oh, you had an accident! That�s too bad! I love you, Sweetie.� They take their time and don�t rush anything, because there�s no set timetable for potty training. Every child has his or her own unique schedule of development.
Some children potty train at two, some when they�re four, and some at every age in between. It all depends on the child. A wise parent locks in empathy and waits for kids to develop the skill on their own. Then, when a child is successful, a parent can say, �You did it! I bet that feels great!�
Unsuccessful parents have a pattern, too. When their kids make a mistake, they get upset, or angry. They say, �You messed your pants again! That�s not nice! We don�t do that! Now you better learn how to do this right! You�re going to sit here until you use the potty!�
You can guess what happens. The child sees frustrated parents, and the child gets frustrated, too. Like any task we�re expected to perform under pressure, potty training becomes an undesirable chore. What a bummer!
-END-

This is directly from Chapter Two, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. - www.loveandlogic.com

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