Potty Training - Wont Poop on the Potty

What would happen if you put him in underwear for the nap and refused to let him flush the toilet for pooping in the diaper (only if he poops it in the toilet does he get to flush it)? It is bound to be a messy nap, but...good luck.

Hi - Hang in there, he'll get it eventually. Honestly, this was the exact same situation with my son, now 3 1/2. He peed on the potty, wore undies for a good 6 months and would ask for a diaper to poop. Our pedi said to just give him the diaper & not to push the issue so that he wasn't holding it in and getting backed up. We did all the same things you did... then suddenly one day, on his own, he just got it. There was maybe a week transition where he pooped on the potty and would still want a diaper, but then, potty only. Pressure & bribery won't do it... Keep encouraging him, keep talking about the potty, etc. and if possible, maybe see if you can get him to tell you why he doesn't want to go on the potty... Talking helps some. Good luck! And don't stress, he won't go to high school in diapers I'm sure :)

My son did the same thing at that age. At first I tried everything I could think of to get him to do it...but nothing worked. I finally gave up...then, he went to preschool and realized other kids pooped in the potty. He came home one day during his frist week and announced he didn't need the diapers anymore. With my second son I didn't make any issue of it and he pretty much potty-trained himself in his effort to be a "big boy" like his brother.

I wouldn't worry about it..he is still young and I think it's a pretty common thing at that age.

Good luck!

C.

My son does the same thing. Nothing is working. I asked our pediatrician. She suggested watching Finding Nemo and explain that like Nemo, "your poopy needs to go into the ocean to be with his family". Unfortunately, we also flush the poop so I wasnt sure if it would work. It has not worked yet. The other thing I hear all the time is to just give complete control over to your child, and dont bring up the potty isssue unless he brings it up. This is so hard! I have my son go and get the pull up himself and put it on himself...anyone, I am learning that kids are ready when they are ready!

Hi R., I'm sure you'll get many Moms with this suggestion...try having your son wear 'big boy pants' inside the diaper. The regular panties will give him a more realistic sense of 'discomfort' if soiled in. Plus, he possibly may be motivated not to soil in his 'big boy' pants (make them R E A L snazzy ;)) and hopefully he'll sit down on toilet to look at them while poopin'. Good luck!...at least he goes in his diaper...my nephew use to sneak behind the couch to poop! Ugh! Be Peace, N.

This seems like a common problem! My 3 year old daughter is the same way. It's nice to know it's "normal". My advice is to just let them go in the diaper until they are ready. I never "trained" my daughter to pee on potty, she just announced when she was ready to wear underwear. I'm thinking (and hoping) it will be the same with poop. Good luck!

Hi R.,

I had this exact same situation with my son. He is now almost 5 and doing great in this area.

I consulted with a child psycologist on this and this is what she had me do: Make a "Sits" chart - this is just a calendar of the current month. Label the days (Sun - Sat) and the days of the week (1-31). You get the picture. Tell your son that your going to play a new game. Tell him you are going to do something special called "Sits". Every time he does a "Sit", he gets a sticker on the chart as well as a prize (something small like a few M&M's).

A "Sits" is to have him sit on the potty at least 3 times a day with NO expectation of doing anything. Even tell him, you don't want him to poop, just sit there for at least 3 minutes (since he's three). Praise him for sitting. Again, no expectation of pooping at all. Continue this for a few weeks and then change the game to the sits with an extra bonus treat (extra sticker or add a few more M&M's) for doing what we called a butt burp (aka fart) while on the potty for the sits. This will get him to start trying to push a little to achieve the butt burp. But again, if he doesn't no big deal. Praise him for the sits. Continue this until he decides to go poop on the potty on his own. No pressure. This needs to be his idea alone. Continue to give him the pull up to poop if he asks for it and treat it as no big deal (don't seem frustrated or he'll pick up on that and this process won't work). This takes a lot of patience but it does work. Once he's been doing the sits for a while (this may take months), eventually have a casual talk with him (just about when you can sense that there is no more tension about pooping in the potty) about a huge prize is coming once he does poop in the potty, when he's ready. This could be something like a trip to the Zoo or he gets to pick out any toy he wants at Walmart, etc...

I know this sounds like a lot of work, but it's worth it. This works with most kids. If it does not and you've given it your best and it seems as though he is just being stubborn, take away something he values. I have a friend who eventually had to say to her son "no more tv until you start pooping in the potty. I now this sounds harsh but tv is something he really loved and to lose it would be a big deal. Her son starting pooping on the potty in 3 days. You have to stick to your guns however with no giving in on the TV. Then it's praise, praise, praise from there every time he does poop in the potty. We even did a poo poo dance and song.

The main thing is that it has to be his idea when he's ready. Don't try to guilt him into it by saying things like "big boys poop in the potty". This will only make him feel bad that he could not please you and be counteractive to the goal.

Good luck and please email or call me if you have any questions or need support through this. This was one of the hardest things I went through with my son but had a positive outcome. By the way, this is very common with boys.

J.
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I just wanted you to know that this could have been written by me about my daughter! She will be 4 in July and still is not pooping anywhere but a Pull-up. She was VERY slow to potty train but has been awesome since she learned in December, but she is pretty clear in telling us that she won't poop in the toilet until she is 4 (she has said this repeatedly). Our dr. also told us not to push it, bribe, or threaten, because then kids can get angry and start holding it purposely, leading to much bigger issues that we don't want! So we backed off and basically remind her that once she is 4, the Pull-ups won't fit her anymore and she will have to go in the toilet. One good sign I've seen lately is that she pretends to try to poop after she pees sometimes, and she'll tell me this as she is sitting. I am happy with any little baby step in this department... come this summer, we'll see what happens! Just wanted you to know you are not alone. Good luck!

I hate to tell you, but you just have to wait it out. This is always the problem for most kids, boys especially. If you relax, he will too. Continue to praise him for peeing in the potty and don't worry about the poop. Reward him for trying, a little praise goes a long way. "Good trying Bobby." Praise him when he helps flush. Forget bribing for now - you can use this tactic later when he is a little older.

We had a HUUUUUGE issue with my son when he was that age... not anything I want to look back because now I know I was a lousy parent. We tried everything, from charts, threats, loosing priviledges (like no bed time story) to not making a big deal and pretty much ignoring it. We decided to not give him a diaper, so he ended up pooping into his pants. Subsequently I tried different things from just changing his clothes to having him wash out his underwear. As I said, now I am extremely embarrassed. Nothing worked, BTW.

At some point he seemed to get it. There was nothing that I remember that did the charm. I think he had to grow and really get control over his body.
I was pushing him too early. At 10 now, he is just doing fine, but he sometimes he has "poop"- issues with wiping and holding it in, if he is stressed. I am sure that it has to do with the ordeal I made him go through.

With my daugther I was apprehensive, and I talked to the pediatrician, who told us to give her a diaper if she asks for one and let her poop into the diaper in the evening or at nap time. We kept it as simple as that, but I also talked about using the toilet... and at some point it just worked.

I would say, it really depends on your kid. Talk to your pediatrician if you are concerned about it. And you will be surprised how many parents have similar experiences.

Good luck!

H.

you need to go bigger.. what does he love to do?? If it's go to say, Chuck E cheese or the park or something, then tell him he'll go when he poops.. then the next time he has to poop 3 times to get to go.. make sure it's something you can live it though! LOL Be aware, this is totally normal behavior. lots of kids think their poop is a part of them and they will be sucked down the hole.. sometimes just time fixes that (maturity).. good luck

I went through the EXACT same thing with my daughter. Try having him sit on the potty with the diaper while pooing first. When he gets comfortable with that you can cut the crotch out of the diaper so when he is in his diaper on the potty he poos into the potty. After millions of different ideas, including bribes, this is what finally worked with my daughter. When she asked for her normal pull-ups I told her,since you're such a big girl now, they no longer made her size anymore, they only make these for your size.

Like I said we tried a million different things before this worked for us. So most of all remain patient as hard as it can be and there will be a method that will work for your son.

Good luck!

Will he sit on the potty with his diaper on and poop in it then or does he need to stand and poop. Perhaps he just isn't comfortable sitting and pooping yet. Try having him sit on the potty and poop in his diaper to get comfortable sitting and pooping.

Hi Robin, I just wanted to tell you that I am having the exact same problem but my son will be 4 in May. It is getting quite embarrassing that he won't poop on the potty at this point! We have tried everything as well. Please let me know what other people say and if anything ends up working....