Potty Training Son Wants to Stand Not Sit When Peeing

Updated on February 18, 2010
L.R. asks from New Virginia, IA
22 answers

Hi Ladies

So I have a potty training question. I have just begun this with my son who is 19 almost 20 months. He has real interest in going to the toilet and has managed two poops on the big toilet (I have a seat insert for him). The trouble I am having is that he doesn't want to pee while sitting on the seat. He will pee outside while standing up quite happily. Anyone else had this problem? What did you do to overcome it?

Cheers
L.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the input, I guess the part I'm confused about is how and where to let him pee while standing? He is too little and even with a step it would be difficult at the big toilet. It is summer so I can let him go outside on the lawn but this doesn't seem like a good habit to start or I could try to get him to aim in his little floor potty or let him stand in the shower box and pee?

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K.I.

answers from Spokane on

Both my boys preferred to stand instead of sit to pee...we just instructed proper "handling", as to keep control and not make a mess. The messes will happen...it takes awhile for them to stop having fun with it like a fire hose! This was always Daddy's job...the teaching and the cleaning:)

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J.L.

answers from Davenport on

Let him stand. get him a short footstool and have his lean forward and put his hands on the seat (I know, yuck. Just keep a thing of wipes handy to clean it off first) But it helps him aim, and provides stability. I also had a friend tell me to train him sitting backwards on the toilet. They'll have to pee that way anyway, and it reduces any escaping.

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son never sat down either and i'm a single mom so i don't know why! I was so thrilled though because it's harder to teach them to stand up after they've already learned it the wrong way. I'm not sure why you'd want him to sit...be happy : )

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N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I do childcare..and generally train boys to sit facing backwards at first. They feel stable sitting this way, hips are thrust forward and they can begin to learn to "handle" things and aim and all that business. From there it is a quick succession to standing and proper aiming (3 mos for one I have in care now)...as they are already facing the correct way for pee'ing.

If standing is the only way he would do it....I would search for an appropriate stool....might be bulky in your bathroom...like a 2 step up wooden one..I have seen them at Target stores Locally in MN (I am searching for a taller sink stoool myself). Lots of reminders to watch what he is doing, maybe cheerios or fruit loops for aiming practice/focusing.....and have your Clorox or similar wipes handy for the throne and floor!

Personally I would never encourage going outside (nor am I a fan of putting potty seats in any room other than the bathroom), as it teaches that they can go potty anywhere...and realistically, the world is not like this and they can not do this (like at Grandmas, the park, or a store)...so I feel strong in my motto of "Begin as you mean to go on" (for most things in life! :-)

Good luck!!!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Does he watch daddy go potty standing up?

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

I am confused because in the "So What Happened" part you say it is summer, where are you?

In any event, if you ARE in the Southern Hemisphere, I suggest you not make things so hard on yourself, peeing outside isn't the worst habit and when he's older, taller and in greater control of his fire hose, you can insist he go indoors more often.

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I potty trained my son I had him stand at the toilet. At about 2 ½ he was tall enough to reach the big toilet without a stool so it never even occurred to me to have him sit to pee. There were definitel a few times when we first started to potty train that he would be in the backyard and would just pull down his shorts and start peeing! I would laugh so hard! It didn’t bother me, but I would redirect. He caught on eventually and would go in the toilet and not outside ever again thank goodness =-)

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

HI L.,

I don't see it as a problem at all. He will eventually pee while standing. He is so young at this point. I would just leave it as is.

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P.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

You are blessed to have him standing to do it!

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Find a stool tall enough for him to get it into the pot, or see if he will use a small potty. You are very lucky he is so interested! My son was 3 before there was even the slightest interest in potty training!

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

It looks like you're from Iowa, and if your son is willing to pee outside, standing up, at this point in the year, I'd say go for it! My oldest learned to pee outside, off our deck, when we lived in Washington state. He was so excited to go pee off the deck that he DID it, and it was not a hard transition at all to get him to pee in the toilet. He WOULD pee in the toilet, if he had to; he preferred to pee outside. In my opinion, it taught him to listen to his body and know when he had the urge to pee. Admittedly, we lived in the country. But now, we live in a subdivision, and my five year old son still pees outside when he's too busy to come in (and so do the neighbor boys, who are also 5). Depending on your neighborhood, you might be surprised at the number of parents-of-boys who have taught their boy to use the toilet that way!

Edit: I just saw your So what happened? My son is 26 months, and has been peeing standing up on our regular toilet with a plastic step stool for a number of months (not regularly; just occasionally before bathtime). Yes, it's awkward. We had to push his bottom in to get him to pee in the toilet, and the bottom line is, you have to choose whether you want to toilet train the easy way (letting him stand), the hard way (forcing him to sit, since that's not what he wants) or not at all (I have a friend whose husband is such a neat freak, he put their three year old back in diapers because he dribbled down the side of the toilet). Bottom line: yes, you'll be cleaning. A lot. Even my five year old has entirely missed the toilet on occasion (in the middle of the night) and I've found a HUGE mess of pee on the floor! My toddler doesn't have a good enough stream yet to get IN the toilet, but he knows what to do, and that's important to me. I just get out the Lysol wipes. Also, now that my two year old is a little older, he gets up on the stool, grabs the seat and the lid together with both hands, and mostly gets pee in the toilet. Although...if he is at all distracted, as he was yesterday, he turns, and the pee goes all over. If you have a rug anywhere close, I'd suggest removing it for potty training. You could try sitting him on the toilet facing in; my mother did that for my son when he was visiting her house, although he doesn't have strong feelings about peeing one way or another.

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Mine wanted to try standing for a while, so we did, with a step stool, but then he lost interest and starting sitting again. Mine actually started straddling the toilet seat backwards after the first couple of stands. He still thought he was standing, but he was actually just sitting backwards. :) You can do the small potty chair if you want, up to you. You are more likely to have mess if he stands, but he can be taught to clean up after himself too. The only other drawback to standing is that some boys have a hard time transitioning to sitting to poop if they are used to standing. But if he already getting the hang of that, just do whatever you are comfortable with. I think I would avoid the shower, I think that sounds like a bad habit too. Good luck with the training. I started mine really young too (18 mos). I find that not pushing it or making it stressful helps when they are this little. And not making him sit on it forever, I didn't want him to start rebelling because he hates sitting in there for 15 minutes. So off and on for months now we have just been taking it slow and doing it whenever he wants to, no pressure. He is now doing great, and I think he is almost ready for big boy undies, and we have had no stress about it all.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

Dear L., you are overcoming a problem that most mothers would love to have. Most of the time you have to train them to stand not sit while peeing. I would get him a regular training potty and let him stand to go pee. It might be a little messy at first til he gets taller.. But I sure wouldn't discourage him from doing it

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

my dad used to let my brother stand on his feet (my brother standing on top of my dads feet) it lifted him up high enough to do it. I wouldn't under any circumstances start him out peeing in the yard. very bad idea. on so many levels lol. when all of my boys were potty training we would put 3 or 4 cheerios in the water for him to "aim" at. put them in the middle not spread out or you will have him swinging wildly trying to get them all. not a good thing lol. good luck

N.W.

answers from Birmingham on

My son used a little training potty. That might help with the height difference. (not being able to reach big potty) I think it's easier to skip the sitting part all together. Why not? It was hard to convince my son to stand after he learned to pee sitting down. I coaxed him to aim at cheerios in the toilet. It worked. Good luck!

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J.E.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

L.-
If he is actually happy to pee in the toilet then LET HIM! Get a little kid's stool or a couple of phone books and let him pee away! How tall is your big toilet? Assist him in standing on the stool if necessary until he can do it on his own. It is absolutely GREAT that he is happy to do it so do not discourage that. You could try his floor potty but I never started that with my 5-yr-old and don't plan on it with my 1-yr-old. I guess I wouldn't encourage the shower either because that smells up the drain. Another idea would be to hold him with his feet on the seat and let him pee in the middle. Throw some Cheerios in and tell him to make lots of bubbles! Have fun!
J.

I.B.

answers from Wausau on

I don't have a boy, but I don't understand why other moms are encouraging you to have him stand. My husband sits, as does my father (according to my mom) and, I'm pretty sure, my brothers. At least they did while they were living in my parents' house... This means no pee dribbles ever. What a wonderful concept! I've been to friends' houses who have boys who stand to pee, and the floor around the toilet is disgusting! This tends to continue into adulthood- I've been in the homes of adult males with no kids around and found yuck in the bathroom. So I'm a big advocate of sitting. And of course, like other moms said, no peeing outdoors!

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L.R.

answers from Madison on

When your out and about, he can stand on your shoes to be tall enough to pee. Until my friend told be this, I had considered carting around a folding stool. ha ha.

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