Potty Training Problems

Try explaining to her that Poo belongs in the pot. Then if she asks for the diaper to go in, put the diaper in the potty chair and then she can go and eventually you can remove the diaper

Ask her if she will poop on the floor. Lay down paper towels for her to poop on then later to clean it up.

See if she will poop "standing" on the toilet seat. Some kids will do that.

Hi. My 3 1/2 year old son has been going through the same exact thing. He has been perfect with going pee-pee in the potty since just after his 2nd birthday. We really started to try the whole poopy potty thing at just before he was 3. Nothing has worked. He freaks out whenever we put him on the potty. He says he is scared of it. He does the same as your daughter--he gets his own diaper when its poopy-time, goes in it, we change him and then put him back in his underwear. I've asked SEVERAL people for advice (and I mean A LOT). I've gotten all sorts of responses. My sister-in-law was a director of a Montesorri Preschool and told me to just leave him alone at this point. When he's ready, he will go. She told me to stop trying to force the issue and ignore it. So, I just started doing that a week ago and things are much more calm around here. (We also have a 2 year old who is potty training--that's going fairly well by the way :) ). So, my advice (after trying a lot of different things) is to just let her be. When she is ready, she'll go. I really hopes this helps you out. If you find another solution that works, could you please let ME know? Thanks and take care.
J.

I think that Dr.Sears has some wonderful ideas....

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az7.asp

Best wishes.

You just described my son - that is exactly what he did. We did the poo-poo thing in the diaper for a while (a couple of months after we had the pee-pee down).
Then, when he would tell us he needed a diaper on we would sit him on the potty and say you sit here and I'll go get the diaper. We would leave him on the potty for about 5 minutes. In the beginning he usually didn't do anything but after a week or so of this he started going.

Don't let her be the boss now honey. It only get worse later. Don't give in to her. Tell her that she will get a treat after she goes "poopoo" like a big girl. Wear a head set and sit in the doorway until she goes if you have too. You could be nibbeling on a treat of your own because you went on the pottie like a big girl. Don't be afraid to show "what mommy or daddy did on the potty". Maybe she thinks she is the only on that does poopoo and she wants no part of that. Kids are something........wonderful

My middle daughter didn't want to poop on the toilet either. Since she would normally squat to go poop, I helped her past that by letting her squat on the toilet (with my help). She progressed from squatting on the toilet to sitting on the toilet with her heels on the seat (looked like a semi-squat). We were very patient with her and praised her for trying.

It's normal for kids who usually stand or squat to not want to sit on the toilet to go poop. Be patient! I know it's hard, but she'll get it eventually.

Don't force the issue. My parents made both of my sisters be "potty trained" before they were ready. For ten years after that, they both pee'd in the bed at night. Even into their early teen years, they had a problems with it. I've heard that kids aren't really ready to be CoMPLETELY potty trained till age 3. When my 1ST son was 3.3 and still asking me to put his diaper on so he could poo in it... I resorted to the "potty training boot camp" way. I think there's a book written about it. I saw it on a TV news story a few yrs ago. If you put a child into the "camp" this is what they do: It's still very loving, you just don't put a diaper on them (or underwear). They have all hard floors there -no carpet or furniture that can get ruined. You tell the child very matter-of-factly that when they have to pee or poop they will need to do it on the potty. After my son turned 3 - I planned a few days to stay home (so I didn't have to put diaper on -since he'd poop in it as soon as I put it on him -if we had to leave). He'd also ask to have a diaper put on so he could poo- and he'd wait to get a diaper on .. then he'd poo again! We did this for months too! It was frustrating and it told me that he was ready. So, on the day we were to stay home... I removed good rugs, etc. from the floors. I told him he would need to pee and poo on toilet and that if he didn't, he could clean it up. This may sound harsh at 1st... except that I also said- we all pee poo on toilet and if I had an accident on the floor- I'd clean up my own poop.. so if you happen to have an accident and pee or poo on the floor- then you can clean it up. SO, after running around all day without a dipper or underwear (it was warm out)... Then he started to poo and didn't make it to the toilet, most of it landed on the floor. He got nervous and tried to run to the toilet (I felt sorry for him and almost caved in) But then I stood by my word and still not in a punishing way. I told him I'd stand by him and I gave him wet paper towels to clean it up. Of course he DID NOT want to clean it, and begged me to do it. I stood firm -not mean or threatening, and reminded him in a very soft and calm voice that if it was me who had poo'd on the floor -that I'd clean it. I said I'd hand him the wet towels and I did. (Of course when he went to throw 1st round of towels away - I wiped up excess -and sprayed w/ disinfectant later) but he cleaned it up, all of it. Since that one day, he has never missed going poo on the toilet EVER again. Sure, now that he's 4 he's had tiny (almost fart like accidents) but not like other kids who were forced into being trained before age 3 -who have full-blown poop or pee in their pants. I swear by this method and will probably have to do the same thing with my 2nd boy who will turn 3 this May. He's already doing the same thing -only peeing on toilet. He will only pooop on the toilet if we; beg, plead, offer rewards, sit there with him, read books, do the "poop bomb cheerios" method. I got tired of trying to "convince them or reason with them. It just didn't work. I guess some kids just don't want to go, for fear or whatever and they need a little loving down-to-earth help. A wise teacher of ours said it's a control issure with the child who only will poop in the diaper. I really hope this helps you... good luck.

LOL she sounds EXACTLY like my youngest dd!
she was pee trained at about 2y 1mo (maybe totally by 2 mo) same thing though, she would bring me a diaper for poo poo. I would encourage her but never force. I told her she could have an M&M for poo poo on the big potty.....she eventually would make a rabbit turd. So she got one M&M...she still wanted to do the real deal in her diaper. FINALLY it just clicked. she is now 2y 7mos (it took almost 6 months though.

I have always been a big believer of letting PT happen when it happens though. I think 2 1/2 is pretty young.....so she is doing really well already!!

My daughter will be 3 next week and is just working on the potty training finally. Can't say I have a solution myself just yet but I did recently hear about something different. A friend recently told me that her friend would cut a hole in the diaper and have the kid sit on the potty. That way they had the comfort of the diaper, and afterwards can see that they did it in the potty. Maybe that will help!

My daughter was the same way. I gave her a pull up to poop in, but always had her try to go on the potty first. I honestly believe she didn't know how to go poop sitting down. Eventually she got it, and never looked back. Just have her sit for a few minutes first, increasing the time she sits gradually, and eventually, the poop will come out on the potty and she will have gotten it.

Good luck!

With all 4 of my boys I told them that if they we poo in the potty, they would get a piece of licorice, which they loved and were not allowed to have at any other time. Then we they had gone potty they could flush the potty and wave bye bye. It sounds really silly but it worked, my oldest son was completely trained at 26 mths, the twins were 27 mths and my youngest was done 1 week after his 2nd birthday. I hope you can get some use out of this. Good luck.

Put the diaper on the seat or in the bottom of the potty. Tell her she has to sit there and show her the diaper is there as well. Refuse to move the diaper. Gradually, she should feel secure enough to just go to the potty all of the time.

Hi there,
Your daughter sounds like my son! He had the pee down before he was 2, but would refuse to poop in the potty. He even went so far as to go in the tub after a bath and AFTER we had sat on the potty for close to 30 min(I knew he had to go). He waited until I went around the corner for a towel for 3 seconds and then went in the tub after it had drained. SO FRUSTRATING. Then I spent a couple of days just hanging around the house and would not let him wear diapers. He did not like that! He begged for a pair of shorts and as soon as I wasn't looking he pulled them off and pooped in the corner and quickly put then back on! He was a stinker. After several months (about 7-8)I got tired of knowing that he knew what to do so, I told him that if he did not want to go before we ran errands that I would not change his diaper until we got home. A couple of times sitting in it(for very brief periods) propelled him towards the "big boy" status. We also went to the dollar store and had him pick out a few toys that he could earn when he went x amount of times( and a bigger one for the bigger goals). But he made the best break through when we went to NC for vacation and we told him that if he went in his diaper, that he would have to sit in it for a l-o-n-g time as we would not change it until we stopped the car again. We had taken the little potty in the car with us. Lo and behold, he announced that he had to go and he refused to go at the gas station. We gave him the potty. He made us all get out of the car, shut the doors, turn our backs and he did it! He never had an accident after that. He was just plain stubborn. It was a control issue and I just had to tell him what would happen if he did not cooperate and after a few times of sitting in it and knowing what that was like(I also made him help clean himself up when he went in his training pants- we had stopped wearing diapers at this point)he got with the program! He was about 2 1/2 when it all came together. Hope that helps to know that you are not alone!
C.

I have a son so I don't know if this advice will help but he started out the same way wouldn't go poo poo in the potty but we either dumped his poop from his diaper into the toilet and let him say "good-bye" to his poop. I know this part might sound a lil gross but we let him see our poop after we were done. It must have worked because now he goes poop on the potty quite well.

Negotiate with her. Have patience as well. Compromise too. Tell her she can't watch her favorite show or play until she does. You know what she likes and does not like. It's all about negociation. Also, make it a good time and not a bad one. When she gets ready to go, use it as a playing game. Tell her when she's done, that you'll go next, tell her you was planning on making some cookies and you need help but she had to do that first. Do you kind of get what I'm saying? I hope so.

I hope that helps.

DM

Hi J.,

My daughter went thru the same thing. My doc told us that when she wants that diaper on to go poop, just put it on, but tell her that she must at least stand in the bathroom to do it. This went on for a while, when suddenly one day she went on the potty. I know it's frustrating, but once she actually goes on the potty, it'll be over! One other thing, is that we used to tell her that there is a pooop party under the house where all the poops party. Her poop is missing out! (I know that sounds weird, but I think it actually had something to do with it!) Good luck! Oh, and when she does finally go, make a BIG deal! We has all the neighbors cheering our daughter on once it happened!

Hi J.,
I'm a Grandma to a terrific three year old grandson who I care for three and a half days a week. God has blessed me with many many two year olds to potty train in my 30 years of child care. Each and everyone are different and learn at different stages. Elmo potty is excellent,alot of grat books at the library. Just praise her often and love her she will be there in no time and it will be something you can rejoice in. Show her how you do it and make it fun, sing I'm going poopoo how about you???? This is how I flush it away bye bye poo, now I get to wash my hand with lots of bubbles, I'm having such a good day.

I have noticed that some kids are very used to pooping standing up, and it is very different to be sitting. I don't know if you're using a training potty, but that might help, because sometimes sitting on a big potty with feet dangling makes it hard for kids to relax enough to poop. If a big potty is your only option, maybe a foot stool for foot support? Or try letting her use the diaper but get her to sit on the potty to poop in the diaper? Can she articulate her anxiety? My nephew said that he was afraid of getting flushed into Lake Michigan.

This is not unusual. Many children will hold back having bowel movements in the toilet. My daughter would 'hold it' if I wouldn't let her wear a diaper. I backed off, didn't make a big deal about it and just conveyed with confidence that when she was ready, she would use the toilet. It took a long time, but then one day, she just said 'I'll use the toilet' and she did.
J.

Honestly, I think they just have to be ready. My 3 1/2 year old son has been potty trained since Aug and just this past week starting going number 2 on the potty consistantly. I found the more we pressured him the more he freaked and would hold it. What we did start doing a few weeks ago is if he asked for a diaper we gave him one but he had to go in the bathroom to poop in it.

i think you should let her poo in her diaper until she's ready and not make an issue of it. this sounds exactly like me when i was that age and i had a traumatic situation of being forced by relatives to go poo on the potty and it has stuck with me all these years!
I am a parent now and i just think they'll go when they're ready. since it is a control thing, let her be in control and she'll do it soon enough. she's young!

Dear J. T,
Have you tried taking her into the bathroom with YOU while you're doing the #2 thing?I've found that that is the easiest way to handle this situation.My daughter was walking AND potty trained by nine months of age so I think I know what I'm talking about here and if that doesn't work...go to the bathroom with her when she says she needs to go #2 and explain to her that is GREAT that she trys to go on the potty chair.Remember to always reward her for going on the pot,too.
Sincerely,
D. Bean

I've got news for you: if she's telling you she has to go, even if she's asking for a diaper, she's toilet trained.

We should all be so lucky. My daughter's three and a half, and rarely lets us know she needs to go. So unless we take her to the toilet to pee or poop every hour or two, she'll go in her pants.

The one thing that worked for me was treats. I know many say not to reward with treats for whatever reason...don't know why, but it worked with my two girls. The pee pee is always easist. I pretty much figured out the time they went poo poo and gave them a treat for sitting on the potty and then another for going on the potty. No poo poo, no treat. Now the treats I used was like one chocolate chip or one M&M. After they got over whatever fear they had, they forgot all about the treats. They just went. Both of mine were between 2 and 2 1/2. I've just potty trained a little one I babysit and she's 19 months. She didn't really care about the treats, but I had to pay attention to her bowel habits and then start telling her every five minutes...no poo poo in your panties. If I saw her straining I would race her to the potty and make her sit until she went. She would fuss a little and at times even scream, but I would hug her and tell her it was okay. We painted her toes and went through body parts and spent much time just sitting on the toilet until I got her to poo on the potty (she just couldn't hold it anymore)...if she had an accident I scolded her pretty sternly. She really didn't like that and we would go through the whole "where does poo poo go" and she would repeat potty. I would do that for about an hour after she had an accident. She wouldn't have another for the whole week. She had one today but it was more my fault. She kept coming to me cyring and I would ask if she needed to go potty, but she would walk off and say no. I think she did but the urge would go and she would just say no. Then it just came out and she couldn't hold it. I should have put her on the potty when she came to me the first time, but I'm trying to get her to just tell me everytime...and it didn't work this time. Poor thing. But she's doing really well and typically only has one accident a week..and she's only 19 months so I think she's doing great.

Good luck and I hope you figure something out.

This was the exact post I would have written a week ago. We would put diapers on for naps and over night and that is the only time he would poo. When it clicked that he had complete control over his bowels I said I am done with diapers for naps and bought rubber pants in case of accidents. It sounds like you are past this stage. We have the story "Once Upon a Potty" and it talks about "Sit and sit and sit and sit". So we read that to our son over and over and over- convincing him he needed to do that. Sometimes he would get rewards for just sitting- stories, suckers, etc. He would hold it in until he couldn't hold it any longer. We watched for his normal disappearing routine and would sit him on the potty. Last night he got up on his own, walked into the bathroom and sat down and made a poo. He was so proud of himself. He is 2 yr 9 mo but they can do it. A lot of people insisted I was forcing him to do something but he was ready- he was just afraid so I helped him overcome a fear and I am not ashamed of that!