Potty Training Not Going Well

My oldest was like this also I tried everything then I finally told him that it was his responsibility and it was up to him. That was very hard but he was potty trained in two weeks when I left it to him and stopped pushing.

There are some helpful books out there.."Potty training in a Day" comes to mind (although I don't agree with all the tactics in it, you can get a few ideas from it like the first part about having her train a doll herself first ....) I found that appealing rewards that she chooses hereself can be very appealing...have her make a list of the things she really would love to have and work towards getting her favorite thing on the list with potty training! For instance, after 20 times going number one on the pot she gets to choose a prize from that list. After one time going number two....she gets a prize from that list..

My little boy hard a hard time going number two at first too. I ended up having to sit by him and hug him while he went or let him hold his blankey. I know - weird, but it helped and eventually he wasn't so nervous and could do it by himself. I also got to the point where I would let him walk around without his pants on (at the house) and leave the little trainer potty out and he would just walk over and go in it. Or if he started, I'd grab him and run him over to it. So- if you're in the living room watching a movie, just have the potty in the living room too! Maybe it'll help!

My son has also had a lot of difficulty. He is the same age and we started training him almost a year ago. We have learned that this can be a really damaging issue if you force it or get mad. Until he feels motivated within himself it won't happen and when we push it gets worse. So, we let him take the reigns and try our very hardest not to get impatient or angry. Some days he wants to go others he doesn't, but we must be doing something right, because lately he only wants to wear big boy underwear and when I went to pick him up from preschool the other day he was wearing the same pants he got dressed in in the morning. He still has accidents, but not until about three in the afternoon. I just have to tell myself it's about small steps and he won't graduate from high school in diapers.

I have four children who I am proud to say were not potty trained by me! They potty trained themselves. What I mean by this is kids will be potty trained when they are ready. My second oldest didn't potty train until two weeks before his 4th birthday. We tried everything--bribes, coersion, making him sit on the potty every 20 minutes...nothing worked! I finally gave up and just let him wear diapers (at the time I had two other kids in diapers, so I know how you are feeling!) Then one day he came to me and said, "Mom I want to wear big boy underwear." I explained to him that we weren't going back to diapers and he had to go potty on the BIG potty. He agreed and we have been diaper free with no accidents ever since (he's 10 now so that's a good thing!) My advice to you is don't stress about it and just let her wear diapers or pull-ups or whatever. When she's ready she'll come to you. I used this philosophy on all my other kids and it works great. Also remember that not every child "potty trains" at the same age. Each child is different. What may work for your friend or relatives kid may not work for yours. If people are looking at you funny because she is still in diapers just tell them to go jump in the lake and if they would like to take her and "potty train" her they are more than welcome! Ha Ha!

I agree that it may be time to stop the power struggle and pull back a little but I will tell you what worked for our little girl. We found the thing she really loved- it happened to be the little My little ponies... we called them potty ponies, if she went the whole day with no accidents then she got one. You can get a pack with six of them. We told her after she earned all of them with no accidents she could go out to the toy store and get a house for them. She was potty trained within the week- and best of all so proud of herself.
We had tried potty training forever... we didn't push it but we encouraged and tried everything off and on for over a year. What we learned is that when they are ready they will do it on their own. Hope you find a solution! Good Luck!

Take a break, now it has become a power struggle. Make sure she knows all the signs, she can feel when she needs to go, can pull up her pants by herself, that she can go all night dry. If yes to these, then give it a break anyway and maybe find out something she has a passion about. For my daughter she was just over three and Santa called, he told her how proud he would be to have her in big girl pants and potty trained, my daughter hung up the phone went and put on panties and we never looked back, I swear! The local rec center here does a thing you can sign your child up for a Santa call and tell them what you want him to say! It was a miracle! If she has a favorite charcater, have someone outside call to the house and talk to her pretending to be that character, take her to the store and let her pick out her own big girl panties and make a huge deal on how proud you are of her and tell her when she is ready she can wear them!!!!! Back off, now it has to be her decision as she is old enough to know what she is doing with the power play. If she cannot feel the urges yet, then it isn't time and it has to wait until she knows ahead of time and can hold it.

Hi! Dr. Phil had a wonderful show a couple of years ago with a segment on potty training. My kids are all adults, but I wish I'd had it when my daughter (also the oldest) was potty training! Whether you're a Dr. Phil fan or not, it's sure worth a look. Good luck!

Hi A.,
Everyone has given good advice! I want to emphasize taking the struggle out of the situation. Find a way that you are not upset every time she has an accident.

We're in the middle of potty training my 2 1/2 year old, and we went cold turkey and picked out undies and there are no more diapers during the day. While she's mostly "got it" and will go several days when she's completely dry all day, she also then goes through periods where she has several accidents a day, and it's hard not to get frustrated.

One of her preschool teachers gave us a great suggestion: When she wets herself, just have her take her pants and undies off, put them in the hamper and get clean undies and pants on. She says they'll eventually get tired of spending the time changing themselves. I thought this was a nice, gentle "natural consequence". I don't get upset, I just say "uh, oh! Better get changed!"

Just another idea to throw into the mix! Good luck!

L.
Life & Leadership Coach
www.buoyantlife.com

I had the same issues, I swore my daugter was going to be the only kid in college wearing pullups!! I know this is not what you want to hear...but she will do it in her own time. We did the same things as you, taking her to the bathroom every hour, cool alerts (didn't work either), big girl panties... nothing worked. She would walk around naked and have no accidents, but when she had to go she would go put on a pull up. Then suddenly she decided she was a big girl and started going on the potty. She still wore pullups, but never went in them. Finally she decided a month or so later to wear big girl panties during the day (we still have her in pull ups at night.) I understand completely what you are going through...but I am betting it won't be long for her. By the way...this all happened when she was 3 1/2.

Hi A.: Relax. You have 3 children, all in some form of diapers, and I guarantee that by the time they are all 12, they will be potty trained! Your 3 year old has just welcomed 2 babies in a short time meaning that when she was 1 1/2ish, you were expecting your 2nd child. If she is needing some additional attention now, she is certainly getting it with toilet training. Your one year old may also be ready to be acting out the new arrival. I would suggest that you don't make a big deal of it. Read back your own e-mail and hear how demanding it sounds. It also appears that the toilet training situation is the source of your stress. I doubt that and I would not want to see you put that on your 3 year old. Working full time with 3 babies seems to be the stressor. Perhaps letting her know all her underwear alternatives, and saying its okay when she is ready will let all of you off the tension hook of potty training. You might want to encourage her that when your 1 year old is ready, she can be a helper. I remember how many mothers told me how this or that was supposed to be happening for my daughter, and how they expected their children to meet certain time constraints. The pressure they put on themselves seemed unnecessary to me. I chose to expose my daughter to things all along the way and let her decide when she was ready, always being given two options. I guarantee you that the harder you shove, the less likely she will cooperate. I hope you have some time during your week to simply take a walk by yourself to evaluate your stress levels and have transition times between work and home. Sounds like you have a good guy on your side, but you are the one who needs those breaks. Don't lose sight that these times are meant to be easy. When your energy gets strained, those around you will feel it. Best of luck my dear. B.

The harder you push, the more she'll resist. Take a deep breath, step back, and let her find her way. Encourage her when she goes potty, but don't show disappointment when she goes in her trainers. Be on her team, encourage her toward your goal, but don't push. She'll make the transition when she's ready, and all children are ready at different times.

I had a daughter who was four years old by the time she was completely potty trained, but that was because for a long time I was getting frustrated and she was feeling my frustration. One Saturday afternoon she actually went over to her little rocking chair, pooped in it, and left it there for me to see. Talk about rebellion! Following that incident, I spoke to a wise older mom who had raised 6 children and asked her for advice. She said, "BACK OFF!" She said my daughter was resisting me because I was pushing too hard. Within two weeks (of me not paying any attention to it when she pooped or peed in her trainers, but being really encouraging when she used the potty), she made a complete transition from trainers to the potty.

Before I actually "backed off" I had a conversation with my daughter. I told her that I wasn't going to nag her anymore about potty training and that she could do whatever she was comfortable with (talk about a leap of faith!). I also told her that as soon as she went one full day without wearing training pants (and using the toilet exclusively), she would get to wear "big girl panties." We went that day to buy 4-5 pair of "big girl panties" and I put them in plain view on her dresser. She was so excited about the panties that it took just a couple of days for her to earn her first day wearing them. Of course, there were setbacks and accidents in the days that followed, but we were done in a couple of weeks.

By the way, my next daughter was fully potty trained by the time she was 2-1/2 years old. I believe part of it had to do with her personality/character - she was a quick learner in everything (and still is), but I know it had a lot to do with my more relaxed attitude about it and the fact that I didn't push her into anything.

Hope this helps - it really worked for me.

Hi A....Don't know how much help I can be to you, but I know EXACTLY what you are going thru, and I know it can be a very frustrating time!! My son, (who is now 36 yrs old) was 4 before I finally got him trained, and my daughter who is now 17, was 3 1/2! I talked with my sons pediatrician about this, his reply was that my son was just ''playing games'' with me. (he would go potty at the babysitters, just not for me!). So I sat him down and we had a talk about it, within 3 days he was going to the potty for me too!! Yippee!! My daughter, man I tried every trick in the book and beyond. Eventually, she did it. I think the best approach, is just let nature take its course. (Not to mention you gotta have patience!! Lots of patience!!) Every child is different, and every child will get the hang of it in their own time.

I had troubles with my 4 year old. I hated the training pants, and pull-ups. they provided too much comfort for her. I had a recommendation from a good friend of mine and how she trained her son & daughter: let her run around the house naked from the waist down. she'll get the feeling, won't like it and will work her way to the toilet. Know that going #2 is the hardest for some kids to learn. I did this for two weeks straight and it worked. Now, when we went out I made her go before we left, when we got to where we were going, when we were leaving (within reason), and then when we got to the next place. I did use pull ups when we went out, but not the cool feel ones. Also, another helpful hint that was given to me is to keep the "training toilet" in the bathroom, don't put it in any other room. Take a half hour or so, go in there with her, fill her with her favorite drink and have her sit on the potty. Keep this up until she goes, when she does, make a HUGE deal that this is great. I tried this too, it wore on my patience and I couldn't stick with it. But what I did stick with is making a HUGE deal when she did go. It may sound silly but I really went all out and made a big deal, we got to call grandma (she lives in another state). Anyway, she really liked getting special treatment for this. This really worked for us in conjunction with the letting her run "free" as stated above. I am a SAHM that works part time from home so I had a lot of time to let her run free. The most important advice I can give is to be consistent. You and your husband need to be consistent on your training methods or this will give her mixed signals. Hope this helps.

Don't stress it is more important to give her comfort than to stress they have some great books to read to children about the joys of pottying. Try offering a play group or activity that she wants. Let her know if she wants to do it she is required to potty in the right place. Let her know it is important to you that she learns this skill and helpful for her too. If that doesn't work wait for summer take panties pants everything and then get ready to run for the potty. Desperate times make for desperate acts. Keep your sense of humor and don't back down. As long as she gets it before 5 it is all good. Good luck kids are hard we all worry.

I also have three children, and just as you have I have tried everything to get them potty trained. Our daughter is 5 and was fairly easy, then we had twin boys. They are 2 1/2 and I am trying to potty train them. The things that have worked well for me is to set a timer every ten minutes (for the first month) and take them potty every time it rings. It is best if you are at home and believe me this is a lot of work. If you have a child care provider who is willing to help that is a huge plus. Mine took a while to get on board, but she now is and things are going much more smoothly. The other thing that has worked is to call peeing the same thing always and pooping the same thing always. The other thing that has worked for rewards rather than stickers or treats is money and a piggy bank. We are trying to help our kids save, so we use quarters for #1 and half-dollars for #2; however, my friend uses pennies and nickles and it works the same. After they do their duty immediately give them their coin and let them drop it in the piggy bank. Once it is filled we go to the bank and put it in the savings account, and a treat afterward. It has worked very well with all of our kids; however, we have had our share of accidents.......just keep trying. We have been at this process since November and we aren't completely trained. Some days we are accident free and others we spend most of the day in the bathroom changing our clothes. Good Luck!

I had this same issue with my first daughter. She was 3 1/2 and just didn't want to get potty trained. She knew when she was wet, she knew what to do, she just didn't want to do it. What happened is that she didn't want to stop playing to go potty. It was much more convenient for her to keep playing and deal with going potty when she was done playing. Because of this she had zero interest in getting potty trained. We tried everything. She had to clean up after herself when she had an accident and I tried not to make a big deal out of it. Unfortunately the only thing that got her potty trained is that she had a bad case of fire diarrhea and I was finally able to convince her that if she just went potty in the toilet it wouldn't hurt so bad.

My brother in law also had the same issue. My mother in law started making him clean his own poopy diapers and that fixed the problem very quickly. With my husband she spoke to him and told him that nobody could potty train him except for himself. Only he knew when to go to the bathroom and only he could make sure he got himself there in time. That worked for him.

I guess what I am saying is you have to figure out what is keeping you child from wanting to get potty trained. At this age I think it isn't that your child doesn't know what to do; it's that she doesn't want to do it for some reason.

A.,
I have two boys, 12 and 14 now, but when it came to potty training, I took my cues from them. Especially after my oldest told me he didn't care about the skittles...so I let him wear the diaper until one day he said (and he was 3 if I remember) I am going to put my poop and pee in the potty and after that we had only had one accident...)We had a great silly movie called potty time...watched it so much that I can still say sing the song...my younger son, said at 18 mo, I'm putting my poop and pee in the potty and that was it never had to buy another diaper...the thing was I didn;t have to drive myself crazy about it...I just let them figure out!

My son is about the same age and we are going through the same thing. Pull ups did nothing, going poddy with Papa and Daddy did nothing, little rewards did nothing, in fact he got bored with them. I am giving it another shot right now. I have found that he has most accidents in the morning, so I have started to take him in the bathroom about every 20 minutes until he gets in thr groove for the day. I know this is may be unrealistic with more children at home during the day, but if you can take your child every 20 minutes, it has started working. I think the biggest part for my little guy, is realizing he is not missing anything, Diego will be there when he gets back. I also try to go at the same time, so it becomes part of "everyone's" routine. In regards to "number 2" my son won't do that either, he did at first, but now, flat out refuses. Since he has been able to get some pretty cool big boy undies, I let him know if he messes in his big boy undies he may have to wear a pullup. He really doesn't want to do that. We are still working on it. Best of luck

Hey, so my son seemed to take forever as well! I really wanted to start him in some sort of pre-school program for the socialization since I stay home with my children and have all their lives... Anyway, when we finally got that fed up, we (actually my husband) took a day and took him to the toilet every 10 to 15 minutes. He kept him in regular underwear that day and set an egg timer depending on if he went the time before for 10 to 15 minutes. By the end of the day, he was recognizing when he needed to go, and telling us. It was incredible! We started trying to potty train him at 18 months when his brother was born, so it seemed like it took forever! He just wasn't ready. But he got a skittle every time he went and a handful when he went poop. Good luck!

At 3 1/2 it is not because she doesn't know how, it is because she is choosing to keep that power over you. If she is able to do it some of the time, she knows how to tell when she has to go. She knows it is something you cannot truly make her do.

Tell her that there are so many new babies in the world that they need all the pull ups and diapers they can get. Collect them all in a big bag and put them out on the porch one night for the "baby fairy". In the morning the baby fairy will have left her a great surprise. You can then switch the bag for new undies, and some kind of prize.

Your daughter sounds just like mine. The only thing that got her to do it... school. She really wanted to go to school. While visiting her sister at school we ran into the preschool teacher. I asked her to talk to my daughter and tell her she can not go to school unless she is completely potty trained. She had to be able to do everything herself. It worked! It still took some time to get the kinks out but by the end of the summer she was ready.

Try this if she wants school, dance lessons, sports ect.She sees you having time with younger siblings, so she might not want to give that up yet. Have her help you cook dinner if she has a day dry in panties or another big kid reward.

Good luck. Then end of diapers will come soon.

I would suggest letting your daughter go bare bummed during the day. Let her wear a dress with no pull ups or training pants. This seems to make them more self aware or their bodies, and will help her use the potty. Pull ups, I've found, are essentially a diaper substitute to little kids. They don't understand why they should go through the extra work of using the potty! Keep the porrty close and be prepared for a mess or two. Trust me this really worked quickly for us, without the struggle.

I got my son a potty watch. It is in the shape of a little toilet and sings every so often to remind them to go potty. It made him responsible for it instead of us. Worked like a charm. Got it at Macey's

We really struggled to get my son potty trained. He was over 3 when we started and almost 4 before we found something that worked. He was a nut for Lala from Teletubbies. So we bought him one that talked. Every morning before he left for work my husband would take the voice box out of Lala. During the day as my son went potty we would call my husband and tell him Kody had just gone potty. He would tell him how proud of him he was. A minute or two later, Lala would call my son. This went on for weeks. Every night before he went to bed we would put the voice box back in the stuffed Lala and repeat the process. It took about five weeks. My husbands boss was none to sorry to see this end believe me but it worked.
Good Luck!

My daughter is 4 1/2 and is just barely getting to the point of staying dry because she WANTS to. She wears panties, and when she wets them, she is expected to change them herself and get on clean panties and pants and put the dirty ones in the laundry basket.

The "cool alert" training pants are a complete marketing gimmick and a total waste of money, in my opinion. Also, the design ones don't do much good unless your child runs around without pants all day.

I think it's good that she puts clean panties on herself. I found that although panties are messier, my daughter had more responsibility to take care of herself. Try keeping extra panties and underwear in the bathroom where your daughter can reach them and don't let her come out until she has clean pants on and has put the wet ones in the laundry basket. (Or at least has the wet ones in hand to take to the laundry room or wherever they need to end up.) By giving your daughter more responsibility, she will soon realize that it's just easier to stay dry!

I didn't have as much problem with "number 2", but when accidents happened, I helped her hold tight to her panties and flush the poop down the toilet herself and rinse them with a couple flushes.

I think the sooner you start with giving her responsibility, the quicker she will want to train herself. I think I waited too long, which is why it took so long with my daughter. Good luck and I hope this helps!

Hi A.!

Have you tried putting underwear under her pull-up or diaper...this helps get that wet feeling and makes it a little uncomfortable. Also, if you have any friends with little girls that are using the potty, peers are a great way to get children interested in going. There is also a program that I read about where you have her drink water for 15 minutes and then sit on her own potty for 15 minutes (with books and games, of course) and continue that for the 6 hour day....more intensive, but researched to be successful. Hope this helps!

I only have one child so I have no others to compare to but from what I have heard, girls are the hardest to potty train. I do agree with another post about the pull-ups. They are diapers for bigger kids. I did try them but they are more expensive than diapers. When my daugher was potty training, my mom or I would sit her on the potty and she would sit there for 30 min sometimes and NOTHING!!I let her pick out her own "big girl panties" so she would feel involved/special/important. As soon as she would go outside to play, she would have an accident. She was so upset that she was wet and was wearing her "favorite" panties that I guess she decided if she wanted to keep wearing them, she would have to make sure they stayed dry. She was 3 1/2 at the time. I don't know how long it took since that was almost 5 yrs ago but it seemed like forever. Maybe including her in some choices/decisions about her potty training may encourage her.

you have to read "potty training in less than a day" I swear it works! you spend a day teaching them how to do it (a whole day just you and her doing it together) if she wets herself, she has to clean it up and she learns fast that it isn't fun and she may as well just go in the potty. no more diapers though! It was written for people to teach handicapped adults and children to take care of themselves when it comes to the toilet. it is old, but it totally works! good luck.

I'm in the same boat. my son is 3yrs 2mos and will not get it the whole potty training thing over with. He's totally willing to go poop and pee on the potty if you remind him, but will deny that he has already gone in his diaper (even if you can smell him across the room). We too have tried underwear and the cool alert pull-ups, but it doesn't seem to matter. Bribes don't seem to help either. I am anxious to see the suggestions others come up with.

You might try taking her in for a checkup. I toilet trained 8 children and when my 9th one wouldn't train (and I tried everything)I found out she had a medical condition that physically made it harder for her. She is 7 and still has a few problems, but at least I don't feel like a bad M. any more and she doesn't feel like a failure.

Linnea

Oh honey let me tell you!!! I have had the same problem with my son. He will be 4 at the end of April and we are FINALLY getting in a forward motion with the whole potty training stuff. What worked for me is putting him in big boy pants and then telling him "Son, if you get your big boy pants messy-- mommy will take away TV/activity (his favorite pastime...)". He can earn TV/activity back by going poop in the potty that day. We only take away the TV/activity for the current day. I believe each day needs to be a new start for him/her and you. You could try that with your daughter. It is hard because you don't really want to "punish" them for not being potty trained but I don't think having consequences for undesirable behavior is the same as punishment. Pull-ups did nothing for my son either. We have gotten to the point where he is in big boy pants for the day and pull ups at night. With a new baby coming in 8 weeks I would LOVE to only have one bum to buy diapers for!!!
Good Luck to you (& her for that matter!)

Hi A.,
I have walked a long road of potty training. I am a mom of three girls ages 6,4, and 2. I also babysit for another mom and her girls are 6 and 3. The first thing that I can say from my experience is the most anoying but true, Relax! This is the hardest thing to do when you're potty training, but if you are up tight about it you are giving your child leverage to get your goat at any time they chose. So take a deep breath. Potty training is a process. Don't be in a rush to have it perfected in one day or one week or even in one year. You want to bulid on success for you and your child. You need to figure out how to be a team. So ask yourself what will success look like today? Will we both feel successful if she sits on the potty once a day/ Once every hour for five minutes even if she dosen't go? What can you both realistic accomplish together? Also I have noticed that as I have gone a long I have had several regressions on the potty training, based on what my little ones were putting their focus on. My middle daughter potty trained herself at 18 months and rarely missed, until she started preschool and suddenly we had accidents everywhere! But as the school year went on she figured out how to put some of her focus on school and focus on toileting too! Patience is key. Do Not Compare your child to any other child and their abilities. This will make you feel like a real failure and you will not be able to cheer your daughter long at all. If she starts to do well and suddenly starts to miss just say you'll do better next time and move on. Let her know that you are on her side. If you can be calm she will be more motivated to do the work too. Give yourself a break as well it seems that you're being very hard on yourself because you feel desperate, but I'm sure that you're doing a great job. With one of mine I have found that motivational charts are good. For every five times they make it to the potty they get to go get an icecream cone. Not five times in a week just five times at first then eventually they are very anxious for the teat it will take no time to get five stickers on the chart and so I had to change the reward to a movie from the movie store or a trip to McDonald's if they make the whole day in dry panties. Be careful to make sure that the two of you are succeeding together. If there is a day that your own emotions are up and down probablely not a good day for either one of you to work on potty training. So take it slow and easy and you will get there. All the best from a mommy who's been in your shoes many times.

Well I actually had that problem with my youngest, I actually tried all the tricks. I finally resorted to tough love. I said things to him such as oh gross you peed in your pants. Only babies pee their pants. Are you a baby. I didn't yell or raise my voice I just actually made it feel totally like a gross thing to do. And you know what he was potty trained two weeks later. Of course I used praise and such when he did go potty in the toilet.Good luck to you, in this adventure. Believe it will happen in good time :)

A.
I so know what you are going thru! we were in the same situation, maybe try stepping back and giving her a few weeks then try agian sometimes it takes time. when we did this with our daughter, the second time we tried It was like magic it only took two days and we have been accident free for 6 months or so. Good luck to you!
L.

I just bought my son the potty time watch today and already he has gone on the big potty 4 times. You can go to their website to see if a local retailer near you sells them, if not you can buy one online. It is the coolest thing ever and my son already loves his! They are only ten bucks so not too much of an investment if it dosen't work! Good luck

http://www.pottytimeinc.com/

I just finally got over the hump with my 3-year-old on the potty training issue last month. It sounds like you have the same problems I had, and honestly, it's from lack of consistency. It took me about a week of solid work to get her there. My problem was that she stays at home with her dad, so he would put a diaper/pullup on her during the day, and when I came home from work, I'd change her into underwear. You really should just put underwear on her and not switch back and forth with diapers and underwear. I'm speaking from experience! I know it's frustrating cleaning up the messes, but she's getting mixed signals since she can pee in her pullup and it's okay, but then it's not okay in the underwear. We left her pants off so that it would be easier for her to get the underwear off when she needed to go (and she doesn't like to wear pants at home anyway). And I gave her lots of liquids and took her to the potty every half an hour, dragging her there really. I got a plastic cover for her bed in case of nighttime accidents and didn't let her drink too much before bed. I didn't reward her except to tell her how proud I was of her, because sometimes the bribes don't work anyway, as you know. I just got her pretty underwear and told her that she needed to keep them clean. I got some of the gerber underwear too that's a little thicker in case of accidents on the way to the potty. The pooping on the potty thing was harder and nastier to clean up, obviously. We went through a lot of bleach. I just had to catch her making the poop face and hiding in the corner, and drag her on the potty. Even if she didn't make it on time and only half of the mess made it into the toilet, she still learned each time we went. I still have a few messes, because she can't wipe well still, but now she goes on her own every time or tells us she needs help. Do you have a stool that you can put in front of the toilet? That helps them, because they don't feel like they are dangling in mid air, if they can have their feet on the stool. I don't know if any of that helped, but don't worry, you'll get there. It just takes consistency.

One thing that has definately given us a boost with potty training is have a playdate with another little girl my daughter's age, that IS potty trained. My daughter saw that the other little girl was going on the potty, and she was very interested in that. She isn't TOTALLY potty trained yet, but we are in big girl panties all day except for naps and bedtime.
Good Luck!
J.
http://www.iambabycrazy.com/jessicaj

I've had a very VERY hard time with my VERY stubborn son, who also just finally got potty-trained at 3 1/2, started training at 2. I would suggest throwing away all pull-ups and diapers (have her do it) as a bye-bye babyhood "ceremony", then take off her underwear and pants and let her go naked, with a long shirt to cover -- only at home when it's just your family, and even if she doesn't like it -- and when she stays dry she can have pants again.
it worked like magic with my son - he knew there was nothing to catch the stuff and he didn't like it going on the floor, he'd run to the potty every time. Keep it up for long time to build the habit, keep her at home as much as possible to do this. I also had a reward system to go with it. After several successes (kept track on a sticker chart) he got a HUGE reward, like going someplace special (the store to pick his own toy, the park, etc). then after a couple months of being naked we put pants back on, and when he stayed dry a few days, he got an even bigger reward - a trip to Outer Limits play place. He had a couple accidents after that, which he was disciplined for being lazy, but he's been doing very well after that.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but maybe you should drop the potty training for a month. Just go back to diapers (or use the pull-up kind) and let it go. She's probably ready, but she knows that it's one thing she has complete control over and she's not going to do it until SHE wants to do it. Getting upset about it is, well, just making all of you miserable.

I tried for at least four months with my son and was at my wit's end, too. I finally just forgot about it for two months and let him use diapers again. Then I took him to what would be his preschool and then told him he couldn't go unless he used the potty. The next day I asked if he wanted to try again so he could go to school and voila! potty trained in under a week. He just needed something to motivate him and to decide that HE wanted to do it for himself. (He was almost 3 1/2.)

Remember she won't be in diapers forever. Best wishes.

With my daughter, she was sort of half-hearted about the whole thing until I just put her in underwear and said that was it. She wet herself a couple times, didn't like it, and decided the potty was better! She didn't really even have very many accidents. She was 2 yrs old at the time. I bet your daughter has the capacity to be potty trained; just take her out of pull-ups. They are made too well--even the cool alert ones. Kids can't really feel when they are wet.

Hi A.~
Our son is going to be 3 in March and has been potty trained for 2 months now. We tried lots of things...but here's what really got him interested...we bought him underwear with his favorite characters on them. He was so excited! We got this idea from our daycare provider who told us that she potty trained her daughter by buying her underwear, she let her pick them out so her little girl was very excited. So was our son, I think it makes them feel more involved in what is going on if you let them pick things out to help them potty train. Don't get me wrong, our son did have accidents, but only a few. It seems like they catch on faster when wearing underwear because of course they don't want to be wet or have an accident in them because they will be all wet, not like when wearing a diaper. When we tried to train our son using pull ups he was kind of interested but would lose interest fast...he said 'i don't have to use the potty, i wearing a diaper'. So he translated the pull up as being a diaper so he didn't pay as much attention to having to use the potty, as when he started wearing underwear. Does all of this make sense? :) I hope I'm not rambling. :) Also, our son still wears a pull up at nite but 50% of the time he waits until morning to use the potty. But just having him use the potty for #1 and #2 on his own during the day is such a blessing! :)
I hope this helps you and I'm sure your little girl will be potty trained soon :)
Let me know how she does!
T.

As unremarkable as it seems, all you have to do is have her see you go to the bathroom. This worked with our daughter -- I was responsible for her; and my son-- my husband was responsible for him. Don't take her to bathroom every hour -- this has not proven to work. Avoid blowing this out of proportion because it will only make things worse.
We never really "trained" them in the usual sense, and bothwere potty 'trained' in a matter of weeks; and, we never had any privacy issues either because they also learned that this is something we do alone in private. Kids are pretty smart and like to imitate their parents -- take advantage of that. Good luck. A.