Potty Training My 2 1/2 Year Old Son

Updated on May 04, 2008
P.P. asks from Dothan, AL
25 answers

I have been trying to potty train my 2 1/2 year old son. I have put him on the potty first thing in the morning. I let him run around naked when we are home and just about every other thing I can think of. He still refuses to use the potty. He will tell me when he has peed in his pants, but he won't tell me before he goes. Any advice on how to handle this would be great. He is also ADHD and Autistic. Thank you.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the wonderful advice. I have been letting him wear underwear at home. I brought his potty chair in the living room and it has seemed to help some. This morning he did poop in the potty, but we are still having trouble peeing. As far as his autism, it's a mild form. They will do more test when he is older. His ADHD diagnosis came early because his father had it when he was younger and still has it now. My son is now telling me when he needs to be changed and will even bring me diapers. I'm going to continue at his pace and hopefully this will work. Again, thank you to everyone.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.H.

answers from Lawton on

hi beth my name is V. and i live in altus i also am raising an autistic child as well he is now 6 years old and i had a hard time poyyt training him also but he eventually got it down pack but he never used a pot just the big stool,but until then i always used pull ups on him and hes a big boy also he wears a size 14 and hes only 6 years old not fat just solid.well hope this helps you can they are not gonna do it until they want to.bye

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Tulsa on

Hello,
I started potty trainging my son as soon as he started to walk. Just giving him the idea of it. He didn't always sit but just that he went in the bathroom was good. Then we moved on to sitting on the potty. At first he didn't want to. Which is normal. So I went on line and found potty songs. Yes, potty songs. I know that sounds strange but, it worked. I had several different pages tapped to the bathroom walls with the words and my son would pick the song he wanted to sing. It made him sit longer and not think about it. Then when he was interested in standing to go "number one" I would let him through some cherrio's in the potty to "aim" at if you know what I mean. It did take a while to finially get him to go but, keep him interested, make it excieting to go potty. By the time he was 21/2 he was potty trained!
Good luck!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Tulsa on

HI, can your son peddle a tricycle?j if not he is not physically capable of holding his urine or controlling his bladder. 30 months is early for potty training any child and the fact that you work and he is not with you all the time adds to the confusion. with his medical issues you are really adding to your own frustration.

Kids aren't going to potty train until they are physically and emotionally ready and forcing the subject only frustrates you both and actually delays the process.

I know diapers aren't free and the alure of no diapers is strong. but just relax, enjoy him for who he is.

We are always introduced the potty and how it works, left it in the the bathroom and let him guide the timing. My best friend has 4 boys and taught me this technique. between us they all potty trained at differet times from almost 3 to almost 4.

Good luck sweetie, just don't push him to be bigger than he is.
Punishment is not effective with any child but especially with an autistic one. I worked with autistic children all thru college and still do on a voluntarry basis. They are loving, unique, great kids but like anyone have their own time table.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Your only mistake is expecting him to be trained quickly. If he has the other problems, it will take longer.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I thought my 2 1/2 year old son was never going to be potty trained--but it happened! We did a lot of what you are doing, but it took patience. At home we let him wear his big boy pants and he would just go in them and then come tell us that he "needed a new one", meaning he would need a new pair b/c he messed in them. One day he came up and said he needed a new one and he didn't, but he needed to go. This was about a month ago and he hasn't had an accident yet. He is really big into trains, Thomas the Train and the such. He heard my husband and I talking about potty TRAINing him and he thought the potty was a train! So, I went out and got all the thomas the train sickers I could find and put them all over the toilet and I told him that everytime he used the potty he could get a sticker. Once he started using the potty he didn't want his sticker b/c he didn't want to take them off the "potty train"
Remember that all children are different and what works for one child might not work for another.
Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

I've heard that sitting on a potty, even the little ones, can be scary for a little child They worry that they'll fall in, or something like that. Probably also feel awfully exposed and vulnerable!

Maybe you can get him acclimated by showing him a stuffed animal sitting on the potty. Show him that the doll doesn't fall in. Tell a story to go along with it, and in general always be very gentle and encouraging, however frustrated you might feel. You can also sit on the adult potty (pants on if that's more comfortable, or have Dad do a little demonstration) and say, "See? This is how everybody does it." You can even joke that Daddy calls it his throne, and even likes to read there :)

Good luck!
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.L.

answers from New Orleans on

Have you already tried the pullups that change color to let you know that they are soiled??? Since your child is Autistic and ADHD it may take him just a little longer than some to get motivated. Also, if you have an older boy in the house or nephew that he looks up to they can go with him and show him how big boys go to the potty! You can also reward your son with story time at night for going to the potty, it may give him an incentive to try going on his own!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Houma on

You may have it harder because of the autism. In my kids' school there are quite a few autistic children. I know two inparticular still wear diapers. I would assume it depends on the degree or severity of the autism. Keep trying it. My youngest son is now 4. he has not been diagnosed with anything and he didn't want to potty train until he was almost 3. If I remember correctly he was a few weeks shy of the third birthday. Persistence eventually pays off.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Norfolk on

First, two 1/2 is still a bit young for a neurotypical boy to potty train. Many autistic children have sensory problems too that interfere with potty training. I know how much it bites to change diapers and training pants on a toddler. I went through it with my son, who is autistic, and my older daughter now. He potty trained completely both day and night at about age 4. Having him in the early childhood special ed classes really helped him with day time toilet use. Do you have him in any special preschool? These are available through the public school systems. With his diagnosis, you should be able to get early intervention services that will make a huge difference in the severity of his autistic symptoms.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Tulsa on

My doctor told me the "key" is getting them to realize the "feeling" before they go...and also said some take longer than others..! Is your day care working w/him? It's a constant routine..good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Mobile on

As the mother of a now almost 6 year old boy with mild autism, I thought I'd share our experience. I started trying to have him potty train around 2 yrs. I didn't know he was autistic until the past couple of months. We knew he had a language delay at 3. He freaked out and refused to use the potty, no matter what we tried: stickers, rewards, candy, etc. Anyway, one day when he was 3 1/2, he decided to go by himself. It took him until he was 4 to stay dry during the day. Once I left him alone, he did it. I don't know if it had anything to do with his autism or not. The bottom line is: I think kids will go when they're ready. Don't stress and know that he'll do it in his own time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Birmingham on

Read the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. This should be very effective for an Autistic child. These 2 men have even developed methods for training mentally retarded children and adults, and this method is nearly the same. Anyway, you can't lose anything by reading the book.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.L.

answers from Tulsa on

Since you don't say to what degree he has either affliction, it is hard to offer advice on this subject. Autism can cause him to be very difficult to potty train, as can ADHD. I suspect that the ADHD is your biggest obsticle, though.

Here are a couple things that I have had luck with...

Try using Cheerios or Fruit Loops as targets in the toilet for him. Make a really big deal about him hitting the target. Tell him how fun target practice is. If you use Fruit Loops, then you can also help him learn his colors with this- have him just shoot the green ones one time, then the next time switch to blue... You get the idea?

Another thing that worked with my older brother was that he got to pee in a jar. I know, it sounds trivial and gross, but he thought it was really cool to pee in that jar! And, after he was done, mom took it into the bathroom and showed him that she was pouring it in the toilet. Then, she started telling him that he could just skip the jar and go straight to the toilet. He did.

Another thing to keep in mind about potty training a kid is that no matter how hard YOU try, if they arent trying all of your efforts go wasted. Are you starting TOO EARLY? My daughter is just now potty trained- and she is a little over 3.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Dothan on

I agree with the person who said, "The bottom line is: I think kids will go when they're ready. Don't stress and know that he'll do it in his own time."

DD was trained before the age of 2, DS not until shortly after the age of 4. I didn't intervene a whole lot. They went when they were ready.

Hope this helps.

A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Lawton on

Boys naturally start training older than girls. Two and a half is very early for boys. He may not be ready. Hold off a month or two and try again. Forcing the issue will just make you frustrated and upset him.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.J.

answers from Fayetteville on

I used the Dr. Phil's potty training technique and it worked great. They even have the dolls at Wal-mart for about 5 dollars. You can go to his web site and type in potty training. I know several others who have used it and they all agree it was the best thing. www.drphil.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.K.

answers from Little Rock on

It will take longer to train him. One of the things I did was give him an award of stickers or stars on a sheet of paper when it got to a special number we did something he wanted to do. To get my son to peep in the potty we did a thing of sink the cheerios. Put 4 to 5 cheerios in the potty and he try to sink them and the cheerios flush just like poo.
Get him to poo you can try hand held games, books, or my sons favorite boobles(mispelled). My autistic son was almost 6 before he stop pooping the pants, but he had a hard time telling the differece from needing to go and wanting to go. He also had a fear of letting his poop out because it was a part of him and seeing it go down the drain was seeing himself go down the drain. Most autsitc have that view point so you might need to tell him it is ok to let out your poop.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Hey just a little advice the way that i potty trained my son and he is 6 years old was to place him on the potty then let him know if he pee pee in the potty mommy will give you your favorite treat and i would wave it in front of him yeah i know a little crazy but it worked on my little boy and my little girl then it became second nature to them my little girl just made two in nov 07 and she was fully potty trained in March 08 night and day my son he was fully potty trained at 2 1/2 years of age night and day

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.H.

answers from Auburn on

Tried letting him sink the cheerios yet? Getting a gold star when he potties? Buying him his favorite cartoon charactors underwear and telling him not to peepee on Scooby-Doo? If he sees Daddy or his older brothers peeing in the toilet, will he want to be a big boy too? I guess each child does it when they are good and ready, but it can be frustrating for the parents & grandparents. When my 28 month old grandson tells us "peepee pottie" it usually means he has pooped in his pants! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi Philena,

Just be patient - It takes boy's a lot longer to get potty trained. I raised 3 boy's, who are all grown up now. Give him a lot of praise when he does potty when you sit him down on his chair. Do not get upset if he doesn't go. And do not let him run around with no clothes on! If he potty's in his pants, tell him when he wants to be a "BIG BOY" he can go sit on his chair and potty in it. See if that will help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.A.

answers from Lafayette on

Hi Philena!!! I have a little girl that just turned 3 on March 24th. I had the same problem with her. Every couple of weeks since she turned 2 I would encourage pottying ... to no avail. All I got from her was "No, I don't want to potty." Every night b-4 bath I would put her on it... she would never pee on it. One morning, about 2 weeks after she turned 3, I tried again. Put her in regular girls panties...she had one accident..then she just started holding it. I was taking her every 30 minutes the first day. On the second day, she was telling me when she needed to go. It just backs up the theory that when they are ready... they will train. Just offer every now & then, and act like it's no big deal right now. By the way, this happened with my older daughter too. She practically trained herself when she was about 2 1/2. Different ages for different children... Don't worry too much. You still have time. It WILL happen. :)

Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Who has diagnosed your son with ADHD? A child of that age cannot possibly meet the criteria for ADHD. It is completely age appropriate for a 2 year old to be impulsive, extremely active, and not focus for long periods of time (or any period of time). Most clinicians will not diagnose before the age of 6. Rarely you will see a diagnosis at 4 or 5, but even then these are still often age appropriate behaviors that children are learning to control as they enter more structure educational programs. If the same individual diagnosed your son's autism, I would definitely seek another opinion.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Here is one that I recently learned and is working terrific for my daughter who will be 3 in July. Buy them undergarments (underwear) with their favorite theme character, and tell the child when you put them on that if they pee on them that it will hurt them. For example my daughter likes Dora. So I put Dora panties on her and told her that if she pees or poops on Dora it is going to hurt her. It takes a couple of days but yesterday was the first day with no accidents in her panties. I do not know if it will help but it did with my child. Good luck and keep your head up.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

It doesn't sound like he is ready. My son is 31/2 yrs. and we still have accidents when he is in a new place or when as he says, "I was just to busy playing". Next time he his running around naked and starts to tee tell him to stop and run to the potty. If he can not stop the stream of urine and it just continues to pour out as he is running then he does not have muscular control yet and is not ready to be potty trained. They have to be able to stop the urine flow by sucking up with their private area (like Kegel exercices). I noticed potty training worked with my 2 older girls when they could do this, and would work for my son if he just weren't so busy playing ;). Hope this helps. I have always been told, "when their ready their ready" and this has seemed to hold true. I know it sucks to keep buying diapers, but it beats the stress, anxiety, and wet floors that tryin to force them to potty train causes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Little Rock on

I have a boy and a girl (now 20 and 18, respectively). I've heard from family and friends that boys are a little harder to potty train, but that may or may not be true. I think 2 1/2 is a good age to beging potty training. So way to go on that.

A friend of mine years ago gave her son 2 to 5 M&M'w when he went potty. He couldn't have M&M's at any other time, so it was a special treat. You may want to use whatever treat he likes. You may disagree with food rewards, but it you don't use it as every reward, I don't think it will be harmful.

Of course you will make a big celebration when he does go, and tell him how wonderful he is. Really brag on him when he does it. When he does have an "accident," don't get frustrated and upset with him. He may not actually be ready yet, and that's okay too. Maybe say, "Ahh Oh! You can do it next time and get your (whatever treat)" or "I know you can do it next time."

No matter what happens, remember - EVERYONE gets potty trained eventually. So don't worry. Everything will turn out just fine.

Enjoy your little guy at this time. I miss my children being little. They really do grow up so fast.
-D.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions