Potty Training Boy/girl Twins.

Hi, J.!
I'm going through the same thing right now. My boy/girl twins will be two in April, and we are REALLY eager to be out of diapers. I think you nailed the trick--being really dedicated and consistent. There have been weeks when I've really stuck with it and they have great success, but frankly I've been too tired/lazy to keep it up. I too am afraid of moving to Pull-ups. I'm wishing you good luck, and I am finding a lot of comfort in the fact that we are not alone in this endeavor!

-B. C.

I have b/b twins. One was ready before the other was with potty training. I had one that was just too busy to have to stop what he was doing to go to the bathroom. I did work with both of them at the same time though. I would get rid of the diapers and if you need that comfort use pull ups. It may take time but they will get the hang of it. I don't have girls to compare to, but I do have 4 boys and they were all different in potty training. Good luck and just be patient.

Hey J.,

My name is M.. I am actually a preschool teacher and have worked with 2 yr olds for 12 and a half years. I don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about potty training but i guess you can say i know more than alot of people because i deal with it on an EVERY DAY basis.

The 1st thing you need to remember is every child is different. Even though they are twins they are very different. every child learns at their own pace. There is no certain age that they are just going to start going potty and you can't just expect them to learn at the same time (I don't think you are but I usually tell the parents in our center that as well)

The 2nd thing you need to do is pay attention to them and REALLY see if they are interested in going potty.... if they don't have interest in going it's going to put alot of pressure on you both if you try to force it. ALOT of parents think "oh my child is 2 they should be potty trained before they turn 3" that is one of the worst things you can do is force your child to go when they are not ready. I am not saying don't try but hey if it's becoming a struggle for you it more than likely means you are stressing them out and they ARE NOT going to do it. We may not like it but every 2 yr old knows it's their choice to go potty or not. It has to be their choice to go not yours. Just remember to praise them when they do make the choice to go potty and encourage them.... NEVER EVER discourage them or get mad when they have an accident. It happens we all have done it... it's one of those things we talk about with them and then move on. If you do it's just going to hold them back. You have to stay positive about the whole experience.

3rd... You need to make the choice what is better for you and your child either diapers or pull ups. My personal opinion as a teacher is that a pull up is the same as the diaper the only thing better about a pull up is the child feels more independent because they can pull them up and down themself. When you start potty training them you want to keep in mind that this is something your child is going to want to do on their own so you need to make it as easy as possible on them. you don't want to put them in clothes that they can't do themself. so yes that means no more onsies, preferably no overalls, try not to do any tight fitting clothes (at least not until they get the hang of going potty for awhile). The best clothes you can put them in is a pants or shorts that have an elastic band or something they can pull up and down easy by themself.

Last but surely not least (and maybe even one of the most important parts) you need to stay CONSISTANT!!!!! i can't express that enough. If your not willing to stay consistant and help them with the process it's sort of not really worth trying. The child is going to take MUCH longer to potty train if your not staying consistant with them. They are going to think well it can't be that important to go potty cuz mom doesn't really care if I go or not. You need to find what works for you and your child. Remember each child is different though. Don't push one because the other one is doing better or something. They will get it on their own time.

I usually recomend to my parents in my class to set some kind of timer. (one on the microwave is nice but one you can take with you is much better) Even when you are out you will stay consistant and your child is going to know what it means when the timer goes off. Set the timer for an hour. When the timer goes off remind your child "oh let's try to go potty". When they get done set the timer again. (If you notice they arn't going every hour you can change the time to longer or shorter if they are wet before you try to go again.)

When you do decide they are actually ready for the underwear (staying dry a majority of the time) then you should try them out. Don't freak out about putting a diaper on them when they take a nap or when they are sleeping at night (that's not going to set them back) But DON'T put them in a diaper during the day if they have been in underwear and have been staying dry (that just confuses them). If you go ahead and put them in the underwear and they start having more accidents then they probably arn't ready for the underwear and yes it's ok to put them back in diapers..... it's one of those things you just have to try to use good judgement. Sometimes they need to have the underwear on and have an accident in them to realize they don't like the feeling of being wet. Don't make them sit in them for a long period of time but don't rush the second they have the accident to change them.... they need to realize they don't like that feeling so they need to go potty in the potty.

Oh yeah .... Don't forget to talk to your child about going potty....it's a HUGE milestone/accomplishment for them.

I hope this can help you even just a little bit. Or anyone else who reads it. Sorry it was so long. If you have any more questions though I am here and would be happy to answer them.

I don't have twins, but do have five kids. My only advice-however you decide to do it-is don't push too much. If you turn potty training into a control battle the child will win. Every kid is different so let them take the lead and be patient and positive.

You are right you should never put them back in diapers. I would not even use the pull- ups. They are just like diapers they usually can tell no difference. Just keep letting them go pee on the potty, and you should use the underwear for about an hour a day. Make sure they have just gone pee or that they just soiled there diapers and tehn put them in the undies. Then go to more than an hour. Eventually they will not want there diapers anymore. Best of luck, but I also think that you should try to do both at once.!!!!!!!

Hi J. -- My boy/girl twins are now 7! I have 6 children. I found that with all my children, they didn't "turn the corner" and become completely ready for toilet training until after they turned 3. I would keep doing what you are doing, until May. Then make a big deal about how they will be turning 3, and how they won't be needing diapers anymore. Keep those 2 little toilet seats side by side, and definitely train them together. I found it helpful to have a jar of M&M's nearby (up high). If they sat on the toilet -- they got 1. If they had a wet, they got 2. If they actually had a bowel movement, then they got 3 or 4! You could start putting the pull-ups on them at this point, in May. You will still have some accidents, of course, but this is my best advice on how to proceed.
Good luck! Leica M.

Hi J.!
No, I haven't had twins (God Bless You!) but I've worked in daycare & there was always three or more children going through the potty training at the same time. I think what you're doing with your twins is good; same time to potty should work well because they can encourage & witness each other's progression, & even if your daughter reaches success first, still have your son keep going in there at the same time. He will learn from her.
You answered your own challenge by speaking to your own lack of determination to really go after this; sorry, but none of us look forward to this challenge (I don't think) except to have it done & over with, LOL! Psyche yourself up for it, set a plan to reward your children's successes & follow through.
Setting them on the potty first thing in the morning & before naps, etc is good - be consistent with that. The fact that they have both already peed in the potty is a great sign! Go with it! Make it a big deal with praise for them & do not put the diapers back on them except at night if they are not yet waking up dry in the mornings. Elliminate drinks an hour before bedtime to help with nighttime training.
Pay attention to when they typically eliminate (poo-poo) & try setting them on the potty at that time - explain as much as you can to them & keep explaining it. You surely don't have long now! Hang in & dig in!
Mother of 3 sons (now 16 to 21 yrs old) J.

My boy/girl twins are now 6 and I have to say that potty training them was a breeze! My daughter was ready before my son but I just kind of held off until they were both 3. Then I waited until a time that our lives were calm (it had been a chaotic year for all of us) and it took me 2 days. I used the fact that my daughter was so ready to my advantage and let her take the lead and he just followed.....I am a firm believer in waiting until they are totally ready before trying anything! This avoids a lot of frustration on everyone's part and makes this a positive experience for all. I put them in pull-ups for a couple of weeks at nights only (never during the day) but realized that was totally unnecessary so I stopped those as well. We had very few accidents, a couple in the daytime and none at night. It has been my experience that if they still need pullups during the day then they are not ready and you need to just put it on hold for a couple of months. There is no magic time, just trust in your instincts and cues from them and it will be a positive experience. P.S.: Aren't they great?

The only way I ever got my two girls to potty train is to let them be in the house with no bottom (no diaper, no underwear, no pants.) It only took once or twice of not making it to the potty to let them know that they don't like the feeling of pee dripping down their leg. As for poo, I had them tell me they needed to go poo, then they switched to a pull up, and sat on the toilet with a pull up on. With in a month, they would go on the toilet with out their pull up, and voila, potty trained!

J.,
I had an unconventional approach to potty training. My sones are 12, 14 now...after trying the traditonal approaches to potty training the oldest and when he said to me I don't care about the skittles...I just said okay, wear the diaper...he was probably 2 1/2 had a baby brother sitll the diapers...we watched a silly video called Potty Time so many times that I can still sing the silly song...but I left the ball in Jeff's court, finally one day , in the spring before he was starting preschool, he said...I am going to put my poop and pee in the potty, he had two poopy accidents, and that was it...from then own he was "potty trained!" With my other son, Sam, one day when he was about 2 he said, I'm putting my poop and pee in the potty,too" and he did from that day on...so my advise is tell them all about it, talk about the it is a positive manner, never criticize them for wearing diapers..and be patient...C. S.

I have always heard that training twins is easier than one at a time because they have a competitive nature about them and they will try to "one up" the other. I would train them together, having your son sit down (as opposed to standing).

Pull-ups are confusing to children because they can't tell they even wet themselves and they don't feel uncomfortable. (The "cool alert" kind DON'T work at all.)

Read the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day". Even if you don't follow it exactly, it has some great ideas.

You mentioned using diapers out of convenience. I used diapers OVER underwear when I was going out if I knew I didn't want to have to change an outfit if there was an accident. That way, the child is uncomfortable and will realize they are wet and not get back in the diaper habit. Just take a bag to put the wet underwear in in case of an accident and the clothes should still be dry.

Good luck!

I have my twin girl potty trained, but the twin boy still refuses to even sit on the potty chair. I let my girl pick out her favorite panties, and yes i had to change a few pairs before she got the hang of it, but every 30 minutes i would just ask her if she had to go and most of the time she would go up there by herself but i would make sure that was what she was doing LOL!! But it is actually easier then you think, it does seem harder to make that first step but once you do you will be glad that you did!!!

I don't have b/g twins, but do have g/g twins and an older boy. Potty training was not difficult for me because I felt I let them decide when it was the right time. My older son was done overnight (a week before he turned 3). With my girls it was a long drawn out process. I did use diapers for convenience because who needs the extra hassle of cleaning up messes. My girls were almost 4 when they were fully daytime potty trained and almost 5 before we got rid of nighttime diapers. I never stressed over it and let the process unfold as they were ready. With my girls, they did not train together at all - one was ready first and was very good at taking her diaper off when she wanted to use the potty. Both of them eventually wanted to be dry all the time (and cool panties were a great incentive!). I know a lot of Moms who trained themselves to ask their children if they wanted to go potty every half hour and that was just not for me. I moved through the process with them as they were ready. We also still carry a potty chair in our van (girls are 5). Good luck!

wow! you have your hands full. from my experience my boy was easier to potty train than my daughter. My little girl had no desire to be out of diapers. If you make it exciting for them then they will want to go "in the potty". With her, we bought her "princess" panties and told her that she was a big girl and she needed to go in the potty. However, that didnt work. So we took her to the store so she could pick out her own panties. There was also a doll she wanted. So we told her, when you go pee in the potty we will buy you the baby but you can only have it when you go in the toilet (she had to do it for about a week) that, for her was all it took. It took about a good week. Potty training is the worst. And kids are different. Some take no time at all and some take forever!! Good luck, hope all goes well. Just whatever you do make it FUN for them.

The thing that worked best for my son was letting him run around naked on the bottom half. That was easy in Phoenix in the summer, but I realize that may not be an option for everyone. That way he didn't have to worry about getting any clothing off. After a while, I put his underwear on him so he could learn to pull them down and put them back on. And after that, I added shorts/pants.
I had a chart that he filled with stickers, and when it was fully, daddy took him camping. And I set smaller goals for him before that. Like I told him that when he'd gone poop two times on the potty, I'd take him to the store to pick out some big boy underwear. And when he filled up each row with stickers, he got a big sticker to wear on his shirt. When he lost a bit of interest in those, I kept it up but added a chocolate chip--one for going pee, two for going poop. And actually, that morphed into a healthier reward because I realized that he actually preferred dried strawberries out of my Special K Red Berries! I saved them for him and he really loved earning strawberries.
I always put diapers on DS when we went anywhere, at naptime, and at bedtime. I never bought pullups (they're so expensive!). I only swore off diapers after I took dry diapers off of him in the morning for two weeks. But when we were home, I left the diapers off.
And this sounded just wrong to me at first, but someone told me to put the potty seat in the family room where DS played. Eeew, I thought, but I did it anyway. The first time DS used the potty, I was working on dinner and he was playing. He came to tell me that he'd peed in the potty. The kitchen looked onto the family room, but I didn't see what he'd done. I figured he was pretending, but he showed me a full potty seat, no drips anywhere! It was great.
Hope that helps!

it sounds like you are off to a good start. you have to be brave and get rid of the diaper. you could be confussing them w/the diaper. try explaining what "big girl/boy panties" are and go from there. yes there will be accidents, just be patient and constitant(and stay home about a week). just think of all the money you will save not buying diapers! and "props" to you for doing both at the same time! good luck- you can do it! it is so much better in the long run.

J., I promise you that once you get them potty trained, life really is easier. Of course there will be accidents and times when they have to go potty when it's not convenient, but just think of the $ you'll save on diapers. I would do them both at once too. (no regressing because brother or sister is still in diapers)

Hi J.
I am a mother of twins they are boys.I know it's a little different, but my advice is do it at the same time. Work with
them together what worked for me. use a digital timer set it for about 20 mins then if one wets take them both to the toilet, give them their own toilet and make them sit down for a few mins sing a potty song (make it up if you don't know one.)
Then get them both cleaned up and set the timer for another 20 mins and just watch them you may need to adjust the time but don't give up. Also if they aren't 2 yrs or older it might not work I had a specialist tell me that the brain dosen't make the connection to the blatter tell after 2 or 3 yrs of age and boys are sometimes slower than girls but each kid is different.And use pull ups to save yourself from laundry and having to clean carpets and other things. I found that the
underware vs pullup were the same and the special alers never
worked for mine. T. Utah