Potty Training Advice - San Diego,CA

No kid is accident free.
Even if a kid is punished for it... they WILL have accidents.
He is only 2.5 years old.
ALL kids, have accidents. Daytime or night time.
Its normal.
And at this age, they do not have 100% fully developed organs or 100% fully developed impulse-control yet.

Even 3,4,5,6 year olds, have accidents.
At my kids' school, the health room even stocks extra underwear and clothing, for kids to change into if they have an accident. It is no biggie and the Teachers do not make a fuss about it.

There is NO need to punish or make a child feel bad or embarrassed about an accident.
This is childhood. Kids have accidents.

Never, ever punish for accidents. The only appropriate response is "oh sweetie, I'm sorry you wet yourself. Next time we will keep our pants dry."

Just hang in there. It takes some kids time, but the most important thing is to be patience and give them the chance for it to click.

2 year old are very distracted. 3 year olds are distracted too. Expect some accidents.

He is doing great for his age! Just keep taking him to the toilet on a regular basis. I know it is hard when you know that your child knows how to do it and so you want them to do it on their own. But it takes time (years even) for children to learn that kind of discipline. Time outs won't help. Trust me, I've tried it. Positive encouragement and physically helping them, not just telling them to go to the toilet, are the best ways to help a child feel good about using the toilet. When you are frustrated with his potty mistakes, that is the time to take a deep breath and change your thought process. Remind yourself and him of his accomplishments and find joy in them. It's a process.
We like the book "I'm a Big Kid Now". I have spent a lot of time reading that to one of my little ones while waiting for them to finish on the toilet. :) Good luck!

2 thoughts . . .
1) Potty training is a HUGE issue, you have to go at your child's rhythm and speed and follow his lead. (We didn't, we tried to impose our will on him and we have been having trouble now for years. . . .) Don't punish him for a bodily function he is just learning about . . .
2) The specialist that we saw ( we had to wait 8 months to get an appointment, that might tell you how hugely sought after this guy was) reccomende that with every change of activity we ask/suggest a visit to the potty. In the am "do you want to go use the potty before you get dressed?" "Now we've finished breakfast do you want to go use the potty?" "We're going to go in the car for a while, what do you think about using the potty now, since we're at home, and it is easier than at the store."
Hope this helps, just really - take it at his pace, because when there is pressure around this issue, there can be so many problems.
Good luck!

My daughter was the same way.. I had to lead her to the potty. She would go every time.. but would only tell me when she had to poop. I tried bribes and I tried time outs as recommended to me by my well meaning friends who deemed my daughter as lazy. I got very frustrated and finally asked her pedeitrition. He told me it was because, poop is slow and takes a bit to get out.. so the sensation lasts long enough to identify it. When my daughter peed, by the time she realized that it was happening, it was already down her leg. So, needless to say, I felt bad by using punishment to try to force her into not wetting her pants. It clicked for her about a week before her 3rd birthday. She knew what the feeling was and WaLa, no more accidents.

It sounds like your son is doing great! How about building in some "natural" bathroom times into his day: When he gets up/before he gets dressed, before snack and lunch, before or after his nap, before or after dinner...I have an at-home preschool & we wash our hands before or after certain activities during the day & it is just natural to add in going potty at that time. That way, it is just part of our day & not me reminding anyone to go potty. As some other posters have said, it will become a routine for your son and it will click. Definitely NO punishment for having an accident. Even though he is doing really well, he is young and it is still up to you to manage the bathroom breaks for him. Congratulations to you for getting him to the point he is at!

You definitely don't want to punish him for this because you don't want to turn this into a battle and he'll win this battle because he has the control. I found that my son peed in his pants mostly because he was too busy playing to pay attention to the fact that he had to pee. When he started having a lot of accidents, I came up with a positive behavior chart. He got a sticker for every day he didn't pee in his pants. After 10 stickers (not 10 days... because he had a couple of accidents) he got a special treat. We did this for a few months and solved the problem. Your son is doing great for his age and he will most likely have some accidents until he's older. Until then you should probably remind him to go or just take him to the bathroom if you know he hasn't gone in awhile. That plus a behavior chart should help. Good luck!

He's doing very well so far. We tried starting my son at 2 and he's 3 1/2 and it just finally clicked one day recently. We didn't punish him if he had an accident. As aggravated as we might have gotten, we just had to keep in mind that it's like a switch with some kids.....one day it just gets flipped and they're done. Our son was so-so for about 4 months, he would go sometimes in the potty sometimes in his training pants. Then suddenly one day he started going strictly in the potty without any coaxing from us. We made a potty board for him with stickers and shapes. Once he filled a shape up with stickers he would get a surprise. That seemed to be a big incentive for him not to have accidents.

I highly recommend getting a copy of 'Toilet Training in Less Than A Day' by Azrin and Foxx. The method they describe in the book (reinforced practice when an accident occurs) worked very well for both of my kids. I can't recall a single day-time accident after we used this method, although we kept the kids in pull-ups at night until they were reliably dry for a year.

For his age, this is totally normal. We got a Potty Watch for my son when he was around 2 and a half -- you can set it to go off every 30, 60, or 90 minutes. It plays a nice little song and it worked most of the time to get my son to take a break and head to the bathroom. I think it was around $10 on Amazon. Even if HE won't wear it, you can, to help you remember! It automatically resets itself every time it goes off -- easiest thing ever!

My son is 3 now and goes to the bathroom by himself ALMOST totally independently. There are still times when I realize he hasn't gone for several hours and he needs a reminder. I still need to ask him to go before we leave the house, etc.

Good luck!

If he is peeing in his underwear regularly I would put him in pullups for a little while given his age. I agree with you that a timeout is too punitive. It's not a race, nobody goes to college in diapers. Pediatricians have a saying that if you push your kid you will have a kid who is toilet trained at three. If you don't push your kid you will have one who is toilet trained at three. The other responders have given some great suggestions and ideas. We used reward charts with stickers and the Elmo's Potty Time video and never made a big deal out of it if they wanted to be in a diaper or pullup. Good luck!

I'll be watching this myself for advise. I potty trained both my kids at about 18 mths. My son, now 8, other than a few accidents, we had no problems. My girl, however, totally different. She's now 5, and we still have issues. She doesnt really potty in her underwear, but she dribbles several times a day every day. Good luck to you.