Potty Training - Saint Paul,MN

Don't start yet :) Boys are much slower than girls, most don't get it until they are 3 years old (sorry, sad but true) If you do want to start something, just put a potty in the bathroom and let him sit when he wants to - just having it there may spark some interest, but please have no expectations for a loooong time...

Hi S.,
I would suggest not starting until your son shows some interest. Realize that many boys are not ready until they are about three. Then, I highly recommend waiting until it's warm outside. Let him run around outside with no diaper. In this age of disposable diapers, many children have no idea what it feels like to urinate or what it looks like. As he becomes more familiar with his own body, it will be easier. Then, when you are sure that both of you are ready, let your son wear cloth underpants with no pants. He will not like the feeling of being wet, which will reinforce what you are both working on. He will also be able to independently go use the bathroom when he needs to without buttons, snaps, etc. Be patient and lastly, DO NOT USE FOOD AS A REWARD FOR USING THE BATHROOM. I am a teacher as well as a parent, and I cannot express to you how many issues children (some as young as 2 and 3) have with food.
Good luck.

The most useful advice I got when potty training my son was this: they are going to use the potty consistently when they are ready (physically and emotionally) and not a moment before. There's not really much you can do to "train" them - just give them lots of gentle opportunities, make the whole experience as low-key as possible, help them learn to recognize for themselves what it feels like when they "have to go." Modeling is great - invite them into the bathroom whenever you or your partner need to use the toilet. Answer all their questions, when they come up. Create an easy, learning environment, and when they're ready, they'll do it. All the techniques mentioned by others can be very useful in creating that environment. Although I'd really hold off on the rewards until he's really close to doing it already. You don't want to set up any sense of shame or failure at the beginning. We did use treats to get my son over the "pooping" hump (a very common tough spot). He was consistently peeing in the potty at 2 yrs 2 mos and finished with accidents of any kind by 2 years 10 mos. I hate to say I trained him, because he really did it all on his own. I was just there with him.

A good way to start the early stages of potty training is to simply talk about and model for him going to the bathroom. Then when my son turned 2 years we put his potty chair in the bathroom and talked about what it was and what it was for. We read Potty Books in the bathroom while he sat on the potty chair, at first with the lid down like a chair (his favorite books were the funny "what is a potty" books... like "is it a hat?"). He wanted to play with his potty chair and put toys in it, so it gave us great opportunities to talk about what really goes in there, and that it wasn't for toys, when he was really showing interest and exploring it. He would want to sit on the potty for awhile, then wouldn't. He cycled a few times through that. We talked about when he was ready, he could go in the potty instead of his diapers. My son didn't like laying down to change his diaper, so we added that he wouldn't have to lay down for diapers anymore once he decided to go in the potty chair. As he showed more interest, we talked about big boy underwear and he got to choose his special underwear. Then one night, about 3 weeks after that, I was going through the you won't have to lay down for a diaper when you choose to wear big boy underwear and go in the potty chair... when he asked me, "Mom, what do big boy underwear look like?" (Yes, he had just picked them out at the store, but obviously it wasn't clicking there... no potty chair I guess). So, I quickly pulled out his Thomas underwear and showed him. The next morning he requested his big boy underwear, we had 4 accidents in the first 2 weeks, and then nothing.
He was basically potty trained at 2 years and 4 months, but not for poop... that took time and some rewards (he would ask for a pull-up when he had to poop, which I gave him as well as saying that some day he could choose to poop in the potty chair, just like he went potty). We drew small circles on a chart that had the number of stickers he needed to get (1 circle for a sticker per poop on the toilet) to earn a book (we actually drew the picture of a book on the chart so he would always know what he was working for). We started out with him only needing 3, and slowly increased the number of stickers needed as he became better at it. This took another 2 months, and he gave up the book reward on his own. I'd ask if he wanted a sticker and he was no longer interested.
Really the best potty training advice I ever received was to stay positive. Don't expect results. Give the power over to your child. Be patient and supportive. And remember they may not get exactly what you're talking about at first, so pay attention to when they are interested in the potty chair, and offer up opportunities for learning... in other words (long story short) get the potty chair out and explore it together! Good luck and enjoy the process.

The best way I found in training my children to go potty was to number one, wait until they were ready. When they are dry diapered in the morning, that is a good indication. Just make sure you are not giving them huge amounts of water right before bedtime.

Second, use a reward system, from the start. If they like sitting on the potty, reward them for staying there longer, give them a book to look at or if you have a potty chair that has a small tray, you can put cheerios or something on the tray to keep them there longer. It sometimes helps to use a minute timer, and give them the sticker after the timer goes off. That is one way to keep them there longer, and then just increase the time a little after a day or two of success in staying on the potty for one minute. I would definately use a potty chair.

Third, use two things - a sticker chart - where they get to choose a sticker to place on the chart for each time they sit on the potty - at first - and then what I called a "potty treat" where if they actually went potty they received a small item of candy. I kept the candy in the bathroom, in a special container. Place it up high so they can't get into it when you aren't there. The sticker chart had squares for each day, enough to show progress and allow for praise for sitting on the potty and going potty. My kids loved the stickers almost as much as the treats. They especially liked putting the stickers on the chart themselves. People might disagree with the idea of giving treats, then you can just use the charts. I found booklets of stickers so they had lots of choices to pick from, with cute stickers that children like, rather than just stars or something like that. It really worked well.

S.,

I have two boys, one is nearly 3 and the other is 15 months. I am potty training my 3 year old right now. We tried when he was about 2 1/2, and he wasn't ready. This time, it's gone really well. We are not doing pull ups. He has been in underwear for 1 week, and has only had 2 accidents. Pooping in the potty is another story, but I think he'll get it pretty soon.

My 15 month old is obsessed with sitting on the potty. He has a lot of words all ready, so he can say "Potty". I try to let him sit on there when he asks. He has never peed or pooped on it. I think it is a novelty and it will wear off once his brother is completely trained and we don't spend so much time in the bathroom.

To me, he is way too young to seriously potty train. I am hopeful that he will train earlier than his brother because he has someone to watch and copy, but unless they can really tell you when they need to go potty, training is kind of a impossible task to undertake.

Good luck!
J.

PS - we are using M&M's to reward a pee or poop in the potty and I am not worried about it being a "food issue" later in life.

This was a tip my MIL gave me and it held true for my son. Change him right when he gets up in the morning or after nap. If he's dry, he's ready to start potty training. We started when he would wake up dry after a nap and spent MONTHS having that be the only successful potty. Good luck. 14 months is very young, especially for a boy.

He's at a great age to start introducing the concept of toilet training--buy a couple of books to read to him, talk about it, buy a potty chair or seat (my boys preferred the potty seat that sits on the toilet to a potty chair), but don't have high expections for success at toilet training any time soon. He is very young. I respectfully, but strongly, disagree with the person who said age 16-18 months is the perfect time for toilet training. Children don't even have physical control over those functions until about 18 months. Kids who are potty trained before then just have parents who are trained to know when to take them to the potty. Interest in the potty at an early age is probably curiousity and a first step, but not a real urge to pursue toilet training. It can be a game for them too (we have a child playing potty training games with us at a church where I work in child care). I also know from personal experience and from seeking professsional help to toilet train one of my children that the more you push them the more they can resist and you can get into unhealthy situations like holding poop. It is very common for boys especially to not master toilet training until age 3 or even age 4 in some cases. Every kid is different (mine were older, but they have a male cousin who had it mastered by 2 1/2), but pushing them or starting too early usually isn't helpful. On the advice of a medical professional we backed off with my older son and let him do it when he was ready. He was almost 4, but after we got rid of the diapers and pull ups he didn't have any accidents. It was so nice not to deal with that when I had friends whose kids were having accidents all of the time and in one case pooping in her underwear every day. All kids do it sooner or later! Even mine--who were both stubborn and resistant! Just introduce it as a concept now and maybe start with some cute books.

14 months seems young. Has he showed any signs that he is interested in the potty?? Does he want to be changed right away after he wets? If you force it and he is not ready it may backfire. Try to see if he is interested in potty videos and books. I just think 14 months is way too young, but not impossible. Good luck

First of all, whatever you decide to do, GOOD LUCK! My son just turned 2 last month and we are trying to potty train him right now. When he was about 18 months old, he showed a huge interest in the potty, would ask to go "potty" and when placed on the potty, he would actually peepee or poop on the potty. I requested that the daycare continue the potty training with me, but they said that potty training at that age, especially for a little boy, was WAY too young and would never work out. I listened to them, thinking that they must know better... they have done this for a lot longer than me! Shame on me! Now he shows no interest and fights me when I ask him to sit on the potty. I read just a few days ago that there is a small window of opportunity to potty train, usually between 16-18 months in which kids are aware enough to be potty trained and still compliant enough to follow along with what you say. I am so frustrated with myself! I should have listened to my instincts! I don't know if this information is helpful or not; I guess I just wanted to tell you to listen to yourself... Don't let people tell you that he is too young! Again, GOOD LUCK!

As long as you are patient, at this age you are only encouraged to introduce the potty chair as something fun to sit on. One year olds don't get how, why or even when pee and poop come out of them yet. Most kids don't actually train until they are at least two years - especially boys.

In rare cases toddlers will train early - but if you see that he is not interested, back off and let go. The diaper stage is easily two years, sometimes three - in rare cases four.