Preschooler Potty Training 3 Year Old Boy

Updated on March 07, 2008
A.D. asks from Chardon, OH
16 answers

My son is nearing 3 1/2 now and was potty-trained last summer a few months before his 3rd birthday. I have 2 potty-training questions... (any suggestions/insight are appreciated!)
1. He was immediately "night trained." For about 4 months he was totally dry during the night and did not need to wear a pull-up. Around the 4th month of being trained, he began having accidents at night. Reluctant to put him back in pull-ups at night, we tried for two months to rememdy the problem. We stopped fluids after 5pm. I tried getting him up to go at 10pm or 11pm on top of restricting the fluids, but he would still be wet in the morning. We rewardned him on mornings he woke up dry. We finally gave in and put him back in pull-ups. Every monring, despite still restricting fluids at night, his pull-up is overflowing. I don't really mind the pull-up, I am just perplexed as to why he was able to remain dry at night for 4 months, but cannot now. Any thoughts/suggestions?
2. My second question has to do with during the day. Again, this is a problem that only developed during the last 2-3 months. He seems very lazy about the potty. He NEVER wants to stop what he is doing to use the potty. Therfore, he waits too long and then has an accident. When I suggest he uses the potty he always says he doesn't have to (even when he's already 'leaked!') When I try to force the issue, I end up with a temper tantrum. He has great control on days that he chooses to. I really just think other days he is making the choice not to stop for 2 minutes to use the potty until it is too late. Any suggestions? Thanks!!! A.

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C.W.

answers from Columbus on

Bravo, that he was trained before 3. I believe boys are easier than girl, especially if they are taught to sit on the toliet facing the tank.
They do however regress for many reasons. My older one was done at 22 months and I never thought my little one would get it. Finally at 26, months we had it, then lost it.
He was afraid of the dark bathroom and going by himself. Once he knew that he could wake Mommy up, and got the super big hugs for staying dry, and 2 months of the routine, it was done and over with. We restricted drinks after 7pm, and he went 3 times before bed at 8:30. "Come on ..., it's time to try. If nothing comes out, nothing comes out." This told him it wasn't up for discussion, but it was okay if he really coulnd't go.

Hang in there. He'll get it again.

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R.F.

answers from Lafayette on

You might try to find a way to make him responsible for cleaning up the mess. It doesn't have to be any big portion of the job, maybe carrying the wet bed sheets to the laundry room or "cleaning" himself with a baby wipe/washcloth. Once he realizes that he's responsible for cleaning up the mess, maybe he'll decide it's easier to potty than to clean up the mess if he doesn't.

Good luck. :)

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

Use a timer. My son was two and hated it when I would ask him to use the potty during potty training. So instead I decided HIS timer would tell him when to go. I used to set it every 35 minutes when he was training and each time it would go off, I'd casually mention that his timer was ringing and he would try to go to the bathroom. I'd give him a little reward when he did go potty and he was trained in a week- and I wasn't frustrated begging and pleading. He did have accidents at night occasionally, but that stopped after less than a year. He's great now. Good luck!

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N.Q.

answers from Cleveland on

i am in a similar boat regarding your second question. i just keep encouraging my son to go... and even if he says no i try to coax him in going. what can we do... just keep trying and keep your cool.

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S.L.

answers from Cincinnati on

I completely understand what you are going through! My son will be 4 next month and was potty trained before his 3rd birthday. Last fall, when we had the time change, he also started having nighttime accidents and we had to put him back in pull ups at bedtime. His daytime efforts at getting to the bathroom also were lacking. I have 2 other sons and I can tell you that there seems to be no rhyme or reason to their bathroom habits! They are just unwilling to stop what they are doing to use the toilet and have no problem with wearing wet pants. I also find that they will deny any need to go even with obvious evidence. They are completly frustrating sometimes!
I will say that my youngest is getting better during the day and we have told him that when he turns 4 we will stop using pull ups. They do eventually get it but don't think that you are doing something wrong. My 8 yr old still has the occasional accident.
I wish I had some concrete advice but I just think that boys are a little lazy when it comes to toilet use, so keep lots of laundry detergent on hand!

S. L.

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S.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My 3 year old come and went with potty training too. My 2 year old was completely potty trained and now he's reverted to the pull up.

All I can say is to continue to be consistent. I think my 3 year old reverted because he was around younger children or perhaps doesn't want to grow up and miss out on the constant attention that diaper changing gives him.

Try putting him on the potty every hour during the day. Wake little one up early in the morning. I have to force my boys to go at night and first thing in the morning. Just make going to the potty part of the routine. First thing AM, last thing PM, then every hour or two hours during the day, 20min after meals, or whatever. Children thrive on schedules, so just make a new one and stick to it.

Boys tend to take longer and revert now and again. It's not because you're doing something wrong. It's because they're little men! ;-)

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S.B.

answers from Cleveland on

A.,

I can feel your pain. My second son has a bit in common with your son. He didn't have a big problem with making it through the night but he did have frequent accidents after he was potty trained. Something that we did for him was when he did have an accident he would have to take care of his clothes and get himself some clean clothes. He too didn't like to take the time to stop what he was doing and use the restroom and we told him that if he were to just stop and go to the bathroom that he would be able to get back to what he was doing. Now that he had an accident he had to take long to get back because now he had to get himself clean clothes. After awhile he got tired of changing his clothes and started to pay attention to when he needed to use the restroom. It has gotten so much better and he has very few accidents.

Sorry I can't help you with the night time problem. Sometimes kids just have issues with making it through the night...and I don't know why he would have started out OK and now have a problem. I can just say be patient and keep up the encouragement and hopefully things will change.

Hang in there...sometimes it takes awhile, but it will happen. Good luck. S.

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C.R.

answers from Columbus on

My son is only 14 months old so we haven't gone through this yet, but I can speak of my own personal experience as a child. When I was little I would get bladder infections that would cause me to hold it because I was afraid to go and have it hurt (even when I didn't have an infection..I was 3 I couldn't tell the difference!) which would in turn cause another infection. This caused a lot of accidents at night. I was also (before my son) a very very deep sleeper and would sleep through pretty much anything. I had accidents up until I was about 11. They didn't happen a lot at the older ages, just once in a while if I was sick or was really exhausted. To this day (i'm 26) if I'm really sick...or pregnant...or have a really weird water dream, I don't always wake up in time. I've mentioned it to my family doctors and they've all said the same thing, some people just don't wake up all the time for that, even as adults. It's so rare now that it's really not an issue, just an annoyance if it occurs but lucky for me I have an angel of a husband that is very supportive. As a child my parents would use one of those plastic sheets under a mattress pad under my sheet, that way I was still comfortable but it didn't ruin the mattress. Just be patient with you son, he's not doing it on purpose, and if you notice any sign that he's afraid that it will hurt, have him checked for a bladder infection. It's embarrassing to admit that as an adult this can still happen at time, imagine how it feels for a 'big boy' when he can't always control it. Good luck!!!

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V.O.

answers from Kokomo on

Quite common for a child to re-gress in potty training.Ignore it. Don't make a big issue of it. Don't suggest to him to go, just go get him by the hand and take him to the bathroom and help him, and if he rebels, pick him up and take him.
Set a timer for every hour and a half, and take him to the bathroom. Make sure you give him a lot of attention , other wise, because sounds like he is getting more attention by not going to the potty.

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S.S.

answers from Lafayette on

My daughter is almost 4, and we went through the same thing with her. From what I could tell, she just started to sleep very sound and not wake up needing to go. We started getting her up between 1 & 3 am to go to the bathroom (I was pregnant at the time so I was up anyway:)) My husband is usually up around that time and so he takes her. We still get her up about every night to go. This has made a big difference for us. We didn't have a lot of problems during the day, but she did have a spell where she would have a BM in her panties. We tried everything, including having her clean up the mess. She thought it was fun so that didn't work. We felt there was some constipation issues and the Pediatrition worked with us using Miralax. She couldn't hold it(she would squeeze her glutial muscles as tight as she could to keep from having a BM instead of heading to the bathroom). The Miralax made it so soft she couldn't hold it. Now we have her regulated. I had the same thoughts about the pull-ups that you have experienced.

Good luck!

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H.V.

answers from Columbus on

I have 4 boys, all are potty trained now, thankfully. In regards to the nighttime wetting, it could be that his bladder capacity hasn't caught up with his body. When he was first potty-trained, the amount of fluids that he was drinking was not enough to over-fill his bladder. But, he is growing and probably eating/drinking more and his bladder has not caught up yet. I would give it a few months, and if you are still concern, speak with your pediatrician. As for the daytime "accidents", my boys did this also. I think they get a little lazy. It is like "yeah, I know how to use the potty, but I'm busy right now". They eventually got over it, no matter what I did.

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M.B.

answers from Lafayette on

My daughter is 4 1/2 and still wears a Pull-Up to bed. She's fine during the day, but she can't seem to make it during the night yet. We've tried rewards, cutting off fluids at night, and waking her up twice per night. Right now we're just trying to be patient (we're not waking her up...she needs her sleep!). Her pediatrician says it's perfectly normal and her body is just not ready, yet. So...we're waiting! :)

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D.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son did the same thing...What i did was put the potty chair in with me in the bathroom and when i went he would go...You kindof lose your privacy in the bathroom for a bit but he eventually started to go on his own...Hope this helps...My daughter did it as well and we bought her "big girl panties" and she thought she was it....And that to worked...Or maybe i just got lucky...Good Luck

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M.D.

answers from Columbus on

I think it is very atypical for a child that young to stay dry at night, especially boys and it does sound like he is a heavy sleeper. I would let it go, then try it again with rewards if he yells out that he needs to potty. In regards to being lazy about going to the potty during the day, he is having way too much fun doing other things. Try to schedule potty time before he gets too involved. I think your problem is typical because the newness of the potty has worn off.

Good luck

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K.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I had the same problem w/ my 3 year old. She was fine for several months at night, then, all of a sudden, she started wetting again. We had recently moved away from all of your friends and family and I think that was playing a role. I too tried to wait it out, after 1-2 months, I couldn't take the changing of the sheets in the middle of the night any more, and resorted back to pull-ups. We restrict her fluids, I wake her twice a night to potty her, I did this for 2-3 months, she has now been dry and w/ out pull-ups for a month (knock on wood)! The doctor told me me that sometimes if there is something bothering them (like moving, even small things to you and I, can be large to them), this will happen. It's hard, but we just waited it out. I'm not sure about the wetting during the day. I have a nephew who does that, he turned 4 in December. They just don't want to take away from playing. Maybe try bribery, if he stops every few hours and goes, he gets a sucker, sticker, M&M's or one of his favorite things. My sister used Power Rangers, if he went 1 week w/ out wetting during the day, he got to pick out a power ranger or other small item. Sometimes when there is incentive for something fun, they'll stop the fun to get it. Hopes this helps!!

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C.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, I'm in the thick of potty training a 3 year old boy as well so I'm not sure I have any great remedies at this point. However, you may consider seeing a chiropractor for his bed wetting. I just started going to one (not for bedwetting, of course) and he mentioned that they've had great success with children who bedwet. Apparently, if the spine is out of alignment, the vertebrae can put pressure on the spinal nerves and cause areas of the body to not function properly. Since we know how frequently children fall it is very possible that he could've jarred something out of place. I know it seems crazy to go to a chiropractor for bed wetting but now that I'm beginning to understand how the nervous system works it makes total sense. Hope this helps! Good Luck!

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