Hi Mamas,
My 30 month old DD is fighting potty training. She's very stubborn! I've tried numerous things to encourage her to use the bathroom and not a diaper. She picked out her "big girl" potty (we are currently on our third model), panties, rewards, and I take her to the bathroom every hour while she's awake. She doesn't mind being wet so letting her run around naked or in panties hasn't worked. She just pees, tells me that there is a mess, and goes back to playing. We are currently using Princess pull-ups. She holds the pee until she stands up and then goes. I'm at my wits end! Any ideas? Anything that helped you potty train your daughters? TiA
I put a big calendar up on the wall and every time she uses the potty she gets to put a cute sticker on the day. I've gotten rid of the pull-ups and when there is a mess I have her help me clean up. I want to make this fun for her so that she likes using her potty. We also "go" together so she can see that even big girls need to use the potty.
Use the method in the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day". It worked great for both my boys, one of which has special needs.
When the child is ready, training can happen almost by itself, just as learning to walk and talk are natural developments once a child is ready. You don't have to reward a baby to start walking, and it's obviously counter-productive to punish a baby for not walking according to a parent's schedule. When the child is physically and emotionally ready; rewards and punishments aren't needed for potty success, either. (Though celebration is always in order, just as with walking!)
Parents can (and frequently do) start the process earlier, but the child will seldom be truly trained until THEY are ready. Before then, it's the parent who get trained – to get the child to the potty every X minutes. Pushing a child, particularly if she senses you are impatient or angry with her, will often make her feel resistant, and everything will take longer.
My suggestion is that you back off for awhile, and let her know you are confident that she'll do this big-girl step when she's big enough (kids usually really want to be big!). You can continue with positive messages, books and videos about using the potty and how the body works, puppets going potty, etc. Point out occasionally that any "big girl" your daughter admires uses the potty (don't overdo this, or she'll simply tune you out).
And then trust the process. That's the hardest part, probably. But enter "potty training" in the box at the top of the page to read many stories by moms who did exactly this, and their kids were suddenly ready to take the initiative themselves. At that point, training usually takes only days, maybe up to two weeks, before the child is accident-free. Kids are genuinely motivated to make this great leap forward when they're not already soured on it.
It's also good to know that daytime training, poop training, and night training are separate steps for many children. (Some kids continue to need night protection into elementary school, especially boys. They really can't help it – they sleep heavily and just don't get those full-bladder signals during sleep.)
Hi A., if she holds her pee, then she has bladder control, and honestly except for stubborness there is not reason for her to not potty train. Pulls are a nono, they work and feel just like a diaper, I used reward and discipline with my 3 now grown all trained before age 2, and I have been doing the same with my day care kids for the last 13 years with great success,. To many people on this sight give bad advice when it comes to potty training, due to lack of experience, such as wait till they show interest, wait till their 3, no push it, and none of those lead to success. J.
She's not ready.
Her brain/bladder/mental cues are not there yet.
All those things, never worked with my kids either.
My son even told me loudly "ITS MY BODY!"
Or maybe for your girl, 'rewards' will work.
Or try, Potty Scotty underwear. You can get it cheaper in 6-packs from like E-bay or on sale at Amazon.
It is a padded underwear. For the transition from diapers to panties.
I used that with both my kids.
I don't like pull-ups. It is expensive and useless.
A child, will on their own, when they are ready, potty.
If forced, a toddler can also get constipated... and then it leads to medical problems. My daughter was like that. It creates anxiety and stress in them. The Specialist we saw for my daughter's potty related constipation said DO NOT force pottying. He see's kids every.single.day for issues like that. Once constipated and a child withholds their poop, it is VERY hard to undo and it causes pain. Thus the child will NOT want to poop, at all. Which then causes more medical problems.
And if she holds pee, she can get bladder/UTI infections.
all the best,
Susan
My boys were easier than my girls. =) I used pennies as rewards for my youngest. It seemed to be a great motivator. Be persistent and she'll get it. Good luck!
A., Give both of you a little break. When you are both ready to start again, make it simple for both of you. Start by adding going potty as part of her normal routine. By this, I mean pick a few events that happen every day and add in sitting on the toilet/going potty. Example: When she wakes up, sit on the toilet first thing, when she changes out of her jammies into her clothes for the day, before leaving for preschool, when she washes her hands at before or after lunch, when she washes her hands before or after dinner, when she changes from her clothes into her jammies, right before bed. Pick 3 of those times and just make sitting on the toilet part of the routine. At her age, she is beginning to strive for independence. Every time YOU tell HER to go potty, it is another opportunity for HER to tell YOU, "No." So make it part of the routine and eliminate the power struggle. Take your time, allow for mistakes - they are learning opportunities. I think a child almost learns the process in reverse: once they go potty in the toilet, he/she begins to recognize how his/her body felt right before that moment, and then they start to realize, on their own, when it is time to go potty. While I absolutely do NOT believe in punishment of any kind when there are accidents, I do believe a child can be part of the clean up process. Have her stand there while you are cleaning up and talk with her about it; don't let her just report it to you & then go back to whatever she was doing. Take a break. Talk with your daughter, tell her it seems she is not ready & you want to wait until she is ready. Get out the calendar and have her pick a date a few weeks from now and circle it. Then, talk about the start date often: do a countdown letting her mark off the days, get her excited about it. This way, getting started again is HER idea and she may be more willing to participate in the adventure! Good luck to both of you.
