Its me again... So we've been throwing fits over putting on diapers for over a week now right... I'd been considering Potty Training for the last, oh nearly a month now, right... So I thought maybe she's ready to potty train. We've been putting her on the potty just to see what she thinks, does, reacts, and its been fine. But never really potty trained.
I took these fits as a sign to give it a try. I asked in my last message about cloth diapers, and about where to find tiny products because she is SMALL, for 2.5 years old. The only thing I could find between Walmart, Target, Ross, Once apon a Child, and Baby's R Us were regular panties and the plastic covers in her size. So we gave that a shot.
That made her happy over a diaper!!!
I'd already made the realization that she doesn't really indicate when she is going potty any more. Sometimes when she poops we can tell but never when she pees... So I knew that was going to be a challenge. So I simply ask her litterally every 5 minutes if she wanted to go potty.
She never really says, hey yeah I need to go. She may want to go to the potty just to go to the potty (I guess kind of a game) and she may or may not actually do anything...
But three times now, after we go potty within 2-3 minutes, she wets her pants, and a lot too... I try to keep her on the potty as long as possible but she fights it when she is "done". She does not like the little potty I got for her, but she does like to sit on the big potty so we do that, but she can't just sit up there herself... We have to hold her on there... Putting the seat from the little potty on the big potty doesn't fly with her either...
My real question here is: I don't think she cares that she is wet when she does go... If I don't catch her in the act then she just does it and goes on about her business... How will we ever train if that's the case? Isn't that the largest natural training tool is for her to be wet/dirty and want to learn how to avoid that???
I realize it may come down to her just not being ready... As soon as we can afford them, we're going to get training pants from the internet in her tiny hiny size and hopefully that will help...
WOW!!! Thanks! I know Potty Training is a hot topic at this age group so I love all the feedback! I'd welcome any more if you still have it! Since we are moving into our first home in the next couple of weeks, we're going to put it all away and start again, fresh and NEW in about a month or so... We'll go to the potty a couple times a day just to keep the concept fresh in her mind! When we do start again, we'll take her shopping, and make it a big dog deal and have more fun with it! Thanks for all the tips, advice and help! It really is very helpful!!! ~T.~
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J.
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I just recently went through this with my son.... my biggest learning was that my pedi told me that when he would sit on the potty and not go, and then go 2 minutes after he got up, his brain simply wasn't getting the message to let go. He knew he had to go but didn't have the control yet to release the muscles and make it happen. No amount of training and frustration for you will make this change until the brain develops enough to make it happen.
The second thing I learned is not to make them captive on the potty. Give them 5 minutes tops. After that it becomes a power struggle.
The final note I will add is to remind them every 5 minutes to tell you when they have to go potty. That puts them in control and makes them feel more grown up about it.
I fought this battle with my son for months. As soon as I stepped away from it to give him a break for a week, I only gave him a few gentle reminders to tell me when he had to go potty, and that was when he started going on a regular basis. It is hard to be patient, there were many times I thought it was never going to happen and then it was like overnight and he was trained. Keep in mind though, every child is different and the techniques used for some may not work on all.
Good Luck!
J.
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C.P.
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She must not have put 2+2 together yet...sitting on the potty is to achieve bladder and bowel relief. She may be getting the "signal" but there's still a disconnect in her understanding. That's where the books and videos help a lot. The video we used was Once Upon a Potty. It has a catchy song that will drive you crazy after awhile, but I didn't care & I'm sure you won't either if it gets results!
Don't worry, she WILL be using the potty before you know it. Using a sticker reward system also works wonders. If her stool is pretty solid, empty it into the toilet with her watching, telling her that's where poop is supposed to go. I'm a firm believer in peer pressure, too. Once you know she understands & has accomplished using the potty several times, send her in panties to mothers-day-out or preschool a couple of days a week if possible. Show her where the potty is before you leave, and let her know she will be wet or poopy if she doesn't use it. Good luck!
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M.K.
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Hi T., I remember those days and mine totally could care less when she was wet! What finally worked? Peer pressure. I enrolled her in a preschool program that required kids to be potty trained. I told her that if she had an accident, the teachers would have to put new clothes on her and she would have to leave play time. I held my breath, but it worked. Good luck!
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C.T.
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T.,
I have two little boys and found a couple of tactics that worked well for us:
Having them engaged in the selection on the potty chair
Books, videos etc about potty training to prepare them for the process
Having them accompany the same sex parent when he/she uses the rest room
Once I did these things, I started with the following process:
Celebrate the fact that they are now a big boy or girl with a favorite activity. Then advise that this now means they will need big boy (or girl) underwear like Mommy or Daddy or older sibling and will use the potty all the time like big girls and boys do.
Remove the diapers and pullups from the house completely (let her see you do this).
Place him/her on the potty hourly and advise them to go pee or poop and that they pee or poop wants to be in the new potty.
If you can stand it, let her go bottom-less around the house for the first couple of days and watch very closely for signs. When she shows signs or begins going, rush to the potty chair and celebrate (book, toy etc). You may wish to move the potty chair to the area of the house you spend the most time until she gets it. You may also try to convince her that potty time is special by having a special toy or book that she can only use while she is going potty. When you place her on the potty hourly, let her sit 5 minutes or so until she is done. If she doesn't go, no big deal. Just pull up her big girl undies and proceed with your day. If you are really concerned with accidents, use the rubber pants over the panties. I would only use Pull ups during nap and nighttime. Once she has a few accidents and realizes where she should relieve herself, she will ask or go by herself. The key is consistancy! It will be hard at first but stick to it and she will come around. It took about a month for me to train my two and half year old this way. Now, he goes by himself and rarely has a nightime accident. Good luck. I hope some of this info helps!
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B.S.
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Also, don't ask her if she needs to go potty. Tell her it's time to go potty or "Come on, let's go potty." She'll turn you down if you ask her. It's not her choice as to whether or not she goes to sit on the potty. They make inexpensive cushion seats that fit on the large toilet seat and it works well when they aren't scared to sit up so high. Never make a negative remark about it while she is in this stage, whether she goes or not. If she gets the idea she can get control of your emotions, she'll use it as a tool. Just be patient. Some can potty train in a few days or weeks....most take longer. It depends on their understanding of it.
I prefer the thick cotton Gerber training panties to anything else. Big girl panties are a reward once they've accomplished telling you when she needs to go. She may not understand the signals yet...but will get it once she's had several successes. One of the signs of being ready to train is staying dry during nap and night sleep. Another sign is telling you after she's done it. It takes lots of patience. She may still have occasional accidents as late as four years of age. That's when they wait too long because they don't want to stop playing long enough to go.
Put her on the potty every hour if you want...but that's really making a big deal out of it. I have a routine and take everyone at the same time....before and after meals/snacks, before and after sleep. Before leaving the house and as soon as you return. They will learn that those are the times to go. They will have to eventually learn how to hold it so that their bladders will expand. Pick your priorities.
