Potting Training HELP!!!

I'm having a similar problem with my daughter; third child. My other two children (boy and girl) were fully (day and night) potty trained by three; they started by 2 years. My little girl knows when she needs to go but will only use the potty when her sister is home. They go to the bathroom together. I even tried making it available to her, sitting her on it, thick underwear, etc. I'm going to try and not get frustrated with her because her siblings got it quick but it's not easy. She will do so when she's ready.

When you begin potty training you can not stop, do not use pull ups and start out sitting him on the pot every 30mins. If the child sees that you are frustrated that what he is doing is working and you need to change that.
I had a little boy in my daycare that would not use the pot I made it a game. I put cereal in the water and I told him to shoot the aliens with his pee and it worked. I had to use the cereal for a while but he finally got the idea and than I did not need the cereal anymore.

hey L.! first of all, BREATHE A SECOND HONEY! dont get frustrated... you arent doing anything wrong by trying to motivate him to go. but sweetie, hes not even three! hes still a baby! hes way too busy getting into EVERYTHING to be bothered with potty training right now! why the rush?? boys are notoriously harder to train, and the more you push it, the more hes going to pull back and regress. you may be ready to get the diaper thing over with, but your son may not be ready. sitting him on the potty isnt training, its catching any void he may produce, but he isnt consciously doing it himself. take a step back, stick him in pull ups, wait a few weeks, and see if he doesnt start getting into the potty thing himself. just be PATIENT. youve done everything you can to encourage him, now its up to your son to take the next big step. GOOD LUCK!!

But you didn't say what the benefit to him would be! I would totally stop for a few months. Then get some books and videos from the library. No More Diapers for Ducky was a favorite of my son because the duck kicks the diaper across the room. Make it fun and interesting. Think of big boy things he can start doing...setting the table, walking at the store instead of riding in the cart, getting his own library card, picking between two choices about you make for dinner, dumping the ingredients into the dinner, etc. Think of choices he can make or things he can do that won't make you too frustrated and talk about how grown up he's getting. You don't say if he's ever gone on the potty, but getting one that plays music when he goes was great for my son. He didn't care when I told him what it did, but after I demonstrated it one day, he was suddenly very interested. Go in steps, first sitting with his pants on, then with only his diaper on, then tell him, oh it might be cold, but it will warm up soon, would you like to sit like a big boy? Sitting on it first thing in the morning can be helpful, and just sit there and read books or play games while he's on the potty chair. Once he's peed on the potty a few times then you might be ready to actually train. This is a SKILL that needs to be learned and if everything is fun it can be a huge positive accomplishment for your son. Before you start training, take him on a potty party tour of stores you frequent on a day you're running errands. Just have him sit on the toilet at each place so when he is potty trained he'll be comfortable in these places. NO PRESSURE to do anything but sit on the toilet with his pants down like a big boy. Then take a week and focus on helping him learn this new skill. At home go naked most of the time or in underpants. I stayed home for 5 days and then went to the woods where he could pee on trees and on day 7 went to a friend's house where I wouldn't be embarrased if he had an accident. Then I would bring a backpack into stores with me with paper towels and a change of clothes so that if he had an accident I'd be able to handle it better...no pressure on him since he's learning. But at home when he was learning and had an accident I would say "Run to the potty" and carry him to the bathroom, act crazy, have fun. About day three he was peeing in my living room and HE said "Run to the potty" and after that he really got it. He has to have time to learn what it feels like when he has to go, how long it takes to get there, how to sit on the potty and relax enough to release the urine, etc. I gave my son wrapped prizes (trade a friend for the "junk" in the bottom of her toybox) that he got for SITTING on the potty while I read three books, because he knew how to do that. He did not know how to sit and pee on command yet. After day 4 or so when he was really getting the feel of it, but not always wanting to stop playing, I would give him a chocolate chip to stop playing and SIT on the potty, no pressure to go, this is fun, big boy stuff here, but sometimes big boys need to stop and sit on the potty. After he mastered peeing, about five days, he started being dry at night, so I stopped diapers completely, and five days later we worked on pooping in the potty. I took him to the toy store and HE picked out a $20 truck. I told him when he pooped on the potty he could have it. Next morning he got up, sat on the potty every 5 minutes for two hours until he pooped on the potty. HE was self motivated to earn the truck and so empowered and proud when he did. He also picked out a set of about 15 trucks and earned one every time he pooped on the potty to reinforce all this in a positive way. Then we went on vacation and stopped the prizes and when we came back he never asked about them. I would say for several weeks I took chocolate chips with me when I was out and felt he needed motivation to stop playing and go to the bathroom and then would just take him when I went. When I get someplace I normally go and have him go so he's less likely to be involved with something and have an accident. He'll sometimes say "I don't have to go" which means I'm not bursting yet. This was frequent the first week, then he'd have an accident 10 minutes later. I tell him we'll just empty whatever little bit is in his bladder and he goes with that. Good luck, when you start again, please make it fun, all rewards, no negativity, and let him be proud he's a big boy.

Hi L.,

I don't know if this is worth anything, but don't be too hard on yourself -- or him. He's still pretty young yet, and I know plenty of children who weren't potty trained by their third birthday. I have potty trained my two children. Yes, they both potty trained sometime before they turned three, but I think they both did it when they were ready. My son pee trained at 2 and 4 months (no pants, stickers, and M&Ms were involved), but honestly, #2 took much longer -- six more months to be exact. He wore pullups to preschool and underwear at home. I cleaned up a lot of poo accidents -- in public and at home. But he was my only at that time, so I had more time to dedicate to all that. He poo trained at 2 1/2 pretty much on his own, and night trained himself by his third birthday. My daughter and I had a different experience. She showed LOTS of interest last summer, just after her second birthday, so we started in the summer. I was very inconsistent using pull ups, going out, not staying at home, but I was determined to have her trained. I too was getting very frustrated, but then I just figured, "WHY? Maybe my child isn't ready. Is is worth getting so upset with my child?" So, I backed off. Totally. She went happily back to diapers for about 4-5 weeks. I stopped asking her and taking her to the potty. Then one day she said she wanted to sit. I said sure and praised her a lot for the result. She was doing great and then became quite ill with the flu, and went back to diapers for about 10 days. When she was well enough, she regained interest. By this time, we were visiting family for Christmas and everyone gave her tons of attention and praise. By the end of our 9 day vacation, we put her in underwear. It was as if a switch went off in her head. The potty business finally clicked with her when she was ready. I had taught her what to do, as you have done with your son. But ultimately, children have control over whether or not they will use the potty -- and most know it. My daughter is EXTREMELY independent. Maybe your son is, too? Maybe try backing off for a few months? Why now do another big push this summer, when it's warm? I have another friend who trained all three of her children using the potty training in one day method (look for the book). Another friend promised her almost three year old son a Razor scooter (yes, he's an amazingly coordinated second child) and it worked. Good luck with it all. PT has been one of my most unfavorite parts of parenting. It's gross, you have to deal with big cleanups and public restrooms, etc, but he'll get it --eventually. Sometimes I still marvel at the fact my son (now almost six) does all his tolieting himself, and has for quite some time.

This is how I potty trained my son in two days:

1. Every hour on the hour, sit him on the potty for 5-10 minutes
2. Once he accidentally goes potty in it, make a huge big deal over it: clapping, hugs, kisses, cheering....the works
3. Show him how you pull out the little tray and empty it in the big potty, then let him flush it down. If he wants to throw some toilet paper in with it, let him.
4. Give him a special treat that is reserved ONLY for going potty, something he craves intensely (a lot of people would say, "don't use food" but I did. We found these healthy fruit gel tubes my son ADORED and he would only get one if he'd gone potty in the potty chair.)
5. Tell him that he's becoming a big boy now and every time he goes potty like a grown up he is going to get another of his special treats.

After two days, my son was going on his own without being reminded and walked through it. Consistency is key. Don't forget, every hour, like clockwork. Try it over a long weekend and he'll have the hang of it by Monday and will most likely be notifying you when he has to go. My son actually took it so far as to go in there about every 15 minutes and sit until he could produce a few drops, just so he could get his treat. I always gave him one too, even for just a drop because this was the kind of behavior I wanted to encourage. The most important thing is to make him WANT to go potty in the potty chair. The way you do this is to offer an irresistible treat that is reserved ONLY for potty successes. Within one month I had phased out the treat (gradually) and he was going potty on his own, when he needed to, and would notify me when he was done so we could flush it down together.

I hope this works for you too! Best of luck! :)

L., two hours is far to long to wait. Go buy a timer that has an annoying beep that you can st to go off at certain intervals.

Start with thirty minutes. Set the timer to go off every thirty minutes and make a big spectacle..."It's POTTTYYYYY TIME! IT"S POTTTTYYYY TIME!" assist your lil guy for the first two days. At night set it for every two to three hours and cut back all fluids two hours before bedtime.

After three of four days slowly work up to a few hours inbetween during he day and five at night.

Trust me this works.

I can only tell you what finally worked for my daughter who was very resistent to potty training and was a little over 3. Her daycare director recomended it and I was amazed. She held it all morning at preschool and would tend to let loose as soon as she got home. One day after school I told her she would have to stay in the kitchen (hardwood floors vs carpet in living room) until she was able to go potty. After 5 minutes she was bored, dragged her potty in and went. She was trained after that. We also changed the rewards to something she wanted (tastycake for pee, piece of ho ho for poop) and she got to call daddy with her good news. There was also a dvd No More Diapers that seemed to help her. Now I am training my 2 /2 yr old boy, so we will see if boys are different than girls, but if he knows when he needs to go, it sounds more like a power struggle to me. Good luck to you.

I have a daughter, so I don't know about boys. She really got it at 2 1/2, but she didn't achieve nighttime dryness until she was 4 1/2 (totally different mechanism than daytime dryness because a hormone, Anit-diuretic hormone, is involved). On the advice of a friend, I put a potty in the room where she played the most (our family room) so she could go potty and keep on playing. That really helped her. Once she got a diahrrea. She just pulled up her potty and kept on playing while she got those nasty germs out of her system. Another friend recommended using potty videos to help her get the idea. That helped a lot, too.

I understand boys take a lot longer. Is daddy around to help show him how men do it?

oh, honey. he's just a two-year-old. he's not lazy, or defiant, or bad. please own your own frustration. the best thing you can possibly do, for him but mostly for you, is to back off. it makes you nut up because it seems so easy for you, but for a little it just doesn't compute.....until it does. and when it does it will be fine. but you can't force comprehension.
let it go and enjoy your little boy, diapers and all. they'll be gone soon, and so will his toddler-hood.
khairete
S.

I have a daughter that will be 3 in April too. She is ready, she can sleep through the night and tell me in the AM that she needs to pee. But, she refuses to do #2 on the pot. And, if she is busy she won't pee either. It's been a challenge. I've told her that she has til her birthday to start being a big girl or she can't go to preschool (which she really wants to do). I'm hoping this will help me. As for your boy, try the cereal game, let him aim for the cheerio in to toilet bowl. I know that worked well for my sister-in-law with one of her boys. Best of luck!

Hi L.,
I think your son is telling you he isn't emotionally ready yet. My son was the same way. I recommend easing off the training talk and just let him be in charge of this one. He's learning about his independence and may be feeling he has no control of anything. Believe me, when you decide now is not the time and just roll with it, it's far less stressful for you and him. It may take a long time from now for him to be ready but it may make life easier for all.

D.

Just don't rush it. My son was the same in the beginning. He went pp and poo poo the first try and I thought OMG...that's it...he's trained. WRONG! He stopped going all together. Just refused, didn't care about rewards. So I stopped pressuring him and waited. He was a couple months past three when he was ready again. He goes all the time now. Now, poo poo was a different story. Again, all the bribes in the world didn't work. I had to stick to my guns when I knew he was ready. I stopped buying diapers all together and put him down for his nap without a pull up. He took a couple of times but he finally got it and now goes all the time. It just takes patience and time. Let them truly be ready both emotionally and physically! GOod luck.

I hate to tell you this, but my first son was 3 and 8 months before he pooped in the potty even one time! After that, he only had 3 or 4 accidents after. It just takes them time to get it down. And I agree w/some of the others, it sounds like he's not ready. Most boys do not fully train by 3! So, don't put the pressure on yourself or your son! He will feel your frustration, and become frustrated and give up if you keep up the pressure! I do like the 30 min timer idea too, its time consuming and makes for a very busy day, but if you can do it and you think he'll take to it, then try it. If he really resists, though, you'd be better off to just let it go for a month or 2 and try again! If it makes you feel any better, my 2nd son is doing much better because he has big brother to try to be like, and he wants to do everything that Garen does! Ethan actually told me he had to poo poo and went in the potty last night! He will be 3 in May! SO, there is at least hope for earlier training for any kids after this one! and by then you'll have practice! Good luck, and take a deep breath! Like someone else said, these years don't last long and you'll wish you could pat that diapered bottom again!

Sounds like he just isn't ready. Unless there is a reason he needs to be trained I would just wait. Boys are often later than girls and 3 1/2 isn't unusual.

We had this SAME issue with out son. Our dauther was fully tained by 2.5, he was 3.5, and we have one more son who will be 2 in March, and he is showing interest. However, my older son refused to go, he didn't care about being wet or being messy, he just didn't wnat to go to the potty. We just finally took all pull-ups away. He no longer had the option at all to not go to the bathroom on himself. He got stickers for going potty and would lose his sticker for an accident - worked better than candy because he could have it and then lose it. We just had to stay at him and it took about 3 weeks. But he has not had any accidents, day or night, since then. Good luck!

Try to see if you can find the "peter Potty" at a walmart near you. It is a stand up urinal for boys to learn to pee on there own. It helped my son to potty train and it is so much easier. It is adjustable for their height as well and flushes (although I didn't fill it with water because my son loved to flush even if he didn't pee in it).
Also I would just suggest to take it easy and don't make it an issue with him. Most children will learn and do it on their own schedule, IMO.
Good luck.

Hi L., we were having similar issues with our son who is 3. We found that in the beginning it helped to move the potty somewhere more accessible like their bedroom where he sees it more often. Also now we have a potty chart that I made on excel. It has the days of the week and we put stickers on it every time he uses the potty. He really loves it even though he still isn't successful every time. Hope this helps.

I'm in the midst of potty training my son right now and am not an expert by any means, but thought I would offer up what worked for us. If possible, I would try to put him back in the underwear again during waking hours (try the training pants which are a bit thicker), while keeping up with the sitting him on the potty every hour or two. I'm not sure how long you tried doing either one already, but my son's been potty training for about a month, and only recently has he started to actually ask me to go, and when I say ask, he'll come up to me and say quietly "pee pee", so I have to be paying attention.

We have not gone back to diapers except for nap time and bedtime and during long car drives we use the easy up diapers (not pull ups, but just easy ups, that go on like underwear). If you wanted, you could also pull an easy up diaper OVER his underwear if you go someplace that you're worried about having an accident.

Every child is different, so chances are you'll stumble across what works for your child by trying the advice of many different people to find out what works for him.

Good luck and keep us all posted on his progress.

A. (Mom of Alex, 28 months)