Postpartum Depression, Who Do I Tell?

Updated on March 31, 2011
T.P. asks from Huntington Station, NY
22 answers

My son is 6 months old now and pretty much since his birth I have had on and off depression symptoms and have thought "i think i could have post partum depression" probably about once or twice a week since he was born. Ive finally decided I should go tell the doctor to see what we can do because im getting sick of being depressed and feeling like my life is over. My question is.. who do I tell. This is already very embarrassing for me to admit and I'm nervous to go to my primary care doctor and blurt out all the things im feeling and have them tell me "oh your supposed to talk to your ob about this" or vice versa and then I have spilled my guts to someone whos looking at me like im crazy. So.. who do I talk to?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well.. I called the OBGYN and asked if thats where I should go, they said yes. I made an appointment.. dreaded it the entire week and bawled my eyes out the minute the doctor walked into the room. I am glad I went, it almost made me feel better just getting it all off my chest. I am making an appointment with another dr (shrink) and he prescribed me some anti-depressants for the time being. :) thank you all so much, I dont know if I wouldve went without all the encouragement.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

You can tell either, but I would tell the OB. They know more about it and see it ALL the time. It's quite common. They will give you valuable information and treatment, and will help you realize you don't have to be embarrassed!! It's a hormonal thing, and it happens to the best of us.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Miami on

Most certainly, I would talk to my OB/GYN about this since it is directly related to the birth of your baby. It's all hormones and they are a bit unbalanced, nothing to be embarrassed about at all. We ALL experience some sort of "depression" after the birth of a baby whether it's periodic crying for a few days or weeks after the birth and some women up to 2 years after giving birth. Your body has experienced something beautiful (growing a baby) but quite traumatic as well (giving birth). Don't delay, call your OB tomorrow and make an appointment. Sooner than later.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

You can and should tell your ob or your Primary care Dr. Either one will likely refer you to a counselor. Don't worry about it, and don't be embarrassed, it's a common hormonal depression and it is very common for Dr's to hear about it and to help women with it. You and your baby will greatly benefit form getting this treated.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it is amazing that you are able to admit this, even when you feel embarrassed about it. I know how you feel; you feel like you have so much in life to be grateful for that there is no reason you should feel depressed. But don't make yourself feel guilty, and don't be embarrassed, because it's not your fault. Post-partum depression is a medical condition that needs treatment just like any other ailment, so good for you for getting yourself the help you need. Don't be nervous about it; if your doctor is a good doctor, he/she will know exactly what you are talking about and be completely understanding. Many women go through the exact same thing you are going through right now. You could go to either your primary care doctor or your ob/gyn because both could treat you with medication and refer you to a therapist. I guess it would just depend on who you feel more comfortable with (or maybe who could see you sooner, just so you can get treatment as soon as possible). Don't be embarrassed, no one will think you are crazy. In fact, you are a great mother for wanting to get treatment for your depression.

2 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I had the same problem when I had my last baby, I think when he was around 6 months I finally gave up and decided I needed help. Luckily for me I was due for my annual. When I talked to the lady on the phone while making my appointment I asked her If I still could be experiencing postpartum depression 6 months out. She said def yes and I talked to my doctor about it at my appointment. I was prescribed meds that helped me trenmendously. If your not wanting to take any meds, I would start with your OB and have them recommend a psychiatrist or counselor. You are not crazy, you are not alone, and you deserve help.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New York on

I would talk to your OB/GYN and then take it from there. Do not be embarressed. This is not something you did, it's a hormone imbalance.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Chicago on

What kind of relationship do you have with your primary care physician and your doctor? Pick the one who you 'groove with' better.

Oh boy, big sigh, here I go...I've never publicly admitted this on this site. I had major PPD with my second child and telling my ob and my pcp were the best decisions I ever made. I was very worried about the stigma associated with "being crazy" and I was worried that it would change how they viewed me as a patient because I plan on being their patient for a very long time.

If anything, it only made our patient-physician relationship stronger. My ob got the ball rolling and had me admitted to the hospital (borderline psychosis) and my pcp actually visited with me when I was there. Because I feel my pcp is more 'personable', I completely unloaded everything in my brain with him (that and I know he is married with children and very sensitive to how it is being a new mom, I knew he would understand). It felt freeing, like a weight had been lifted off of me. I got on the right course of medicine and counseling and have never felt better!

My point being - TELL! Tell your doctor because he or she is there to help and he or she will know what to do, where to direct you, and how to guide you back to better emotional health. They deal with depression more often than you'd think and many can be exceptionally compassionate.

Good luck and I hope you find comfort *hugs*

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your OB, just schedule an appt. and blurt it all out sis!

I had what I thought was just the 'baby blues' with my 1st kid, coped by myself, 2nd kid had it as well, was WAY harder on ALL of us, 3rd time around I was smart enough to speak up...LIFE SAVOR!

They put me on 10mg of Zoloft. First time I had ever taken any medication, almost gave up a few time b/c the first couple weeks it made me feel really weird, in my brain, but I stuck with it and was SO much better after that! I weaned myself off (with Dr.'s help) about 1 yr later.

Your not alone and you are doing the right thing!

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi T.
To be honest I view mental health issues in the same way as having a physical ailment.
So basically who would you tell if you were suffering from a headache or kidney pain etc etc.You would feel no shame to admit that you had a physical pain right? so why this shame about a depression that you are going through?
Tell the people that need to know so they can help you.This should include your doctor/family/friends/employer? etc.
You are not crazy! You are in tune with your emotions and strong enough to admit that all is not right.
Wishing you all the happiness in your future!
B.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

CONGRATULATIONS on the birth of your son!!

GREAT JOB!! ACKNOWLEDGING your symptoms - that's VERY hard for many people to do!!

DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED!! You have NOTHING to be embarrassed about.

I would talk to my OB/GYN or my Primary Care if I have a good relationship with them. Then ask for referrals to therapists who can help you with your depression - not just a pill to mask the symptoms.

Make sure your blood is taken - the chemicals in your body - natural ones - can be amazing and do some funky stuff all at the same time.

You are NOT alone! You are NOT crazy. Your life is NOT over!!

ALL THE BEST!!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Lakeland on

Neither your OB or your pcp will look at you like your crazy! I promise! After the birth of my first son, I had horrible ppd and I knew it. I finally admitted it and was put on some awesome medication. When I got pregnant with my second child, my OB and I talked about my ppd returning. The day after I delivered I was put on medication again (per my request) as I was feeling depressive symptoms towards the end of my third trimester. Well this time around, I was on a different medication bc my insurance wouldn't pay for the first one I was on after my first birth. Well that medicine wasn't working and so I called my OB, totally forgetting that he went on Sabbatical. I saw another OB in the practice who told me to exercise more and drink a glass of wine in the evening. Really?!? The next day I made an appt with my pcp and "spilled" my guts to her. She listened to me, cried with me and comforted me in so many ways. She changed my meds and now I am perfectly happy 8 months postpartum. Sorry for the long story but I just wanted to get it out there that either one will help you. Call and make that appointment...you will be so much happier and healthier!!! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Your primary doctor OR your Ob should both be able to help you. I would probably talk to my OB first though.
L.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I would tell my OB. But even if he/she refers you to the other doctor, they definitely won't look at you like you are crazy. PPD is not a 'crazy' problem... it is a reaction your body has to the hormone and life changes. There is absolutely nothing you did to cause this, or bring it on yourself. The best thing you could possibly do is get help for it. I knew a woman who wouldn't be seen because she was ashamed of having PPD... she got depressed enough that one day she loaded her kids up in the car and drove off a bridge with them. (she had 2 other kids, plus her 10 month old baby) Luckily, they were saved and there were only minor injuries. She was diagnosed with PPD at the hospital, and was treated for it. She says that her biggest regret is being too proud to have gotten the help she needed... (I don't put that thinking this is what will happen, not all cases will get that severe... BUT it HAS happened...) PPD can get worse as time goes by, so it's best not to try to 'wait it out'. Talk to your doctor. I promise you, he won't think you are crazy. Congratulations on your baby! :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.N.

answers from Boston on

I don't know what the 'right' answer is. But I would start with my OBGYN. Maybe call and ask to talk to a nurse there....

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Call your OB. If they aren't helpful, call your PCP. It they aren't helpful, call a therapist. Keep telling people until you get help that suits you. When you are in the midst of this, you aren't in the position to really be objective. So just blab about it until you get some support.

Honestly, your OB is supposed to be the one you talk to, but OBs often arent' food. And family doctors might react differently since they can treat the "whole" person a little better. Don't feel bad for demanding what you need - you are not th eonly one and you owe it to yourself and your baby. Don't be disuaded.

You will get through this and feel normal again. Hormones are crazy things :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Tell your Doctor.
Also tell your Husband.
I am sure, he would not his Wife to be not well.

But you NEED to tell your Doctor.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from New York on

First let me say I know first hand how difficult this is. Def. talk to your OB! When I went through this and it was a combo of medication and counseling that helped me. I found the North Shore Family Guidance center. I believe hey were in Roslyn but you can google them. They met with me and my husband to help explain what was going on. I was part of a mom's group- for women who had ppd. T really helped to talk with them and the counselors about what I was going through, how difficult it was to make my husband understand and how to do that. They also have a psychiatrist that was able to prescribe the correct medication specifically for my needs. I wish you and your baby the best and urge you to at least look into this place. They helped me when I believed I was really in trouble.

1 mom found this helpful

M.W.

answers from Nashville on

Talk to your OB. They deal with this all the time. Do NOT let anyone make you feel like less of a woman or a mother because a hormonal imbalance is screwing with your emotions. Don't be embarassed. This isn't your fault, and you will feel better after getting some help. Enjoy your son!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from New York on

I would talk to your OB or midwife. When I realized I was suffering from it 5 mos pp, I called my midwife first, and she was able to help me find good psychiatrists that were under my insurance plan (that's how much they see this -- they know all the psychiatrists in the area!).

Personally, I would recommend counseling and medication. Both are important in my experience, and I would not be doing nearly as well if I were only getting one or the other.

I would also recommend seeking help as soon as possible. It's very normal not to realize you ahve PPD until 5-7 months pp, but when you do, prompt treatment is important. The sooner you're treated, the better your chances for a complete recovery and the easier it usually is to recover.

Remember, roughly 400,000 women get PPD every year! It is incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of! I have shared my PPD/PPA quite openly (even with people I don't know all that well) and have received nothing but love and support. You'd be surprised how many people even confided in me that they've been through the same thing! You have a ton of "sisters" who've been through the same thing, and are cheering you on!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from New York on

First off, do not be embarrassed!! This is a well-known disease that can be treated, and (barring stupid Tom Cruise) holds no social stigma. You need to be treated and get well for you and your whole family. Tell your ob/gyn. He/she will be well versed in this issue and will be able to provide you with medication,support, resources, whatever you need. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.C.

answers from New York on

One of the crosses of depression is feeling isolated - and being isolated. Post partum is now really well recognized and understood. Know that your doctor will show you compassion and understanding. I'd go to your ob.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.Y.

answers from New York on

As most have said, starting with your ob is a good plan. I grew up on Long Island and I know of one well known counseling agency that goes by the abbreviation FEGS but I now can't recall the full name. My mom works in the social work field and there are many qulaified people in Nassau county. Many hospitals have counseling departments (you can search online for hospitals near you and check their web sites to see). You might have a branch of the North Shore LIJ hospital system near you.

Please don't be afraid to reach out for the help you need. Depression is a very common and treatable type of mental illness.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions