Post Partum Depression

I think it's wonderful of you to be concerned with helping her. Afer my first baby I found myself going through PPD issues & it was just awful.

As the other ladies have suggested, the best thing you could do for her is to let her have a break. And don't treat her as thought she were fragile; I'm certainly not assuming you would, but it might make her feel uncomfortable if you were to inadvertently behave as though she "had a problem." Make sense? Treat her normally, don't be too coddly & give her a nice break once in a while.

You're a great sister in law to help out!

I had MAJOR PPD after my first born (now age 8). Mine was to the point that I did not want to take meds or even admit I had a problem. Looking back now, I felt overwhelmed by being a new mom since my son was in NICU his first week of life and my husband had to go back to work the week our son came home. I was still experiencing hypertension to the point my milk actually soured, my son was allergic to the extra iron formulas had, and I was not sleeping at all.

I appreciated any and all help I could get as well as company since I did not trust myself with my own baby. Yes, I was deathly afraid I would harm him and would call my mom or neighbor any time I felt that way. It was a horrifying experience.

Praise your SIL often, offer as much help as possible, and don't remind her about the depression. I HATED it when I was asked if I had taken my pill, etc. We feel like horrible mothers knowing we are not handling motherhood well at all.

If she needs to talk to someone who had really been there, she can contact me ANYTIME.

Praying for all involved but especially her.

J. S.

Please help him understand that his wife is not being herself right now. She has a serious illness. My aunt had it after their second baby, at that time you really didn't hear much about the illness. It ruined their marriage, they got divorced. Now, that they both know what it was-she had all the signs- it's too late. He ended up getting with someone else and it ruined every chance of them ever getting back together. I also want to add that I also had another aunt that had it, during that time her and my uncle had a lot of marital problems, but he stuck by her side, he helped a lot around the house when he could, gave her all the support, had his sisters and his mom help around a lot. I would probably say that in her case it lasted about 2 years, maybe less, but once she got over it they where as happy as they could be.

I had PPD and didn't even know what it was...I wanted to leave my child some days on a street corner(this was 9 years ago) and those who know me know that now I am madly in love with my kids...anyhow, I was too ashamed to admit my feelings, so as long as she is admiting it and seeking help.

When my second child came along, I knew by then that I had been suffering with PPD, so my doc gave me medication as soon as he was born...and what a LIFESAVER it was! God Bless and let her know that I will pray for her.....

I went through PPD with all three of my kids. She will not ask you for help, but that is what she needs. I felt that evenings were especially hard - trying to get a meal made, bathe the kids and get them down for bed. Almost always I would receive phone calls that around the same time too, from well meaning people, sometimes even DH, but they would always send me over the edge. Still do! LOL! But I generally felt totally out of control in the evening because I was so tired.
If you live near enough to her, go over to help her a couple of nights a week - or make her some meals that will freeze. My MIL did this for me after my most recent birth and that helped so much not having to worry about what I was going to feed everyone at night (I have 2 boys 4 and 2.)
Take care of the baby while she goes for a walk or goes to work out - exercise helps so much!! BUT - be careful not to make her feel like she needs to loose weight - that always threw me into a tail-spin as well. Word it so that it is "a way for you to have some time alone." "Go pamper yourself while I take care of the baby for an hour or two."
- Your brother can hire a service as one poster said, or if that is not in the budget, either pick up a lot of the housework or learn to overlook it for the time-being.
- HE needs to tell her what a good job she is doing, that he loves her, etc.
- HE needs to get her out of the house for a date and let you/someone babysit.
- If possible, he could come home from work during the dinner hour, help out, then work form home. Even if my DH could be home by 6:30 or 7 to occupy the older kids (when the baby went to bed) that was a big help.
I hope this helps, if she needs someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.
L.
____@____.com

Having time to myself. I had to learn that it was okay for me to pamper myself. I was on OB orders to spend 2 hours per week by myself, and that I had to work that up to 3 hours per week. It was the best thing in the world for me. That and finding other moms that were going through the exact same thing. I made a very good friend whose baby was born just 1 day after mine, and we were both suffering PPD.

I had the SAME experience as Julie S.

Be there as much as possible and do all baby related stuff as you can. Clean the house, make sure she takes care of herself also. Also get her to the doctor ASAP. It can turn severe in seconds especially if you have a high needs baby!

MEDICATION!
it is a serious chemical imbalance in the brain and she shouldn't be afraid to have to help herself balance it out.

i cried all the time; lots of times for no reason. i had EVERYTHING! a wonderful, helpful husband, a gorgeous perfect new baby, i didn't have to work. i couldn't stop wondering why i was so miserable. i wound up sitting in my doctor's office, bawling. then i discovered zoloft.

Offer her as much help as possible especially if she has more than one child. Anything to help her not be overwhelmed. I experienced this and will tell you that she may not solicit help. She will mostly want to be alone. Encourage her as much as possible and don't judge.

The sooner she can get professional help and possible short term medication, she should improve. Please let her know to not get dependent on the medication.

I think you are already doing a wonderful thing by being there for her. I had horrible PPD and I didn't talk to anyone or get help, and I think that caused it to last much longer. I never thought of hurting my son (he's my second child; my oldest son was 6.5 at the time), but I didn't bond with him at all until he was about 7 or 8 months old. Now I am so very sad about all of those months that I can't get back, the time I missed out on. What frustrates me most is that my husband, who is usually a fantastic husband, told me recently that of course he knew that I had PPD. Why didn't he say something at the time??? I would have gotten help! Anyway, we got through it, and now I am very happy and have wonderful relationships with both of my boys. I just hate that I missed out on the beginning of my youngest son's life. I was so depressed that I honestly don't even remember much of it. I'm so glad your sister-in-law is getting the help and support she needs.

Like the other poster said, try to help her as much as you can. Give her free time alone. Take the kids for a few hours. Ask her if she wants help around the house.

Her husband could hire a cleaning service to come in each week for awhile.

Little things really seem big when you are depressed, so try to take out as many of the little issues as you can.... fix her dinner, or just drop off some casseroles for the freezer. If you're at the store, call her and see if she needs anything.

It's good she's getting help. It's probably worse than she'll tell any of you. I know the weird thoughts that would pop into my head stayed there... no way was I telling anyone the freak-show that was going on in my mind. But I still went for help (still didn't tell everything) and got meds and got better.

Hi A.! I know how bad this can make you feel...i am currently taking some meds to help me with this. I think what i appreciated the most from my husband and others was when they told me how great of a mother i was being and how wonderful a job i was doing. It made me feel like all of this was for a good reason...which your SIL will realize when she's not depressed...but its good to be told and reminded of that.
Also...the one thing i HATED was when my husband or anyone else would point out my depression....i mean she knows its a problem, thats why she is getting help, but to be reminded of the depression before the doctors appointment made me actually feel worse...like "why can others keep it together and I can't?" I hope this makes sense!
And good luck to her and your family! I promise when they find a medication that helps, it will be so much better!