Possible OCD in 3 1/2 Year Old

Updated on April 08, 2011
E.T. asks from Farmington, IL
19 answers

I am trying really hard not to sound like a complete hypochondriac here, but I am starting to feel concerned that my 3 1/2 year old daughter may be displaying early signs of OCD. I've done some reading on the subject, but it hasn't been easy finding material on someone so young. I may be really off base and all this could be completely normal, but it would be really nice to hear from any of you that may have been through the same thing with your children. I'm having a hard time distinguishing what his normal toddler behavior and what may be leaning toward OCD. She is constantly putting things in rows or groups, which I know a lot of kids do, and I wouldn't be concerned if that were the only thing she was doing. She is also VERY routine oriented, and any break in the routine will throw her into a half hour or longer tantrum. She has to have the exact same three songs sang to her at night, in the same order. I noticed the other night I was singing the first song (Mr. Golden Sun) and I thought I would be silly with her and make up something funny for the last line of the song. She didn't flip out, but she kept singing the real words to the last line of the song under her breath the whole time I was singing her other two songs. It was like she didn't even hear me. I finally sang the last line of Mr. Golden Sun and all the sudden she was fine. She also is constantly asking me to wipe her nose because she can't stand it when her nose runs. (I suppose I should be pretty thankful for that little quirk since most kids HATE that!!) She will not drink anything but apple juice and occasionaly a little water or milk, but that is after much coaxing. If I try to sneak her another type of juice, she gets very angry. Its not the same kind of tantrum where she is just not getting her way, it's like she NEEDS to have the same kind of juice. She is a very happy little girl, is fine socially and EXTREMELY smart. She does not forget anything, even the smallest little details. She will remember the color of a shirt someone wore a year ago. I am wondering if that has anything to do with her possible OCD. She is very healthy and active, loves her fruits and veggies, and is otherwise normal. I just started becoming concerned with the whole bedtime song the other night. It was kind of strange. Any ideas??

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know anything about OCD, but I do know that kids this age THRIVE on routine. My daughter would watch the same movies over and over and over again. To the point where we put a TV in the playroom because I was sick of having my TV taken over!

It doesn't sound to me like this is an OCD issue, but more a comfort thing. She's particular. She likes organization. Can anyone say TYPE A personality?

As far as eating/drinking the same things, this too is comfort. Try introducing ONE new food each meal to her. Ask her to take a "tasting" bite. If she doesn't want more, don't push it. But do try to expose her to new things. She probably likes apple juice because it's sweet. Try to start watering down the apple juice - maybe add water to the jug when she isn't awake. That will help cut down her sugar and get her used to other juices that aren't as sweet. Also have her help make juice popsicles. Show her the juice you're using, like grape, then make them together. She might like trying her new creation.

Don't stress. This is a phase. Lots of little kids this age don't like change, don't want to share toys, or want their food, toys, etc. a particular way.

I think kids this age are just trying to control what they can - including what foods they will and won't eat. Be patient, but keep exposing her to new/different things.

Best wishes

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Bloomington on

Sounds like my nephew who has Aspergers, early intervention is key. Have her evaluated and if she is in normal range then all is well.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Our son's OCD peaked at four. You can get a diagnosis and help at a young age. The total meltdowns if things aren't done in the "right" order is a potential sign. With our son, we couldn't leave the house if we didn't do things "right." For instance, if we opened the garage door or car door, he'd insist on closing it and then opening it himself. If we didn't let him do this, it was an extreme, total meltdown. It's like his world came crashing down. My husband has OCD, so we knew pretty quickly we were seeing some red flags and talked to the child psychiatrist we were already seeing for his ADHD signs about possible OCD (which she confirmed).

Our son went on Celexa and that cleared up the OCD immediately. It's been in remission, for the most part, ever since.

Start with your daughter's pediatrician and ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist for an evaluation. Trust your gut instinct on this. A lot of people will pooh-pooh your concerns (sounds like a typical three-year-old to me!) but I've found it's always wise to listen to your instincts.

There is no worst thing that can happen here. You may see a specialist and just get reassurance that all is well. If it's OCD, you can get the ball rolling on helping your daughter live a happier life.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Kids this age, DO that.
It is developmental based.
They are learning about categorizing and grouping things and ordering.
ALL developmental based, and age appropriate.

Kids do that at that age.
And yes, they are picky.
They are getting an idea of themselves and their preferences. It is not set in stone yet.

Your child is FINE and very normal.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I do think that the behaviors you described should definitely be evaluated...for early intervention for her sake. That's going to be rough on her in the next few years if she doesn't develop a way to cope with changes in her routine.

Lining up the toys and having severe difficulty with any break in routine are symptoms for both OCD and autism spectrum disorder. I'd talk to your pediatrician about this and see what they suggest.

She'll be fine - she's just going to benefit from some specific intervention to make transitions a little easier for her.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Both my children like those routines too. I tell you, if my daughter is not given the "girly" color cup, it's a tantrum. They do just like things just so, it gives them a feeling of security and predictability that they need.

However, trust yourself. Start writting down those behaviors that seem out of the norm then when you have all your information gathered make an appointment with your pediatrician - I'd also discuss with your pediatrician some of the things other mom's have said here because IMHO the $100 feingold thing sounds like a scam. You may also want to take your daughter to a behavior health doctor for an evaluation also. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I want to also say your child is fine, but unfortunately, it's better to check these things out early than to let them go and chalk it up to age. I did that for my daughter for 9 years and she almost ended up in an institution, because things spiraled out of control for her so quickly that doctors could not even properly evaluate her at that point. I am not trying to use scare tactics, but please do consider the following-

-It sounds like your daughter is sensitive to salicylates. There are high amounts of salicylates in apples, especially in apple JUICE because you are ingesting far more juice than you would if you ate an apple. There is no balance of fiber for your body to tell you to stop. You can "drink" 5 or 6 or more apples at once, but you wouldn't naturally sit down and eat this many, if that makes sense. That is also a lot of sugar, which most parents blame as the culprit for kids' behaviors, but often it is other ingredients instead. Salicylates are natural and found in many whole foods- apples, almonds, some citrus fruits, tomatoes, and lots of processed foods. Go to www.feingold.org to find out more. Once you order the materials (about $100, it's really simple to follow the diet and it's an initial investment. After that, you can renew for a smaller fee and still have access online, etc.) I am not affiliated w/them at all- we were on the program for one year and learned it and then cut out all processed foods and do a modified version now. Apples, particularly, are a big trigger for my daughter, and like yours she was "addicted" to it- Juicy Juice especially for some reason.

Another thing I want to mention is that strep can often cause OCD and behavioral changes in children. I went through this with my daughter as well. She actually carried a lot of (mis)diagnoses, when she really had an UNdiagnosed strep infection!! This is called PANDAS and there is a lot of good info out there now versus several years ago when it was virtually unheard of. Try ACN Forums to connect with other parents, or you can contact me personally for a list of links if you are interested. There is one of the world's only diagnosing/ treating doctors in Oak Brook too: www.webpediatrics.com for his website and more information as well.

Please don't hesitate to contact me- I am happy to help. Above all, trust your instincts!!!

M.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Stop worrying. She is FINE. Part of it is normal behavior and the other part is personality. If she is routine, that's a wonderful thing. Kids learn by repetition, so don't claim OCD and start medicating her, because nothing is wrong. She is 3. She is very smart, so even if she is OCD, what is wrong in that she has to get it right. I would rather an OCD brain surgeon than a carefree, not a problem one that misses a spot...oops.

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G.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi E.,

It actually sounds like I wrote this letter! I am having the same issue with my 3 1/2 year old. They thought it was attributed to her age, however, after evaluating her they found that she is gifted. She has the same OCD tendencies that your daughter has as well as the extended tantrums. We had our daughter evaluated by a child psychiatrist who then referred us to a child behavioral psychologist. I guess their little brains are working at a higher level (intelligence-wise) in comparison to them being the young age that they are. I try to keep her schedule relatively the same as well as letting her know "what is coming next" in her day. We used reward charts (on an hourly basis) at first to get the temper tantrums under control. She was up to 6 tantrums a day lasting anywhere from 30-45 minutes. So...I guess for our two daughters this is the normal for them. The doctors reassured me that she would "grow out of this" eventually. Send me a message if you get any ideas that work, I would love to hear them.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My ex husband had OCD and was treated for it. It doesn't sound like OCD to me.Or at least anything severe from your description. His was debilitating.
From my experience and there are many now I am sure, that have been added to the list so I could be wrong, OCD are things that need to be repeated over and over. Such as turning off the stove and checking and rechecking hundreds of times. He drove around the block thought he hit someone and would go back and check hundreds of times. Others won't leave their homes because they are afraid of germs outside. (He couldn't go into restaurants after awhile because of this). It could become excaberated with stress. So far she sounds organized smart and spunky, and unless she is repeating things and will not leave the house she sounds quite normal and perhaps just likes sameness and routine. By all means if she does some of these thing when she is older and cannot function you would need to get help. Why are you thinking this? Is there a family member with this? Is it more unusual than it appears to me?

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

She sounds like a great girl. I wonder whether you might talk to someone or research the possibility of Asperger's (sp?) syndrome. My understanding is that children with this form of autism are very intelligent but very particular about how things should be. They often have social problems, although you mention that your daughter is fine socially, so that's great. In any case, it is good that you recognize that she is doing these things because she feels the need, not because she's trying to be difficult. This point of view will help you help her with whatever is challenging her. Even if there is nothing diagnosable, it may help to look into different things, so that you can understand her even better. A friend of mine had her son tested, and he wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's, but she recognizes some of the behaviors in him, and uses that information to help him deal with his challenges. It sounds like you've got an open mind and a desire to help her, which will serve you well. Good luck to both of you.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like PANDAS, get her on antibitotics and see if it clears up

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Hum, I'm certainly no expert at all as our oldest is just over 2.5, but he does many of the things you noted. I honestly think much of it is just normal toddler behavior. Have you asked her pediatrician about it? I wouldn't worry too much mama.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

This sounds like my daughter when she was three. She is now 13 and very detail oriented, a complete routine freak and neatnik.
Just going from weekend to school and school to weekend would send her into tizzies. She is now homeschooled and we work on her anxieties.
I have never had her checked out, this is just who she is.

Sometimes doctors will look for things when they know the mom wants an answer, like OCD and ADHD. If managed correctly these are not debilitating diagnoses.

I am not a doctor. Check her out if you are so inclined or deal with her idiosyncracies. It's who she is anyway.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It could just be her personality, or it could signify something more.

I think, per the advice of some of the other moms, particularly CAWritermom, that it might be worth your while to have her tested, just in case.

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J.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter and that sounds like pretty normal stuff to me. If you're concerned then it wouldn't hurt to check with her doctor though. For a while I thought my daughter was OCD too. For the longest time she had a thing with opening and closing doors. I think it started when she was about 2 years old. She loved to just stand there and open and close doors. Also, if anyone was going to go through a door around her she threw a huge fit if she didn't get to open and close it. Right now my daughter has a special way she has to kiss me goodnight every night (on the lips, on my right cheek, on my left cheek, on my nose, on my forehead and then on top of my head - in that order) and if I don't let her do it this way she gets upset.

As for the apple juice, if you don't want her drinking so much then just stop buying it. If you don't have any in the house then she will have to drink something else. You could also explain to her that from now on she's only going to be allowed to have one cup of juice a day and after that she has to dirnk water or milk. You can even tell her that her doctor or dentist said that she's not allowed more than one cup of juice per day because it's not good for her teeth.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, these all sound like behaviors of Asperger's...the lining things up, routines (and not being able to handle when they vary), needing the same exact things done in the same exact way, sensory issues (with the nose) and children with this are often intellectually precocious. Kids around this age do usually have preferences and do like routine, but it is concerning when they HAVE to have it, rather than just prefer to have it. It does not sound like OCD, but it would probably be beneficial to see a psychologist for an accurate diagnosis. There are many interventions that could help her. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter is 2.5 and very similar sounding. I asked my SIL who works with special needs kids and she said these are all very age-appropriate behaviors. My gut doesn't tell me anything is out of the ordinary, so I'm leaving it at that. But if you're nervous I'd try speaking with your pediatrician.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

My son's pediatrician (who I asked about the same sort fo thing) said that his reactions were because kids at that age thrive on routine, and if you deviate from it, it can be troubling for them. They spend so much of their early life setting up bedtime and bathtime and eating routines 9and so on), that once they get established that is what they know, it's their comfort.

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