Poop! - Phoenix,AZ

Just wait it out... you've come this far with just panties so putting pull-ups on again I think would set you back and confuse her. Good luck!

We had lots of issues with this side of potty training. My son didn't have a normal BM time, but rather several, various times of the day. At the end of my rope, I thought "why not" of a suggestion to put him on the pot after each meal. We would have him sit there for 5 min. and it was amazing what progress was made! He even became "regular" to go after a meal.
For him, it seemed like he needed the time set aside. I know this isn't really your case, but maybe just sitting after meal time will bring about the opportunity to try when it is more likely to be productive. She will just have to experience it enough times to get the hang of it. She is also able to help with washing panties. This can be helpful to you and her.

I am a firm believer in children being responsibile for themselves when they are able. I began using this philosophy when they were quite small. If you are big enough to pick something up and throw/drop it, then you are big enough to pick it up and put it away. We never played the "throw something from the highchair" many times. If they did, then I got them out of the chair and had them pick up what was thrown. It was tedious for me at the time but, they learned it just wasn't a fun game for them. I had my daughters clean their own underware. I put them in the tub, turned on the warm water, helped them remove their panties and they rinsed them under the water. Afterwards we both cleaned the tub. I told them that it was their own responsibility to clean up after themselves since they made the mess. I did not expect that they would get their panties clean. I ended up washing them again before putting them in the laundry. I DID NOT LET THEM SEE ME REWASH THE PANTIES. My oldest is almost 25 and graduating from college this year. She took a year off from school and totally suported her self that year. My girls have traveled to several other countries with different organizations. Every time they have been complimented on how mature and responsible they are. All of them are happy and productive people. I am using this philosophy on my great neices (who live down the street) now and their parents are amazed at their behavior. I know it will be messy in the short run but you probably won't have to do very often. Good luck.

Hi L. - I went through this about 7 months ago with my now 3 year old. I am convinced that the issue isn't that they don't know when they are having a BM but that they don't know what it feels like to have a BM while sitting in open air. I tired everything suggested - bribes, encouragement, reading on the potty, singing, even having her clean up her own mess and wash out the panties or if they were ruend throw them in the garbage. Nothing worked. The only thing that worked for me was making her completely naked. She threw a tantrum when she had to go and asked for a diaper/panties and I moved the potty in front of the tv and had her sit there till she whent. It only took 2 times before she learned what the feeling was like. Even though she was still a little scared after that, she's never had another BM accident. My best encrouagement to you is not to regress...don't give in to her or put her back in pullups. Good Luck.

Hey L.!
My son was the same way. I think most of the time he just didn't want to stop what he was doing long enough to go to the bathroom to poop.

I had friends who used candy or toys as a reward for going to the potty. We bought him big boy underwear with his favorite characters on them. Then if he soiled them, we would throw that pair away. He HATED losing them and only lost a total of two pair (i never threw out the underwear if he had an accident but made a good attempt to get to the potty on time). It may sound like a waste of money, but I felt better not bribing him with food and hoped that I was teaching him to be responsible for his things.
Hope this helped!

My 3 1/2 yr old was the same way. She is literally just in the past couple of weeks beginning to run for the bathroom instead of a hiding spot to poop. We started training in May, but with 2 weeks of vacation and a month of living in hotels while moving across the country, we've had some setbacks! She's been doing great with the peeing for about 6 weeks now, but refused to poop except in her panties. She's doing much better for the past week or two, but we still have "accidents" and "incidents" (where she knows what she's doing and hides to do it). We too tried everything we could think of, from every reward to even resorting to punishment when she does it on purpose. Last time she did it, I made her help clean the panties, and she was NOT excited about that. We'll see if she does it again.... That's my only good suggestion.

Good luck!

The only thing I can say, as I'm going thru the same stage, it have her help clean the underwear. I have my son, almost 3, help clean out the undies in the toilet, and he likes it even less than I do. It's great incentive. He has been motivated about not pooping in his underwear because he doesn't want to get his hands dirty or put them in the toilet.

Now he just waits for the nap time/night time diaper, but I'm ok with that for now. He will come around. Eventually. I hope. :)

Your mom is right. She probably doesn't know what it feels like. You can just have her take her panties to the toilet and dumping her poo in if you can. She may get tired of it. That has to be so frustrating though. I am sorry. Have her do as much clean up as possible and if she will wear the pull ups with out peeing in then on certain days. Give her some high fiber foods on those days like fresh peaches if she will eat them and one day soon it will click...with fewer accidents after. I would through the panties out too...lol
Good luck.

I have three children, the youngest being in middle school. I had the same problem with my middle son. He never wet himself, but refused to make a BM in the toilet. He usually saved doing it in his undies until we were out in public. Gross. He was 3 1/2, and this was becoming exasperating and with another baby on the way. Finally, what worked was a reward system. He wanted special undies like his big brother (at the time bright colored ones were the thing). We bought the underwear, but when he soiled in them we didn't even try to clean them. They were thrown away in front of him. We only purchased 3 pair, so after throwing away one pair, he knew he had to figure out not to let it happen again. Also, he wanted a Buzz Lightyear toy (in thing at the time). He and I made a poster with some Toy Story stickers and when he used the toilet he received a sticker. After the chart was filled with stickers his reward was the toy. The chart had enough spaces to fill for 60 days. I had learned from the older child not to give rewards to quickly. This worked, at the end of 60 days, we sent to Toys R Us for the Buzz Lightyear. He is nearly 15, and still remembers the reward of his Buzz Lightyear. I decided that it wasn't that he didn't know when he was going to have a BM, it just took more time than he wanted to spend on the toilet. When they use their undies, or pull-up, they can continue with their activity.

Good luck, and be patient with her. Believe me they grow up way to fast. My oldest is now in college.

A little about me:

Happily married 23 years; SAHM; part time home business; 3 children- 2boys &1girl.

My now 9 year old daughter was the hardest to train to poop in the potty! I remember that I was so desperate, I had used every kind of bribery I could think of. I even had her clean her own underwear too! Nothing worked! I finally found one that worked for her...she LOVED horses so we told her if she pooped in the potty we would go ride a horse at Rawhide. It finally worked and we had to go racing there before it closed one night because we promised :) It took a couple trips to the horses and that was it! I think she was just really scared to do it and we had to find a very inticing bribe to get her through her fear. She still loves horses and rides them 3 days a week now :) Hopefully you can find an easier trick, but my suggestion would be find something that is her FAVORITE big thing and see if it works?

My daughter was the same way. I finally figured out she didn't like all the hoopla and pressure. Once I threw my hands up and acted like I didn't care if she ever pooped on the potty the little stinker did it from that day on! And I threw away almost every poopy undie--what are they a dollar a piece? It's worth it to me not to be scrubbing those nasties in the sink!

I would suggest having your daughter clean her own panties I had my son clean out his own underwear when he was 3 and after the first time he had to do he never pooped in them again.

OK, I stole this from Dr. Phil...

Tell her her favorite cartoon character is going to call on the phone, the first time she poops in the potty. Have a friend call and immitate the voice of spongbob (or whoever).

I've heard it works like a charm.

Good Luck Sweetie, J.

L.,

I have read the responses given so far and think that they all offer some good advice. However, I would urge you to talk to your pediatrician if rewards aren't working. I had the same problem with my son, who is now 3 1/2, and I went to my pediatrician in frustration, not knowing what to do. I found out that he was actually going through a fairly common cycle of constipation. He explained that some kids, after being afraid of sitting on the toilet or being constipated, hold their bowel movements because they are uncomfortable. When they are sneaking off and pooping in their pants, they aren't trying to go without you seeing, they are actually trying to hold it in, but can't. This constipation cycle just keeps going, making it increasingly difficult for them. He had us put him on a low dose of Miralax, every day for several months, which softened up his bowel movements and helped re-train his body to go on a normal cycle on the toilet. We put him on the potty for 7 minutes every day in the late morning to get him used to using the potty. After a few days of really loose stools, practicing sitting on the potty and lots of praise and encouragement, he started to become more regular and use the toilet. We continued with the Miralax for almost 2 months to break the constipation cycle. I had no idea that he was constipated and was so glad that I talked to my pediatrician. He offered lots of good advice and it really helped us out. Now my son is, for the most part, accident free and I'm a not frustrated any more. Good luck! Isn't it nice to know that others out there are going through the same things?