Please Help - Conroe,TX

This is a hard time for both boys and girls. So many changes in the body are taking place. Go to the school and talk with the teachers and the school councilor see if they can tell you what is going on and go from there. The home schooling might work, but as a parent I feel that the children need other kids to learn about the world and daily happenings around them. Get him involved with school activities, scouts etc. Swimming is a very good outlet, it can make him get those six-pack looks that girls like so much. My son when through some of this and it worked for him. Boy did it make a difference in him. And was it a shock to me when I saw him in a speedo for the first time. hahaha

Texas is perhaps the EASIEST state to homeschool in, in the US.

Compulsory attendance - Between 6 and 17 years of age.
- Legislature given authority over public free school system only (aka they have no authority over HS'ers)
- Texas Education Code specifically designed for and applicable o state tax funded educational institutions only (ditto, the code does not apply to HS'ers)
- No minimum number of days taught per year.
- No testing requirements.
- No formal filing required, though *recommended* you tell the school's office you are withdrawing your child.

AKA... nothing, nada, zilch in the form of hoops to jump through. You can do whatever you want to do as you want to do it, and NO ONE can legally tell you otherwise. You are as within your rights to homeschool as you are to cook dinner. (ESPECIALLY for parents teaching gifted kids, state hoops become a REAL pain.). No academic plans to file, no portfolios to review, no state mandated testing, no requirement to file ANYTHING... absolutely NO bureaucratic red tape to wade through. Ah. Heaven.

I know a LOT of people who HS in Texas, and believe me they GLOAT. :) :) :)

Here's my short list of HS'ing links and website for you to check out for community/support & general info:

Support
http://groups.yahoo.com/ (search homeschool, get thousands of groups... search homeschool + __________ and narrow it down... most groups are moderated, so it takes a day or two to get approved on many of them so you can actually SEE the messages. You DO need a yahoo ID, easy and free :)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/secular_homeschoolers/ (if you're secular)
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blTX.htm
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
http://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/support/texas.php

General
http://www.homeschooldiner.com/
http://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/

Must Check Out (and not as well known as amazing sites like NASA & that every major museum these days has virtual tours:)
http://www.ted.com/
http://www.discoveryeducation.com/
http://education.nationalgeographic.com/education/

I have taught middle school for 14 years and I have to say it can be very difficult-in my opinion the students are just downright mean to each other. My recommendation is that you find out from each class why he is failing and address that issue. Besides being smaller than his peers he is smart and that combination can earn him a lot of bullying. Ask your nephew what is going on-is he being bullied, is he trying to fit in, have him be as specific as possible Once you find out why he is failing ( not turning in work, low grades, etc) go to the principal and let him/her know you are concerned about the grades, the behavior and any other issues you find. At this age kiddos are so concerned with "fitting in" that it can really impact their self esteem. It is important that you communicate to him all of his good points, how unique and special he is and that he does not need to let anyone else determine his self worth and value. He needs to have friends at school-encourage this in any way you can, because even one or two boys with similar interests (learning, being smart) can form their own group to belong to. I will also say that the kiddos who have a group they belong to and identify with are less likely to have behavior problems at they get into high school. Having said all of that, there is the possibility of home school, but be prepared! He may be a sponge who soaks up all you can provide and keeps you on your toes! He will still need socialization so you'll have to find forms of peer interaction. As far as CPS, they should not even be a consideration. There are some good CPS offices and there are some terrible CPS ofices. I would say that you need to make sure you have legal guardianship of your nephew, as they may want to know why he is living with you. My heart goes out to this kid-he is probably so miserable. I don't know about your religious beliefs, but talk with him about how precious he is, how God made him so special with a special plan, and last of all see if he has any concerns about why he is living with you instead of biological parents. He may feel unwanted-just because of a comment someone made. Talk with him and listen-he'll tell you what's going on. I hope things turn out ok!

Ugh, I hate hearing this..

Go to the school and speak with the Principal. Have you done that yet? There is ZERO tolerance for this behavior. Ask them what are they going to do about this. Conroe is known for their excellent schools, it would be a shame to pull him out when this is not his fault.

The other thing is that you are correct that bigger (physically ) boys at this age do tend to pick on the smaller guys especially in gym.. In our school district students can get credit for PE with outside sports.. Look into it and see if your nephew can do this. We had a friend whose son was very self conscious of his body. He was the same age as the other guys, but just developed much later.. He took swimming.. Our daughter took rowing from 6th grade all the way through High school. She was able to take more classes at school since she did not have to worry about PE...

If your nephew is being "bullied"... then you must tell the Principal/Teacher etc. MOST schools, have a Zero-Tolerance policy about bullying. This includes students as well as adult/teacher/faculty perpetrators.

YOu also need to DOCUMENT what he tells you, and keep track of anything/everything.
Many teens.... can even commit suicide because of bullying and abusive/mean treatment committed upon them.
It is also causing him to become physically ill (which you must document) and psychologically afraid and affected. These are serious things.
But you know that, thus home-schooling research.

You must take your nephew's complaints/concerns seriously.
Desperate teens, can do desperate things.

All the best,
Susan

Hi E.,
You should be commended for being such a caring aunt and I can tell your heart is hurting for this smart young man, your nephew. If I were you I would be proactive in scheduling an emergency face to face meeting with his teacher or teachers and/or counselor and make them aware, see if they are aware and find out a resolution. I have a feeling the bullies are ignorant and your nephew has something they do not, whether it be intelligence or a loving home or both. I do not know why you are raising him but, perhaps that is why he is more sensitive. Is another school an option, maybe have him tested for a gifted program and see if their is a magnet school in your area. I do not know too much about homeschooling, but you are a taxpayer and parent/guardian and you should be heard and helped.

As a former homeschool mom in Texas, my children excelled in academics. Both my children are gifted. My kids graduated homeschool and on their SAT and college entrance exams they passed at or above college level in everything. Message me if you want more info. Another alternative that you have in Texas is the community colleges offer classes that count as a high school credit as well as a college credit. My only regret with homeschooling is not starting in Kindergarten! As far as CPS and the police all you have to do is show them the lesson plan from the curriculum you choose and that's that. I know many homeschool families and have never heard of the official visit actually happening. If you decide to homeschool just choose a curriculum and withdraw your nephew from school.

First of all, it is not illegal to homeschool. You will need to unenroll him so they don't have him on the roll records. If he just doesn't show up that is truancy. It is your constitutional right to homeschool. You can also file an private school affidavit each year and you don't have to comply with state standards.

My twin girls (11) were wonderful students until this year in middle school. They also started failing. They started to hate school and didn't want to go. I pulled them out and we are now homeschooling. I will not be sending any of my children to public school again. They already are doing so much better. And they are a lot happier.

As far as school goes, I can't help I am not a homeschooling mom in Texas although I know many and they are amazingly successful! As a former middle school teacher, I know two things- middle school kids are amazingly mean and kids need somebody they can talk to. If you nephew is living with you I can only imagine that he is already dealing with some issues regarding his own family (even if it was just a move or something and they didn't want him to have to uproot or something like that) He is going to need some help in the form of counseling. He needs an outside trained 3rd party to teach him how to deal with his anxiety and frustration and how to learn how to not internalize what the kids at school are saying or doing. My neighbor started her son (first year of middle school) with a counsellor this year and wow- has it ever made a difference. I have even heard her son talk to my son about how to deal with kids who are being unkind to him and that means a lot more coming from him than from his momma. Get him some help and be sure the school knows that there are some issues that he is facing that are making it difficult for him to go to school each day. There are things they can do even to help. Good Luck!

I'm a teacher and, as long as you have a good idea of the curriculum and are comfortable making sure he gets through I think it might be a great idea to give him a year of homeschooling to give him a chance to grow and get a bit bigger and such before he goes back. As long as he keeps up with his work it should be fine. You might even consider a variance after he's had a year at home and let him star middle school closer to the top of the food chain and with all new kids he has no past history with so he gets a truly fresh start. I can send you to some curriculum websites and such if you'd like. Hang in there

He will need to learn how to deal with negative and/or hurtful people in his life, so I would find out what he would like to do to build up his opinion of himself. Taking karate or other class like that will give him the confidence to stand up for himself. Also, give him ways to answer the pests. For example, if he says people comment on his size, he could just respond with a smile, "Yup, I guess I can make a killing as a jockey." Make sure he agrees with the comment (throws them for a loop) and then adds something positive. It takes away the fun from the bullies. Be sure to ask questions and listen, listen, listen. Bless you for being such a great aunt.

Whatever you decide in regards to homeschooling, i hope it works out.
In the meantime, here's my advice for another mom in regards to her problem with her teenage daughter and "mean girls" at school. Maybe it might be something to consider.

First, though, is resolving this bullying issue with the school...and at the very least, make sure that he's not being bullied anymore.

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/13007618323481952257

take care.

Once you find out the details on if you can homeschool, I say YES!!
I know personally 3 families who have had children bullied, or bad experiences that have chose to homeschool and have WONDERFUL outcomes. One young lady I know was 14 at the time, and knew herself
that if she continued in her high school, that she would end up lost and down the wrong path. She chose online classes and did amazing!!!
Another was bullied, and unflattering pic's sent all over the internet..
her mom too pulled her out and changed the course....
There are Similar stories are everywhere.
You can plan wonderful coops/get togethers and he will not have to feel the pressure and pain from all these fruitcake bulliers that make misery
for our youth. Think of all the kids that are suicidal/or commit suicide..
because of this terrible pressure and harassment. It's on the news every day!!!
It is no different than you and I being bullied EVERY single day for 6 years!!
We would lose our minds too.
This is an important/life changing issue..and you have responded in
the right way :) You are saving his life, and self esteem.
Bullying can Destroy people. You are wise!! Follow your plan :) I would
do the same thing!

Do not let people tell you that what he faces in school is the same thing
he will face in the real world.I challenge those of you who say this to
go to work every day, and have 1/2 of your coworkers tell them your
makeup sucks, your Fat, worthless, and an idiot...Is it building you up? Making you stronger to face the day? NO! This is a lie.
What if someone continued to follow you around on this forum with each
post and degraded you in front of each member here? That is what this young man is going through.
When he is older He will have
better emotional tools for the occassional harraser.

You are on the right path!! Get him out into a loving environment..
find activities he loves. Give him fresh air to breathe!!

I personnally do not homeschool, ONLY becuase I work outside the home full time. BUT if I could, Homeschooling would definetly be my choice. I have tons of friends that homeschool and they are loving it. Good luck, and God Bless.

Speaking from a person who WAS homeschooled I think that is a big mistake. Especially since he is advanced. Homeschool curriculum will not be challenging enough. The higher in grade the child gets the less hands on the parent can be. Leaving your middle schooler or high schooler to teach themself. I regret I didn't go to public school. I would have been pushed to continue my education and not feel so uneducated now. I'm sorry he is going through this, my brother went through the exact same thing. My dad pulled him out first day of middle school and homeschooled him too. I gotta say.....he is one of the most caring loving persons but because he didn't have to fend off bullies and mean people he is always getting his heart broken and is kind of a sissy even now at 25. But he is successful.....more than I. Whatever decision you make though.....I am sure you will make it the right one.

First of all, you sound like a true hero to this child - God bless you.

Secondly, as I understand it, Texas is an extremely homeschool-friendly state. Here is Homeschool Legal Defense's Texas page: http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/TX/default.asp . I love HSLDA's site and find it very helpful.

If he is a gifted child you can probably serve him better by homeschooling him. He can also become involved in lots of homeschool groups, where, in my experience the children are much nicer and actually socialized to be human beings (fancy that!).

There are lots of online curriculums that you can use at his age which means you don't have to do all the work yourself.

A child should never have to tolerate harrassment at school, and unfortunately times have gotten brutal in that area. Think about it - an adult would never put up with that sort of hostile working environment. Why do we expect children (with less life experience) to know how to do it? And somehow be happy about it?

IMHO the testosterone in growing males also makes them physically vulnerable to the effects of excessive stress. At some point their poor bodies just give out and sometimes they turn to self-medication (drugs, alcohol, etc.). Then we parents wonder why.

Good luck, and again - God bless you.

If you are willing to homeschool, you will give your nephew one of the greatest possible gifts. As Riley J said, Texas is an extremely homeschool-friendly state. I would go to thsc.org (the website of the Texas Homeschooling Coalition) and get specific details about the letter you need to send to the district with your plans (it might be good to join THSC, or HSLDA, the national homeschool lobbying association, to help you learn the basics). That is all that is required. It might not be a bad idea to let the administration know about the problems your nephew is having.

There are thousands upon thousands of homeschoolers in Texas. You are likely to run into some at the park or the library or even the grocery store on any given school day, and you can strike up a conversation to start getting some information about local groups. One of the larger Yahoo groups in Houston is called G-HAH (Greater Houston Area Homeschoolers). If you search for that on Yahoo and write a little introduction, lots of people are likely to respond. Best wishes to you! Go for it!

E.,

I'm so sorry for your nephew. In this day and age you do need to take this seriously. I don't know a lot about homeschooling but I do know it is very expensive. Have you looked into placing him in private school?

If you enroll your nephew in Homeschooling they may send out 1 officer to check on you. It won't be a whole production like people are telling you. Plus there are so many kids that are home schooled, they don't have time to send someone out all the time. If you enroll your child in home schooling then the State will know and you shouldn't have any problems. I plan on home schooling. I think it's great if you do, but you don't want to do it for the wrong reasons. If he is in advanced classes now, then maybe he should just go down to regular classes. They have a better chance there anyway. My sister is in all advanced classes plus has even taken college courses this year. She made one B in a satellite class that was a college course and she got beat out by another girl in her class for valedictorian that never even took an advanced class. Crazy, but maybe the situation can be solved at school.

In saying that, I feel any child that is home schooled will always get a better education. Just my opinion.

Homeschooling is very easy in TX. I do not know about the notifications you have to give the district, but they only send the truant officer to kids that are actually enrolled and don't show up. Unless you are going to pull him out before the end of the year, you do not have to tell the school anything, to my knowledge. Just do not enroll him for next year.

There are lots of homeschool co-ops around so there should be plenty of opportunities for him to make good friends. Usually they are associated with churches or community centers.

In the mean time, you need to notify the school that something is going on. Do not let up. Keep on them until they so something about it. Most schools have a published zero tolerance policy on bullying. Call them on it. Notify all of his teachers to keep an eye out for anything.

Good Luck.