I have a question concerning how many different moms i should be setting play dates for our boy(s) to play with. A little background: 2 boys an almost first grader age 6 and a pre schooler age 4. On our block, there are no children other than infants and toddlers. When i was growing up, i never had play dates we always had kids in the neighborhood. But i have been worried that aside from participating with kids in his class at sports, my older child still has no kids to actually play with in the neighborhood. I started a few months ago inviting the same age boys' moms who live on our street (but too far for a 6 y/o to walk) so it still has to be a playdate at this age. But since these moms are busy, and their children altready have other friends, we have not yet had a play date with either of them. I decided not to be a pest and move on and ask several other mom's, casting a wide net so to speak. Now i am doing play dates with 5-6 moms.Obviously me and my children click more with some families than others. Is this a good way for him to learn social skills being a social butterfly or is this a bad way because he may not develop a close bond or best friend?
The more kids he's exposed to the better. That way he will get to pick and choose who he "clicks" with best, and so will you.
One tip: if and when you do start to have neighbor kids over... then it is harder to have privacy or stopping, the playdates. Because, they are neighbors. And then it can become socially complicated. What if you don't like the Mom etc., or the kid is noxious? Or they are mean to your kids etc. or the neighbor kids will just come over to your home, unannounced, and knock and knock on the door etc. How do you stop that? Or if you simply don't like them? Or if the other kids parents just send over their kids to your home, for a "free" babysitting?
These things, DO happen. So tread, wisely.
Have playdates, with your kids classmates. Or preschool friends.
Kids that, they like. And that you feel comfortable with and their Moms.
And that your "radar" feels satisfied with.
Or, enroll your kids in kid programs.
Learning social behavior, does not only occur with play dates.
It occurs, anywhere, and especially, at school.
A kid, does NOT have to be a "social butterfly."
Go according to your child's personality and cues. Not yours.
Every child is different.
At this age, they do not always, have a Best Friend Forever. BFF. And they COMMONLY, will have many friends or none on some days, and it really varies day by day.
Social skills, are taught... by you.
From when my kids were 2 years old... I began teaching my kids about social situations and friends and how to discern... people. And how to choose, friends.
So that once they started elementary school, they knew things, already.
But mostly, I taught them to be themselves, not a copy-cat. To know who they are, and not just be a follower. So that, in school, they don't just do what others are doing, even if it is naughty. They learned to think on their own, and discern situations/people. Per their age.
Being social or having social skills... does not mean having friends or many friends. It means, being able to read others, how to choose friends, knowing manners, knowing what is right or wrong/appropriate or inappropriate, how to speak up, etc.
A 4 year old, does not have BFF's yet. And they are not like a 6 year old. But in school, they learn a lot about socializing.
Playdates and who you invite, also depends on who your kids are friends with, and who you like or trust, as a Mom... with their Moms.
Hi. When my boys were four and in pre-school they would ask if they could play with a friend from school. Usually the first time they played with that child I would make a play date with the other mom to meet at a playground, McDonalds or the Y. After the other mom and I had met, then we would start drop-off play dates. We would invite the child over to our house, and usually our child would be invited to their house the next time. By the time they were six they were only doing drop-off play dates. Both my boys have lots of friends, but they usually seem to hang out with one friend at a time. After several weeks of back and forth with one friend they move on to the next friend for the next several weeks. If I ask my 7 year old who his best friend is he will name off 6 kids. Anyway, I leave it up to my kids to choose who they are going to play with.
Just ask them who they like to play with!
My son will be starting First grade and I have a 3 year old girl. My son is pretty easy going, but he defiantly has preferences (he will said I really want to go to D's house or M is too rough and i don't want to play with him). I usually see most parents at the school for drop off or pick up (so i try to set up a day/time). There are a few bus kids (rarely see the parents). He has 2 'best' friends and several other kids he likes. I also like to coordinate with the mom I want to talk to during the activity.
My son met a child that was not in his class (during recess) and became best friends all on his own without me knowing the parents. We still have playdates with other people.
I would see who from school they ask u to play with or have over. Soon the older ones will be drop off play dates. 5-6 sounds fine, a lot actually. So u mean 1-2 a week or more?
there is local moms groups to build friendships have organized playgroups and field trips and just fun people to spend the days with outside school and summer........they may not be too old for that.
If your looking for new people to spend time with.
Find out who their best friends in school are and get their numbers. I wouldn't cast a wide net.
