Play Date Question

Hi there.
I do not have the same problem, whereas we never even get to have anyone over.
Like one of the other moms said; we give out our phone number-but never get anyone elses, and then noone calls.
My son had ONE playdate in Kindergarten, and none in 1st grade. (he is currently in 1st grade) He has a lot of friends at school, but never see anyone after school unless we stay after school and play with whoever is still on the playground.
I'd have to say that what you are explaining seems weird to me, as a parent I'd love to return the favor - why not?
Makes you wonder-are they really that busy? Do they work full time?
If you are driving other peoples kids - I'd ask if they could pick up your son/daughter one day and take him/her home until you come pick them up. (if you are comfortable with someone else driving your child) Kind of like instigating a playdate.
It should be equal if you are doing pick ups and stay afters.
If they don't, I'd say you are being used, and that is not fair.
Even if they work, they should at the very least offer to make a playdate on the weekend, even if just for a few hours. As the kids get older, they'll figure out how to contact each other, and if they live close to each other, even walk home to each other.
In the meantime, why not ask the parent when they come to pick up if it would be allright if your son/daughter came home with them the following....whatever day. At that moment they should at least feel guilty enough to agree!!!!!
Good Luck!

Sounds to me like you are being taken advantage of by the other parents. Big time!! I never really understood the whole "play date" thing; when I was a kid, we just went outside to play, and either knocked on a neighbor's door to see if some kid could come out and play, or waited for someone to poke their head outside and come play with us. I'm not sure that making a play date is the best thing to do, and that is only my opinion of course. Kids these days don't play outside enough, it seems. My kids fell into that category, as well, because we didn't live in an area that was "kid friendly" and I was afraid to let them out without me. Sometimes taking your kids to the park or Chuck E. Cheese's, etc... is a good opportunity to meet other parents who like to get out and do things with their kids, and therefore might be more likely to accommodate you. On the other hand, is it a possibility that the other parents don't like your son, had a bad experience with him, or for some reason don't want him in their house? Has he been rude and disrespectful at all, and maybe the other parents aren't as willing as you to grin and bear it? I know no one wants to think of their child as ungrateful, or a brat, but since we have kids like that in this world, we know they must be SOMEBODY'S child. LOL Is it also possible that they have too much going on at home to take on another child (ie - your son)? I'm just throwing suggestions out there. I'm also wondering if people just don't do play dates anymore, and while they appreciate you doing it, they just don't host them. Is that a possibility?

Hello N.!

Yes this is happening to every great loving mother that is always willing to have children over, So our children have someone to play with.And I have seen so many mothers just leaving their children in someone else's home and when is time to pick them up they don't even say can I help you clean up?
This is what I do i have a 4 1/2 boy and when other moms ask me if their children can come a play in our home I always say: I don't feel comfortable having play dates if the mother's of the children are not present... But I think you just need new friend! Next time someone ask you to take care of their children Just say NO There is a lot of power in saying NO. Good luck.

I know this is late, but I don't have much time to check the newsgroup regularly. I have only recently started the play date thing for my 3 1/2 yr old daughter because she asked to have friends over. Maybe because my daughter is young, but I would not consider leaving her at a play mate's house unless the host specify it is OK for me to leave her there. I view a play date as a way to get to know the parents as well.
I suppose you could also arrange a play date at the park or the beach so it doesn't involve cleaning up.
I, too, live on the peninsula and we often go to either Hesse Park or Ryan Park as these are closest to our home. Actually, that is how my daughter has met one of her friends. Perhaps, we will meet at the park. ;-)

Hi N.!!
I know exactly how you feel. Some (majority) of parents are CRAZY!!! We have not had one playdate offer this year....I've hosted a few. The parents in my son's class are all too busy. We have also gotten the,"What do you do in the afternoon?" question. I ran for the hills :) We are very lucky to have GREAT neighbors (3 kids) they come over or he goes over at least twice a week & play outside almost every day, we go to the park and my son plays T-Ball. I haven't given up on the whole playdate thing but I only do it for my son, only like twice a month and only to see him smile and have fun. Thank God his best buddy is a real Sweetie. I don't do Rude Kids....ever! Rude Kid = CRAZY Parent
You seem like a really Good Mom and you care about you kids happiness...Good Luck, screen your calls or RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
-M.

I have to say that I prefer to have playdates at my house. It allows me to be in control and get to know the kids who my son plays with. In fact, all the kids at my son's school asks when it will be their turn to come play at our house. My son loves to share his things and talks up his home so much that it's definitely the place to be. That makes me proud. And, it sets the stage now for the teenage years when I want to have closer tabs on my kids and their friends.

With that said, I've also learned that other families do not have the ability to host playdates for a variety of reasons. Many times, they just aren't comfortable supervising children. Society is very different than it was when we were growing up. The ability to "just go outside and knock on a neighbors door and play" is not as common anymore. Some neighborhoods are lucky to have that, but I'm finding that in many places this just isn't the case. We have to adjust and playdates are the answer. And, I'm not going to judge someone else who may not be willing to host a playdate. I'm just going to do my best to foster good, friendly relationships that will be valuable to my child's development.

I know exactly how you feel. I have an 7.5 yr old boy who is an only child. He is very well liked at school always gets invited to parties etc. but he never has play dates. He wants to go over to friends houses but parents never provide their phone #'s & when they do they are always busy. When we go to school functions you hear all the other parents talking to each other about the outings they have had with the other classmates. We live in Torrance & would love to know what to do about getting my son together with another child. My thought is maybe some parents are intimidated because I am in a wheelchair, but I am still a mom who works full time for the County Of Los Angeles Child Support who loves her child endlessly.
A.-Torrance