Planning for a 3Rd Child

If you are breastfeeding, leaving baby behind is not really an option. How disruptive would it be to take him/her with you? If the baby is under 6 months, he or she won't be crawling yet, and will be very portable. Baby can nap in the backpack or sling while you do things with the older ones. It does mean dealing with diapers, but it also means that you can feed the baby any time or place, and baby can sleep with you, so no extra bed is required. My daughter was born overseas, and we traveled a great deal with her in her infancy. It was actually much easier taking her with us before she was a year old.

cant you just wait til the baby is a yr old and then do the trip? or cant your husband go on the trip and you stay with child? whatever you decide will be the best!!!! good luck!!!!

My husband and I went on a trip to Mexico when our daughter was 13 months. We don't have any family that live in the same state. We hired her favorite daycare caregiver to stay with her at our home, take her to school, take her home, etc. She had no issues, no separation fits, no weird anger when we got back, etc. I think the key is that you have to choose someone that the baby knows and recognizes as a caregiver in order for it to work well. So, if your chosen babysitters are your parents, then the baby has to be extremely familiar with them and have trust in their ability to care for it when you're not there. Otherwise, the baby will perceive it as being left with a stranger.

Its a bit hard to plan when you haven't even had the baby yet, so perhaps this is something to worry about latter on. I can't say about leaving a baby under a year, but my daughter a 18 months went to stay with Grandma for a week while my hubby and I took a well deserved grown up trip. My mom lived in another state so she only got to visit every once in awhile, but we always looked at pictures of family at bedtime and I told her stories about these people ( all of my family lives in a different state) My mom drove down to get her, and she left smiling and had no problems. I think it will depend on your kiddo's personality too. Some kids adjust well and know no strangers, some are paranoid from the get go. Good luck.

I like Jodi's option. I have had to leave a BF baby under 1 for work reasons for about 3-4 nights in a row a couple of times, and it was really hard. If you can bring your mom along so that you can focus on your older kids (if your mom is okay with that), and the baby can have a bottle if needed, but not for an extended time, that would be ideal.

Hi--
I would never leave an infant either, so I can relate. The question is, why couldn't you take an infant with you and possibly bring your mother or Nanny along? You could always have the nanny take the baby back to the hotel for his/her nap while you stayed with the older children. Third babies are typically very easy going because they have no choice. If you chose to leave the baby home, I wouldn't do it during the ages that separation anxiety rears it's head--so go before 8 months or after about 20 months. Also, I was a nanny in college and they left their 2 year old and 5 year old for 3 weeks--it was super tough on the 2 year old and caused lots of insecure attachment issues--just something to consider. But my vote, take the baby with!
J.

I think it depends a lot on how involved your parents would be during your baby's infancy. My own parents live far away and I'd be worried about leaving an infant with them for a week when they're not used to each other. On the other hand, I would feel fairly comfortable leaving my 7-month-old with her nanny for a week if there was a pressing reason to do so. (Although it would be annoying to have to pump all week.)

A friend of mine who lives close to her in-laws has them babysitting her children once a week during the day, and even when they were under a year they would often spend the night. I would imagine she would be fine leaving the baby with the grandparents for a week. (And actually I think she did so in order to have a reconnection vacation with her husband.)

We was in the same boat with our third and ultimately I just brought her along. I just felt it was too long to be away from an infant, especially a nursing one. I do have a girlfriend though that went to Italy for 10 days when her son was 9 months old and they all did just fine.

I think if you were to go, I would do it before 2 so the baby doesn't remember. Just keep in mind that if you are nursing the chances of the baby accepting you over the bottle again is pretty small. Not that it cannot be done, it is just hard to get them to convert back.

Good luck!

it's nice to read a post of someone not interested in leaving an infant for a week. i feel the same as you. my boys were weaned at 14 and 15 months. i did leave them with grandparents overnight a few times after they were weaned, but i wasn't comfortable with longer periods of time until they were two. my daughter has been much more afraid of people, even relatives. she is 23 months and i could probably wean her by her 2nd birthday but she would not handle spending the night at grandma's well yet, even with her brothers there. she is very attached to me and still afraid of men other than her dad. i hope that helps. good luck!

Bring one of your parents with you on the trip - they can watch the baby while you do 'big kid' activities.

OOPS....just read that others had same suggestion. I agree!

My husband's last job gave us several travel opportunities. We went away for a week or two with kids between 18 and months and 2 years, plus older siblings, and the only thing we found is that it's easier if you are leaving more than one child behind, so maybe letting them stay with cousins might help. The kids always did better than I did. I never had the advantage of taking the older kids. I think that would make it easier. I think the older kids would really think that was special. You'd have to think about how the baby would feel when he gets old enough to feel left out, so maybe do something later just as big with everyone. Anyway you decide, have fun!

Is there any possibility of bringing a caregiver (your mom, a younger cousin, a trusted sitter) with you on your trip? That way you could still bring the baby/toddler but be free to enjoy your older kids.
If you've definitely chosen to leave the baby behind, my personal opinion is that if you can bond a baby to the grandparents early on, it would be easier to leave them when they are younger, like between 3 and 6 months. When I say easier, I'm thinking for the child, not necessarily for you. Of course that would mean bottle training for the event. Best of luck with whatever you decide.