Picky Eater, Need HELP!

I have some wonderful children's cookbooks with recipes that really appeal to children and that they can help prepare, which may lead to him to trying the food. Family Fun has great cookbook, Rachel Ray- cooking rocks,and First Meals by Annabel Karmel are 3 that have some great recipes. You can probably get them (or others) at the library. Having him participate in preparing the meals is fun, educational and just may get him to try some new things. I have 2 children who aren't picky, but in my preschool I have had children who are and I used a one bite rule for new foods- they had to taste one bite, and if they didn't like it, no problem. Most of the time, they actually liked what they tried and would eat it. Hope this helps :)

Crystal,
Keep up the good work - it is going to take a while to help him understand that the things he likes are not exactly the best for him.

Stop buying the hot dogs, salami. Eggos.

Make a tray of healthy veggies & <yes> ranch dip, and put it in the fridge. Snack on it yourself. Refer to it if he gets hungry between meals. Make a healthy cucumber yogurt dip, or anything else you like. The veggie is the vehicle for the yummy dip.

The only other place I can think *might* help is Naomi Aldort. Attachment Parenting (International) There are others I just can't think of the names at 0500.

What you teach your 5 year old, will carry over to your 2.5 year old. That will be worth all the hard work.

In fact, you can make it sort of a project for him: You want to make sure your younger one eats healthy, so the older one can help the younger choose healthy and show her that good food is fun to eat.

Last second idea: make fun shapes from the foods you want him to eat. Cookie cutters, puzzles, assembly, whatever.

A rocket ship with celery body, cheerio portholes, bread nose (triangle on top), and dip exhaust (well, the exhaust from the space shuttle is white...)

Good luck,
M.

Hi Crystal,

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Please know that you are not alone! I am dealing with similar issues with my soon-to-be 4 year-old, and have tried the same tactics. To make matters even more complicated, my son will eat certain foods at daycare, but not at home, and vice-versa!

It seems that you have received a variety of responses. I just want to add another approach that falls along the lines of "he'll eat it when he's hungry enough". Make a plate for him of what you're having for your meal. If he says "no, thank you", cover it, and put it in the refrigerator. Let him read a book, play, or sit quietly at the table with you while you eat - your choice. When he says he's hungry, offer him that plate in the fridge. Keep repeating as necessary.

If he has to eat alone for a while, maybe he'll also realize that he's missing out on the togetherness of family mealtime. I know he's only 4 1/2, but he is old enough to understand what it feels like to be left out (by his own choice, of course!). Hopefully, it won't take long before he starts at least attempting the foods on his plate with the family, and not at the table alone!

We're working on this with our son, and it's already improving. It does take time and patience. Just remember, they're not 4 1/2 forever!!

Best of luck to you, in whatever you decide to do. Looking forward to hearing the results!

It sounds like you're doing everything you can do to get him to try the other foods. I think that it's just a phase and he'll eventually branch out, but I understand your frustration. There are days I wonder how my toddler doesn't starve to death...he eats 2 bites of everything and that's it! One thing my Mom always tells me though is not to get so frustrated over feeding him. The important thing is that they are healthy, even if we don't think so juding by their diets, and that they will not let themselves die of malnourishment or starvation. All you can do is keep offering it and call it a day if he refuses. I don't think you've been cruel at all by the way, you just want your child to eat a healthy meal and try new foods. Nothing wrong with that! Just go easy on yourself and him....if he sees you getting stressed about it, it may add to his desire to refuse new foods.
Good luck! You're doing a wonderful job! :)
Lynsey

Hi,
I understand I 3.5 year girl that is a picky eater.
At all costs do organic while you are making the transition to healthier options. The Sneaky Chef is a great cookbook you'll find online or at whole foods. You will find that you can add healthier things to the foods your son is eating without him knowing it. It has worked really well for my daughter. A great snack that my girls love is Pirates Booty Veggie. Its a great start for healthier options.
This will help.
Your in Health
Dr. V. LaRocco
thegreaterwellbeing.com

After a great deal of thought, there are a few things I wanted to say to you. HANG IN THERE. He is a good weight for his age. I would take him to the doctor's to have him checked out. Perhaps the new eating habits have some kind of medical link. If the doctor clears him of any medical explanation you can move forward with many of the suggestions provided by your internet comrads at Mamasource.

In my opinion a balanced diet should always be provided. Healthly eating promotes the proper development of your child's mind and body. Please try the hot dogs without the nitrates if any at all.

Give tough love a try. Offer him the meal, he doesn't have to eat it but should be insisted to try. Give him 5 minutes to try it, since he is 5, then take the plate away and let him go play or do what is next on the schedule. When it is time to eat again pull out the same food for him to eat or some different things to eat, the choice is yours but he has to eat some of everything.

Keep trying don't give up or give in. I was a picky eater too but my mom (a single mom) just wouldn't let me have my way. I tell you there is nothing like having mashed potatoes, gravy and peas for breakfast while everone else is having delicious french toast (my favorite).

While it may just be a phase he is going through, he is taking you along for the ride. I just say change who sits in the driver's seat and insist he eat at least a variety of foods more often than not. My mom would let me order the same thing from McDonald's for years (a cheese burger and a small fry) even the years when it really wasn't enough food for me but I just wanted what I wanted yet when it came to her kitchen, I was not to confuse that with a restaurant.

HANG IN THERE.

I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe your stress and focus on it is making him more reluctant and defiant. Just keep giving him the foods he'll eat, keep exposing him to others and don't make a big deal about it or he will battle you. What kind of hot dogs do you buy? We buy the uncured, no preservative, no filler, natural ones. We were buying them in shop rite but they must not have been a big seller in the hot dog world b/c the last few times they were expired on the shelf and now they aren't there anymore BUT Stop and Shop had them so I'm going to give that a try. Not sure if you have other stores around like Whole Foods or Wegmans, they seem to be better for natural foods...in my town anyway. Give him a multi vitamin. Have you tried other kid foods...mac and cheese (use whole wheat pasta and low fat cheese) Hot dog and beans - vegetarian baked beans. Chicken tenders - you make them to control the fat and preservatives. Sweet potato french fries, regular french fries - baked in the oven? Maybe you aren't offering him enough kid friendly foods...I was anti kid friendly foods too b/c my son ate everything as a baby, but then I realized that he changed. He still eats a good amount of things I think but theres TONS he won't even try and overnight he had an aversion to veggies. He'll eat peas and corn. So thats what he gets. He loves blueberries so he gets a ton of them. I know your son isn't even eating that much but I'm thinking if you change your approach and attitude and lighten up about it he'll come around. You have to find a balance. My goal now is to find the kid friendly foods and provide healthier versions. Oh veggie burgers with light cheese...he loves those too but won't touch a regular cheeseburger. Just keep trying, maybe ask him WHY he is doing what he is doing. And hey if all he eats is hot dogs right now - then do all you can to find those natural, uncured (no nitrates), no preservative ones...you'll feel better about giving them at least. A friend of mine suggested them to me. I have to really find them again!

Hi Crystal!

My 4-year-old is just as picky as yours. It's extremely frustrating. But I have noticed that when he goes to other kids' houses, he is more adventuresome. I guess seeing his friends eat different things carries more weight than seeing his family eat different things (though he tells me that he only likes the carrots at Johnny's house, even tough I buy the same carrots as Johnny's mom). So maybe you can arrange some lunch dates for him at friend's houses.

Good luck!

- A.

No matter what do not feed him a hotdog everyday hot dogs are ok once in a while but i heard on the news that if you have a hotdog once or twice a week for many years it can cause cancer. If hes hungry he will eat don't show that your catering to him just eat together as a family and whatever is served is served if he doesn't want it then he doesn't get desert after a few night of everyone eating together and he being hungry he will eventually catch on is there something else hes filling up on like milk? A lot of children fill up on milk which is like a meal in itself and then when dinner comes they're not hungry so they can afford to be picky.
Good luck above all relax he will eat when hes hungry
From H.

Hi Crystal,

What you are describing is so common, and has so many causes. My son so clearly could taste things he had not tasted at a younger age and so rejected many things he had previously liked. Once they see you are upset, you get the power struggle added on top. My feeling is your best bet is to introduce nitrate free hot dogs and salami, and whole wheat waffles. You could start by making home made waffles, white flour if that is what he is used to and gradually transition to whole wheat. If he likes maple syrup, be sure it's the real thing, not the high fructose corn syrup. If you make your own batter, you can add an extra egg, some milk powder, pureed cauliflauer and or sweet potato (steam and then mash/blend). Gradual changes that make his favorites safer (nitrates really are a health hazard!) and more nutritious. I don't know what I would do it my son didn't eat pancakes! I know they say kids won't starve themselves, but I don't think it is that simple. Taste, texture, power struggles, the full awareness they have by age 5 that junk food exists and is much better that healthy food, etc. My son is 4 and rarely knows when he is hungry. It's tricky, but there are changes you can make that may not be offensive to your son, but improve the diet without a battle.

I hear even the pickiest eaters can grow to be adventurous ones! I would suggest you be take care not to make it a battle ground. This is one the kids will always win!

Good luck!

C.

Hi Crystal, I feel your pain. One of my sons went through this phase. He also wanted nothing but hot dogs for a while. It should pass. Keep trying with healthy choices. You could say you ran out of hot dogs. He will not starve. I can tell you that my son (one of 4 and 1 girl) is now 27, very healthy and his scope of choices has expanded. Years ago my friend's daughter only ate; bacon, sliced peaches and American cheese. The Ped. said give it to her. She also matured into a fine woman. Hang in there, Grandma Mary

Hi Crystal,
I've gone through the same thing this past year with my daughter (she just turned 6 this week). I think they learn the mellowdrama (working themselves into enough of a state where they can gag on the food or throw up) at school. My daughter is currently down to jelly sandwiches for her school lunch, but dinner she is improving again and coming out of her food funk. I tend to make her the veggie she likes and insist that she eat that - we've tried different flavorings for it. She has always liked broccoli, but occasionally gets in a stage where she doesn't want to eat it, on my dad's side of the family, we always ate it with vinegar so I had her try that, then one time she asked to put soy sauce on it, and that's currently how she'll eat it.

Growing up, we had to "eat our age" - 5 peas, 5 green beans, etc. My brother would even squeeze all the liquid out of spinach and make "spinach balls" that he could swallow like pills. At my grandmother's, she insisted on a "no thank you helping", a little dab of whatever it was on your plate, you had to make an honest attempt at tasting it.

I'm not sure eating your age or the no thank you helping will work with your son right now. At the moment, he has won the power struggle and you have to find a way to get him eating more things again. Don't be afraid to retry something he used to eat. My daughter ate pasta or mac and cheese every day for lunch for a long time. Then she went through a phase where she wouldn't touch it, it turns out either her thermos stopped working like it used to and the food was cold and gloppy, or maybe it just kept cooking in its own heat in the thermos and was too mushy. Her first reaction was too avoid the food altogether, but eventually we got her eating them again for dinner - lunch is still out.

Don't worry, one of my brothers ate hot dogs for just about every meal as a kid, but now he may be the best eater of the 3 of us :D

Hi Crystal, unfortunately you might have to starve your little guy for 1 or two days so that he will be hungry enough to eat his veggies. Research shows that this is a tried and true method for getting children to make a shift in their eating habits. In the mean time, make sure that the hot dogs are atleast organic or do not contain nitrates or other preservatives. Also, your health food store will have other brands of waffles that not have preservatives in them. If (for now) his stapple diet is processed foods, you need to make sure that they are preservative free and contain no growth hormones, especially since he does not have the benefits of veggies and fruits to counter balance the poor processed diet. Lastly, buy a juicer and start juicing for him. Carrot and apple juice is delicious and will be a great raw addition of a fruit and veggie to his diet. You can then sneak in some of the green veggies once he adjusts to the taste. You can also introduce fruit smoothies to him with a little honey. It does not matter how he gets his fruits and veggies, as long as he gets them.

Good Luck,

T. Parker, Holistic Health Counselor
My Food Therapy
www.myfoodtherapy.com

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. I have a step son who is a picky eater and too slim for his age (in my opinion). I have a step daughter, who will eat almost any and everything in sight. Go figure.

Anyway, I try to indulge my step-son by giving him whatever it is that he does like and try to slip in some more nutritious food in a sly way. But your son will not even try new foods and if he is having a panic attack at the thought, sight or smell of new foods, that sounds troubling.

Perhaps it's time to take him to the doctor. He cannot live off Eggo waffles, hot dogs and salami forever. I might offer that because of his reactions, his issues may be psychological in nature.

Have you talked to his pediatrician? My eldest has been a determined picky eater since about the same age and talking to her doctor was very comforting. She told me not to worry, it was a phase and she would move on as long as I did not turn food into a power struggle. It worked for us. Ask his doc. what he or she thinks, maybe they can provide a different perspective.
Have you tried organic hot dogs without the nitrates?

Hi There,
You already know what you need to do. You mentioned it already... there is no reason he can't be eating what everyone else is eating (unless there is a medical issue). Just get rid of the hot dogs. You are doing more harm than good by letting him eat that much processed food everyday.... (it is fine once in a while, my kids love hot dogs as a treat!). Also, water down the juice... my kids never get straight juice... it fills them up. Just give him several healthy options for each meal (items that are healthy that he has eaten in the past to start). Serve him casually, if he doesn't want to eat it just say, "OK, maybe you will be hungry in a little while" and try again later. You are the parent... stick to your guns. As long as he is offered a few items at each meal, he will eventually find something he likes- he will not starve. Ie. my daughter wasn't always a great meat eater, so she often would eat lots of rice and veggies for dinner, (or whatever)... she was/is allowed to eat as much/little of whaterve is served for a meal, but can only have a "treat" if she atleast tries a little of everything.
If your son has a fit or gags, just do your best to ignore it. He has learned that you will serve him a hot dog every night, and now you have to break the habit... for his own good....
Good Luck

My second child was a picky eater which was a shock after her sister who ate whatever was there. I never gave in to the picky stuff and she is still alive 17 years later. I know its hard to think your child is hungry, but a truly hungry child will eat. We had regular meal times and regular snack times and while I did let them pick their snacks, meal time choices were take it or leave it. Don't make a game or a big deal out of it, just remove him from the table when he is no longer eating. The next chance he has to eat is the next regular meal/snack time. His body will adjust and he will begin to be hungry at the times his body is used to eating. The only times my girls (to this day) get a choice of meals is in a restaurant/fast food place, which isn't that often. They are in high school and college now and turned out fine. Good luck, I know how hard it is to let a child be hungry (until the next snack/meal time) but it is worth a little angst (on your part) for the end result.

I am having a similar problem with my 3 year old daughter. Mostly, I can't get her to eat meals, she likes to snack all day long - but not always healthy snacks. She seems preoccupied with salty snacks, like pretzels and tortilla chips. I try to buy organic as much possible. If she eats meals, she doesn't eat much. She will ask me to make something, and then refuse to eat it. Sometimes, I have to make a few things for her - very frustrating and wasteful! Once in awhile, she will surprise me! Yesterday, we picked some wild raspberries and she liked them and asked for more (last week, she wouldn't eat the ones from the grocery store - go figure). She is a tiny 3 year old weighing approx. 25 pounds. She has always been small and petite. Pediatrician said she is doing fine, but as I mom, of course you worry! I used to do the snack tray when she was younger, and I might try it again. It does add an element of "fun" to their snack routine.

Ok Crystal~
Breathe and then breathe again. Take a step back. Your son is picking up on how to control you. Isn't that great? Really, it is. He's growing up and trying to set the tone.

You are an amazing mother!

When I work with parents and their children, I remind them that it takes, easily 15 times to try/accept the new item/experience. Have "fun" with food. Your son clearly knows what his body needs, but the more processed foods you place in front of him...hot dogs, salami, eggo waffles, the more his body craves it. It becomes a never ending game of tug of war. (Behavior is also effected).

The OJ and 100% fruit juices are full out sugar. When our bodies get that much sugar..."natural" (more is added in as preservatives) it makes us hungry for salty processed foods...the yin and yang of food.

Try things that come in "God's" packaging. Make him a part of the process. Try raw. Cut up fruit and veggies with honey, nut butters to dip in. Who ever made up the rule that you had to eat breakfast at breakfast and dinner at dinner? Have him help you smash up a banana and spread it on a tortilla wrap, put some peanut butter on it with a little honey drizzle on it. It's a complete meal!

Play with the food...make towers with fruit cut up...have a contest to see who can chew the slowest while humming row row row your boat! If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. Your son will not starve. It may take three days or three hours. Surround him with lots of hugs and kisses when he saids "no" to your food! Respond the exact opposite to the norm.

Have fun with this process and look at it as a positive step in his growth. Don't worry about the milk portion...it's over rated! Green leafy veggies...which I'm sure will take longer to convince him to eat, have about 100 times more calcium than does milk. The diary industry doesn't want you to know that though.

Have fun and good luck...it's a process!

I am sorry you are having to go through this. My daughter is almost 5 and we went (still going) through the same thing since she started eating solid foods.

She is very texture-oriented. If it looks or feels strange or unfamiliar to her she doesn't try. She will cry and gag and not open her mouth to try even a taste. I am of the belief that she will not starve and she will eventually come around to new things but it takes time.

I have one example, the kid has eaten asparagus since she was old enough to chew but we could not for the life of us get her to eat broccoli. I couldn't figure it out. Asparagus has a pungent aroma and a sharp taste but she would eat as many as 6 full stalks (Cut up of course) but broccoli she wouldn't even taste it. I kept serving it to her meal after meal and year after year, finally she gave in and tasted it about 6 months ago and now she can't get enough. Of course, if it isn't cooked well enough (mushy) she will say it's too hard and not eat it.

The trick I found to work for us is to serve him 3 things. One thing he likes and 2 that he has never tried. I knew if I gave her at least one food that she liked at least I wasn't starving her. Small servings and small cuts work well. Bite size is how I would describe it. I tell her she has to at least taste everything on her plate before she could be excused from the table. If she didn't want to then it was no treat and off to bed. We had to do this only once for her to realize that we meant business. We bribe her occasionally with treats and sometimes she just gives up and says I just really don't like it and we don't make as much fuss now that she eats different things.

Try to find the tastes that he likes and prepare foods that match the taste and texture. If he likes the taste of corn then he would enjoy fresh sweet peas. If he likes chicken then he will like pork roast. That's what I kept doing and now my daughter is willing to experiment a little more. I am not saying that she is all the way there yet because there are things she refuses to eat. She will not touch fresh fruit, melons, peaches, oranges, strawberries none of it. She will eat bananas occasionally and applesauce. I try to make up for some of that with vegetables because she seems to like just about everything except a few things.

I was a picky eater when I was kid and I didn't like things because of the way they looked or smelled and I still have those aversions to things. He will come around, it's just going to be a fight to the finish. Remember, he may have won the battle but he has not won the war. I really feel for you! Good luck!

I would get the processed food out of your fridge & house, if it's not there he can beg and plead all he wants, but will have to eat what is available. He will not starve if he misses one or two meals. Keep a plate of vegetable sticks, some rice balls and other healthy minimally processed snacks (nuts, nut/seed butter, hummus, roasted red pepper dip, eggplant dip, guacamole, etc) in a visible place where he can snack if he's hungry because he didn't eat the meal. When your son complains "I'm hungry mom, " point to the nice snack platter on the table. Remind him if he's not interested in what's on the table, he can wait for the next meal and see if that's more appealing. Oh and be sure to snack from the platter yourself--especially while he's looking. Seeing others enjoy food usually makes others (especially kids) want to try it :D

If his food selection does not improve consider eliminating dairy, gluten (both of which bind to the opiate receptors in our body making us desire them more). artificial colors, nitrates and sugar from his diet for a while. (Most of the foods you mentioned contain one or more of these). Once he becomes less selective in his eating, try introducing each food group individually. If he starts becoming picky again immediately remove the last food you added to his diet and try reintroducing it again some time further off in the future.

Have you talked to your pediatrician? Maybe she can recommend a nutritionist who can help. How about the hot dogs? Will he eat veggie dogs? Hot dogs with cheese in them or on them? That may be a way to get more protein into him.
I don't think the starving thing is going to work if he will refuse other food.
This is totally against what most people will probably say and what I do myself, but, I think you should let him have the hot dogs. If he is hungry enough to eat two, let him. He may just get sick of them and want other things.
Offer him nutritious snacks and foods with it, but, let him know that they are there to try, but he doesn't have to eat them. He may have a problem dealing with tastes or textures and that is something the Dr could probably help you work out.
My nephew only ate hot dogs and a few other things for a while and he's over that now. He eats a lot more now.
As long as he's eating something and drinking the juice (try the V8 splash- my little one loves it and it tastes like regular juice but has the veggies in it) at least he's eating and drinking. That's the most important thing.
Although hot dogs are not really nutritious, they aren't terrible. It's not like he's only eating candy.
Offer him the eggos later on (try the multigrain or fruited ones) and make sure you try to get him to take a multivitamin.
I do think it's a stage and even though it's been a few months, it will wear out.

Try the "he will eat when he's hungry" approach. Although I haven't used it myself, my friends say it works. Get rid of the eggo waffles and hot dogs. Give him a toast with some apple butter for breakfast and a container of cottage cheese or yogurt. If he doesn't want to eat, let him be. Leave it on a table and he'll take it when he's hungry. For lunch, give him some salami or turkey and cheese slices or something like that, and a fruit (watermelon, banana etc). And so on. for dinner, he should be having whatever you're having. Good luck. Be persisent!!!

HI Crystal,

I was wondering if you were still having this problem. My son is 7 and I still have issues. One thing I would suggest is making sure he is taking a natural vitamin not as a replacment for food but to fill in the nutritional gaps he is missing. I can give you info on vitamins if you like.
I myself have been making my son frsh waffles and sneaking things into it he use to only eat frozen waffle too I know how stressful this can be I hope it gets better.if you would like to talk feel free to call me 845/282-4960

Try it! It's not cruel - what's cruel is letting him go through life eating only processed meats and waffles - yuck! Give him a reasonable plate of food (eggs, toast, whatever). Tell him this is the first food he will eat that day. Whenever it's gone, he can have different food. Reproduce the same plate at lunch and dinner if he hasn't yet eaten anything (you might want to secretly replace foods that are less than appetizing after 8 hours - like eggs). I promise you, he will eat it, or at least try it, eventually. Day one is the hardest. The next morning, give him another, different, reasonable plate of food. If you stuck to your guns yesterday, he'll eat sooner today. Keep doing this! My husband and I also have a rule that even if you don't like a food, you have to try at least 1 or 2 bites every time we have it (even my husband and I participate). My oldest daughter learned to love beets this way...but she's not the stubborn one. My son, who turned 4 in May, refused to try anything. My husband and I would literally force food into his mouth and hold his mouth shut to get him to try foods. Sounds cruel, but it worked! Broccoli, asparagus, kohl rabi, turnips. He now loves and willingly eats them all. Good luck. Remember, healthy eating is absolutely the most important thing in maintaining good health and a strong immune system. www.westonprice.org might give you some more ideas, too!

My daughter was like that for years, very picky, from birth. Her pediatrician said he has never seen a child starve, when she is hungry, she will eat. My friend's son would only eat ketchup sandwiches for years. Both picky eaters are now in their 20s, healthy and doing well.

I remember being upset over her eating habits at the time, but we tried to keep the food issue low key. Sometimes I gave her things she liked to eat but not so healthy - sometimes it was "This is what we're eating, take it or leave it." At 24, she is now a more adventurous eater!

I wouldn't stress over it. Of course, if he is having anxiety attacks over food, there may be other issues that you should discuss with your pediatrician.