Picky Eater - 13 Months. Help!

Updated on July 18, 2009
S.S. asks from Littleton, CO
10 answers

I have a 3.5 yr old son who is happy to eat anything we put in front of him. Or at least "try a bite to be polite". Pure bliss. But my 13 mo old daughter screams and cries at the dinner table, almost nightly. She refuses to try what I make for dinner and only wants fruit or a breadstick/crackers. I was hoping this was a phase but it has gone on for months now. It's difficult because she only has her two bottom teeth! Not much hardware to work with. But I cannot make separate meals for everyone at the table. I'm not sure how to get her to like, or at least try, what I make. Obviously I don't want her to be hungry but I don't want to set a precedent of giving her whatever she wants. I never believed that kids were picky eaters on their own but I'm a believer now. I can't take anymore screaming and crying at the table. Has anyone else had this problem? Any ideas? I value my children developing healthy eating habits and my son is on his way but my daughter won't have it. Help!!

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have two great eaters and a 3rd who has been much more difficult. I have found that he refuses food - most of the time - to have some control over his little life. With him, it's more about control than not liking things. I only serve him what we are all eating. I put it on his tray and don't force him or even ask him to eat anything. He often rejects most of it. I will give him a small snack between meals, but only something healthy. I find that by the next meal, he eats a lot more - because he's hungry. I've just not made it a battle and made it my goal to offer him healthy food, not make him eat it. Over time it has taken care of itself. He is 21 months old now and eats quite a bit of the food I give him, although he still has times when he won't eat anything I give him. But he's growing at a normal rate...he's getting enough. I would just concentrate on giving her a variety of good foods and try not to notice or worry about what she does & doesn't eat at any given time. I know - easier said than done!

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O.L.

answers from Denver on

Extreme pickiness CAN be a sign of food allergy. I used to try to cajole my older son into trying everything 'til he turned up allergic. He's got an incredible radar for the foods he's allergic to, so if he says he doesn't like something I don't force it.

That may not be the case for your daughter but it might be worth checking out. Especially since she actually cries about it. My 17 month old has foods he likes & foods he doesn't (I let him choose, too... he's not allergic that we know of but is sensitive to a bunch of stuff) but he doesn't cry about them, he just shakes his head "no."

I usually give the kids what we're eating first, and if they won't eat that they get whatever I can come up with in a couple of minutes on the fly. And I leave the other food in front of them in case they get around to trying again.

Best of luck.

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P.D.

answers from Denver on

I went through this to some degree with both of my girls. The 2 key things I found were; don't pressure her and don't offer her anything else at that meal. If she chooses not to eat, let her know there will be no other food available to her until the next pre-determined meal/snack time. It will not hurt her to be a bit hungry from time to time, and if she gets hungry enough she will eat at least some of what you offer. Unlees you're pressuring her to eat, there will be little reason for her to continue screaming and crying. I just always spoke calmly to my girls, again letting them know this was it. If they didn't like the food, they kind of hung out and picked at it. They were always more than glad to eat at the next meal! This approach also takes away the possibilty of a full-blown power struggle, which you're at risk for if you are trying to talk her into eating. She won't feel like you are 'winning' (and hence, she is 'losing') if she does decide to eat. I have a friend who tried so hard to make her kid eat certain things that he wouldn't even eat a cookie with m&m's in it, thinking she was trying to slip him vegetables! I hate to say it, but at 16 he is still a horrible eater. My kids got over their issues and gradually added more and more variety to their diets. They are all great eaters now.Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

Do I have a website for you! There's a ton of info for parents of picky eaters. Start on the left side of the home page and work your way down. There's info like Transform Your Picky Eater, Picky Eaters Can Love Veggies, and Fueling a Picky Eater. Here it is> http://www.BabyBites.info
Blessings!

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D.A.

answers from Denver on

Hello! I have 3 kiddos. My daughters eat anything from broccoli to sushi but my son who is 2 1/2 is super picky. He was even a bit underweight so I had to cut back on milk and juice. He has begun to eat more and grow out of being so picky. I also just prepare the things that I know he likes and I also make sure to give him1-2 Pedisures (morning and night) if he is being to picky so that I know he is still getting the nutrition he needs! Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Denver on

Hi S.,

My son is just about 14mo old and I had the same problem with him too. For a while he would only eat avocados and fruit, so thats what I let him eat! He would also throw his food on the floor and still does occassionally if he doesn't want it. I used to try different things and make other foods for him but not anymore! I just think that if and when he's hungry he'll eat! I don't think he'll starve himself. When he first started walking and exploring on his own, this is when I mostly had the problem because I don't think he wanted to sit for too long. I would let him down to explore while we ate instead of listen to the screams. Every so often he'd come over and I'd pop some of his food in his mouth. I know that is not a good thing to start, but I only did it for a short time and at least he was eating. Even now he will be picky and just eat fruit, so thats what I'll give him and sometimes I think thats what his body is telling him he needs, especially in the summer. Its hard to eat hot and heavy foods in the summer, while most of us want light and cooling foods, perhaps his body is responding to the season. I also give him about 6 -8 oz of whole milk before bed and I think that is soothing, and fulfilling on his tummy, so he's not going to bed hungry even if he didn't eat a big dinner. I certainly understand it to be frustrating, but trust in yourself, and in knowing that your doing the best you can! I wish you the best and good luck! S.

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

Hi S. -
We learned that this only works if my husband does it.
When we are eating something that doesn't automatically appeal to my son, my husband will make a huge deal out of how yummy it is. Then he will offer him a bite off of his plate (same food). Usually, that makes it look good to him and after a few bites he will try some off of is own plate. It doesn't always work and especially not if I do it, but I figure even if it works half the time it's a good help. I've also found that sometimes the texture of a vegetable is just a little too hard for him and if I cook his portion an extra 5 minutes it is more appealing to him.
Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from Denver on

Up until about 16 months I give my children everything everyone else is getting plus a couple fillers that I know they will eat. I have a similar belief in that I souldn't have to cook separate meals for everyone. By the age of 16 months, if my child is not eating what he/she is given then they don't get anything else. My kids are healthy and active and know the rules. If they are really hungry, they will eat what they are given. Good luck!

Make it a GREAT day!

S.

T.S.

answers from Denver on

Growing up I was a picky eater and therefore was sensitive to it when my middle child turned out to be picky. I understood that he wasn't trying to be difficult, he just really had a strong aversion to some foods. I decided not to make a big deal of it. I gave him a choice. He could at least try one bite of what was for dinner and then he could have a sandwich. A sandwich was the only alternative I ever offered. We never battled, he got fed, he was willing to try new things, and I wasn't making myself crazy trying to figure out what to make for dinner. Of course, now he is 15 and eating everything in sight!

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A.M.

answers from Boise on

I agree with letting her get hungry. (Maybe you should choose a day that you can tolerate it). Make sure you don't let he have snacks before meals though, because she might fill up on those before you know it. If my son even has something to drink too close to meal time he won't eat much. You can also try smoothies. They are a great way to sneak in some carrots, spinach, tofu, protein powder, whatever you can--then hide the color with blueberries and strawberries.

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