Picking up My Toddler

Good luck...my older dd (ivf cycle #7) was 4 when we did our 9th cycle. I wasn't able to take it easy, and still went to work f/t...law enforcement with a HEAVY gun belt. It didn't have an effect one way or the other. I had twins this past Feb. Like you said, women get pg all the time and are picking up a toddler long before - and after - they find they are pg.

Check with your doctor before you do anything, but in a normal pregnancy lifting a toddler shouldn't be a problem. I had a 15 month old when I got pregnant with my second, and I carried her around until I delivered her brother.

Hi, Alex,

I went through four four rounds of fertility treatment (IVF, ICSI, ICSI attempt converted to IUI) and now have two healthy toddlers (ages 3 and almost 2). I agree with Alex. I don't think that picking up your child will affect the outcome of your FET. For about a million years, pregnant women have picked up their older offspring. If the human race was that fragile, I doubt that our species would still be alive, much less number almost 7 billion! Many, many other factors, almost all out of our control, influence whether the cycle will result in a healthy baby. (We have control over a few things, such as taking folic acid and abstaining from drinking alcohol or using recreational drugs.) My Reproductive Endocrinologists (REs) always told me that bed rest would not affect the outcome of a cycle of fertility treatment (IVF) but a woman could rest in bed if she wanted to (probably for her (emotional) sake, not a potential baby's). I would ask your RE if in doubt.

Best wishes,
Lynne E

My daughter was only 15 months when in the same situation. I did what people suggested....get lots of help and then if that can't be done do lots of sitting next to mommy and snuggling. My daughter is fine....I know you don't want to think of it like this but they are very young and won't remember this time. Take care of yourself and just know that it will all work out the way its suppose to!

Why were you avoiding lifting? Was this something you heard somewhere or something your doctor instructed you on? I would ask your doctor about it specifically, and if he says it's not a problem, then it's probably not.

If he says it is a problem, could you find other non-lifting ways to snuggle with her? Like sitting on the couch and having her climb up and cuddle, or having extra story time, or cuddling with her in bed.

As someone who has gone through the same thing, you really shouldn't pick her up during this delicate time. It is not the same as getting pregnant naturally. Those embryos are carefully placed in there and you're hoping they implant. Call your fertility specialist if in doubt. Please try to get as much help as possible at this time. I went through this and picked up my daughter more than I should have. Unfortunately, my embies didn't stick. :( Of course, this might not have why they didn't implant, but it's better to not take the chance, if possible. I know it's hard. Good luck!!

I picked up my toddler throughout my pregnancy (even when necessary when I was restricted physically with a low lying placenta for a few weeks) and he weighed 34 pounds by the end of my pregnancy. Everything turned out fine. Just take it easier and when it's possible, hold your daughter while sitting down so she will still feel like you are holding her, but you will be saving your back. Goodluck!

Hi, B.:

I have a 19 mos old son as well (from IVF) and just went through my 2nd cycle also! You can't avoid picking up your child, or they'll never get in the high chair or get in their car seat, etc. It's just impossible. I just made sure my husband did all the picking up during those first 48 hours after ET. Handling it that way, I still got my BFP and am about 7 wks pregnant now.

Hope this helps! Best of luck!

Susanxx

Just ask your RE what he says. Mine was completely fine with me carrying my 2 year old (29-30 lbs). I've since graduated from the RE and am with a peri (high risk pg) who also has no issue with me carrying her. There have been no studies that have shown that bedrest or other increase the chance of implantation in a fresh cycle (so I'm assuming that applies to FET, too). I cannot imagine trying to tell my baby I can't pick her up.

Did your Doctor specifically tell you, do NOT lift anything "heavy?" if you are pregnant??? And if so, what is the weight limit?

Generally speaking, yes, the generic 'rule' while pregnant is not to lift anything heavy, and certain circumstances, like yours (being in the wait period before finding out your status), is naturally more sensitive.

But I would simply ask your Doctor, per your situation.

All us Moms, who were pregnant with a 2nd child, can't help but "lift" our other child, while pregnant. I know I did... but again, I was not on any restrictions. BUT... if you have extenuating circumstances whereby you absolutely cannot lift anything heavy... then you can't. I know your girl is only 19 months old... but if you are medically directed that you must NOT lift your child, then you shouldn't.
Try using an umbrella stroller in the house... and wheel her around. THEN, you can hold her, but while you are sitting and on your lap. If your girl wants to be held while your are standing up... then you have her stand on a sofa...while you stand facing her, and "carry" her that way... but without her actually being "carried."
Children, can adapt most times... and she may very well understand in some way, that you "cannot" carry her right now.... but there are alternatives.

If your pregnancy is normal and you don't have to limit your activities... then rest assured. Just ask your OB/GYN. Its hard for a Mom to COMPLETELY 'not' carry their other child for 9 months.... Unless you have to, AND you have a helper with you at all times.

All the best,
Susan

Hi there. I have never had IVF, but I am a mom of 3 and I am 32 weeks pregnant with our 4th and final child. I have lots of experience with the dilemma you've described, of having a young child who wants to be held and doesn't understand why mommy isn't picking him up like usual. I've usually only had to resort to this later in pregnancy, but it could work in your situation. Instead of trying to say no or explain, I have gotten really good at dropping to the floor or sitting down and welcoming my toddler onto my lap. I also do lots more walking and holding my little one's hand. Now, this doesn't always work, so I haven't been super-strict about this. Sometimes I'd pick my little one up, or they would just be upset for a little bit. However, I dramatically cut down the amount of carrying I do by just sitting down in the middle of whatever I'm doing and holding them. Good luck to you, and I hope you have another healthy, happy baby.

Hi B.,

I know my situation isn't quite the same, however the result is. I had to have back surgery last month, and as a result I am unable to pick up my son (14 months old) for a total of 6-8 weeks during my recovery otherwise I risk reinjury. It took me about 6 months to agree to the surgery for the simple reason of not being able to pick up my son.

Its been 4 weeks since my surgery, and my son has learned to adjust. The first week was probably the hardest on my son and I. but, every time he wanted me to lift him, my husband or mom would lift him up onto my lap. And, since I'm still nursing my son at sleep time, they have also been helpful at bringing my son to me. Additionally, my son quickly learned how to climb on mommy's lap.

it will be hard, but it IS NOT impossible. It has to be a family commitment though to help you and your daughter through this time.

Good luck!!!

Hey B.,
Because your using IVF as your means to conceive, I would suggest not picking up your daughter. You need to give those embryos a chance to get a strong attachment and a good healthy placenta. If you pick up something too heavy, it could cause issues for the babies in attaching properly or in your placenta's ability to provide all their needs.
A great way to detour your daughter is to have her sit in your lap, or if she wants to be picked up, tell her that your back is bothering you. You can always give her other alternatives such as holding your hand, cuddling in bed, etc. But whatever you do, dont' tell her that it's because of the baby or she may develop resentment towards it.