My soon to be 4 yo son is picking up some pretty nasty words at pre-school. Of course we've told him that's not nice and don't say them and I don't want to make a big deal out of it because then he'd just keep doing it. The thing is, he might not know what he's saying, but he sure knows when to use them. It's driving me crazy and It's hard for me not to blow up when he does this! I know a couple of the kids in his class are having a pretty rough time at home now and it's not their fault that they are hearing such language, but I don't want my son talking like that. How has anyone else handled this?
Just continue to tell him, "we do not use that word". "That is not an appropriate word." Then give him a "good word" to replace the bad word.
Let him know each time he uses an inappropriate word, he will get a time out and then do it..
Have you asked your pre-school how they handle these words? I am assuming they do the time out chair also..
1 Minute per his age.. 4 yo.. 4 minutes..
Our son will be 4 in a few weeks, too.
There are a few words the kids at school and those in the neighborhood say that we don't allow.
So, when he uses then, we correct him on the spot (similar to what Laurie A mentioned).
"Do we use that word?"
"No"
"Then why did you say it?"
"Evan's mommy and daddy let him say it"
"That's OK for Evan's mommy and daddy, but I'm your Mommy, and it's not OK in our house. Do you understand?"
Our son knows when to use them, too, but he doesn't fully understand why we don't use them. So, we're taking the repetition approach currently.
If it continues to be a real problem in our house, we'll start imposing penalties (taking shows away, time-out, etc) until he learns it's not going to fly in our family.
Good luck!
Your son sounds bright and inquisitive. He's just trying to figure out his world and thank goodness you are there to help him manage it. Don't look at this as a bad thing. See it as an opportunity for your son to learn about the behaviors of others and how he doesn't have to be like them. It's his natural response at his age to mimic, but he also expects to be redirected when the behavior is unacceptable. You will never be able to completely control which experiences your son will encounter, but you can teach him by example how to behave when he does encounter them. Do you have other words you use that he can say instead, like "Oh, man!" or (my favorite when I was a teacher) "Sugar!" My students would laugh and say, "I know what you were going to say!" and I would respond, "Well, what would you rather have coming out of your mouth?" Good luck!
I agree.
We call those "potty words"
My daughter tried that a couple of times. The first time is a warning. Second time is time out. We have never had a 3rd time, but if we did the consequense would be something like loss of tv time.
They may not understand the word or what it means, but they understand when they do or say something that isn't appropriate because we have been teaching them no since birth.
Be firm and talk to the preschool teacher about how she would handle this at school.
Good luck and I hope the "potty" talk ends soon and doesn't take place in the store :)
The school should not be tolerating that kind of language. You should talk with the teachers/director and find out what their policy is. They should be speaking to any child who uses that language, and taking appropriate steps to correct, discipline, etc. If they don't take it seriously and they just allow kids to speak like that, I would look for another preschool that does a better job of teaching kids manners and social skills. And then, of course, you need to do what you need at home to make it clear that you won't allow that kind of language in your home (I agree with answers below).
