Partial Bed Rest at 35 Weeks

Hi J.! Now's the time to call in the troops! Friends, family, neighbors.....get the word out that you need help and I bet plenty of people will give you a hand.

Do you belong to a mom's club? If not, I'd join right now. One of the services the members provide each other is help during times of need and that includes during bedrest. Seriously, all we need to learn is that a member needs help and what she would like and we bring food, pick up kids so that she can get a break, really anything at all. Where do you live? I belong to the mom's club of bloomington.

I was on bedrest for 10 weeks; my daughter was born at 38 weeks. My advice is to let everyone you have a relationship with (family, friends, church family, co-workers of your husbands, etc.) know that you need help, exactly what you need and when you need it. If people ask what you need, be frank. Give them a list of options and let them pick what they can offer. Don't be disappointed if people don't call or offer help on their own. We live in a very small town, surrounded by family and friend and we found the majority of people were too afraid to bother us. Little did they know we were losing our minds! The other part - follow your bedrest, every day that baby can stay inside counts toward a healthier baby. If caring for your 21 month old steps outside the boundaries of your bedrest, than consider asking several different people to help care for your child while your husband is gone - this may help it not be so much to handle for one person.

Hire someone to come in and help you. I know... you don't have the money. But you won't miss it once you can lie down and rest for three more weeks before you have TWO on your hands.

Take a vacation J., bring in some help.

Do you have friends that live near by? It would be great if you had someone that could take your little boy ocasionally so that you could get some rest. I know it is hard to do, but it is amazing what friends will do if you tell them what is going on and ask for a little help.

If your husband really doesn't understand and isn't helping you have the dr call him. I'm sure then he would take it seriously. I just had to tell my husband that the dr said so, but I understand all don't believe that.

I got put full bedrest at 29 weeks and then when that didn't work hospital bedrest at 31 weeks.

Do whatever you can to stay on bedrest at home you don't want hospital bedrest way worse.

I had a little mini station in the family room where I could lay on the couch, I had the computer set up on the coffee table and the tv of course. The hardest part is letting other's do for you or help you. Get some magazines, crossword puzzles, if you knit or sew do that. Follow your doctors orders though and don't get up much. Be prepared to have the baby early. Atleast your pretty close to your due date. I didn't listen to my bedrest well, because my fiance wouldn't help around the house with ANYTHING and I ended up having my daughter 7 weeks premature. My fiance wouldn't do the laundry or cook or anything he was upset I had to leave my job earlier than expected and since I wasn't bringing in any money it was my job to do stuff around the house. Needless to say I blame him for my daughter being born premature and he is out of our lives. I am pregnant again and facing bedrest again atleast this time around I have a new guy and my daughter is almost 7 so she can help alot and is really independant. See if family can take your son off your hands just for a few hours if nothing else.

I was pregnant with twins and got put on bedrest with a 3 yr old. I was, and still am a single mother. I had lots of movies and lots of stuff to play with in bed. He was pretty good about helping me and we had a good bonding for when the twins did arrive. All I can say is, do your best and God will do the rest :)
Good luck..bedrest is hard time!!
Ang

I'm suprised your doctor put you on bedrest at 35 weeks! I know that 37 is technically "term" but a lot of people are allowed off of bedrest at 35 weeks because most 35-weekers do just fine. Plus, a lot of people sit at 3-4 cm dialated for weeks! If bedrest is a must, try cartoons (though my 21 mo old does not watch tv--she too is way too active), coloring (my daughter does like that), toddler puzzles, computer games (pbs.com has some good toddler stuff), books, blocks...have your husband make a "safe room" in your house that your son can just run around in and not get into trouble. Hope those suggestions help...I was on bedrest of 1 1/2 months with my daughter. It sucked but at least I didn't have a toddler to deal with! I hope I don't end up on bedrest with my current pregnancy! Keep in mind that you really only have to make it two more weeks to be "term". Hang in there! It will work out!

With my daughter, I was put on home rest when I was 35 weeks--that literally meant, only to get up to go to the bathroom and to eat. Sounds lovely, bedrest--until you're the one who has to do it! Suddenly, watching TV only goes so far, as do puzzles, brainteasers, word finds, Sudoku, etc. It just gets...boring.

Unfortunately, at 36 weeks I ended up in the hospital for another week of bedrest, and then another week for inducement (week 37), so I was on bedrest for a total of three weeks. (I have hypertension, and developed a mild form of pre-eclampsia.)Bedrest at the hospital is sooooo boring. Whatever you do, try to remain at home! LOL My OB was angling for at 37 weeks gestation, and we made it!

It's hard, but worth it. Having another little one makes it trickier to get the rest you need, but everyone here gave you some wonderful suggestions. My daughter is a lover of movies and videos; if I ever had to go through that experience again, I know of one sure fire way to keep her entertained!

I wish you and the soon-to-be-here little one all the best.

A. C.

My best advice is find anything and everything that you and your son can do while you rest i.e. puzzles, books, Little people play town, animals etc. When you hubby is home ask him to help do the laundry and vaccuming since those can be a big job and you shouldn't do!!

I have experienced bedrest multiple times just do the best you can to do as little as possible.

Best of luck,
A.

I was on bedrest with all 3. Every day in the womb, is so wonderful for your babys/ health. Try to make it to 37 weeks, for the baby's lungs. realize this is such a short time in the long term picture of your life, and your family's. go online, there are bedrest chatrooms and support groups and blogs...lots and lots of women to talk to. they'll help pass the time and encourage. stay off those feet!!!!!!!

First of all, at 35 weeks you have almost made it! Your baby will be full term in just a couple of weeks and probably just needs some weight gain and a little lung development. I don't have much advice about how to deal with your little one (other than ask for help!) because I was on bed rest with my first child. I was on bed rest at 32 weeks and made it to 36 weeks. My son was born very small, but healthy and didn't need any special care. My mom and grandma did my cleaning for me. I had friends visit and bring lunch. I had a computer nearby (as long as you can use it without sitting up)and lots of reading material. I also did arm curls with large soup cans so my arms wouldn't get completely weak and I'd be able to lift the baby when it arrived. Good luck!

I went through the same thing with my third child, and was on meds that made me jittery and uptight. I spent a lot of time on the couch, with doors shut/cupboards barred against inquisitive hands. Try to corral your little one, make use of good educational programming/videos, let the housework go as much as possible and accept help from family and friends. If no one knows your plight, tell them! Even a load of wash or bathing the toddler can be a big help. My husband travels a lot, so he was gone most of the time and as wonderful as he is, he forgot about my condition in the wake of his busy work schedule. Since I was the one living it, I never forgot and sometimes got angry, but that was wrong of me. Be forgiving, gently remind him of what the doctor said, thank him that you can stay home, and let the little stuff go.

SAHM of seven

I was on total bedrest for 6 months with a 3 year old. My husband prepared breakfast and lunch for us before he left for work. He'd prepare stuff that would stay pretty fresh sitting out in the open for long hours. For breakfast, he'd bring a bowl of cereal with milk on the side, bagels, mini cream cheeses in foil pks, fruit, etc. For lunch peanut butter sandwiches, those tuna/cracker lunch kits, soups in a thermos, whole wheat buns/rolls, cheese and crackers etc. Bottled water and juices etc. For the little guy any kind of healthy finger foods. He'd set it all up on a t.v. tray or two next to the bed. Tissues, remote controls, videos(mostly for junior) books, laptop, phone, anything you'd need to keep both myself and the little one busy. He put safety gates everywhere so that the three year old was forced to remain in one of two rooms and a hallway (his room, and my room). One plus I had was I have a bathroom in my bedroom, and its literally a couple of steps from my bed, so while bathroom time was tough by myself (I had a broken pelvis from a fall in addition to unrelated pre-term issues!!) but I managed when nature called.

We were in the middle of potty training when everything kinda happend so I was able to keep "talking him through" it all and we didn't get too far off track. The big thing with the little guy was keeping him occupied. Unfortunately, I used a lot of t.v. but I would play as much as I could in bed using puppets, reading stories, drawing and coloring with him, and letting him make baskets with his little hoop using socks and tossing them across the room from my bed next to me. I'd even let him haul his matchbox sets and Take Along Thomas sets into my room, and he's set up little cities on my bed all around me. A couple of days a week grandma would come for the day to give us all a break and clean up a little. But we live very far apart, so this was sporadic. Everyone else we know was either at work or too far away.

The days got really, really long for us. Especially if DH has late meetings at work. But we managed using this plan. Thank goodness we delivered almost a month early and we all turned out okay. I think I would have lost my mind if we had to go the full 40!

Good luck. I hope some of these ideas help.

Hi J., your situation sure takes me back, I wish you all kinds of good luck! For me, the only way to do it was little bits at a time. We had a small living-room area that I could close off, so my toddler and I spent most of the day there, and I'd lie down on the sofa as many minutes as possible, and whenever I really had to get up, I'd make sure to lie right back down again. It was often seven minutes rest, three minutes rest, twelve minutes rest .... but adding all those up, plus making sure to lie down the entire ninety minutes or so he napped, I did manage to get the four hours a day my doctor had said was required. Reading books, getting out the Duplo, paper and crayons, all helped "buy" me more minutes..... and the lying down, even in bits like that, did seem to make a big difference to mine and baby's health. And now that "at risk" baby is a premed junior in college, so it all came out great! You are adding in one more factor, though, your husband's knee surgery. In an ideal world, you'd have great help, or he'd be eager to do everything he could to help you rest. I didn't have that ideal world, and it sounds like you don't, either. Your husband will need to be resting, so he'll be home, but he won't be able to help you much, and that'll be frustrating. Maybe he can help entertain your toddler some of the time, reading stories or such, while you do the (minimal) meal prep etc., and continue resting every possible minute? Maybe you could have a family resting area, with tissues and glasses of whatever and whatever near at hand? Good luck J., it's a tough time but you can do it, and you are building a family and a history together as well as making it through the current challenge ... so it's worth all the thought and patience you are bringing to it!