Parenting Two Kids

I am not really qualified to answer this considering I only have one kid right now...but I have another one due in January and I worry about the same thing...

Anyways...I wanted to share something my sis-in-law said to me. (She has a 3.5 yr old and a 9 month old.) She said that she always tries to deal with the 3.5 yr old first because she is going to remember that mom didn't do this...or that mom skipped that...or mom didn't pay attention to her. Whereas the 9 month old isn't going to really remember that. Now...don't get me wrong...she doesn't ignore the baby. But...if both kids are crying or upset about something...or hungry...whatever...she tends to the older one first...and then the baby. It seems like a logical thing to do...

As long as they both feel loved and cared for...that is all that really matters...

Do you wear your baby? If not you may want to try it. It'll give you the ability to play with and feed your older child AND your tiny one. All your tiny one cares about right now is eating, pooping, sleeping and being close to you so what better way to give both children the emotional attachment they need than to wear your tiny one around the house? I'd say just let the baby have his own schedule, even though it'll drive you mad it's ok for now because for the first couple of months all they do is sleep anyway (or most do). You can use your toddlers nap time to cuddle and play with your baby and give him that one on one attention he needs. Chances are as he gets older he'll notice big brother playing and want to watch him, taking interest in him and stuff. This will cause their schedules to mesh together more and make it easier on you. Definitely try wearing that baby though. He can be attatched to you nursing all day long and you'll still be able to give attention to your tot and hands free too!

Welcome to having more than one child! It gets better with more. Ha. Only you can find that balance. I would try to feed before going out and plan ahead in case he will get hungry (like a bottle of formula, prepumped breastmilk, or even sugarwater-to tide him over a short while). Many times I would pump right before I left if I was right in the middle of feeding time. Then I didn't engorge or get off schedule and the bottle was ready to go. Babies can sleep almost anywhere when truly tired. A baby carrier (like sling or front carrier) can help a lot. My babies could skip a feeding entirely if they were in one of those, up close to you, rocked with your movement. I could grocery shopping, anything. On days that you have a normal schedule, then try to keep to a schedule. Other than that, just do your best with the best plan you can come up with. Your baby will survive and even be better off in a sense. I think they can learn early to be flexible. Babies are stronger and more resilient than we give them credit for nowadays.

I have a 2-1/2 year old and a nine month old and I have found that some days I do have to skip my 2 year olds fun outside stuff in insure that my 9 month old gets enough sleep. I mix it up during the week and some days she just sleeps in by baby carrier and I have to feed her on the go. Also some afternoons I choose to stay home to get her a nice nap in the bed if I did not in the morning. Your older one will adjust and you will find something that works for you all.....just be patient. The most important thing for you now it so make sure the little one gets to eat and sleep whenever the baby needs it and to assure your older one that you love them too.

All easier said than done but it gets a bit easier with time.

Try reading Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy child. This book has some great advice. I have 4 kids and try to just keep my life as normal as possible. I usually allow my 7 month old to nap in the carseat in the mornings while I run errands or go to the gym but I make sure that I am at home for that afternoon nap. If your child never takes naps in his own bed then he will not be used to sleeping in it which will cause a variety of problems. My sister has 6 children and the only time her youngest would nap was if she were in her carseat in the car. She wouldn't fall asleep at night until she was so tired she had no choice but to fall asleep. She is 3 years old now and my sister still has trouble getting her to sleep much less in her own bed. Try and establish some sort of routine by the time your child is 6 months old. At 6 months the child starts to form habits.

First off, I think 1 mo. is way too young to try and schedule naps! He will sleep when he's tired, regardless of whether you have him on the floor shaking a rattle LOL my girls are 2 years apart and I just let the younger one sleep whenever she fell asleep...usually while I had her in the snuggli or car seat or stroller or swing....well pretty much anywhere LOL. I didn't start putting her in her bassinet or crib for naps until she was probably 3 or 4 months old. At that age, babies can be awake for longer periods of time and have more of a routine. she would take a few 1-2 hour naps per day at that age. At around 6 mo. she started taking just one morning and one afternoon nap...it depended on what time she woke up as to what time I laid her down. And if we were out somewhere, she had no trouble falling asleep in the car or stroller or whatever. But like I said, at this age your son can (and should) just sleep anywhere and anytime his body needs to =)

A one month old sleeps so much still that you would never leave the house or have anyone come over for a very long time. I would just do what you do and he will sleep wherever he is. I have four boys and I didn't really start worrying about being home for their naps til they were around 9 months old cause they usually are trying to fall asleep around the same time about that age. My kids would take two naps a day, one right before lunch and then one before supper and I would make sure that we were home or at least try to be home so that he could lay down. So while they were sleeping I would be making lunch or supper for the other kids and my husband. Now my youngest is almost 16 months and he sleeps from 12:00-2:00 or 2:30 everyday so I make sure that I am home for that time cause if not he will sleep for a little bit and then wake up cranky and get tired again late and won't go to bed til late and his bed time is 8:30. But if that does happen it isn't the end of the world, it has happened a few times and the next day he is right back on his schedule. So just try different things that work for you and see how it goes. But don't worry about it yet he is still so little.

I just drug my poor baby around with me to all of the activities I did with my oldest. Car carriers are great because you can put them in the car and tote them all around your destination in a stroller or what not, and never have to wake the child. My daughter just learned to sleep when she was tired and it was never a problem. She would wake up when she needed to nurse. Let her tell you what her schedule is for a while. You only have to change it if she starts waking up more in the night. If you know you will be going to an activity, just wake her up to feed her and then let her go back to sleep in the carrier if she needs to. I find that not making such a big deal makes the child an easy going, go-with-the-flow kind of kid!

I was in the same dilema not too long ago. But with the baby being only 1 month, you probably should limit your outings. Find someone who can take your oldest to his activities. or find things he likes to do at home. Schedules are very important right now for the baby and i wouldn't worry about trying to correlate their schedules. They will eventually work out later. My oldest son and I have some really great quality time when the baby is taking his morning nap. We read books, play games, puzzles,leggos, and just being silly with him. Especially with the weather getting colder, and the chance for babies to get RSV gets really scary ( I had a friend who recently put her 6 week old daughter in the hospital with RSV. VERY scary!!) I would just stay in as much as possible. Have friends over and find things you like to do at home. Congratulations on your new arrival. and good for you for doing babywise and getting good schedules. you sound like a supermom to me! Take this time to enjoy your new baby. Slow down and take it all in. it really doesn't last long!