Painful Intercourse After Vaginal Delivery

It took me 9 months. I blamed it on the two episiotomies. I didn't know about the estrogen effect, but I was breast feeding for one year.

You are sooo not alone. It was very painful for me and I had my last daughter two years ago. My husband & I were only having sex like once a week, if that, because I didn't want to be in pain. It's much better now. I think that since we are all different it takes some longer to get over the stress that our bodies went through during birth. It will get better, though.

Sorry to hear that. I would speak to your GYN about recommending a estrogen cream that should help with this issue. Good luck

Yes - intercourse was painful for me after the birth of myson - for almost a year! I had a third degree tear and it really felt like I was stitched up too tightly...It eventually became more comfortable, but it certainly took a lot longer than I had expected...

I'm the same too. It has now been two years and once in a while it hurt during intercourse. After the first year things did get much better.

I had a lot of pain for a few months after delivery. I tore with my second daughter and had an episiodmy with my first. Either way I had stitches and I think that contributed to it. It was painful where the stitches were. I think it just takes time to heal. I have had numerous friends say it was very painful after the 6 weeks period (for at least a few months). I would say it took 6 mths to feel better. I too was breastfeeding.

J.,
Yes, it was very painful for me for almost a year. It is espcially true if you are breastfeeding. Your doctor may prescribe a estrogen cream to use. Mine did. Also use lubricant and try to get your husband to understand. It will pass once the bf is over.

I am also a first time mommy, I have a five month old little girl. And I TOTALLY sympathize! I tore a little bit during delivery and still experience pain and tightness during sex; sometimes even at random times during the day or during breastfeeding; so don't worry, you are definitely not alone. The best advice I can give is tons of lube and LOTS of foreplay foreplay foreplay! hehe. we've also had to get a little more inventive as far as positions go, and that's helped a great deal as well. Avoid positions that tend to put pressure on your perineum (believe me this simple fact works wonders). Honestly though, if I'm not REALLY in the mood, it just isn't the same. I'm still breastfeeding too and it really has made me a lot more dry, but as the months fly by i've noticed it getting a great deal better. Since i've been on the mirena, i've noticed that my skin is experiencing the same sensitivities that i had during pregnancy which is a huge bummer! for example, i know this may be a little TMI but the whole time i was not able to use any regular soaps in the bath and shower, i could only use aveeno's totally plain moisturizing body wash which is fragrance free and hypoallergenic, and the only lubes we could find that didn't "burn" down there, (yeah BURN) were astroglide and also ID makes some fun flavored stuff that only mildly irritated me. I truly hate progesterone! hahaha

Good luck!

J.

Hi J.,
I had the same problem. My doctor offered me estrogen pills that you insert but I wasn't too sure how I felt about them. Not too many studies have been done on whether that affects your baby when breastfeeding. My Dr. said they were such low amounts of estrogen that it shouldn't affect the baby but I still wasn't sure. And even with the pills it would take 8 wks to get me back to normal...the same amount of time it would take if I chose to stop breastfeeding instead. So at 8 months I decided to stop breastfeeding, it was a really hard decision but along with the low estrogen, breastfeeding was just completely draining me. I had no energy. It still took me about 8 weeks to get back to normal. And although I still struggled with my decision to stop breastfeeding, it really was the right choice for me. My son slept through the night for the first time and then on out and I got my energy back and my love life with my husband began to get back to normal. I hope this helps. Good luck, and maybe in the mean time have some fun in other ways with all the before stuff that we all usually skip over, hehe.

Hi J.,

I went through the same thing after my daughter. Vagisil makes a water-based lubricant that works well. Stay away from anything warming or flavored. Anything too thick will feel like it burns. Anything water based will work better.

Upon delivering my second child I told my midwife about how for three years intercourse was painful, she informed me that my previous OB performed "a husband stitch" while repairing the perineum. He closed up the torn perineum, then made one more stitch to, well, close the gap, if you will, that childbirth tends to cause.

Advice: check with your OB to see if that was what happened. I understand they can reverse it. BTW, congratulations!

I have experienced this same situation. asking your partner to be gentler and changing different poisitions can help. I think that once brestfeeding is fulfilled for you and the baby your body will start to get back to normal.

I still have some pain on occassion, but at the bottom, where I had a tear. I'm sorry your having some troubles, make sure your relaxing too, if your nervous about pain it will be harder. Good luck. I've notice dryness as well, and I nurse, but I have to admit I was probably a little sore for about the first 6 months, we had to take it pretty slow.

I was not able to breastfeed my son, but I know that it was painful for about a year. I don't know if this has anything to do with it but I was induced with my son because of infection. I had the pitocin as well as suppositories vaginally. The labor was 92 hours with no pain relief so I was very tensed up. When it was time to push I just about pushed that kid out across the room!! I thought maybe it was due to the long induced labor. I was in a lot of pain after the delivery and everytime I stood I thought my insides were going to drop out, if you know what i mean!! It did get better slowly, if that helps. They also make some lubrications with a little numbing stuff in them. They are a "specialty" item and you may have to look on the web for them, but they helped my a little too.

T.

i thought it would never go away and i was really bummed. it did go away though

It was extremley painful for me and felt like I was still ripped on all sides! I was actually scared to have sex for a while. All in all, it took some slow tender TLC and with "practice" we eventually got our grove back!

You're not alone. Hang in there. It can be pretty frustrating for you and him.. I know..

I had that problem after all of my babies (4). The only thing that I found seemed to help was some extra sleep. I know it sounds odd, but being overtired and exhausted, as new mothers are, you can't 'respond' and get excited very easily.

I had the same problem and I was also breatsfeeding. Even after my postpartum checkup, I was having pain during sex. It did get better!! My daughter was 6 months before the pain started going away.

You an I had our girls around the same time, and yes, it hurt the first few times and I'm still sensitive...but I found LOTS of lubrication did the trick...try astroglide...I love it...it works better than KY, and don't use anything w/warming, flavoring, etc. Good Luck

I wrote in a while back with the same issue. I still have discomfort and it has been almost 2 years! But it is getting better little by little. My Dr. put me on birth control 3 months after delivery but it didn't help much (I was also breastfeeding) He said the best thing was lots of lube, relaxing and have more sex. Which I laughed at because that is what I would expect a man to say. I tore during delivery so the scarring is my problem. Just breathe deep and take it slow. I am told it eventually goes away. Just know you are not alone. You will get lots of responses!

I didn't have this after my daughter but after I had my son in June I did. It's still kind of painful but it gets better (and I am still breastfeeding). The having sex more often will help (though I'm usually so worn out I don't do it). One thing you may want to try is having sex in the shower, still use the lube but the water can help too, it did for me. Another thing, we were using condoms for the first few times after because I wasn't on birth control yet and when we stopped using them it got a lot better so if you're using condoms you may want to try a different kind of birth control too. Hope this helps.

Hi J.,

I had the very same feeling and was also breast-feeding. It was not only painful, it was EXCRUCIATING!!! I honestly felt like each time we had sex, it was the first time all over again but 10,000 times worse. I felt like my insides shrunk plus it burned during and afterwards. Our baby girl is now 14 months and I breast-fed her until 12.5 months old and sex is just now, within the past few weeks, not so painful. I believe I was on the extreme side because none of my friends had the pain for that long. Most said a few months and they were pretty much back to normal. I hope it gets better for you soon :)
Take Care, T.