Painful Intercourse

I had intercourse with no problems for years, then out of no where it was painfull all the time. I also went to 3 or 4 different obgyns and specialists. everybody said i was fine so i just told myself it must be in my mind. When i got pregnant( about 3 years after painful sex started) i had alot of pain in my back and my midwife sent me to physical therapy. During physical therapy she discovered one of my legs was a tiny bit longer than the other. She asked me if sex was painfull for me. I answered yes, extremly painful, once my husband got past a certain point it was almost like a popping feeling that was very painful. She said I needed to see the internal physical T. before I had my baby or I was going to be in a lot of pain. I was in tears just to hear somebody say there was a reason and it wasnt all in my mind. I saw the internal P.T. which was very painfull & embarasing, but very very worth it. Child birth went by smoothly and sex has been fine ever since.
What was wrong with me was that I had a lot of scar tissue built up in the vaginal canale. She said she sees it alot in women who have been sexualy abused or raped. In my case it was from years of snowmobiling.
Best of luck to you, it's a horrible thing for you and your husband to have to go through. After a while it really take a toll on your relationship. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me.

I have a very dear friend who was allgeric to her own husband's semen! Has anyone mentioned that as a possibility? My friend's sensitivity has gone away since her husband has had a vasectomy. She has also become more aware of what her body is sensitive to and has adjusted her eating habits and what consmetics she uses. Right now, "living green" is spoken about everywhere, but it might actually help you in this area, too. There are so many toxins in many foods and cosmetics, our bodies have to work overtime to try to purge it all. This might seem completely unrelated, but it manifests itself in so many ways... I cannot guarantee that this would solve your problem, but it couldn't hurt! Blessings to You and Yours!

Have you ever had sex without pain? Perhaps with another partner? Without knowing more about your pain, it's difficult to give advice but if I were you I would deal with this BEFORE you get pregnant. Sexual issues are really high on the list of things that can result in the break-up of a marriage and I really think you owe it to your future children to make certain your marriage is as rock solid as possible before adding anyone else. Your hubby might be the most patient and understanding person in the world, but sexual intimacy is extremely important to most men and if you are in pain every time you have sex you are not likely to want to have it. This is NOT a formula for a happy husband. And a happy husband is critical for a happy marriage.

Keep going to different doctors until you get the proper answer. Just because pain during intercourse is a common problem does NOT mean it is normal. You need to be very aggressive and you need to be willing to visit as many different doctors as possible. Tell each new doctor what the previous doctors have told you and what you have tried and see if they can give you a different answer or a referral to someone who can help.

I realize your problem seems a little beyond this, but have you tried pre-seed lubricant. It's designed for women trying to get pregnant, but it really made sex much better for me. I buy it on line at www.Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com

It might help us to know what type of pain you are talking about. Is it dull, sharp, burning, etc.

Have you been tested for STD's? Some have no symptoms, specifically PID, Pelvic Inflammatory disease. That causes painful intercourse.

It's also possible that your uterus could be "tipped" the wrong way, making it perfectly positions for banging into with intercourse? After my partial hysterectomy, due to fibroids and pre-cancerous cervix, my pain with intercourse went away. A whole new world opened up for me!

I'd try all the other suggestions on here, look up things on the internet to know more and figure out which matches your symptoms, then ask your doctor to check you for all of them. It's got to be something.

Oh, and I'd ruled out the 'in-the-head' problem already b/c I wanted sex, liked it, all the way up to the banging and then just gritted my teeth for it to be done and move on to the after part where I was then satisfied. Fortunately for me, this led to my pregnancies before the hysterectomy so I was able to have children. I wish I'd known about some of these other things to have tried b/c I also have a small vaginal canal (I'm a petite woman) and it took awhile, and some children, for it to stretch, making it an issue when giving birth also. So if that's part of the problem work slowly on ways to expand the canal. Also kegels do give the woman more sexual pleasure b/c the muscles expand/contract during orgasm, making it that much more heightened. It was worth the time I spent doing them.

Oh, and latex condoms and exams by the doctor using latex gloves is how I learned that I'm allergic to latex, so if you are feeling raw after the doctor exam, consider that also - it might not be that just the doctor's finger insertion into the vagina that causes the pain, although for me that was painful too b/c I was so small. Fortunately, the more you use it the bigger it gets, which is also why the kegels are important.

And I've also learned with my new partner that the presence of foreskin does mean more lubricant during intercourse and that has been the final accidental 'solution' that seems to have resolved all my pain. Hoooray!

THere is a women's physical therapist who might help. after I had my twins sex was painful for me. I went and saw her and after 2 appointments I could have sex without discomfort. Her name is Tami Kent. Here is her website.

http://www.wildfeminine.com/about.php

As far as I know I think she takes some insurances, but I paid out of pocket. It was totally worth the cost. I don't know if there is anyone in your area who does the same thing but if you get in contact with her she might be able to assist you in finding someone in your area. If not maybe it would be worth the drive for you.

S.

Hi J.!

So sorry you're going through this - that must be hard on both of you.

I would definitely try to figure this out before conceiving a child. In addition to the advice mentioned by the pp, pain during intercourse could be a sign that you have a low-grade bacterial infection that could cause damage to the baby.

It could be so many things - some of which you've tried to address with lubricants and positioning. Other reasons could be just a small opening - I read of one woman who had to have her opening increased through out-patient surgery. Although, this is quite rare.

While most women have experienced pain during intercourse at some point in their lives (for example, the first couple times after giving birth, during or after menopause, if they haven't had sex in some time, if they have a bacterial infection, etc.), most women don't experience pain during intercourse on a regular basis.

It's definitely something you need to just keep researching and seeing specialists on. My heart goes out to you - it must be so frustrating to not have an answer to this!! I pray you find an answer quickly and that you are soon enjoying the man you love.

J. ,
I was wondering the same thing ? what are your pain symptoms ? does it hurt inside ? outside? burning ?
What do you mean that you read it is a common problem ?
sorry so many questions but I think I might have your answers .but I need to know more about your symptoms.

In addition to talking to your doctor (or at even a 4th one) about something like vaginismus try asking about endomitriosis or fibroid tumors. I had very painful intercourse, heavy periods and very painful periods. Turned out I had a lime sized fibroid and severe endomitriosis. The fibroid was diagnosed with an ultrasound (but endo cannot be). I had surgery to remove the fibroid and that's when the doctor found the endo. He also removed that and since intercourse has been relatively pain free.

Hi,
I think 1 of 3 things might be going on. 1) some sort of mental/pyschological thing; 2) an infection; or 3) your hormones are a bit off in the critical area. This can lead to dryness and less elasticity in the skin. I had this post baby and was prescriped a hormone replacement cream to be inserted vaginally. It toally helped!!!

Good luck!

Hi J.,

I truly feel for you. When my daughter was born I had really severe pain for almost 18 months. It was worse during intercourse. Because mine was nerve related it dealt with my back as well. It helped me to do women's vaginal physical therapy and keagal muscle exercises. It does work but it takes A LOT of discipline and dedication to heal the area. We saw a physical therapist in Redmond, WA at Redmond Physical Therapy who was very helpful.

There was also a DR. in Seattle who was helpful as well who dealt with women's issues like vaginitis. For me, I found it was mostly related and irrittaed by dietary issues. However, that may not be the case for everyone.

Praying you are better soon.... Believe it will happen, and you will see the results before your eyes!

Many Blessings,

K.S.

Hi J.,
You may have vulvodynia or vulvar vestibulitis. I highly recommend you call the UW Women's Health Care Center. Erin Mahoney, ARNP and David Eschenbach, MD are 2 providers I refer my patient to when they are in similar to yours situation. They specialize in female sexual dysfunction. Here is their contact info: http://uwmedicine.washington.edu/PatientCare/MedicalSpeci...
If the problem is not physical, I recommend you see Carolyn Livingston, PhD, ARNP for sexual therapy. She is wonderful! Here is her info: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2002197995_s... Her phone number is ###-###-####.
Good luck. I hope you will find a solution soon!

Do you have painful and irregular periods some of the time? My pain during intercourse was caused by endometriosis. It could only be diagnosed with a laproscopy. My pain was internal and tended to be dull tho sometimes it became sharp depending on how "active" we were. Often I continued to have dull abdominal ache for hours afterward.

I had major surgery to remove the endometrium and gradually the pain returned. The pain was less and more dull. This time the dr thought it was from scar tissue.

Here's a bit of history over which to smile now but I certainly didn't then. The dr suggested I had unsolved emotional issues with my father causing the pain. I don't think they knew much, if anything, about endometriosis then.

Hi J.-

My sister had this problem and was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. It took awhile for a doc to finally understand what was going on with her, but once she knew what it was, she was able to do excercises (really!) to help her out and she is now having intercourse without any pain and is even pregnant.

Good luck!

J., try physical therapy. Not all, but a select few physical therapists provide "women's health" which includes help recovering from incontinence and painful sex. I had to seek PT on my Naturopath/Midwife's recommendation after pregnancy. This PT is located downtown Portland and has told me stories about women who couldn't even have intercourse until they sought PT and now have happy sex lives. If you want her name, just email me.

Thanks!
T.

I know of someone who had a similar experience. My heart goes out to you. Shame on the doctors you have seen. What I can say is that you need somehow to see the head of gynocology at a major hospital or Womens Clinic. Don't leave until they have run every test. Stand your ground. This is your life. It's all about finding that doctor who will listen. Find out, write certain doctors. Who would refer you etc. I will pray for you and your husband. There is an answer and a solution. It could be a number of things, anything from endrometriosis (spelling?) to excess tissue in the vagina (a two hour day surgery which solved the painful problem for my friend.) Tell yourselves to hang in there.... my friend now is incredibly happy with a family.

Acupuncture may be able to help this condition. I know of a number of acupuncturist in town that specialize in women's health.

I would suggest reading a book called, "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause," by Dr. John Lee. It is so helpful with any female specific issue and will more than likely be very helpful to you as well. I'm not saying that you are premonopausal, but I had issues too and the book brought so much clarity and helpful suggestions.

I cant remember what exactly its called, but I do know that it is like an actual disorder or something, like that and that lots of women suffer from this. I would suggest seeing a sexual therapist and they would be able to give you the help you need to be able to physically, and emotionally enjoy the sexual relationship with your husband.

This may not be it but I had very painful intercourse till we figured out I was allergic to Latex and it was the condoms that were causing the pain. Don't know if you have been using condoms at all but if so try switching to a latex free condom and see if that helps.

I just read an article about something similar last month or so in SELF magazine. It turned out the woman had a rare skin disorder that needed the treatment of steroids. Obviously, yours could be anything, but I'd go to your OB/GYN and talk about the issue.

Something simple you might rule out is Bacterial Vaginitis. They can just swab the area to get a culture and look under a microscope and tell if you have it. It's not a sexually transmitted disease, as virgins and single partner couples can get it. But is does cause painful intercourse etc. and can be treated simply with a course of medication. Although if you do have it, your partner likely has it too, and it's smart for both of you to take the meds, so you don't keep passing it to each other. Good luck!

I know this is a problem. I don't want to be the person to say "oh, I saw this on Oprah", but I did-I also read about this on the internet or in a magazine article. I was curious and watched the show. I can't remember if there was medication or a preceedure for this. There is a specialist for this. It's a condition, it's rare but not uncommon. I think there were obgyn's who specialized in this. I wish I could remember what the condition was called. I would search out an obgyn who knows about this. There are doctors who know about this, and will help you solve the problem instead of telling you to use lubricants and different positions. I'm sorry you have this problem.

My guess is that you've been seeing the wrong type of doctor. This is likely an emotional problem. See if your insurance covers some type of therapist. It's worth checking out.

Weel, i hate to tell you this you probably need to be checked endometriosis. I have it we have tryied everything for many years lubricants, different positions ,everything and it even caused to not have a baby until they took it out .The only way to make sure is to have them go in and check in and out and it takes about 1/2 hour to an hour.a couple of day healing and you will see how much more enjoyable sex will be Again but, once you have it it never goes away until you have your women parts tooken out . I'm actually goin in again for the 4 time to get it out ,It's about every to years i have get it out cause its so painful to have sex. your marrieage will be ok i'm going on 10yrs so you guys will be fine,He will have to learn to be soft.

When I was delivering babies, I came across this a lot. It is painful because the vagina canal is too small. What you can do is have your husband wash his hands and open a new bottle of olive oil. Lubricate his hands and go in with the two fore fingers and start at the top and make a U. It has really helped a lot of women. Try to do it at least 3 times a week.