Out of Site but Not Out of Mind

Updated on February 04, 2011
A.J. asks from Little Rock, AR
11 answers

my daughter just turned six months. previously she has been a breeze for my husband and i, great sleeper, great napper, eats good, plays good, ect. after she turned six months she has realized that she has to be able to see mommy at all times. i am a stay at home mom so i am around her a lot. i do work on saturdays every once in a while and she stays with her nan, she does just fine. when mom's at home she screams when i walk away from her for a second. she screams even if i just stand behind her and she can't see me. i can't even go to the bathroom for 5 seconds! i usually leave the door open so she can see me while she plays but she still screams. i try not to hold her too much and we have lots of tummy time and play time, but even if my husband is in the floor with her and she sees me start to walk away she starts to scream.. my question is, is she too young to just let her cry? is this just normal? what do i do about it?

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Just want to say my 6 month old daughter just started the exact same thing. I am glad I can tell my 2 boys to go entertain her for a while if i need to do something most of the time. It makes it extremely hard to get stuff done. I think it will pass quickly though.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

It's only just occuring to her that you two are two different people, not two parts of the same person.

Very normal, she'll adjust and realize that after you pee, you'll be picking her back up again, tehehe.

Hope it's a short phase for you!

:)

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

So very normal. It will pass, and it will get easier I promise. She is just learning that mommy can walk away and that you arent attached lol. She is becoming very aware of her suroundings and sounds like the seperation anxiety is setting in.

Is she breast fed baby? If so she probably just doesnt want to be to far from the snack bar lol.

Not to young to cry for a moment or two, just talk to her while your not in her sight, tell her mommy will be right back, and then re-appear as soon as possible. Show her you will be back.
Because infants minds are still developing they dont know that mommy will be back, all they know is that mommy is gone. It will take time for her to learn. And nothing wrong with giving her a little love when you do come back to the room to her, to show her everything is alright.

Try not to fret, it will be okay, just be patient, and before you know it she wont be doing it anymore, and will be self content.

Best wishes!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

hah! get used to it! My kids still follow me around the house and I can's use the restroom without one of them banging on the door 5 seconds later with a "mom, are you in there?" :) You don't have to not hold her. I love holding my babies, but if you need to put her down- does she have a swing or a bouncy chair to put her in? You can let her cry it out for a little while, but I would make a game of peek a boo with her. Put on some music for her, or jsut continue to talk to her as you walk out of the room. If you are doing chores or dinner, I got a baby frame back pack and put my babies in that. They were comfortable being with me and I had my hands free to do what I needed to. Or try a high chair if you are in the kitchen and give her some kitchen stuff to play with- measuring cups or plastic bottles and bowls. Is she sturdy enough for a exersaucer? (don't know if I spelled that right!) My kids loved those- most of the time they just wanted to be up-right. So maybe if you have something you can put her in where she is up-right instead of lying down all the time it might help.
Also, when you come back in the room, just let her know that she's okay and mommy's back. You can't spoil her at this age- so it's okay to pick her up. Good luck. You will also find, when she gets older, that she will only want to ask you a thousand questions once you answer the phone.
~C.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Don't let her cry. Get a baby carrier to snuggle her to you when you have to do something. They just need lots of love and stuff. I think she is more aware that you and she are not the same person. Also, talk to her about what you're doing. It's good for language development, and it helps them feel like you're paying attention. For stuff like peeing, yes, it's ok for her to be upset for a few minutes while you take care of business. :) But the more loved and secure they feel when they're little, I think the happier they are.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Totally normal.

You're not abandoning her when you go to the bathroom - no need to wear your baby while you go take a pee! That's just gross.

You're not always going to be attached to her 24-7 (and that's a good thing) so use this opportunity to teach her good separation coping skills.

Before going to the bathroom (or taking the load of laundry upstairs, or grabbing a snack, etc.) tell your daughter "Mommy will be right back - see you soon!" and then go. Upon your return, tell her "See, I came back just like I said I would!" Now of course at 6 months old she probably won't understand the words but will begin to understand the action of mommy leaving then mommy returning.

As frustrating as it may be, it is totally normal! Just keep making these little quick mini-trips and she'll learn that, although you leave you do come back and soon she'll be fine with it.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

As long as you have met her every need, she can cry until you finish peeing...Just think if you really had diarrhea and it was you alone, which would you choose, her crying while she sees you or you messing up the entire floor..

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

She is normal, developmentally.
Babies do this.
From about 6 months old, per our Pediatrician, babies can get 'separation anxiety" and "object permanence" concepts pop up at this time as well.

It is a phase.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Do not let her cry. Get a snuggly or a baby backpack and keep her with you until this stage has passed usually around 9 months of age. She's doing the normal psychological development for a baby this age.
In childrearing one has to remember the stages of development each and every child must pass through to grow up healthy and strong.
You are doing a good job if she's at this point now. Absolutely on target.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Its a phase. Its normal. Its her first test in 'playing you'

When you have to walk away from her, out of sight. Talk to her or leave a kids music CD playing so that she'll hear something. Its okay for her to cry it out, even tho its hard to hear.

One thing that I used to do was have an umbrella strolller in the house and then i'd wheel her around if I couldn't hold her.

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Both of my kids went through this phase. You're her 'safe zone'. You're with her most often. At this age until about 18mos old, our son cried when we left him with grandma. Out of the blue, he figured out that we'll be back to get him and just started to say, 'ok, bye. See you later.'

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