Today my son came home from school with a note saying he was kicked in his stomach by another boy in his class. They sent him to nurse for an icepack. My son told me that it is "dangerous" to sit by this boy. He tells me that he" out of control" often. When he has a fit, my son told me the rest of the class goes to the lunch room for an activity. My son is in a self contained LD class with eight other boys. I feel bad that he thinks he is in danger because he sits by this child. I feel like I want to call the teacher to tell her I do not want my son sitting by this other child. It sounds as though my son get caught in the middle of this child's tantrum. I find this very upsetting. What would you do in this situation?
I would do just that call the teacher and tell her you don't want him sitting by him. I had to do that last year for my son and unfortunately we lived next door the this boy.
Talk to your attorney and find out what your rights are in this situation. Most schools have a zero tolerance policy now. Of course it has to be taken into consideration that this child is not like other children and his disabilities can't be held against him.
I have worked in the field for over 10 years with both adults and children. The children in this class are all learning disabled? They're not mainstreamed? If this child is so seriously disabled that he is hurting other children then the school system should supply a full time aide specifically for him , who's job responsibility it is to keep him contained when he is acting out. Your child has rights and if you tell the school that if your child is injured again you'll be talking to your lawyer then they might go ahead and take care of the problem.
It is terrible when it comes to legal action but often it is what it takes to get someone out of their comfort zone and make then to do what is right.
If the children are being led to a different room while this kid has his "tantrums", could it be that this child is shizophrenic? He probably could not help himself. These aren't just tantrums. THey are violent episodes that hurt themselves and others around them. This other child sounds like he has some severe mental incapacities.
Talk to the teacher first. Have her put your child in a different seat. Also this other child should have a 1 on 1 aide assigned to him only.
If your child has not been singled out as this other's target than it is not bullying. Every child has a right to an education, even those with severe defficiencies. It sounds like the teachers are aware already as they lead the others out of the room during a psychotic meltdown. .
YES you tell the teacher and if not, the Principal.
MOST schools have a "no bullying" policy.
This is a dangerous situation... your son should not have to suffer for it or the schools lack of handling it PROPERLY.
YOU request that your son NOT be placed nor have to sit, next to this child.
Put it IN writing. DOCUMENT this incident and others, and your letter and follow-up. Request a follow-up to this, and for the school/Teacher to inform you of what will be done.
Now, sometimes the school's hands are tied... because the child has a "problem" and the school can be accused of "discriminating" or picking on a child... even though that child is a bully or has problems which hurts other kids. And parents can be litigious.
BUT, you must handle it and do something about it, for your son. Your son is already scared of the situation, and he WAS kicked in the stomach. This is not 'normal' kid issues. That other kid is dangerous.
You tell the school/Teacher/Principal. Do NOT be scared to advocate for the safety and well-being of your child. Would you want your son to get attacked again? What then? This is not about being "polite" and sucking it up or your son having to "ignore" it. This is a real time bomb ticking. AND other kids may get hurt too, or worse.
My daughter got pushed once, by a kid. I stopped it... I talked to the Teacher and Principal. This kid had a "history" of bullying. I requested that my girl NOT be placed in the same class as that bully the next year... and until then, they HAD to reprimand that child. They did. They put the kid in counseling and had a conference with that kids' parents. Again, this kid had a HISTORY of bullying and hurting other kids. My daughter's Teacher, actually THANKED me for saying something.. because they NEEDED proof & a formal complaint, that this kid was a problem and continual instigator... therefore, they could have the kid and their parents called in for a meeting and took care of it.
All the best,
Susan
I would definitely let the teacher know that your son said the other boy is dangerous. Does your son say he feels scared and doesn't want to sit by the other boy? If so, share that with the teacher. I would ask the teacher what kind of solutions or strategies she (or the school) is looking at regarding the out-of-control behavior. They should have some kind of plan, although they might not have the necessary resources. They might not really be able to discuss things with you, but they should be able to give you an idea of what they're doing to make your child feel safe and that he's able to learn in that environment. I'm sure it's a tough situation for everybody involved.
Yes, you should call the the teacher at the very least or call the Principal and schedule a meeting.
In my daughter's 3rd grade class, there is a girl, who throws violent tantrums. She does have her own aid. I spoke to the teacher about it because my daughter didn't want to go to school (this was at the beginning of the year) and that everyone in class was afraid of this girl. She would get very violent and scream at the top of her lungs. When this happened, the teacher would call the Principal's office over the intercomm and use a coded phrase. The aid would lead the other children out of the classroom to the library. In the classroom, the teacher and another trained professional would do what is called a "controlled takedown" of the violent child. They go through massive training to be able to do this. This normally would stop the tantrum, but the girl's parents would be called and she would go home for the day.
Document everything! Several parents and I sent emails to the teacher and the Principal documenting our concern over this child and that our children were suffering (grades-wise and emotionally). We received answers back and explanations of what was going on (as much as they could, without naming names).
I'm happy to say that the child received a different aid, who was better equipped to not only forsee a tantrum coming, but was better able to prevent one. The aid documents everything and sends a report home daily to the parents of the troubled girl. The girl has been much better behaved in class and a lot less disruptive.
I don't think we would have gotten to this place as fast (1st quarter of the school year) without some of the parents voicing their concern.
Speak up! You're the best advocate for your child. Good luck and let us know what happens.
I would just let the teacher know your wishes. The boy may have a condition like ADHD that hinders his ability to control his body. Keep in mind, too, that the other parents have been informed of the situation and are likely doing all they can to put an end to it.
ETA: My son is not psychotic, but when his ADHD medication wasn't right earlier in the school year in 1st grade, he punched one of his friends in the stomach. He thought he was just playing but took it a step too far. He's not a bully, but we took it quite seriously. When we adjusted the medication, he regained control of his body. The fact that your son is in a LD class signals to me a high probability that this boy is dealing with another condition (it's extremely common for kids with ADHD to have other issues). Also, keep in mind that this is first grade and these are still young kids and the likelihood of bullying is low.
My principal growing up would tell our parents, "If you promise not to believe everything your kid tells you about what goes on at school, we promise not to believe everything they tell us about what goes on at home."
With that being said, I am sure the teacher would want to hear your sons thoughts on what is going on in the classroom... through a child's perspective. So I would go ahead and call the teacher. Chances are, she won't be able to talk to you specifically about the other student but will reassure you that your child is not in danger. This will also let the teacher know you are keeping an eye on what is going on and she might do a better job of making sure your child is no longer kicked in the stomach... or worse!
