Opinions Wanted on Home-schooling

S.,

What are you actually telling your daughter? Because things are not going her way or she is having some difficulty in social situations that it is okay to run away and hide? Come on! PLEASE do not teach your daughter a victim mentality.

No, you did not specify what kind of social problems that she has, and I can only imagine (boy trouble, not being part of the right crown, other girls wanting to fight her, peer pressure, etc), but what tools are you providing her to survive as an adult?

Have you ever thought that it is some of the pressures of her social problems that cause her to excell with her grades? We are ALL going to have problems with others. If it is a problem where others are involved, you should be teaching your daughter how to handle such problems properly -- otherwise if she ever gets into a situation where she is a victim of domestic violence (there is more to it than just hitting) then she will have the tools to know how to get out and the strength to reach out to others that are there to help her.

I think, without knowing the specifics, you are allowing your daughter the easy way out. Being a female in his millenium
you have to know how to stand on your feet and handle the situation.......not run and hide. Not every situation will come out the way it "should" but each test is there to challenge us (women) to move on and take control of our own lives.

I am very happy for you that your daughter is a straight A student, and being in the Texas school system, that actually means something (my son will have to attend school in Louisiana when he is old enough -- not a good thing)

As a parent, you should always have an active part in your child's schooling, but are you qualified to teach your daughter what is necessary for her to be accepted and excell in college, earn a schollarship maybe (please, no offense)? Teaching is not easy, especially when you are not trained for the job.

I tell you these things in the hope that you will seriously think about other issues that maybe you have not considered.
You have the decision, but please consider ALL factors. If school is THAT bad, then what is going to happen when the same things happen to her in college? Are you able to home school her then? Don't put yourself and your daughter in a position where you have painted yourself in a corner.

I am not necessairly saying that home schooling is wrong, I just urge you to consider ALL factors and how you are training your daughter to handle social situation that will be the foundation for her future as an adult and a base for her self-esteem with the social aspect.

S.

We have been homeschooling for 5+ years and just love it. I has been the best thing we have ever done for our children and our family. I would say to start with reading a book or two "The Way They Learn" by Tobias and "Reaping the Harvest" by Diana Waring are two good ones to start with. Then, if you have a local group of homeschoolers, talk to them about getting started, etc. There are alot of curriculum choices (it is overwhelming), so finding your child's learning style (the books will help) is helpful and saves alot of money. My kids are better socially without the social pressure of a school setting. They relate well to peers, as well as older and younger people. I'd be happy to answer any of your questions.

Blessings!
K.

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my advice would be to try magnet or alternative schools in your area. the two cases of girls i knew in middle school, who went to homeschooling programs in high school, ended up disasters, i won't say exactly how, for fear of disturbing descency rules of the community. suffice it to say neither girl was a pretty sight at age 18 or even 25. all that high school rebellion let loose while they were completely out of their parents' control. maybe you know your girl and maybe that's "not her", but she still needs to know how to function in a normal environment, and if anything i would suggest extra reading at home to supplement her education along with finding a school that can do something for her academically and socially.

Hey there, I know my reply is late from the original post, but I just found out about this site. It is awesome. Just wanted to let you know that I understand your situation. My son goes to a private school for children that learn differently. BUT we do have several children that are extremely intelligent but suffer from social disorders or have difficult in social situations. I am considering and PRAYING HARD about opening my own small homeschool using the ACE cirriculum. I am in college to be a certified teacher :-)
anyway just wanted to let you know.. email me if you want to talk about the school that my son goes too. thanks T.

I have been home schooling my 2 children for 3 years now, and this fall I am sending them to school. Our family is just ready to try it out. I think we just need a change of pace and more structure than we have had. We are going to try it out and just see what it is like. If they like it as much as I think they will, they will continue to go to school. If they get picked on socially, or have major academic problems, then we will return to home schooling. My daughter has had no problems with socialization and home schooling. We stay active in sports and in church and she has met many friends. My son has had more of a problem. He is younger and more shy and prefers to make friends one on one versus a group setting. You have to figure out what works best for you, but it is easy to meet others through home school groups, church, and sporting activities.

For us the pro's of home school are: 1. Teaching the kids about God, without any negative peer pressure. 2. Having a close knit family, and having siblings that are best friends (even though they would never admit it, hehe). 3. Learning many life experiences that can't be learned from books. 3. A flexible schedule, my husband doesn't have Saturday's off, he usually has a Tuesday or Wednesday off, and we can plan our schedule accordingly. 3. Being with the kids and getting to see them grow up, and not missing all of the cute things they do and say.

The con's for us are: 1. Staying organized and on task. It takes a lot of organization and a lot of self discipline to home school. This has been most difficult for me. 2. Family pressure. My family is against home schooling and it has caused me to lose relationships. 3. Saying "no" to family and friends. We are constantly asked to do things or favors for everyone because they think we are the least busy because we are home. 4. Being with your kids 24/7. I LOVE my children, but we don't have babysitters, so I am always with them. My husband works a lot of overtime in the spring and summer months, and it gets hard doing all of the work solo. I have chosen this and I love it, but I sometimes wish I had some "me" time.

I don't know if this has helped you much, but I hope it has. It is wonderful that in Arkansas we have so much freedom when it comes to home school. I don't know where you live, but there is an organization called Home Ed, you can look it up online at http://www.homeedonline.com/ it is a wonderful program that has many educational events, field trips and play times. I highly recommend it. You can look at the site and find out if your city is included.

I worry that my kids will suffer the same problems that your daughter has, and if they do, I will continue home schooling. I wish you and your daughter well, and hope your family does well with whatever choice you decide to make.

I am 23 now and I was home-schooled until the 8th grade and I am still not social and I would really like to be but I am not sure I really no how. I feel that being homeschooled for so long only con tributed to me being antisocial! I really wish that I knew how to make friends, but I never learned

Hi S.,
I don't know anything about homeschooling. But I do know alot about being socially challanged. If your child is having a hard time identifying with other kids her age, my thought is that homeshooling will not help her. 13 is a volitile year for everyone as far as Im concerned, lol but its also that time in a child's life where they are trying to find their place in society (school) If you take her out of school, even though shes having a hard time now, she may not learn the necessary skills that she needs to function later on, say in college. I would say that if she hadn't any social problems, go ahead, but it is my experienced opinion that if you want your child to have a chance at learning how to deal with her peers, I would not suggest taking her out of school.
If the social situation at school does not improve, try taking her to a counselor to help her figure out why. The old excuses that say "My child is too: pretty, smart, etc. is way over used and those excuses are usually not the case. (Ive heard alot of excuses as to why I was one of the most unpopular girls in jr. high, I attribute it to my inability to connect with other girls my own age.) Give her the rest of the year, take her to therapy this summer and by high school, she may well find a new place to belong, socially. Great job on the A's though, keep up the good work. (high school was sooo much better)

Homeschooling can be wonderful. I was homeschooled K-12 and would not have changed a thing. I had so many wonderful experiences because of it. This being said, my brother and sister went to school off and on, and loved it. I also had friends who grew up in public school and had wonderful experiences there and have turned into ecxeptional adults with high moral standards. I think either way you can make it what you want. I would say that if you do homeschool, to be certain your daughter has activities outside the home, this will encourage her to work on her social skills, without being overwhelmed by the all day, everyday pressures of school. If you would like more advice, please let me know, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. I have worked as a nanny for homeschooled families and my mother was the director of the homeschool orginization we were part of, so I have seen quite a bit of the right, and the wrong, way to do things. Good luck and God bless you!

Boy i know how you feel. my daughter is 10 and a straight a student. she is a wonderful little girl but had problems socially in her school. she is a christian and i guess just did not fit in because she did what was right. she stood up for God and for what it means to be a christian. She would come home from school crying cause no one would play with her. and one day she stood up for another little girl and got slapped in the face. this has gone on for about 3 years and i finally said enough! I put in my 14 day notice at the school and i just took her out a week ago and started homeschooling her. She seems very happy about it and i think homeschooling is better because this sorta thing tears down there self esteem. everyone talks about homeschooling not being good socially but from my point of view its better than going to a public school and being hurt emotionally everyday. Besides its not like they are never around any other kids. we go to church with other kids and we joined a homeschool group that goes on field trips so i think homeschooled kids are not socially neglected for the most part like a lot of people think if the parents do there part. we are have bible a class everyday also. I am sorry your daughter is having this problem but homeschooling may be better for her especially if its really effecting her. If you do decide to homeschool and have any questions or need any help let me know.

Hi
I am a homeschooling Mom of 5. Depending on where you live you can enroll your child in internet "public" school, which I am doing next year. If you think your child isn't comfortable, or would do better in homeschool, then I say go for it! If it doesnt work, you can always go back to public school the next semester, or the next year. The only thing about homeschooling that has concerned me (my kids have NEVER been to public school) is the socilization, which is an not really an obstacle if you go to church, go over to visit friends or family, etc. I would definitely say give it a try if you and your daughter feel it would be better.

I was homeschooled through highschool and I turned out ok. The important part is to keep some sort of socialization with her. If she is in some kind of sport (gymnastics, swimming, Dance) it would be a good contact. It is also a big plus if you are involved in a church where there are a lot of kids her age.
There are a few drawbacks. You lose your freedom (if you are a stay-at-home mom) to do a lot of things you are used to doing during school hours. There are a lot of positives though. You have the freedom to take vacations during school days (just switch schedules) to take cheaper vacations. If you have to travel for doctors and funerals, or any thing like that, you don't miss school, just take it with you.
My daughter is homeschooled now and loves it! I would recommend it to anyone who feels that a public school environment is not the best. (By the way, a magnet school or Christian School may not be the best answer in your child's case. If friendships are the problem, they may continue to be a problem there.)
The most important advice that I can give you is to avoid isolating your child. It can only make it worse. The traditional public school environment is hard on kids that age. And while isolating her wouldn't help, socialization in other areas (outside of school) will be a better avenue of making friends! If you have anyquestions about our curriculum, schedule or Arkansas Homeschool rules, let me know!
V.