One of Those days...Child with Possible ADHD and a Sensory Processing Disorder..

Just to get this out of the way first... if "it's" (aka behavioral/cognitive/or emotional problems) caused by:
- Parenting
- Diet / Malnutrition
- Sleep
- Allergies
- Sensitivites
- Medication
- Injury
- Disease
- Etc.

It's NOT ADHD. Those are all differentials. If it's cause by x, then it's x (example; malnutrition then malnurished, lack of sleep then sleep deprivation; etc.). It's a pain in the tucus thing. Sort of like a tumor mistaken for pregnancy. If there's a tumor, and not a baby, then you were never pregnant. That's the frustration those of us with ADHD, or have kids with ADHD, or both feel when we hear people say "My niece/brother/neighbor/uncle/whomever had ADHD until _______." or "My ______'s ADHD was CURED with ________." It's exactly like, as a mother, having someone tell you they were pregnant until the tumor was removed. Or, you know.... you don't have to go through all the pregnancy symptoms! Just get the tumor removed! ((Sounds daft, right?)). No baby, not pregnant. So all the 'advice' is worthless when it's a completely different thing.
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So THAT out oif the way :) :) :)

I homeschool my ADHD 9yo, and have for 4 years.

There just ARE days like those. The days where nothing happens. The days where everything is at a snail's pace. The meltdown days. The goofy-goofy-I'm goting CRAZY-goofy goofy goofy- Aaaaargh! days. The longing for the yellow bus days. The 'What am I doing wrong?!?!?" days. The wanna go back to bed days. The crosseyed days. The "This worked YESTERDAY!" days. The self doubt days. The defensive days.

Upside? They're fairly rare. Sure, it might be every day for a week (head to drywall repeat), and then the next week you surface on friday and realize you've gotten through a month's worth of stuff in 5 days.

Something to remember? These days happen in awayschool, too. Ask any teacher. No kid is on the ball every day. Some days NO kid is on the ball.

Another thing to remember? Happens with neurotypical kids, too. Every homeschooler I know has these days. Every awayschool teacher I know has these days.

We all learn different ways of dealing with them. Myself, I've found that scrapping school that day will instantly guarantee that it's a one day thing IF that (honestly, the days we cancel 'school' often end up being incrediably academic, just in a way I hadn't planned out.

There's a lot of pressure with HS'ing. Not just for 'perfect'... but in a classroom, kids can HAVE an off day, and not have the spotlight on them (well, my son was a class clown, his off days he pointed the spotlight on himself). When it's 1:1... every little thing can become a HUGE thing. And that first year HS'ing? OMG. The pressure of expectations. Oy. That wears off, fortunately. Unfortunately, the only cure is time. Time to build confidence in yourself. Time to relax. Time for proof in the pudding. Time to develop 'We're scrapping school today!' (or whatever your method of dealing with eyecrossing days. Another thing I've found works well with us are fieldtrips. Or taking our stuff to the park. Or, or, or. Really. There are DOZENS of ways to deal with the off days).

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My condolences. Limbo-land is the single most difficult place for ME to be. It doesn't matter what it is, when all the balls are in the air, and I don't know which way they're going to fall... the stress is incrediable. Once they fall, I can deal... it's the WAITING that drives me mad, to distraction, to tears, to plauging self doubt, to researching dozens of what ifs and maybes, to total immobility. Ugh. HATE Limbo-land.

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GREAT resources for you:

www.additudemag.com
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ (most adhd kids are gifted, just like most adhd kids have 'sensory schtuff'... it;s part and parcel with brains that process and store information differently)
yahoo groups... lots and lots and lots of homeschooling boards there :)

If it is diet related - it's NOT Adhd. My son HAS ADHD, was diagnosed thru proper channels at 4. If you think your child may be dealing with Adhd, SID, ODD or any other disorder avail you need to begin the official diagnosis, heck if other people think he has it (therepist) you should begin to rule it out officially. You will get NO WHERE with your child if you do not KNOW what you are working with. I can not teach my child, I CAN parent him though. He goes to a prek (5 now) full of studends just like him in a school where the teachers did a WONDERFUL job taking him from unable to comprehend school and what was expected of him and needing all the therepy he can get to a general education classroom with accomodations. I can only say this because we found out what we were dealing with and made a real game plan. Honestly, on "days" like this since you are Teacher and Mother you need to decide when to stop being Teacher and when to be Mother to handle the situations. I wish you well - start with your pedi - get an official diagnosis.

I would just turn the material that you want to teach into a fun art and craft day. Most kids like to draw and paint or connect dots or paint by number. Let your child help cook meals by measuring an stirring or pouring into a dish. My twins were diagnosed with ADHD. When I kept their hands busy their minds calmed down. If your child does not like arts and crafts then take the learning experiences outside. Count bugs for math. Pick leaves off of trees and use them a stencil to paint a picture. Collect rocks to paint. Teach mixing colors by actually mixing the colors to use. My friend home schooled her kids with a method called "unschooled". Her name is Jan Verhoeff. She teaches this method. If you google her name you will find several pages of contacts for her. Google "The Animal School" for a fable about teaching methods. I am sure that you are doing a great job with your son. If he takes an active role in guiding his education then he will be more interested in it on his off days. Who says that being structured has to be your mode of teaching.

I think you need to take him to see a neurodevelopmental pediatrician. Has his therapist ever suggested this? He is old enough where if he gets a diagnosis, it will be accurate. However, with the proper treatment he will certainly improve. Did he not have an IEP from his school? If he was doing poorly at his school, why aren't you pursueing sending him out of district? If he does have a diagnosis then you can get him the help he needs. You are his mom and you have an important job. Let the right therapists do their jobs as well.

Good morning. I have read all of the below responses and have nothing additional to add. I do want to respond however as I know that, as a parent with a child with possible ADHD/PDD/etc, some days or even weeks are great and then one day is just B-A-D!!!!!! You sound like you are doing everything possible for your child - great job (insert clapping hands)!!! Best of luck to your family!

Big hugs mama! Your son sounds a LOT like my son, and it sounds like you are doing so much for him already. My son is also 6 years old but was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old. He takes medication which helps him feel more in control of himself (he says it "quiets my body and my mind while I'm making choices.") but he still REALLY struggles with social interaction and resisting change etc.

We are now in the middle of a new evaluation that will more than likely end with a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome (psychologist said at his last session "I think we're there.")

Just so you know, there is a HUGE overlap between ADHD and Aspergers (which is ON the Autism spectrum but is NOT the same as "high functioning autism.") The sensory processing issues and inflexibility COULD be a sign that there is something more going on with your little guy.

Try to take a breath and remember that you are a FANTASTIC mommy who is already doing SO much for your son. It is okay to have a bad day.

One thing I have read and found helpful to realize is that with these little guys they often don't HAVE the impulse control to resist their behaviors even with the threat of a consequence looming over them. So no matter how consistent we are it just isn't the way their little brains reason and it isn't often enough to stop them in the moment.

He may do better with incentives for "good" choices instead of consequences for bad ones. For my son, we have a dry erase chart with 200 grid boxes. He gets a check mark for jobs, trying something new, being a good sport, being flexible, practicing his task from social skills group etc. He needs 5 checkmarks for the day BEFORE he can have any screen time (this works SO much better than taking screentime AWAY as a consequence for NOT doing things). He also has bigger things he's saving up for 50 checks for a beyblade, 100 checks for the power rangers sward thing etc.

If your little guy likes lists, this might be helpful. He has his menu of prizes written on the side, so he constantly checks his progress toward what he's working on.

Hope this helps. You're already doing a great job. (sorry this came out so long)

T.

Have you considered taking him to a psychologist or psychiatrist for an official diagnosis? It seems like therapy without actually knowing what you are trying to help is putting the cart before the horse.

Other than almost everyone I am related to having some form of spectrum disorders going from ADD to PDD I am not an expert. What I do know is one of my four is about to graduate with a 3.9 from Xavier without any meds since she was in fifth grade.

To me ADD is very manageable. If he has ADHD diet isn't going to do squat. I have done it all, sans coffee nothing changes anything.

So far as sensory goes your therapist could be pushing that because that is what they do. What I know from experience is there is sensory things that are calming but I don't believe that by proxy that means there is a sensory processing issue. Not sure if that makes sense.

I think better if I am running my thumb along my fingers. If I am stressed I must press against pillows or my husband. I would think anyone has things like that, so to me these are not sensory processing issues. I could be wrong. My younger son has sensory issues, they are constant, apply A and B must happen for him to calm down. For me you apply A and most times it doesn't effect me at all. Apply C, D and F at the same time and B must happen.

That probably still doesn't make sense, sorry about that.

Find a doctor, not a therapist, go from there.

I have sensory integration dysfunction. Everybody has a touch of sensory issues. Yet, if the sensory gets in the way of daily life activities--it is time for an evaluation. Take your child to see an Occupational therapist ASAP.
Going to OT sessions will do a world of good. The best book: "The Out of Sync Child."

Sensory and ADD or ADHD can overlap. Many kids have both. When I was a kid--sensory was unheard of.

ADHD can be caused by a lack of sleep. So, you are right there - it has been over diagnosed ! Is he sleeping well?

But, an evaluation by a nueropyschologist is the proper way to have someone tested for ADHD.

The Feingold diet is good one ! And it sounds as if you are on track with that. Have you had him tested for food allergies?

Public schools should have a team--a social worker, OT, etc... to help.