Okay, So Do All 5Th Graders "Hate" School???

my sons both loved school at that age.

Find something that she loves & try to incorporate it into her life. It can be a part of her school day....or a reward for doing well.

& I guess the next question would be: how much of this is hormones? & how long is the withdrawal period for the meds? Sometimes it takes months to stabilize after stopping.....

Is there a reason you took her off the meds? I used to teach 4th and 5th grade (reading and English). One of my students struggled in 4th grade. I don't know about hated school, but didn't like the academic part. She was diagnosed with ADD and went on it over the summer. I had the same student in my 5th grade class and she was one of my top students. She was a totally different student-loved school.
Another reason may be social. If they have been with the same kids since third grade, there may be MORE cliques than before. I've taught at both small and large schools, private and public, and I've found that the private small schools are tougher socially on the kids.

Dunno. I loved it until 8th grade when I moved from TX to a school in LA where I didn't know anyone, the culture was way different, and I missed my friends and teams. My bff's son is in 4th grade, used to hate school (same school I hated, lol), but now that he's moved from LA to TX, he LOVES school. Feeling like you fit in or not is a big part of feeling comfortable, so yeah that could be part of it (the language/culture thing). On the other hand, part of what might be "hard" for her is the change she's feeling being off her meds. I understand concerns of appetite and depression on those things, but talk to her doctor about it.

No, not all kids dislike school. Some are very adaptable to the challenges, rules and scheduling, homework, and testing in schools. Those "natural academics" tend to do well and like what they're doing.

There are the extremely social kids who so enjoy hanging out with friends that school is not too onerous. They encourage and complain to each other, and it all works out pretty well.

But there are plenty of kids for whom either the academics are too challenging or not relevant enough, or for whom social intricacies become baffling or discouraging. It's hard to know what your daughter's real problems are until you draw her out.

I hope you'll get a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. The book will coach you in exactly how to draw your daughter out and help her feel respectfully supported. And though we don't usually think about young children in these terms. they can be creative problem solvers. If your daughter is involved in finding solutions to her dilemmas, she will be more invested in making them work. And you'll be helping her develop some fantastic life skills that will serve her well. This book is a gem.

Are you considering putting her back on the medicine? You do know she will never out grow being ADD?

My husband is ADHD and he has some coping skills, but it never goes away and takes lots of energy in new situations.. As he gets older it gets worse. Schedules are the worst for him..

So changes and new routines, new room, new teachers are their own obstacle, but then learning all new material must be stressful for her.

Just think about what she needs to help her function on an even level with everyone else.

Give it some time mama. She's not her meds and has a lot she is dealing with right now. To her, the world is a bit upside down right now. The language barrier may not be helping, but it sounds like she is probably used to this after being in the system for a few years. As a teacher, I have seen lots of kids that need a little time to transition from summer break back into school. I also know that I always tried to start off tougher, meaner and more strict than I really am, to set a classroom precedent. This is a trick used by many teachers. Give her some time to adjust and then reevaluate her situation.

No, they don't all hate school, but I think you should give it time before you worry about it. It's only the third day.

Just a thought..could she have someone teasing her or making her feel uncomfortable and she's just saying the excuse of "it's hard"? The first couple weeks are little more than review of what they did last year and introducing them to what's to come in the class typically.
I would maybe stear the conversation to are you meeting any new friends in class etc, the social aspect of things, and see if anything comes up.
I could be wrong but it can't hurt to look at.

Are you sure it's not a social thing? Just because she's been with the same kids for a few years doesn't mean issues aren't going to happen. 5th grade is so tough on girls. Some are in full on puberty and boy crazy and some are still so much just content with being a kid, playing with dolls, etc. Many are facebooking and texting, into expensive brand name clothes and shoes and some are looking down on those not participating in these more pre-teen activities. Girls who have been BFFs since preschool can become total strangers when suddenly they find themselves with little in common. Friendships dissolve and new ones form. Girls feel pressure to have a best friend, and can feel incredibly lonely if they do not. Even if they are generally well liked. Another thing I would wonder about is if she is comfortable with her teacher. Did they get off on the wrong foot? Did she get sharply reprimanded for something and having a hard time getting over it? If it really is something in the work she thinks is "too hard" I would keep pursuing that until you find out more specifically what she is struggling with, set up a meeting and talk to her teacher about it.

Why couldn't it be a social thing?

When I was in fifth grade kids started turning "mean"- I mean the same kids who were my friends just a year earlier started picking on other kids and a whole new nastiness came out in the girls. It was really my first dose of the treachery of middle school.

I think it is hormone, i don't know. I also cam home "hating" school. My mom basically told me to work hard and get over it (not to be mean, but she didn't see the problem). Later in the year I started to get prank phone calls from other kids (my mom answered one where after she picked up a girl screamed "lesbian" into the phone!) After that she really had a discussion with the teachers and discovered that there was a lot more to what was going on at school.

Anyways... I definitely wouldn't overlook the possiblity. It might be that the work is too challenging, or hasn't "clicked" yet, it might be a language barrier, or it might be social. Maybe discussing all the events of your daughters day with her each day after school and helping her with her work might help, at least it may give you a clue about what is going on that makes her "hate it".

Good Luck
-M.

i think given the situation you describe that she's in, it's not surprising. my son is 4 and tells me every day how much he doesn't want to go to school...then once he is there he has a blast. i'm sure she's exaggerating a bit...but it doesn't sound like a super easy year for her, so it might take more patience and help on your part. good luck!

I understand why you took her off the meds, but why didn't you try another one? Of course you don't want her to be depressed, but dealing with ADD without meds isn't a better choice. It probably IS harder for her, can you imagine hearing everything at once, not being able to filter out background noises, or being unable to focus on your work? Those are all things my son deals with when off his meds. I would suggest you try a different ADD med if she doesn't improve.
Not all 5th graders hate school, none of mine did. But there are so many things that factor in to that. I hope things get better for her.