I was surprised to see in the answers in a previous question that many people found words such as "nuts", "butt" and "stupid" objectionable, rude or crass. Honestly, I've never heard this before. We normally use the word butt, short for buttocks. My kids might "shake their butts on the dance floor", or "slip on the ice and land on their butt". I may ask them to stop being a "pain in the butt", tell them to "sit on your butt". I would feel silly saying buttocks. I wouldn't expect my kids to use babyish words like "tushy" either. What words do you use, and in what way are those words less offensive? My boys know that they have testicles, but will use "nuts" or "balls" causally. They love to watch America's Funniest Videos, and always groan, and say something like "owe, right in the nuts" when some poor, unsuspecting guy gets it in the "jewels". I would rather hear that than "testicles". To me these names are no different that calling the stomach a tummy. They do know the proper names, but I would find it strange to use clinical terms with friends and family. They know which words to use with a friend as opposed to with a teacher. Stupid I can understand being objectionable if used in a mean, hurtful way, like "you are stupid", but not if used like "that movie was stupid". I would rather my kids know the difference rather than ban the word. What other words do you find objectionable, and why?
My kids have been in school for some time now. They are going into grades 2 and 5. As I said, they are aware of what is appropriate language to use with family and peers, as opposed to appropriate language to use at school, just as I know what is apprpriate to use at work, as opposed to hanging out with my friends. I think it is more important to learn the appropriate time and place for language. They also know the difference between words and actions. It is aprropriate to say "he got kicked in the nuts", but not appropriate to threaten to kick someone in the nuts. My kids also read "Captain Underpants" at school. There is one titled "The Day My Butt Went Psycho". Maybe it is a regional thing...
Butt and balls (oh my!) I really don't find objectionable. But I HATE the word nuts, especially coming out of a kid's mouth. I don't know why I find it so gross, I just do! My husband and son never say it, so maybe it's a regional thing?
ETA: oh, and we tend to use the term rear, or rear end, more than butt, it just seems a little classier :)
I totally agree with you...but if some kid came to my house and started to say ' I'm going to kick you in the nuts' I would not allow that. I know...it's typical boy behavior,..but I don't like it. Not the word butt or nuts...because we use them too...it's the context.
Fart - when I was growing up, my mom considered it "the f-word" and still hates it. I think it is crass, but not naughty. In our house we say "fluff" or "toot"
for butt - tush, kiester, rear, bottom, tail are all acceptable
My kids (oldest is 5 1/2) haven't hear the terms "balls" OR "nuts" yet, and I am not in any hurry for them to start hearing them. I remember when we were growing up our next door neighbors (2 boys, 3 and 7 years older than I was) would always say them, and I always recall thinking they were such crude boys :) For some reason we always said "he got kicked where it counts" which, now, I find to be kinda a funny way for a 7 year old to refer to it. With my kids we say, "in his privates" or "in the groin/crotch"
"shut up" or "shut your mouth" are not tolerated - they can say, "be quiet," or "Silence, please" or some other variation that isn't as harsh as the "shut it" variety
ETA: this is in addition to knowing the anatomically correct names
I have daughters and we banned stupid, butt, fart, etc. because it just seems weird to have an angelic 3 year old telling someone that something is stupid. Same with nuts, etc. - it's crass. Maybe it goes back to children being old enough to understand what language is appropriate. A child under 7 isn't going to know that it might seem tacky to tell their teacher that a book is stupid, etc. This was our reasoning. For us, it was part of teaching our children to behave politely and respectfully.
Once your children are in school, they will be expected to use tasteful language.
"Please sit on your bottom."
"I am sorry Johnny kicked you in your privates.. Or Testicles."
Stupid is considered unacceptable. It is not allowed at school. No one and nothing is "stupid" at school.
Just consider their future. I would never use the word Butt, Stupid and nuts . in a professional setting and so this language is not appropriate really anywhere.
Always try to stay above the poor use of language with your children and they are least likely to say things that will not be appropriate in public.
Since you are asking: do I find it objectionable? no.
Is it easy for people to find that language rather ignorant-sounding? Yes.
We use 'bottom', 'tush', 'crotch' and proper names for genitals.
I'm in agreement with Laurie A.-- I teach my son the language I would prefer him to use when he's out, no matter who he is out with. "Butt" isn't a huge offender, but given that many other families would prefer their children not to hear it, by not using it myself (other than describing an object being sat on it's 'butt end' or a goat 'butting' another one), this makes it easier for him to go about his world without other parents wondering if he's going to be a good influence on their kid.
We do rarely use the word stupid, and then it's for impact (meaning 'thoughtless', never as a name). For instance, the guy riding his skateboard down a busy street in traffic? He's doing something pretty stupid. Sometimes, it's helpful to have that word handy, esp. as we try very hard not to swear around our son.
The only word in that list that I cringe at and ask my kids not to say (especially when talking about a person) is stupid....it's just not a 'nice' word, IMO.
I have a house full of boys and have no problem with 'nuts' or 'balls'.
The only other word that I can think of that I have asked my kids not to use is 'idiot'....that is also what I consider not a 'nice' word, ya know?
We don't use the word "butt". I don't know why, but we don't. Just never have. We have always said "your behind". You can say it normally, "behind" or with emphasis, "Bee-hind". I don't really know why we use that, but it is what it is.
And honestly, the word "butt" isn't crass, but the sentences it is usually heard in, tend to be more so than if other words are substituted.... so there is some "context" involved in it for me. Generally speaking though, we don't use any of them all that much. We never "kick your butt" or "sit your butt on the sofa" or anything like that. Just isn't the way we communicate in our house, I guess. But those are the types of phraseology (?) I tend to hear "butt" used in most frequently by other people.
When potty training, I told my kids to be sure their behind was clean. Not, "be sure your butt is clean". It just sounds different to me.
And "stupid" has been a not allowed word since the get-go with our kids. Although my kids have heard me call other drivers on the road doing brainless things "idiot" a few times, I don't call them stupid.
I don't think we are snobby, but I do think that words can elevate conversations or lower them. And the more you use certain kinds of words, the less impact they have.
Well, I am not big on giving words power so a lot of words are acceptable in my home. Use them improperly you will have a better chance of getting a lecture than the actual word.
Context is very important as well. If my kids want to drop the f bomb like I do I have no problem with it but use it in anger you will get the wrath of god from me.
Perhaps I am strange, oh heck, I know I am strange, still I will not give a word power. When you think about the level of offence people will take from some words it just seems crazy! I mean you are giving that word that power over you! Maybe I am just power hungry but I am not giving that away!
If you can't tell cunt is the only word that is off limits and mostly because it is just an ugly word. Not the meaning so much is it just sounds blah! If there was ever a word that could fall out of existence and no one would miss it it it is cunt. Ick, I don't even like typing it!
we say butt. i mean, i did teach my daughter from a young age that "stupid" was not a nice word, she's ten now and i can't remember the last time i heard her say it - on a side note, when she was little she thought stupid was the "S" word (lol)..... i don't like her saying "nuts" but maybe thats cuz she's a girl...I don't know. if she says oh my god, i say don't say that, say oh my gosh. i don't like her saying "shut up" ....... be quiet is nicer. but those questionable words that everyone is mentioning was taught to my daughter around age 2-4 .. sooo I guess I don't have that issue anymore. oh I dont like her saying "fart" .. lol - she doesnt get in trouble for saying these things but i'll remind her those words don't sound nice coming out of her pretty mouth lol - i know she said something totally inappropriate the other day but for the life of me i can't remember what it was now.
I was surprised the other day when I heard a parent object to 'sucks'.
I hear 'That sucks' and it just never bothered me.
Presumably sucking can occur on other things besides straws but it never crossed my mind as something that was objectionable.
I agree with you. I have a friend who doesn't allow her children to say butt, or balls, or poop. Yet, she will cuss in front of them. I actually think SHE sounds trashy much of the time, but if her kid says "butt" he's in trouble. Parents are such hypocrites! I challenge any parent who tells their child not to say butt (or worse), to never say it themselves. I find parents rarely model the language the expect from their children.
I do NOT allow my son to use any words, that insult a person. He said "you're stupid" (not knowing what it means, my dad was turning off the TV when we arrived) and I told him, those were mean words. He knows mean words are hurtful. When I tell him something is mean, he knows not to repeat.
We use nuts, balls, sack, junk, butt, and all the other words. We do not swear...well not the bad ones. Ok I may use a bad word here and their but they cant. We are a normal loving family that jokes around alot so things do slip. Such a life.
I don't find any words objectionable. In fact, I love going to places in Europe where women throw around the C word without thinking about it. I love hearing my younger BIL swear in front of my MIL without her even blinking her eyes.
We say "butt" all the time in this house. My son's butt is adorable!
As long as words aren't used to harm, there is nothing wrong with them. They are words.
I think it depends on the age of the children. My kids are 5 and 2, and we don't use any of those words. We say "bum" for butt, and my son really hasn't had occasion to refer to his testicles in conversation. As they get older, I don't think I'll necessarily object to specific words as long as they are used in a way that is appropriate to the situation and audience.
As I said in the previous post, I try to teach my kids that there is a time and place for everything. They need to pay attention. When it's not the time to be using those words (say, at Grandma and Grandpa's, etc.), they better not be. Different situations and locations DO have different rules. It's up to us as parents to teach that.
