Not Wanting to Breastfeed

Some good advice below. I would just add you'll probably have an easier time when he's really sleepy. First thing in the morning or before/after nap. Good luck!

My daughter self-weaned at about that age, too. She was just "too busy" to take time out to breastfeed. I dried up and had to feed her formula, which at first I was completely appalled to have to do, but she took to it fine from a bottle. I continued to feed her formula until age 2 so she would get the extra iron. keep it up for as long as you can, but if he is not getting anything from you, he still needs to have formula until age 1, then you can decide to switch to milk. His intake from solids is not enough for healthy growth.

Your son sounds completely normal. As they got older, they often don't want to nurse quite as often, nor does it take them as long to do it. When my son was about nine months old, he was nursing 4-5 times per day and for less than 10 minutes each time. He also loved solids and was very active and healthy. I think (and this is hard to remember because he's almost 2.5, that our schedule went something like this:

6:30 - wake up & nurse
8:00 - breakfast w/ solids
9:30 - nap
11:30 - wake up & nurse
12:00 - lunch w/ solids
2:00 - nap
3:30 - wake up & nurse
6:00 - dinner w/solids
7:30 - nurse & bedtime

Some days, we would nurse one extra time in the afternoon, but it just depended on naps.

K.
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This is really quite ordinary, and it doesn't mean he is weaning, or 'doesn't want' to nurse. 'Want' is a mental process that, however brilliant and advanced I'm sure he is, he is not old enough to understand yet.

It's a good idea to nurse first, before offering other foods, and since I know he's not going into the kitchen and making himself lunch, that's your choice to make.

Yes, every 3-5 hours for 3 minutes/side is well within the range of 'normal' ('normal' being somewhere between 6 and 50 feedings a day, ranging in length from 40 seconds to 40 minutes each time).

This is per my Pediatrician:

Nurse BEFORE giving solids.
Otherwise, if nursing after solids... the baby will be too full to nurse, after.
USUALLY, solids is given 1st, ONLY if wanting to "wean" a baby off of breast.

OR, the other scenario, is that he is just possibly weaning himself. (my son did that, and was completely done with breastfeeding at about 12 months old).

Or, he is teething. Sometimes when teething, a baby will "appear" not to want to nurse, because it is uncomfortable. BOTH my kids did that. But it passes.

Your son seems to be regulating himself.... and if he is indeed self-weaning... then he will, in his own time and rhythm. Even if you want to continue nursing him.... if he doesn't want to, then he's done. That is what happened with my son.

Anyway, just some ideas and what I did with both my kids whom I breastfed.

All the best,
Susan

You're absolutely right, it should not 'replace' breastfeeding...but, follow your son's cues for when he's hungry and needs to BF and you guys will be fine.

Babies are very intuitive about their needs. If he loves the solids and is taking in Breastmilk at the same time, he is balancing his bodies needs very well. My son only BF every 4 hours after we started solids and he too loved them. Just make sure you offer the BF before mealtime, so that he gets a bit and not after. This was an error I made and sometimes my son would fill up on solids and then be extra hungry in the middle of the night.

So, about an hour before each meal try to offer the breast and see what he does. Our schedule was kinda like this...so that the BF was longer and then the solids were secondary.

6am wake up and BF
7am Breakfast
Nap
11am BF
12pm Lunch
Nap
4pm BF
5pm Dinner

Solids should just be practice for the big food until you wean or he self weans, which a lot of babies do but not usually before a year.

Good Luck!!!

I don't think he's weaning. As some others suggested, he's become extremely efficient, and I also think it might be an attention span thing. Have you tried nursing him where there is little to distract him (a dark room etc.)? Or wear a nursing necklace - just one that's long enough and safe that he can play with it while nursing. By the time my daughter was 7 months old I could not nurse her in public anymore as she just could not keep her attention off everything else. It was frustrating but she came up with her own schedule. She was always a pretty quick nurser - down to 10 minutes by the time she was about 3 months so when she hit the stage your son is at, 3-5 minutes did become our norm, but longer for the bedtime feeding. She nursed for 25 months, so I am really glad that I did not give up when she went through this phase. You can do it, good luck!

I agree with Laurie and Lisa...it doesn't sound like he's weaning (every 3-5 hours is still pretty consistent), he is probably just more efficient. My little girl goes through phases where she only nurses a few times a day, other times where it's just short spurts, and then there are times where she can't sem to get enough. I think it is a balance of what they need each day, what they've eaten, how preoccupied they are with a developmental milestone, etc. Our BFing ebbs and flows. The main thing is to keep offering it and they'll let you know what they need. Enjoy!

toytally normal. food is just more interesting, although sad as a mommy...On the bright flip side, be glad your son doesn't have feeding issues.

K.,

Solids should not take the place of breastfeeding. You are right about that. Breastmilk should be the primary source of nutrition for the first year. A child will almost never naturally wean before a year of age. He may be getting too many solids and he may be going through a distractible age.

Here are some sample menus that will help you successfully integrate feeding solids and breastfeeding and will lower your risk of premature weaning.

http://www.mother-2-mother.com/samplemenus.htm

The main things to remember are:

1-always nurse BEFORE solids
2-solids are for learning and experimentation at this point, not nutrition. You may be feeding him more solids than he should be getting and this is probably why he's scaled back so much on the nursing.

A lot of people, including some doctors, put forward the faulty notion of babies needing 3 square meals/day. This really is false. There bodies are tiny. They benefit much more from the rich, nutritious breastmilk given often throughout the day, than the comparatively less complete nutrition of solids.

Nothing in the world has better nutrition for your baby than your milk. That will always be the case.

Best of luck! Listen to your instincts! They are right on the money.

Hi K.,
Congratulations on breastfeeding your son for 8 1/2 months - good job and you CAN make it to at least 1 year. You sound like a great mommy. You are absolutely correct that breastmilk is the #1 source of nutrition for you son during his first year. To best help you I have a few questions for you: Are you breastfeeding him before or after giving him solid foods? How much solid food is he eating each day? What kind of foods does he eat? How is your son's weight gain? Does he nurse during the night? Your son is probably getting much more breastmilk than you imagine as baby's become very efficient at the breast by this age. You just want to make sure he does not consume too much solid foods. I am a registered dietitian and a lactation consultant and I would love to "meet" with your via SKYPE for a consultation. Please contact me at www.VirtualBreastfeedingHelp.com to make an appointment.

Take care, K.!

~L., RD,IBCLC

It sounds like he's weaning himself. That will just make it easier. Just nurse him as much as he'll let you but I wouldn't be too concerned if he prefers solids. As long as he's healthy then every thing is good.

Some people say he's weaning, others say he's not. Weaning is (usually) a long process and can take several months, if not years, to happen completely. With that in mind, he's weaning, meaning he's at a different stage now. But it doesn't mean he's necessarily going to stop nursing in the next month. He's probably just taken such a liking to solids that he's a little preoccupied with that. But nursing 3-5 hours for 3 minutes is perfectly normal, I think.
Just listen to his needs (and yours), if you want to let him self-wean. He may be done nursing soon or he may pick nursing back up in full force and want to do it for many months to come.
Best of luck,
N.

This just happened to me too. My son is now 9 and a half months and has been off the breast for about 4 weeks. He wouldn't nurse unless it was the middle of the night. For me, I was really sad as I nursed my daughter for a year and then she weaned herself. He would only latch on for a couple minutes and want to go work on his crawling. He would take a bottle just fine. I think that is you are ok with it, then it is ok, as they are now at an age where they are working towards sustaining growth on solids. I belong to a mom's group and we were just talking about this last night at our ladies night. Some said they pushed through it and let him nurse whenever he wanted to, it was just a growth spurt and they may not have had enough milk, so he wanted stuff that stuck to his ribs. They continued and the baby's desire started up again after the growth spurt. Others said that they just stopped as their child was really active and too busy to nurse and they were fine with that. Something that also is an option if you feel strongly about giving your baby your milk is pumping. Because they are learning so many fun active things (especially boys) at this age, they just don't have the desire to sit still and nurse. With the breast it takes a lot of effort to get the milk out but with the bottle, they can drink and run. Annother factor that contributes to a lack of desire for breastfeeding at this age is teething. If your son is teething right now my pediatrician said it hurts the gums more to breastfeed actively than to let the milk drip into their mouth with the bottle. If this is the case, make sure you pump because when it stops hurting he'll want to breastfeed and if you want to continue you need to make sure your milk doesn't dry up.
As for me and my son, he was happy with the almost 9 month nursing relationship and now loves his bottle and solid. he is very active and oddly enough, the only women I spoke with that have had this problem at this stage had ALL boys. So first decide if it is important to you to continue breastfeeding but as far as NEEDING to continue, it's not a necessity, just a personal choice. i loved it with my daughter and wish that I had pushed through this stage a little more to keep my milk supply. I didn't end up pumping but he never showed the desire after his teething episoe (3 teeth in one week...aweful!)

Hope that helps!
E.

Hi, This is perfectly normal! He is just growing up. You have nursed him for almost 9 months-- that's perfect. Now he's weaning himself, which may be a little sad for you, but will also make your life easier. Embrace this change and move forward with your healthy baby. I suggest talking to his doctor about what kind of milk (organic whole milk? formula?) to replace the breastmilk with. All the best to you.

S.

This is normal. They become more effective nursers as they grow older. They can get the same amount of milk in 5 minutes as they got when they were younger. If you want him to get more milk, then stop supplementing with water, Your breast milk is made out of 3 things. Water, calcium, and fatty acids...+antibodies.

My 1st didn't get ANY solids or water till he was a year old...just mama's milk. My 2nd decided to start solids on her own at 8 months. She's 17 months now and still nurses.

Your son isn't weaning. He's just getting what he needs faster. Solids keep him full longer. Your milk has more fat in it now as well, so that keeps him happy. Your milk changes as he grows to suit his body's needs.

Good luck!

My babies lost interest early, one after 3 mos, one at 6 mos, but with both, I pumped with a really good pump I rented and froze a lot of breastmilk too. They both got breastmilk until about 10-11 mos. which is plenty long enough. Pump if you can, if not, 8 1/2 mos. is really good too!